#623 This post is for illustrative purposes and did not actually occur

TODAY: Baristas bash back as a local seattle coffee shop owner/employee defends herself against a threatening customer with a hammer to the windshield.  PLUS: the Supreme Court allows abortion pill status quo to remain in effect, allowing women nationwide continued access to abortion-inducing medicine via websites like http://plancpills.org (http://plancpills.org) FINALLY: Gen Z is bringing WHO??? to their job interviews? According to WHO??? We go through viral employer-propaganda and hear from conservative Gen Z’ers who are NOT like the others. Subscribe to minion death cult at YouTube.com/miniondeathcult (http://YouTube.com/miniondeathcult)  and  twitch.tv/miniondeathcult (http://twitch.tv/miniondeathcult)   Weed Pin- Drug Church  Dance Dance Dance- Kaytranada  I Keep Forgetin'- Michael McDonald 

TODAY: Author and friend Rax King (https://www.raxkingisdead.com/) joins us to discuss “progressive zionists” ongoing rationalization of Israel’s attacks on Palestine and Zionism in general. ALSO: We stand united across racial lines to denounce the anti-italian slander put forward by some despicable elements of the right wing FINALLY: Speaking of Anti-Italian racism, we explore the frothing conservative backlash against Robert DeNiro aka Slobbert Big Zero Follow us on twitch at twitch.tv/miniondeathcult (http://twitch.tv/miniondeathcult) Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get 2 bonus episodes a week   Subscribe to our youtube channel at http://youtube.com/miniondeathcult   

TODAY: We’re talking about a brutal shooting that happened in our neighborhood, where an “off-duty security guard” shot a 17 year-old who was returning an airsoft gun to a sporting goods store. We discuss how news media’s and the judicial system’s permissive relationship with police violence and vigilante violence has essentially deputized every gun owner in America to act insane. PLUS: We use our liberal backgrounds to explore Democrats’ relationship with its increasingly illiberal leadership, first through the ACLU’s lawsuit against the Biden administration’s Trumpian border policy and then through Democratic leadership inviting Benjamin Netanyahu to speak at congress. Is it worth allowing an elderly racist to close the border and empower Netanyahu to keep Trump out of power? According to the comments on NPR: No! Help us get to 200 followers on Twitch at http://twitch.tv/miniondeathcult (http://twitch.tv/miniondeathcult) Watch a bonus free livestream about Conservative Goths, Libertarians mad that a gay guy won their presidential nomination, and Facebook manosphere guys mad at Miley Cyrus for lying about her virginity: https://www.youtube.com/live/p-dEyGkA3rU?si=nrTv_sQXMTRameV9 (https://www.youtube.com/live/p-dEyGkA3rU?si=nrTv_sQXMTRameV9)   Not a Drill- Veeze Club Classics- Charlie XCX   Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get 2 bonus episodes a week   Subscribe to our youtube channel at http://youtube.com/miniondeathcult   

This episode was originally released March 22, 2023 for patrons. Support the show and get two bonus episodes a week by signing up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult This week we grapple with one of Tony's problematic faves: Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders and her love of child labor Also: Kaepernick is back in the news after sharing a piece of his new autobiography detailing a racially insensitive comment made to him by his adopted white mother. We talk about the relationship between white parents and children of color and address the right wing's overtly racist backlash to the story. Finally: a bowling rock super-spreader supergroup forms made up of band members who defiantly refused to be vaccinated. We listen to their jaunty tunes and watch a maddening interview with Tim Pool. Music:  Rival Schools - The Switch Victory Over The Sun - Alveromancy

TODAY: It’s pride month and we’re shaming the hetero dogs in Petsmart. We’re also somehow still talking about Gerbils. PLUS: We follow a Facebook guy’s righteous comment-section screed back to his profile and glory in its delights. You aren’t ready for A SOLILOQUY ON FEET Please rate and review Minion Death Cult in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen   Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get 2 bonus episodes a week  

TODAY we go over the bombshell news of Trump’s conviction and share some of our favorite responses. From Facebook, to twitter, to Trump himself, the derangement reaches a fever pitch as pundits call for civil war, voters convince themselves that the felony convictions will help Trump, and liberals talk about how gangsta New York is for prosecuting the former president. And to top it all off… Biden thinks this is FUNNY Sinnerman-Nina SImone Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get 2 bonus episodes a week  

Two FBI agent brothers, Marcus (Marlon Wayans) and Kevin Copeland (Shawn Wayans), accidentally foil a drug bust. As punishment, they are forced to escort a pair of socialites (Anne Dudek, Rochelle Aytes) to the Hamptons, where they're going to be used as bait for a kidnapper. But when the girls realize the FBI's plan, they refuse to go. Left without options, Marcus and Kevin decide to pose as the sisters, transforming themselves from African-American men into a pair of blonde, white women Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get 2 bonus episodes a week  

TODAY: We cover the Biden Administration’s flailing response to the ICC issuing arrest warrants for Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu And we explore the unhinged Israeli/Zionist backlash against Norway, Ireland, and Spain for recognizing Palestinian statehood. We also have immediately withdrawn all MDC embassy workers from these countries. FINALLY: The WOKE pope names a new saint and he’s… a what??? (Millennial)  Do you pray to him by crossing yourself with the Konami code or what?? Hello?? Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get 2 bonus episodes a week   Subscribe to our youtube channel at http://youtube.com/miniondeathcult   

TODAY: Mark Wahlberg and Clint Eastwood decide to form their own NON-WOKE Hollywood… according to viral misinformation campaigns on Facebook.  A local news channel covers this trend of putting “satirical” red meat in front of right-wing audiences to get clicks, and conservatives attack the news outlet for shaming “free-thinkers.” PLUS: NFL kicker Harrison Butler gives an Andrew Tate-style commencement speech about how society is making men gay and how most of the graduating women are “probably” fantasizing about being housewives and mothers. (100% fact-checked by Patriots) FINALLY: Racists freak out about a (historically accurate) black samurai in the new Assassin’s Creed video game. Is this the historical realism we’ve come to expect from a game about teleporting into your ancestor’s brains to get a magical staff from Pythagoras?? Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get 2 bonus episodes a week   Subscribe to our youtube channel at http://youtube.com/miniondeathcult   

TODAY we’re talking about the killing of Robert Fortson, a Black US Airman, inside his own home while armed with a legal handgun. We watch the right’s unified front against BLM splinter as body cam footage shows Mr. Fortson pointing the gun down when he is shot. ALSO: Two Biden staffers resign amid his support for Israel’s war on Gaza, and we go to the Washington Post comment section to see what the world’s smuggest liberals have to say about it. FINALLY: It’s the incredible story of a Zionist college crusader who was forced into the pungent embrace of cheese addiction by campus Palestine groups. Oh, Brie-have! (Austin Powers) Home Front- Overtime Tzompantli- Tlayohualli Sign up at http://patreon.com/miniondeathcult for $5/month and get 2 bonus episodes a week   Subscribe to our youtube channel at http://youtube.com/miniondeathcult