Your Dating Benchmark: Why You Don’t Believe There’s Someone Out There for You

Is it you, or is it the app?If you feel like you’re playing the same game on dating apps every day, this episode is for you.I sat down with filmmaker Shalini Kantayya, director of Love Apptually, a documentary about dating apps and modern dating culture. We talk about the hidden “desirability scores” apps have been reported to use, what happens to your most intimate data, and what Black and brown women experience online. I also share the results of an internal study where 75 of my clients switched their profile race from Black to white and back, and what changed.Keep your eyes open, and stop making it about you.Is Hinge Racist? My 6-Week Black Women Racial Hinge Study Timestamps:00:00 Welcome + meet Shalini Kantayya01:30 Why she made Love Apptually03:00 From the attention economy to the "intimacy economy"04:45 Two companies and the dating app market06:30 Why you feel stuck: the endless scroll and the paradox of choice08:30 Hidden "desirability scores" on dating apps11:45 How apps may rank women and people of color15:00 Your data: what apps know, sell, and don't tell you17:05 Pre-order Girl, Get Your Guy18:25 Anything good about dating apps? (and the app-free December challenge)20:15 What Black and brown women experience on the apps21:30 Why men feel dehumanized too: match rates and the manosphere24:30 My study: 75 clients switched their profile race28:45 Why my program uses apps less (referrals and offline)29:30 Vulnerability: why taking the mask off creates intimacy32:20 Where to watch Love ApptuallyWatch Love Apptually: Wednesday, November 18, 2026 at 8:00 PM    Venue: Village East by Angelika, 181 Second Ave New York City  Available for special DOC NYC digital screening across the U.S. for one week beginning November 18thDOC NYC & VIRTUAL TICKETS: https://www.docnyc.net/film/love-apptuallyThe premiere will be followed by a special Q&A with the director moderated by Faith Hill, staff writer of The Atlantic.  BIO:Shalini Kantayya is an acclaimed film director whose work marries the future of technology with the future of story. Her film TikTok, Boom. premiered at Sundance 2022, was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize, and earned a 2023 Emmy nomination. Coded Bias (Sundance 2020), hailed as “the most important film about AI you can see today,” earned Emmy, Critics’ Choice, and NAACP Image Award nominations and reached global audiences on Netflix. Love Apptually completes her trilogy tracing the arc of technological power: from bias in code, to global attention, to the systems mediating human intimacy.Her debut, Catching the Sun, was a New York Times Critics’ Pick. Kantayya is a TED Fellow, Fulbright Scholar, and Sundance Fellow.Shalini's Links → Website | Instagram | Facebook | Speaking AgentTake 10 seconds to tap Follow so you never miss an episode. And if this one hit home, send it to the girlfriend who needs to hear it.Take the Dating Archetype QuizWays I can help you:Pre-order my book, Girl, Get Your Guy! (launching February 2, 2027). Book a call with me. Join the Get Your Guy Club Missed my Q&A TikTok Lives? Catch up here!Sincerely,Coach AnwarSend us Fan MailThank you for listening, girl. If this episode helped you, here’s how you can help me (it takes less than a minute):Tap Follow on Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episodeLeave a rating or a short review. Tell me what clicked for you. I read them!Every follow and share helps more women find this podcast and get ready for the love they deserve.Sincerely,Coach Anwar

Do you date from survival, fear, or joy?If you’ve ever spiraled over a text, accepted crumbs because something felt better than nothing, or cut off a good man before he could get close, this episode is for you.In this episode, I break down the 3 modes of dating: survival, fear, and joy. Your dating mindset shapes who you choose, what you accept, and how you feel the whole time. I’m getting real about dating anxiety, how to stop settling, and how to attract a high-value man by dating from curiosity and confidence instead of scarcity and self-protection. This is the kind of dating advice for women that I give my clients every day, because getting a boyfriend who’s right for you starts with the mode you’re in.Timestamps:00:00 Welcome + what I've been up to (London, AfroTech, book news)03:40 The 3 modes of dating (and why you spiral over a text)05:20 The staircase: the question each mode asks on a date07:40 Survival mode: signs you're dating from scarcity11:00 The Crumb Audit exercise13:10 Pre-order Girl, Get Your Guy14:25 Fear mode: red flag hunting, testing men, cutting him off20:30 The vulnerability exercise22:20 Take the Dating Archetype Quiz23:20 Joy mode: what it looks like28:55 The post-date exercise31:10 Book a call + DM me your modeTake 10 seconds to tap Follow so you never miss an episode. And if this one hit home, send it to the girlfriend who needs to hear it.Not sure which mode you’re in? Take the Dating Archetype QuizWays I can help you:Pre-order my book, Girl, Get Your Guy! (launching February 2, 2027). When you pre-order, you get instant access to Anwar AI for personalized dating advice 24/7, plus monthly group calls with me where you bring your real dating situations, and I give you direct feedback.Book a call with me. I’ve been getting a LOT of DMs and emails asking to chat, so I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar.Join the Get Your Guy Club for a year of dating support at your own pace, including my weekly group calls, private Facebook group, monthly 1-on-1s, and my 40+ hour course.More from me:Missed my Q&A TikTok Lives? Catch up here!Sincerely,Coach AnwarSend us Fan MailThank you for listening, girl. If this episode helped you, here’s how you can help me (it takes less than a minute):Tap Follow on Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episodeLeave a rating or a short review. Tell me what clicked for you. I read them!Every follow and share helps more women find this podcast and get ready for the love they deserve.Sincerely,Coach Anwar

Were you taught to “just wait on God” for love?If you were raised in the church, still carry a Christian upbringing with you, or you’re a recovering church girlie who wonders why dating feels so hard, this episode is for you.I sat down with my friend and fellow Get Your Guy coach, Coach Lauren Mathues, for an honest conversation about dating, healing, and getting out of your own way. We talk about the messages many of us grew up with, from purity culture to “just wait on God,” and how they quietly shape the way we date. Then we get into how to rethink dating, and why taking action matters more than waiting for love to find you. This is the kind of Christian dating advice I wish more women heard.Timestamps:00:00 Welcome + meet Coach Lauren03:10 Why every girl listening has a church girl background05:40 Purity culture: where it came from and what it taught women09:10 Feeling behind? Why your "dating age" matters11:45 The starting line: why Black and Brown women feel behind13:20 Is it wrong to date multiple men?19:15 The boxes Christian women check (and "he says he's a Christian")21:10 Pre-order Girl, Get Your Guy22:50 Your desire for partnership is real25:40 Forgiveness vs. reconciliation27:50 Honoring your parents without silencing yourself35:45 "Just wait on God" and why waiting isn't a dating strategy39:45 Where to find Coach LaurenBIO:Coach Lauren is a dating and relationship coach who helps singles date with clarity, confidence, and faith. Since 2018, she’s guided women through the challenges of modern dating by untangling unhelpful church teachings, healing from purity culture, and embracing their God-given identity. Now happily married for over a decade, she’s passionate about helping others find real, lasting love without compromising their values.Resources Mentioned:Instagram | WebsiteTake 10 seconds to tap Follow so you never miss an episode. And if this one hit home, send it to the girlfriend who needs to hear it.Not sure which mode you’re in? Take the Dating Archetype QuizWays I can help you:Pre-order my book, Girl, Get Your Guy! (launching February 2, 2027). When you pre-order, you get instant access to Anwar AI for personalized dating advice 24/7, plus monthly group calls with me where you bring your real dating situations, and I give you direct feedback.Book a call with me. I’ve been getting a LOT of DMs and emails asking to chat, so I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar.Join the Get Your Guy Club for a year of dating support at your own pace, including my weekly group calls, private Facebook group, monthly 1-on-1s, and my 40+ hour course.More from me:Missed my Q&A TikTok Lives? Catch up here!Sincerely,Coach AnwarSend us Fan MailThank you for listening, girl. If this episode helped you, here’s how you can help me (it takes less than a minute):Tap Follow on Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episodeLeave a rating or a short review. Tell me what clicked for you. I read them!Every follow and share helps more women find this podcast and get ready for the love they deserve.Sincerely,Coach Anwar

Why do your dates keep fizzling out before date three?If you’ve mastered the vetting, you’re setting boundaries, and you still can’t get a man past the first few dates, this episode is for you. I sat down with one of my program graduates, Dr. Kelly, for a real, raw 1-on-1 dating coaching session on what’s actually behind a dating stalemate.You’ll hear how I work through the hidden scarcity mindset that leads highly successful women to entertain men they shouldn’t, and how to stop settling. We also cover the difference between a rule and a firm dating boundary, and why chasing an outcome kills the fun. Then I give Dr. Kelly a real-world challenge: get offline, start conversations with men in person, and step back into your power as the chooser.This episode comes from my YouTube series, What’s Your Dating Tea. About once a month, I’m bringing one of these sessions to the podcast so you can see what real dating coaching looks like behind the scenes Timestamps:00:00 Welcome + Dr. Kelly's dating tea: why dates stall before date three03:25 Wall or boundary? Say "I don't feel comfortable," not "not yet"05:15 The video-call boundary06:00 The scarcity mindset behind the stall07:25 "Am I lowering my standards?"09:15 Don't lower your standards, raise your boundaries10:10 Are you dating your type or casting too wide a net?12:00 Pre-order Girl, Get Your Guy13:25 "You don't believe it's going to happen"15:00 Online vs. offline: be the chooser16:00 The challenge: talk to one or two men a day18:55 Focus on dating, not the outcome21:15 Why you need to clear out scarcity before a relationship24:15 Who to talk to: whoever's feet are pointing toward youTake 10 seconds to tap Follow so you never miss an episode. And if this one hit home, send it to the girlfriend who needs to hear it.Not sure which mode you’re in? Take the Dating Archetype QuizWays I can help you:Pre-order my book, Girl, Get Your Guy! (launching February 2, 2027). When you pre-order, you get instant access to Anwar AI for personalized dating advice 24/7, plus monthly group calls with me where you bring your real dating situations, and I give you direct feedback.Book a call with me. I’ve been getting a LOT of DMs and emails asking to chat, so I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar.Join the Get Your Guy Club for a year of dating support at your own pace, including my weekly group calls, private Facebook group, monthly 1-on-1s, and my 40+ hour course.More from me:Missed my Q&A TikTok Lives? Catch up here!Sincerely,Coach AnwarSend us Fan MailThank you for listening, girl. If this episode helped you, here’s how you can help me (it takes less than a minute):Tap Follow on Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episodeLeave a rating or a short review. Tell me what clicked for you. I read them!Every follow and share helps more women find this podcast and get ready for the love they deserve.Sincerely,Coach Anwar

Do you ever feel like you’re not beautiful enough to get the guy you want?Beauty matters in dating, even if it shouldn’t. In this episode, I sit down with psychologist and author Dr. Allycin Powell-Hicks to talk about what beauty really is, how it shapes who gets chosen, and what it costs you when you see yourself through someone else’s eyes. We get into the science of attraction, why beauty standards keep changing, and what it means for Black and brown women. You’ll leave with simple practices you can start this week.This one is for every woman who has ever judged herself by a standard she never chose.Timestamps00:00 Welcome + meet Dr. Ally01:15 Why she studied beauty03:00 Why beauty matters (She’s All That)03:30 The science of attraction06:00 How beauty standards change by decade09:15 “I don’t feel beautiful”: whose gaze are you in?11:45 Beauty vs. glamour14:00 Does beauty affect how long you live?16:00 Bias in healthcare and in swiping18:45 How your environment changes how you see yourself20:30 Where to travel, and Adore Tours24:30 The boys were checking for you25:15 Pre-order Girl, Get Your Guy27:30 How your body changes (and thanking it)29:30 Sweats vs. all dressed up: who gets approached?32:00 “He’s a 3” doesn’t mean you’re a 333:15 Why beautiful women have a harder time dating34:45 Patriarchy, online dating, and what lasts38:00 Inner beauty: “safety equals beauty”41:00 Ethnic identity and self-worth44:15 Do Black women feel more control over their bodies?46:00 Beauty rituals you can start now51:00 The vision closet53:00 Curate your closet, be curious, not critical55:15 Where to find Dr. AllyBIO:Dr. Allycin Powell-Hicks is a psychofuturist, mental health expert, and media personality fascinated by the intertwining ways beauty, identity, and culture shape human behavior. With a Ph.D. in Psychology and clinical training at Kaiser Permanente and Cedars-Sinai, she has built a career translating complex science into conversations people actually want to have.Whether she's unpacking the neuroscience of attraction, questioning beauty standards we've mistaken for truth, or exploring why we care so much what strangers think of us, Dr. Ally approaches mental health with equal parts rigor, humor, and gentle irreverence. She believes the most interesting thing about a person is almost never what they look like—it's what they choose, how they carry themselves, and the ideas they organize their lives around.Her career reflects that same curiosity. From academia and television to comedy stages and corporate boardrooms, the diversity of her experiences has been driven by a habit of divergent thinking: seeing connections where others see separate disciplines. That perspective has led her to work with organizations including Warner Bros. Discovery and the American Psychological Association, appear across OWN, Discovery+, Hulu, VH1, and NBC, and co-host Group Therapy, a live comedy show where psychology and stand-up unexpectedly become perfect partners.Her debut book, The Problem with Pretty (Hachette), is the natural culmination of those intersecting passions, weaving together neuroscience, beauty culture, media, perception, identity, and human behavior to ask a deceptively simple question: What if beauty isn't what we think it is?Resources Mentioned:Website | Instagram | TikTok | Book: The Problem With PrettyTake 10 seconds to tap Follow so you never miss an episode. And if this one hit home, send it to the girlfriend who needs to hear it.Take the Dating Archetype QuizWays I can help you:Pre-order my book, Girl, Get Your Guy! (launching February 2, 2027). When you pre-order, you get instant access to Anwar AI for personalized dating advice 24/7, plus monthly group calls with me where you bring your real dating situations, and I give you direct feedback.Book a call with me. I’ve been getting a LOT of DMs and emails asking to chat, so I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar.Join the Get Your Guy Club for a year of dating support at your own pace, including my weekly group calls, private Facebook group, monthly 1-on-1s, and my 40+ hour course.More from me:Missed my Q&A TikTok Lives? Catch up here!Sincerely,Coach AnwarSend us Fan MailThank you for listening, girl. If this episode helped you, here’s how you can help me (it takes less than a minute):Tap Follow on Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episodeLeave a rating or a short review. Tell me what clicked for you. I read them!Every follow and share helps more women find this podcast and get ready for the love they deserve.Sincerely,Coach Anwar

Are you managing your stress when you should be eliminating it?Most of us are told to manage stress. Lisa A. Smith says the stress that wears us down is chronic, and it can be eliminated. In this episode, I sit down with Lisa for a powerful conversation about the difference between acute and chronic stress, the beliefs that keep us stuck, and how stress affects our health and the decisions we make. You’ll learn how to stop living in survival mode and start choosing differently in your life and relationships. Lisa also shares her faith-based framework: radical obedience.This one is for every woman who is tired, overwhelmed, and sure she has no way out.Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome + meet Lisa A. Smith 01:45 Acute vs. chronic stress 03:00 How to tell the difference 06:45 Why Black women’s stress is mostly chronic 08:15 What chronic stress does to your body and discipline 09:45 Exit, enter, and engagement strategies 11:45 Start with what you want 13:30 Making a decision in dating 15:00 What “decide” really means, and trusting yourself 16:45 Worthiness and self-betrayal 18:15 The antidote: excavation (ask why seven times) 22:00 Pre-order Girl, Get Your Guy 23:30 The four principles of radical obedience 25:15 “I can’t leave today”: what “immediately” means 27:30 Joy, not resistance 29:45 Innocence, not expectation 33:15 Homework, step 1: do nothing when you’re in your feelings 36:15 Step 2: pick your strategy 37:15 Step 3: clear your head, cut one thing 39:15 Where to find LisaBIO:Lisa A. Smith, MBA, is a stress elimination strategist, transformational speaker, coach, and founder of CLARITY™, a platform dedicated to helping gifted professionals and entrepreneurs eliminate chronic stress at the root.She is the creator of Radical Obedience®, her philosophy of complete surrender as an antidote to chronic burnout and overwhelm, and The H.E.R. Method™, a framework that helps people heal, eliminate the root causes of stress, and live with greater clarity and alignment. Lisa is currently writing a book on Radical Obedience®.Over the past decade, Lisa has helped thousands transform their health, mindset, and lives, including helping Eric Thomas, Ph.D., the #1 motivational speaker, eliminate chronic stress. She has spoken for organizations including Microsoft, Intel, the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, and Wayne State University.Lisa holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology and an MBA and is currently a student at Princeton Theological Seminary.Links Mentioned:Instagram | Facebook | Tiktok | YouTube | Website | PodcastTake 10 seconds to tap Follow so you never miss an episode. And if this one hit home, send it to the girlfriend who needs to hear it.Not sure which mode you’re in? Take the Dating Archetype QuizWays I can help you:Pre-order my book, Girl, Get Your Guy! (launching February 2, 2027). When you pre-order, you get instant access to Anwar AI for personalized dating advice 24/7, plus monthly group calls with me where you bring your real dating situations, and I give you direct feedback.Book a call with me. I’ve been getting a LOT of DMs and emails asking to chat, so I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar.Join the Get Your Guy Club for a year of dating support at your own pace, including my weekly group calls, private Facebook group, monthly 1-on-1s, and my 40+ hour course.More from me:Missed my Q&A TikTok Lives? Catch up here!Sincerely,Coach AnwarSend us Fan MailThank you for listening, girl. If this episode helped you, here’s how you can help me (it takes less than a minute):Tap Follow on Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episodeLeave a rating or a short review. Tell me what clicked for you. I read them!Every follow and share helps more women find this podcast and get ready for the love they deserve.Sincerely,Coach Anwar

Do you stutter, shrink, or perform when a man you like walks up?Most women play a role in dating without knowing it. In this episode, from a recent live, I break down four roles I’ve seen in 15+ years of coaching: the servant, the jester, the princess, and the dictator. You’ll hear why you may be performing, people-pleasing, or putting a man on a pedestal, and what it takes to step into queen energy and date from power and partnership instead of seeking approval.Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome + what this episode is 02:15 “Why can’t we talk to men?” 03:15 You’re a queen, not the prize 04:00 Your Royal Love Role: servant, jester, princess 05:00 Pre-order Girl, Get Your Guy 06:15 The dictator 06:45 The princess: when a man does everything for you 08:00 The money wound and finding your own safety 09:00 Employee or co-owner? 09:45 Partnership isn’t 50/50 10:30 Why the princess fantasy doesn’t end happily 11:45 Wrap-upTake 10 seconds to tap Follow so you never miss an episode. And if this one hit home, send it to the girlfriend who needs to hear it.Take the Dating Archetype QuizWays I can help you:Pre-order my book, Girl, Get Your Guy! (launching February 2, 2027). When you pre-order, you get instant access to Anwar AI for personalized dating advice 24/7, plus monthly group calls with me where you bring your real dating situations, and I give you direct feedback.Book a call with me. I’ve been getting a LOT of DMs and emails asking to chat, so I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar.Join the Get Your Guy Club for a year of dating support at your own pace, including my weekly group calls, private Facebook group, monthly 1-on-1s, and my 40+ hour course.More from me:Missed my Q&A TikTok Lives? Catch up here!Sincerely,Coach AnwarSend us Fan MailThank you for listening, girl. If this episode helped you, here’s how you can help me (it takes less than a minute):Tap Follow on Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episodeLeave a rating or a short review. Tell me what clicked for you. I read them!Every follow and share helps more women find this podcast and get ready for the love they deserve.Sincerely,Coach Anwar

Can you want marriage and be in an open relationship?If you’ve ever been told there’s only one way to do love, or you’ve been waiting for him to lead the marriage conversation, this episode is for you. I sat down with WeezyWTF, media entrepreneur, producer, podcaster, and New York Times bestselling author, for an honest conversation about building a relationship and marriage on your own terms.We talk about how she navigates an open relationship while planning her wedding, how she handled the prenup, and what commitment means to her. We also get into when to bring up marriage, why I don’t call it an ultimatum when you say what you want, and what it takes to learn a partner’s culture when you’re dating a Nigerian man. This is the dating advice I give my clients, in a conversation that might change how you think about what a love story can look like.Timestamps:00:00 Welcome + meet Weezy03:45 Wanting marriage while in an open relationship06:00 When to talk about marriage and kids (the 6-month mark)09:30 What a first date really means: the "he didn't call me a car" ick14:00 Telling him how you feel without giving an ultimatum17:30 Women lead the engagement conversation (and the ring shopping date)23:00 Dating a Nigerian man: meeting his family and cultural traditions27:30 Pre-order Girl, Get Your Guy28:45 Compromise in a relationship31:45 The prenup conversation36:00 How they define cheating in an open marriage37:45 What commitment really means39:00 When dating feels stuck: stop centering men43:30 How a partner can support your business and career46:30 The husband test: is he your cheerleader?BIO:WeezyWTF is a media entrepreneur, producer, podcaster, and creative visionary known for turning bold ideas into businesses.A New York Times bestselling author of No Holes Barred ( adapted from her hit podcast Decisions, Decisions), Weezy has become a leading voice in conversations around sex, relationships, and wellness. She is also the host of the hit television series Sex Sells, using her platform to highlight how non-traditional businesses operate.Founder of WTF Media Studios, a multi-location podcast production company that has produced projects for thousands of companies and names including Malcolm Gladwell, Kenya Barris, Kamala Harris, Audible, and MasterClass.Her ventures extend into fitness by creating the viral “TRAPHAUS”. A boutique Pilates studio in New York City blending lifting, music, and community. Weezy continues to center her empire around bringing people together, creating meaningful conversations, and pushing culture forward.Take 10 seconds to tap Follow so you never miss an episode. And if this one hit home, send it to the girlfriend who needs to hear it.Take the Dating Archetype QuizWays I can help you:Pre-order my book, Girl, Get Your Guy! (launching February 2, 2027). When you pre-order, you get instant access to Anwar AI for personalized dating advice 24/7, plus monthly group calls with me where you bring your real dating situations, and I give you direct feedback.Book a call with me. I’ve been getting a LOT of DMs and emails asking to chat, so I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar.Join the Get Your Guy Club for a year of dating support at your own pace, including my weekly group calls, private Facebook group, monthly 1-on-1s, and my 40+ hour course.More from me:Missed my Q&A TikTok Lives? Catch up here!Sincerely,Coach AnwarSend us Fan MailThank you for listening, girl. If this episode helped you, here’s how you can help me (it takes less than a minute):Tap Follow on Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episodeLeave a rating or a short review. Tell me what clicked for you. I read them!Every follow and share helps more women find this podcast and get ready for the love they deserve.Sincerely,Coach Anwar

Do you secretly believe the best love of your life is already behind you?If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t think there’s somebody out there for me,” this episode is for you. It’s a quick 15-minute listen.I’m taking you inside a live session with my private clients to talk about your dating benchmark: the past relationship or situationship you may be unknowingly using to measure everything that comes after it. For most of us, that relationship didn’t end well. We got ghosted, left, or the engagement was called off. So our brain turns the most painful experience into our upper limit, and that quietly shapes our dating mindset, what we believe is possible, and whether we even want to try again.I break down why this happens and why it’s time to move on from that standard and choose a new one, based on how you want to feel in love instead of how it ended. You’ll also hear real benchmark stories from the women in the room, and how shifting yours can change the way you show up in your dating journey. Take 10 seconds to tap Follow so you never miss an episode. And if this one hit home, send it to the girlfriend who needs to hear it.Take the Dating Archetype QuizWays I can help you:Pre-order my book, Girl, Get Your Guy! (launching February 2, 2027). When you pre-order, you get instant access to Anwar AI for personalized dating advice 24/7, plus monthly group calls with me where you bring your real dating situations, and I give you direct feedback.Book a call with me. I’ve been getting a LOT of DMs and emails asking to chat, so I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar.Join the Get Your Guy Club for a year of dating support at your own pace, including my weekly group calls, private Facebook group, monthly 1-on-1s, and my 40+ hour course.More from me:Missed my Q&A TikTok Lives? Catch up here!Sincerely,Coach AnwarSend us Fan MailThank you for listening, girl. If this episode helped you, here’s how you can help me (it takes less than a minute):Tap Follow on Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episodeLeave a rating or a short review. Tell me what clicked for you. I read them!Every follow and share helps more women find this podcast and get ready for the love they deserve.Sincerely,Coach Anwar

What do you do when the life you imagined falls apart?If you’re healing after a traumatic breakup or a relationship where you were lied to, or you’re wondering how you ended up there, this episode is for you. I sat down with Reesa Teesa, author of What the F Do I Do Now? and the voice behind the viral 50-part series Who TF Did I Marry?, for a candid conversation about love, marriage, and what happens when your story doesn’t go the way you planned.We talk about the messages we grew up with about relationships, especially in the church, and how they can push us to stay or settle. We also talk about dating the fantasy instead of the reality, how financial stress can blind you to red flags, and how to rebuild trust after a toxic relationship. This is a conversation about love, identity, and giving yourself permission to write a different story.Timestamps:00:00 Welcome + meet Reesa Teesa01:45 Going viral: the backlash, Good Morning America, and what changed04:55 Why she wrote What the F Do I Do Now?07:15 What she was taught about love and marriage in the church13:00 Pre-order Girl, Get Your Guy14:15 How money struggles can blind you to red flags19:20 Reclaiming yourself one piece at a time: shattered vs. broken20:45 The fork in the road: bitter or healing23:00 Rebuilding trust: Reesa's trust meter23:40 Dating the potential: the fantasy from your childhood28:15 You're dating as your five-year-old self29:30 Editing your dream instead of giving it up31:35 Where to get the bookBIO:Tareasa “Reesa Teesa” Johnson, creator of the viral “Who TF Did I Marry?” series, debut memoir WHAT (TF) DO I DO NOW? is a heartfelt and faith-filled meditation and guide on how the social media star lost and regained her faith and foundation in the face of deception while forging a path forward.GET REESA'S BOOK HERE:  What (TF) Do I Do Now?Take 10 seconds to tap Follow so you never miss an episode. And if this one hit home, send it to the girlfriend who needs to hear it.Take the Dating Archetype QuizWays I can help you:Pre-order my book, Girl, Get Your Guy! (launching February 2, 2027). When you pre-order, you get instant access to Anwar AI for personalized dating advice 24/7, plus monthly group calls with me where you bring your real dating situations, and I give you direct feedback.Book a call with me. I’ve been getting a LOT of DMs and emails asking to chat, so I’ve opened up a few spots on my calendar.Join the Get Your Guy Club for a year of dating support at your own pace, including my weekly group calls, private Facebook group, monthly 1-on-1s, and my 40+ hour course.More from me:Missed my Q&A TikTok Lives? Catch up here!Sincerely,Coach AnwarSend us Fan MailThank you for listening, girl. If this episode helped you, here’s how you can help me (it takes less than a minute):Tap Follow on Apple Podcasts so you never miss an episodeLeave a rating or a short review. Tell me what clicked for you. I read them!Every follow and share helps more women find this podcast and get ready for the love they deserve.Sincerely,Coach Anwar