PRESERVATION

What happens when you fancy nookie without the social expectations; banging without colliding; getting off without getting together? You've wandered into the realm of cybersex, you fool! Whether it's an Only Fans party, sexting, or being flayed alive by the ultimate Sado-masochistic A.I. Sex Robot, Late Night Large will get to the bottom of it. And give it a virtual spank while they're there, no doubt.

Imagine admiration, devotion and perhaps even devotion to someone you'd never encountered in person. This is a parasocial relationship, and experience tells us this power dynamic can lead to negative consequences on either side; perhaps Misery. But we're here to debate the other side too. Good can and does come from parasocial interactions you know, mostly from us to you.

Many would say Mike and Aaron display nothing but artificial intelligence, but we're talking about the digital kind here. Will A.I. save us from drudgery and climate breakdown, or will it gain sentience and trigger a nuclear holocaust? Is it a panacea to curb our worst impulses, or will it prove as bad as the worst people who no doubt will control it? Are we all watched over by machines of loving grace, or all walked over by psychotic cyborgs? All this on more on the triumphant return of the topical podcast like no other...until ChatGPT makes us redundant at least.

Food and corpses tend to rot too quickly for convenience, while digital data is always at risk from corruption and theft. What we need are ways to protect these important things for longer...Wikipedia will tell us how! The self-anointed Self-Preservation Society discuss the preservation of all of the above, plus a few more, though strangely not life itself. Make of that what you will.

Dressed to the nines and feeling fine, the night soon goes downhill as Mike gets lairy with the men and cheeky with the women. Some illicit substances and lewd dancing later, the head bouncer makes Mike's enemy list, as he sleeps it off in a holding cell.

Going together like a horse and carriage, the witless wonders proceed to catch the bouquet while gabbering about nuptials and bondage until they're thrown out of the church. Is the spirit of matrimony still sacrosanct, despite Mike's best efforts? There's only one way to find out.

Prepare to burn your mattress and throw it at the screws, as our two jailbait-chasers are on 'lockdown' for inciting a prison riot. With all the time in the world to think about what they've done, Mike and Aaron use their captivity to discuss means, motive and opportunity for imprisonment, as well as some inappropriate gags about prison sex.

Dante judged those guilty of treachery to be among the worst sinners, frozen in the deepest circle of the Inferno, and that's where Mike soon regrets taking a leak. Expect to hear rigorous and possibly infantile debate on the motives for betrayal, as well as a lowdown on history's most famous back-stabbers. (footnote: apologies for the mix-up in the episode, of course the historical figure referenced in the Spanish conquest of the Aztecs should have been Hernan Cortes, not Francisco Pizarro!)

Recognition comes in many forms, but Aaron and Mike only care about the kind that comes with a precious metal lustre in this trophy-laden edition of the usually sparsely-decorated topical radio fiasco. Hear about the many forms of peer approval and adulation as Mike's spiteful envy sees him kick the podium over at the Paralympics.

Our two mutilated grotesques spend a little too long lingering on the more nauseating prospects of body augmentation, including anal tattooing, voluntary amputation, and everything in between. More than a few cautionary tales and wince-inducing verbal images abound, in this unforgettably embellished episode that would leave Dr Frankenstein himself in raptures!