47. Self-Sabotage as a Misguided Desire for Safety

You can find the most valuable lessons on being an effective manager and leader from experiences you have outside of your regular work. A side quest (or side hustle) can help you tap into strengths and develop abilities that you can then bring, more intentionally, to your job. In today's episode I share the story of my time as a fitness instructor, and how it helped make me a better Director in my corporate job. Let's discuss! After the Episode: RSVP for Career Conversation: Pivots + Side Hustles on April 25. Learn about coaching with me or book a consult. Follow me on LinkedIn or TikTok! --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kimnicol/message

Think about your career and work as being part of an ecosystem. It will give you a useful perspective for addressing problems you face as a manager and leader. Let's discuss! After the episode: Join the next Career Conversation: Pivots + Side Hustles. RSVP here: https://lu.ma/hswnn6lv Follow me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/ For 1:1 coaching, book a consult: https://calendly.com/kimnicol/consultation https://kimnicol.com/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kimnicol/message

Bonus episode with *video* and an invitation! Join me and career coach Wendy Saccuzzo for a live (on Zoom) Career Conversation on Pivots and Side Hustles. One of the inspirations behind this podcast is the experience I had over 12 years ago, when I was promoted to a Director role and started managing a team of my peers. There wasn't much guidance or training available to me as a new manager, and it's one reason I started teaching Essential Skills for New Managers, which then led to this podcast. My career journey has had a number of pivots (I've been a lawyer, a yoga teacher, and a public speaking trainer). Now I work full-time as a coach in private practice, but looking back I can see how my side-hustles helped me become a better manager, a more inspired leader, and led me to work I really love. This free✨ live (on Zoom) event is on Thursday, April 25, at 9am Pacific Time. RSVP here: https://lu.ma/hswnn6lv If you'd like to explore 1:1 coaching with me, book a consult and let's talk about it. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kimnicol/message

There will be times at work when you wonder, "WTF are they doing?!?" When you're a manger you might wonder this about someone on your team who reports to you, or your own manager and leadership team. Instead of saying that out loud, however, try asking this question instead: "What are you trying to solve for?" You want a better picture of how this person is thinking and seeing -- because that is what drives their choices and actions. Using this question will help you illuminate their intentions and the perspective behind their behaviors. This episode breaks down why that question is so effective, especially when you're working with someone who might get defensive easily or who might be in a position of formal power over you. Instead of feeling confused or frustrated, try using this question instead and see what happens. Other episodes referenced: Ep. 129 - "Walk me through" Ep. 110 - Identify the Problem After the episode: For 1:1 coaching, book a consult to meet with Kim and discuss your situation and goals: https://calendly.com/kimnicol/consultation Get on the Wait List for the Group Program -- Visit my website: https://kimnicol.com/ Say hi on LinkedIn --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kimnicol/message

As an individual contributor, your role is to be good at your specific task or function. As a manager and leader, your role shifts -- and now you're making more decisions. When you understand how to make decisions, you'll feel more confident and less drained. In this episode you'll learn: Signs you might be avoiding a decision The real cost of "keeping your options open" Why the freedom of making a decisions feels better than the freedom of not deciding After the Episode: To discuss your situation and goals with Kim and learn how 1:1 coaching can help, book a consult. Join the Wait List for the group program, and get invited to upcoming workshops. Follow me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kimnicol/message

Your health and well-being make a difference in how you show up as a manager and leader. And, your work can also effect your health and well-being. So in today's episode, you'll learn an easy framework to help organize your thinking about this. It will enable you to recognize what you do well, and identify areas you'd like to nurture. Let's discuss! After the Episode: Follow me on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/ Register for Create Positive Change here. Book a consult to discuss your situation and goals, and learn about 1:1 coaching with me. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kimnicol/message

To work effectively and sustainably, you want to think about what support you need. This might be new if you're extremely self-reliant. Your first impulse might be to say, "I'm good, I don't need any support." You might also do this if you feel that asking for support somehow makes you look bad. But being able to identify and advocate for resources is a leadership skill, and one that will benefit both you and your team. Let's discuss! After the episode: Book a consult to talk with me about your situation, goals, and 1:1 coaching: https://kimnicol.com/ Get on the Wait List to hear about upcoming workshops and when the next Group Program is offered: https://kimnicol.com/newmanagers/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kimnicol/message

Perfectionism isn't about being perfect. It's about feeling safe. In this episode, learn to recognize the signs of perfectionism holding you back -- including when you might drift towards micromanaging. When you can recognize when it happens and understand why it's happening, you will be more empowered to access your agency and choose a more useful approach. Let's discuss! After the episode: Book a consult to discuss 1:1 coaching with Kim: https://calendly.com/kimnicol/consultation Join the Wait List for workshops and group programs: https://kimnicol.com/newmanagers/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kimnicol/message

In the course of your career you will want to develop a well-nurtured network. This will help you navigate your career, as well as manage and lead more effectively. In this episode you will learn more about why you should care about growing and nurturing your network, as well as gain some specific, simple steps for how to do that. Let's discuss! After the episode: Schedule a free consultation to discuss your situation and goals, and learn about my coaching program: https://calendly.com/kimnicol/consultation Follow me on Insight Timer to join upcoming LIVE events: https://insighttimer.com/kimnicol Follow me on TikTok to see what I'm posting each day: https://tiktok.com/@coachkimnicol Get on the Wait List for my group leadership program: https://kimnicol.com/newmanagers/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kimnicol/message

Becoming a better communicator and more effective manager means being less reactive and more intentional. How do you do that? Start by growing your self-awareness. When you slow down, step back, and see your own habits and preferences, you will be able to bring more intention to how you communicate. Instead of simply operating by default and being reactive, you become more deliberate and intentional. Let's discuss! After the episode: I'm taking new clients. To talk with me about your goals, challenges, and how 1:1 coaching with me can help, book a time here: https://calendly.com/kimnicol/consultation Get on the Wait List to hear about workshops and the next group program: https://kimnicol.com/newmanagers/ --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/kimnicol/message