The Other Side of Hard

What helps you keep moving forward when life or work feels harder than you expected? In this episode of Becoming Unshakable, I'm joined by Wendy-Jo Toyama, CEO of the American Epilepsy Society, for a thoughtful conversation about leadership, resilience, and the moments that shape who we become. Wendy shares how a difficult chapter in her career forced her to rethink what leadership looked like and why trying to become someone else would never be the answer. We talk about the influence of competitive gymnastics, where falling was expected, but getting back up was part of the process. That mindset has stayed with Wendy throughout her career, helping her approach setbacks with perspective rather than panic. She explains why mistakes are part of leadership and why the way we respond to them often matters more than the mistake itself. Our conversation also explores the value of curiosity, executive coaching, and habit-building to help leaders stay energized during demanding periods. Wendy shares why pausing can lead to better decisions, how she avoids becoming a barrier to her team, and the questions she asks herself before offering feedback or stepping into situations others are fully capable of handling. One of the most memorable parts of our discussion centers on finding the right environment to lead. Wendy reflects on working in a culture that didn't bring out her best and how that experience ultimately gave her the confidence to embrace her own leadership style. We also discuss the importance of maintaining strong professional relationships and how your network often becomes most valuable during life's unexpected transitions. As we wrap up, Wendy offers practical advice for anyone facing uncertainty. She reminds us that every career has difficult seasons, but those seasons do pass. Sometimes the greatest progress comes after asking ourselves the hardest questions and having the courage to make a change when it's needed. What does getting to the other side of hard look like for you, and what lessons have those experiences taught you? I'd love to hear your thoughts.  

What does it take to stay steady when life, leadership, and uncertainty seem determined to pull you in every direction? In this episode of Becoming Unshakable, I sit down with Phillip W. Heath, President and CEO of Samaritan Health Care and Hospice, to explore a career built on service, compassion, and resilience. Having dedicated more than three decades to caring for vulnerable populations, Phillip shares why leadership begins with understanding others' needs and how staying connected to the people you serve can provide clarity, purpose, and perspective.   Our conversation moves beyond traditional leadership advice and into the realities of making difficult decisions, navigating ambiguity, and remaining committed to a mission as external pressures mount. Phillip reflects on moments when he questioned his path, the lessons he learned from saying yes to opportunities others might avoid, and why chasing every new idea can distract leaders from what matters most. We also discuss the balance between mission and sustainability, and why meaningful leadership requires both heart and discipline.   One theme that stayed with me throughout this conversation is Phillip's belief in the power of mentorship. He explains why no leader succeeds alone, how mentors have shaped his journey, and why borrowing steadiness from others can help us navigate uncertainty with greater confidence. Whether you're leading a team, navigating change, or simply searching for a stronger sense of direction, this episode offers practical wisdom on building resilience through relationships, staying true to your values, and continuing to grow through every stage of leadership. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Who has been the mentor who helped shape your journey, and what lessons from them still guide you today?

What happens when the life you planned disappears in an instant? And where do you find the strength to keep moving when everything familiar has been taken away? In this episode of Becoming Unshakable, I welcome John Register, whose life story offers a remarkable perspective on resilience, leadership, and the power of adapting to circumstances beyond our control. As a world-class athlete, Army officer, and Olympic hopeful, John appeared to be on a clear path forward. Then a training accident changed everything, ultimately leading to the amputation of his leg and forcing him to confront questions about identity, purpose, and what comes next. What followed was not a story of instant recovery or easy answers. Instead, John shares how he rebuilt his life one decision at a time, supported by family, community, and a willingness to rethink what success looked like. His journey eventually led him to the Paralympic Games, where he earned a silver medal, but the lessons he shares go far beyond athletics. They speak to anyone facing uncertainty, disruption, loss, or change. During our conversation, we explore why becoming unshakable is an ongoing process rather than a destination. John explains why he believes adversity cannot always be overcome, but it can be adapted to. We discuss the importance of self-leadership, the role vision plays during difficult seasons, and why waiting for certainty often keeps people stuck. He also shares how some of the most meaningful growth happens when we stop trying to control every outcome and focus instead on how we respond to what is in front of us. We also talk about the pressures leaders face today. From rapid technological change to economic uncertainty and the rise of AI, John offers a thoughtful perspective on staying connected to people when the world seems increasingly focused on systems and automation. His belief that human relationships matter even more in times of disruption is a message that feels especially relevant right now. One of my favorite parts of the discussion is John's framework of reckoning, revision, and renewal. He explains how people move through loss, create new possibilities, and eventually find a renewed sense of purpose. It's a powerful reminder that growth often begins when we stop wishing things would return to the way they were and start creating a path toward what could be. We finish by talking about something many leaders overlook: recovery. John shares why renewal is essential for performance, why rest should be planned rather than postponed, and how creating space to think may be one of the most valuable leadership practices available to us today. What part of John's story resonated most with you? And where might you need to let go of what was in order to move toward what could be? I'd love to hear your thoughts.  

What happens when surviving cancer as a newborn, enduring a stroke in your 30s, and facing emergency open-heart surgery becomes the foundation for a life lived with purpose, perspective, and courage? In this episode of Becoming Unshakable, I sit down with my friend Mikki Gates, a TEDx speaker, executive leader, advocate, and someone whose story will stay with you long after this conversation ends. Mikki shares how being born with cancer shaped her outlook from the very beginning, why a series of missed diagnoses nearly cost her life, and how a massive tumor inside her heart was finally discovered only after she suffered a stroke. What followed was emergency surgery, years of recovery, and a profound shift in how she viewed herself, her work, and what truly matters. Together, we talk about the difference between being fearless and being resilient, why becoming unshakable has nothing to do with perfection, and how learning to advocate for yourself can change the course of your life. Mikki also opens up about the pressure many high achievers place on themselves, the challenge of letting go of perfectionism, and why wellness deserves a place alongside ambition rather than behind it. This conversation is a reminder that strength is not about avoiding hardship. It is about continuing forward when life becomes uncertain. Whether you are facing a personal challenge, navigating change at work, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the demands of daily life, Mikki offers a perspective that can help you pause, breathe, and see your circumstances through a different lens. We also discuss finding joy during difficult seasons, permitting yourself to rest, and one powerful question that may completely change how you think about your worries and struggles. It is a conversation about perspective, humanity, and discovering what really matters when everything else falls away. As you listen, ask yourself: If life forced you to stop and reassess everything tomorrow, what would you want to change today? And what might become possible if you permitted yourself to become a little more unshakable?  

What if the moments that feel like detours in your life are actually leading you exactly where you need to be? In this episode of Becoming Unshakable, I sit down with Frankie Hamilton for a conversation about resilience, career pivots, self-discovery, and learning to trust your own path, even when it looks nothing like the one you originally planned. Frankie shares his remarkable journey from aspiring doctor to teacher, nurse, military officer, and leadership voice, revealing how each unexpected turn helped shape who he is today. Together, we explore the pressure many people feel to have their lives mapped out early and why some of the most meaningful growth happens when we allow ourselves to change direction. Frankie opens up about the insecurities, doubts, and assumptions he had to overcome, including challenging stereotypes, embracing uncertainty, and making bold decisions that others may not have expected. We also discuss what becoming unshakable means in practice. For Frankie, it is about resilience in action, staying steady through challenges, adapting when circumstances change, and refusing to let setbacks define your future. His experiences in healthcare, education, and the U.S. Navy offer powerful lessons on leadership, service, and personal growth. If you've ever questioned whether you're on the right path, felt behind compared to others, or wondered whether changing direction means starting over, this conversation offers a refreshing perspective. Sometimes the zigzags are not distractions from the journey. Sometimes they are the journey. What unexpected turn in your life ended up teaching you the most about who you are? Share your thoughts and join the conversation.  

What actually makes us feel safe when everything around us feels uncertain? In this solo episode of the Becoming Unshakable podcast, I reflect on a conversation that's showing up everywhere right now, inside organizations, leadership circles, employee focus groups, and even in our personal lives. Change fatigue is real. Uncertainty is exhausting. And somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that resilience means pushing through quietly while pretending everything is fine. I share why I believe we've confused strength with steadiness, and why those are two very different things. Strength often tells us to carry everything alone. Steadiness asks us to stay present, honest, and human while we move through difficult moments. That distinction matters more than ever in workplaces where restructures, layoffs, rapid AI adoption, and constant disruption are leaving people emotionally overwhelmed. I also unpack the hidden damage caused by toxic positivity. The pressure to instantly "find the silver lining" can unintentionally shame people for feeling anxious, uncertain, or emotionally affected by change. Real resilience does not skip over the human experience. It allows space for emotions, nervous system regulation, reflection, and recovery before rushing toward solutions. Throughout this episode, I explore the idea of selective vulnerability, what it means for leaders to model humanity without emotionally spilling onto others, and how grounded leadership creates emotional safety for teams. I talk about why AI can imitate optimism but cannot replicate the emotional journey humans go through during uncertainty, and why that human space in the middle still matters deeply. This conversation is for anyone feeling emotionally stretched right now, whether you lead a company, a team, a family, or simply yourself. Maybe becoming unshakable is less about pretending you are okay and more about learning how to steady yourself honestly when you are not.  

What does it really mean to lead with authenticity in a world that constantly pressures us to fit a mold? In this episode of Becoming Unshakable, I sit down with Aileen Warren, President and CEO of ICAN, for a deeply honest conversation about values, identity, mentorship, and the courage it takes to stay true to yourself through every season of life and leadership. Aileen shares the experiences that shaped her leadership philosophy, including a defining moment when she chose to walk away from a successful corporate career because it no longer aligned with her values.  Together, we talk about the emotional weight of leadership decisions, the importance of protecting your mental health, and why so many people spend years trying to become the version of themselves they think the workplace expects.  Aileen also reflects on the pressure many professionals feel to dress, speak, and behave a certain way in corporate environments, and why learning to fully show up as yourself can become one of the most freeing and transformative moments in a career. We also explore the role of faith, friendship, marriage, mentorship, and community in helping us remain steady when life feels uncertain. Aileen opens up about the importance of having trusted people around you, while I share my own journey of unlearning self-reliance and realizing that self-leadership does not mean doing everything alone. There is a powerful conversation here about legacy, emotional intelligence, authenticity, and the layers we build over ourselves trying to meet everyone else's expectations. Throughout the episode, Aileen offers practical wisdom drawn from decades of leadership experience, including why values must remain at the center of every decision we make. We discuss purpose, personal growth, and the responsibility leaders have to understand how their behavior impacts the people around them.  Whether you are leading a company, a team, a family, or simply trying to find your footing in a noisy world, this conversation is a reminder that becoming unshakable begins with knowing who you are and having the courage to live from that place every single day. If this episode resonates with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. What values help keep you centered when life or work feels uncertain?

What do you do when the noise around you starts becoming noise inside you too? In this solo episode of the Becoming Unshakable podcast, I open up about something I think many leaders, parents, teammates, and professionals are quietly carrying right now, emotional overload.  The constant pressure, uncertainty, competing demands, and invisible tension can leave us reacting instead of responding. I share a very real moment from a recent speaking event where loud music unexpectedly interrupted my keynote, and how that experience became a reminder that steadiness is often more powerful than control. This conversation is about learning how to notice the room without becoming the room. Because so many of us walk into stressful conversations, tense meetings, and chaotic environments and absorb the anxiety before we even understand what is actually happening.  And when that happens, we lose clarity, presence, and the calm that the people around us are searching for. I talk about why leadership is not emotional absorption, why reaction mode is often mistaken for productivity, and why the people around us are borrowing our calm more than we realize. If you have been feeling overwhelmed, stretched thin, emotionally flooded, or exhausted from carrying the weight of everyone else's urgency, this episode is a reminder that you don't need to match the chaos to survive it. Sometimes the strongest thing a leader can do is stay present, stay steady, and choose calm even when everything around them feels loud. I also explore how pausing long enough to ask, "What is actually happening here?" can create space between fear and response, and why that space may be one of the most important leadership tools we have today. In a world full of noise, steadiness becomes noticeable. And the leaders people remember are often the ones whose presence felt stronger than the disruption around them. If this episode resonates with you, I would love to hear your thoughts. Have you ever walked into a moment where the pressure in the room tried to pull you out of yourself, and how did you respond?  

Could the way we measure contributions at work miss the very things that make people most valuable? In this episode of Becoming Unshakable, I sit down with Jacob D. Chase to discuss pressure, performance, leadership, and the human side of data. Jacob's journey takes us from Wall Street and hedge funds to entrepreneurship and people-centered performance, where he began asking a question many leaders struggle to answer: how do we really understand someone's value inside an organization? Jacob shares the moment that challenged his leadership thinking, when he realized that one high-performing employee's contribution could not be fully captured by salary bands, job descriptions, or a single leader's perspective. That experience led him to rethink how organizations gather perspectives, recognize hidden value, and connect individual contributions to business results. We also talk about what it means to become unshakable from the inside out. Jacob opens up about learning to separate his inner peace from other people's opinions, the importance of staying aligned with who you are, and why resilience often comes down to knowing you can keep going even when circumstances feel uncertain. This conversation is a thoughtful look at data, leadership, feedback, and self-leadership. It raises an important question for every leader: are we measuring what truly matters, or only what is easiest to see? What do you think makes someone truly valuable inside an organization, and how should leaders recognize it?  

Have you ever convinced yourself that strength means handling everything on your own? In this episode of Becoming Unshakable, I sit down with the incredible Crystal Washington, Hall of Fame speaker, futurist, and someone whose wisdom always leaves a lasting mark. From walking away from corporate America after recognizing social media would change everything, to building a thriving business and becoming one of the most respected voices in leadership and foresight, Crystal shares a journey built on courage, trust, and listening to that inner compass. What stood out most for me in this conversation was our honest discussion around self-leadership and the false belief that becoming strong means doing life alone. Crystal talks openly about therapy, boundaries, rest, family support, and even the powerful role our ancestors play in shaping our resilience. Her perspective on standing on the shoulders of those who came before us was one of those moments that makes you stop and think differently about your own story. We also talk about her decision to take the entire month of December off every year, completely unplugged from work, and why protecting your peace requires the same energy we so often reserve for protecting everyone else. Her message is simple but powerful: fight for yourself like you fight for the people you love. This episode is a reminder that becoming unshakable does not come from carrying everything alone. It comes from preparation, trust, support, and knowing when to let go of control. It comes from giving yourself permission to rest, reset, and believe that asking for help is not weakness, it is wisdom. How often do we mistake self-reliance for strength when what we really need is connection? I would love to hear your thoughts.