498 – Home Depot Ossuary

In which the Twisted Sisters are vanquished by water; there is no way to make Stryfe cool; and the X-Men fight a hurricane.

In which Prosh’s plans sort of come to fruition; we do not know very much about movies; Iceman dies (but is fine); The Stranger gets around; and Toad learns nothing.

In which Prosh assembles a peculiar team; the cosmic forces are somewhat paranoid; Mystique gets shit done; and we are very into the concept of Toadland. X-PLAINED: The Black Womb Project X-Men Forever #1-3 Prosh Several custom-grown people A motley crew of mutants (and one human) Cataclysm keys The assassination of Graydon Creed Several poignant reunions The cosmic construction worker (Death) Why the Phoenix Force chose Jean Grey How much continuity is too much continuity Pyro’s romance novels NEXT EPISODE: The rest of the series! Check out the visual companion to this episode on our blog! Find us on Apple Podcasts or Spotify! Jay and Miles X-Plain the X-Men is 100% ad-free and listener supported. If you want to help support the podcast–and unlock more cool stuff–you can do that right here! Buy rad swag at our Dashery shop!

In which Rogue is beset with leadership; Psylocke’s telekinetic sword is narratively inconsistent; the Crimson Pirates are bad at their job; and you should not look to Frank Punisher as a role model.

In which the X-Men zealously protect their trademarks; Cable can have as many moms as he wants to; not everyone should have to be a superhero; Lady Deathstrike knows how to handle unauthorized emails; and somehow there are still more gun arms.

In which the first X-Men film turns 25 (and holds up remarkably well).

In which the Shockwave Riders are exceptionally silly; we are deeply impressed by brain sharks; and chrome plating and gun arms are among the lesser explored recurring Claremont motifs.

In which we record live from the Library of Congress; time travel complicates everything; X-Men is a fundamentally queer narrative; we attempt to summarize a lot of history very fast; and when identities are politicized, claiming them becomes a political act.

In which Chris Claremont tries to make the Neo happen; Cecilia Reyes continues to have no time for this bullshit; Rogue gets some action; Shadowcat flees the comic; and Tessa returns.

In which Pete Wisdom does his best Charles Xavier; Alastair Stuart has not aged well; San Francisco has monster problems; and there’s probably an alternate universe where Dr. Niles Roman fronts a metal band for toddlers.