379: Where Do You Want More Influence?

Most people don't want feedback. They want validation that you see them

Week 2 of Sustainable Ambition moves from the personal to your career. Once you know what success means to you, the next question is how fast you chase it, and how long you plan to keep that pace up.In this episode, we will separate ambition from hustle, then takes a second look at two beliefs I hear from driven professionals constantly: "If I slow down, I will fall behind" and "If I am not always available, I will lose my relevance."In this episode:The difference between ambition (a direction) and hustle (a speed)One question to ask when you notice yourself rushing: what is this speed for?A short exercise to find the two or three priorities that move your careerWhy reliable and promotable are not the same thingFour ways to define availability, protect thinking time, hand off work and talk about resultsWord-for-word language for workplace conversations

“Success depends on high expectations. Happiness hinges on modest expectations.”

Welcome to November: Sustainable Ambition. This month is about achieving without burning out, and it starts with the most personal question of all. Whose definition of success are you living in?Somewhere along the way, most of us absorbed an idea of what a successful person looks like. From home. From our first bosses. From the crowd. In this episode, We'll talk through where that definition came from, and why it matters most right now, at the loudest point of the year.In this episode:Three places your definition of success probably came fromThree questions to trace any belief back to its sourceFour tells that a goal is inherited, not chosenA simple exercise: Keep, Set Down, QuestionPermission to want success and rest, bothYour one assignment this week: finish the sentence, "Right now, success for me looks like..."

Harsh truth: People overthink because they don’t trust themselves to make a decision

Imagine it’s the end of a long week. We’re sitting together over a cup of coffee, and I ask you one question: where do you want more influence?Not where you have a gap to fix. Where do you want to matter more, be heard more, and shape more of what happens?This is the final episode of our October series on influence without authority, and I’m slowing things down on purpose. I’ll walk you through it like a one-on-one coaching conversation.Over the past three weeks, we covered the influence you’re already having without knowing it, four ways to build more without formal authority, and the skills of reading a room and understanding how influence really moves. Now you point all of it somewhere on purpose.In this episode, you will:Find the one room where you want your voice to countName what’s in the way: an outside obstacle, a story you’ve been telling yourself, or discomfort with influence itselfChoose one small move to make this weekThen I take three listener questions:How do you build influence when you’re the most junior person in the room and you freeze when it’s time to speak?What do you do when your manager is the one blocking you?How do you read a room when the room is a grid of video tiles?Come with a coffee and a little time to yourself.

The relationship paradox: the happier you are alone, the better your relationships become

You’ve felt it: a meeting shifts underneath you, nobody says why, and you have half a second to decide whether to push forward or hold back. Nobody ever taught you how to read that moment. You just learned it the hard way.This week on the podcast we are breaking down the two skills that quietly decide whether good ideas actually land: reading the room in the moment, and understanding the political map underneath your organization over time.You’ll learn how to tell real interest from a polite no, why the quietest person in the room is sometimes the one who actually decides, how to catch an energy shift before it becomes a problem, and when saying nothing is the most useful thing you can do. Then it gets practical: how to map who really holds influence, what people actually need before they’ll say yes, and how to build trust before you ever need to spend it.And the honest part: where savvy crosses the line into something you don’t want to be.If you’ve ever had the right idea land at exactly the wrong moment, this episode is for you.

“Consistency isn’t exciting, but it’s how ordinary people get extraordinary results.”

You’ve watched it happen: someone with less context, less experience, maybe even a weaker idea, makes the call, and yours gets quietly set aside. Not because you were wrong. Because you weren’t the one with the title to decide.This week on Leading Yourself, Carolina gets practical: four specific ways to shape decisions, lead projects, and get heard in rooms where the org chart says you shouldn’t have a say, none of which require anyone to change your title first.You’ll learn why asking the right question beats making the strongest statement, why the real decision usually happens before the meeting does, how to attach your idea to someone else’s authority without losing it, and how to write something that travels to rooms you’re never invited into.And then the honest part: what to do with the nagging feeling that none of this counts if your name isn’t on it.If you’ve ever had the right answer and the wrong title, this episode is for you.