When the Person Who Is Supposed to Help Doesn't See the Abuse: Understanding GALs and CASA
You finally leave the abuser. You survive the abuse and now you are trying best to navigate the court system with someone that is assigned to your case that doesn't know you, your kids, or your abuser. They get to see your abuser in all his or her glory looking calm, charming, a devoted parent, hardworking and maybe a pillar in the community/church. They see you at your lowest emotional. Crying, brain foggy, angry, struggling to form words, and seemingly unwilling to cooperate. Professionals need to look at all of the evidence. To help out your case. Ask your attorney, child services, the GAL or CASA what information you can provide to help as well as what restrictions are there. Remember, the GAL or CASA is not your personal advocate. They are there for the wellbeing of your child. Keep communication professional. Give the Cliffnotes version (short version). Include dates, actual words the child said about certain events. Don't put it in your words or add your thoughts on what they could have meant. Distinguish between what you personally witnessed, what your child told you, what another person reported, and what you suspect. Organize your notes so you can find them readily for court or if you are asked to present your information. You may not be entitled to every detail of an investigation, and the professional may be limited by court orders, confidentiality rules, or the scope of their appointment. Do not coach your child on what to tell a GAL, CASA, therapist, or judge. Do not rehearse answers or tell them that they must choose one parent over the other. Speak with a family-law attorney who understands domestic violence and custody matters, if you can access one. If you cannot afford an attorney, consider contacting local legal aid, a domestic violence advocacy organization, or a law school clinic to ask whether assistance is available. Availability and eligibility vary. Perhaps you feel your evidence has been overlooked. Perhaps something you said has been misunderstood. Perhaps the professional seems to accept the other parent's account without asking about information you believe is important. If you believe the GAL or CASA misheard you, didn't get all the information, or misunderstood you don't write an essay or blast them. Take a moment to compose your thoughts, breathe and identify the particular statement or conclusion you believe is inaccurate. Explain the factual correction. Provide the supporting information you have. Then state why the correction matters to your child or to the issue being considered. This process can be tough and you may feel as though you are on a roller coaster! I get it and understand! You deserve to be treated with dignity, even when people disagree with you. Your child deserves to have their experiences and needs considered carefully. If you believe your child is in immediate danger, seek emergency help. For ongoing concerns, consult the appropriate child-protection professionals, your attorney, or a qualified child therapist who understands family violence and court-involved cases. For help with domestic violence safety planning, you can also contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or visit TheHotline . org, when it is safe to do so.
