Why We Struggle with Boundaries

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who has been confident in their handling of difficult in-laws, but has been recently challenged by a new upcoming family event. The submitter of the question is struggling over how does one go no contact while still fulfilling familial obligations. What obligations are exactly is discussed and the definition expanded. Familiar obligations go both ways, and when they become one way, we have to make adjustments.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who experiences fear and debilitating physical symptoms anytime they try to engage in music. In the past they had experienced painful criticisms following performances or just for having that interest. Today’s podcast focuses on how we might be able to remember the physical details of a memory, but not have recall of the painful memories associated with it. Once those emotions can be recalled and felt again, we are able to put them back in the past where they belong, so we can live in the with a greater sense of safety and confidence.

Today’s podcast discusses specific examples of self avoidance and how subtle they are. As a result, we often overlook them and don’t see how they are feeding the larger struggles in our lives.

Today’s podcast explores why boundary setting sometimes goes overboard or is overactive. The various reasons discussed can help explain both our over active boundary systems and also why we might be the one frequently crossing boundaries.

Today’s podcast offers a brief reflection on how we tend to be drawn to what is familiar even if what is familiar is negative. So often we anticipate anger and punishment. Sometimes our deepest fear is that God will be angry and punish us. However, we have to live in such a way that the love of God and mercy is what are familiar and the norm.

Today's podcast answers a question from someone struggling over whether or not they should have another child. They have many conflicting feelings and worries. In those worries is the concern they are not being a good steward if they have another child.

Today’s podcast is a discussion of the paradox of our sense of self. In order to become selfless, we have to have some sense of self. To completely abandon any sense of self can leave us to spiritually flounder and actually abandon who God wants us to be. There is a more detailed discussion on what aspects of self we are to hold onto and engage.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who has struggled with obsessive compulsive disorder and has noticed it affecting their orthodox Christian spiritual life. Specifically, they are always convinced God hates them and is punishing them. Today’s podcast discusses what is actually driving those beliefs and some options and areas to explore in finding long-term relief.

Today’s podcast answers a question from someone who is struggling to cope with an enmeshed family of origin. Despite being married and having their own kids, and their siblings all being married and having their own kids, the family of origin functions as though none of that has happened. This can be a very confusing reality to live in. The guilt of the family can be powerful, but we often don’t realize that when we serve an enmeshed family system we are actually working against the life God wants us to live.