Pirate Borg #6: Booty Bacon

Goonie's World is taking a break until 2027.

Piet “Lady” Monsalve, Goedele “Lobster Legs” Fayrfax, and Hella “Tempo” Crydlyngton joust with animated suits of armor and then continue exploring the castle. Following a battle with birds, the pirates reach the galleon stuck on a spire, looting some of the cargo. Afterwards, a dangerous balancing act is attempted to reach the central tower, and not everyone succeeds. Inside, someone long sought-after awaits them. Meanwhile, in another part of the castle, the owner appears, and he’s not happy.

Following an intense encounter with conquistadors, the pirates make their way to Skeleton Point. Getting in, though, proves to be more treacherous than they imagined, and for one character, the process is utterly transformative. Within the castle walls, they have a healthy meal, and after further exploration, clash with armored adversaries.  

Fighting and hacking their way through the jungle, the pirates arrive at the hidden temple entrance. After several hours of digging, they make their way inside -- only to face the hideous creature seen in their dreams. As a result, one of the pirates undergoes a disturbing transformation. Further exploration reveals some unexpected company.

Continuing to explore the swamp, the pirates stumble upon another resident, and after information is dispensed, so too is violence. Afterwards, the pirates finally find the rumored witch and discover that appearances can be deceiving.

After a bawdy evening at a brothel, the pirates find themselves in a brawl at The Green Kraken, and Weird Beard gives an ultimatum they can’t ignore. Trekking into Death’s Head Swamp the following day, they discover that it harbors far more dangers than just a witch.

The pirates search the old lighthouse for treasure and run into some unexpected guests. In the cellar, they find a hidden room and uncover evidence of dark practices having occurred recently. An evil presence makes itself known, and scavenging seagulls add to the chaos.    

Deep in the Dark Caribbean, three rookie pirates just barely manage to beach their sinking sloop on the shores of Black Coral Bay. At Coral Town, they learn of a curse afflicting the small island and experience firsthand how the dead refuse to stay dead. They learn of other things, too, trouble and treasure alike, but for the adventurous trio, the only concern is where to begin.

The heroes find a magic scroll, harvest a crystal, grab a big gun, dine in a cozy cavern, avoid the pull of magnetism, combat a skeleton, receive a scalping, locate a secret door, and at long last, battle the bug boss and her regenerating swarm. Will Patchwerk Patty, Nick Rattle, and Pepperoni Magnifico finally win Aldremach’s treasure or will they find themselves back at square one with nothing but chump change and scars?

The dungeons crawlers drink some stigmata, gain some shields, collect some coins, loot some sarcophagi, explore an arena, and traverse a pressure plate maze.