87. The Beauty of Letting It All Fall Apart: Why We Have To Break-Down and Crash-Out to Level Up

What if your expression: your voice, your vision, your rebellion was the most direct line to the divine? What if Art was your prayer?In this conversation with my dear friend Etai, we explore the thin veil between art and spirituality and the daily devotion of creativity and leading life with an open heart.We discuss in depth - The Artist's Way, fear, rejection, finding the right audience, living with an open heart, and returning to wholeness through expression.Etai has built an online community of over 400,000 who use his yoga videos to get closer to themselves and their truths. He's built this platform in the last year through a brave spirit of pure authenticity as he finds himself calling other parts of the globe his home and sharing his truth. May his words, voice, and presence inspire your path forward and let you live in your calling. x Etai's IGEtai's LinksEtai's first FSO episodexFSO COSTA RICA RETREAT 2026: LIMITED 10% OFF EARLY-BIRD SPOTSxSTAY CONNECTED:FSO IGJOIN THE Community! To Support the Show! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops.Free Grounding & Energy Cleansing Meditation in the FSO Together community <3Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainxfor partnerships or inquiries, please contact:[email protected]: 00:00-07:40: Discovering Oneself07:40-10:20: One Year of Solo Travel & Spiritual Unfolding Showing Up Online 10:20-14:00: The Sacred Contrast: Collectivism vs. Free Expression14:00-17:00: Showing Up Online, Yoga as a Muse, Building a Digital Devotional17:00-20:00: Living with an Open Heart & True Authentic Freedom20:00-25:00: The Artists Way + Inseparability between Art & Spirituality25:30-35:00: The Company We Keep35:00-40:55 – Yoga as Muse & Art as OfferingSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We become so busy "getting our lives together" that we forget that we've achieved some of our childhood dreams. Let this episode allow you to remember. You are right on time. This episode is an ode to LIVING and restoring your inner vision. FSO COSTA RICA RETREAT 2026: LIMITED 10% OFF EARLY-BIRD SPOTS Book 15 if you want to talk with me about the retreat or the RLT Program (a few spots left for this next round + scholarships!)Instagram DM's are open rn!! @figuringshiiitoutInsight Timer 40 Days of Transformation with DavidJixSTAY CONNECTED:JOIN THE Community! To Support the Show! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops.Free Grounding & Energy Cleansing Meditation in the FSO Together community <3Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainxfor partnerships or inquiries, please contact:[email protected]: 0:00-6:00: But, where is your joy?6:00:-8:00: Forgetting we've achieved our childhood dreams8:00-9:30: The Lower Self / Higher Self & Pendulum Swing of Shadow + Light9:30-12:00: Raising Your Baseline, Sitting with the Self in 40 days of Silent Meditation12:00-16:00: Transformation is a process that is not linear16:00-19:00: Vision without Strategy is just a To-Do List19:00-23:00: The Proverbial "mountain," Sometimes It's Easier When You're Farther Away23:00-27:00: How Would You Act If It was All Working out?27:00-30:00: When You're Ready to Change, YOU WILL30:00-37:00: Costa Rica, Artist's Way Circle37:00-43:00: Create What You Wish Existed43:00-44:00: If I'm still here I have a 100% Survival Rate!!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

no one relates to art that has all the answers - your power comes from all of the things you do not know, but have the courage to try and understand./If you <3 FSO, rate it 5 stars on your preferred streaming platform, leave a comment, and share with a friend <3Road Less Travelers Program:BOOK TIME TO CHAT ABOUT THE NEXT ROUND OF THE ROAD LESS TRAVELERS PROGRAM STARTING IN JULY! Or DM ME "invite" with your email on IG: @figuringshiiitout 2026 RETREAT ANNOUNCEMENT COMING THIS WEEK! Sign up for updates here.STAY CONNECTED:JOIN THE Community! To Support the Show! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops.Free Grounding & Energy Cleansing Meditation in the FSO Together community <3Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainStan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase to support the Show!)If you liked this episode, you may also like this one:43 - Speak Your Truth & Protect your Peace: The Energy of Alignment of Alignment & InfluenceCHAPTERS:0:00-3:00: We're Always Figuring Sh!T Out3:00-4:30: The GIFT of Imposter Syndrome & Uncertainty4:30-6:00: You are Exactly Where You're Meant to Be6:00-11:00: The Void & Gestation, The beauty of In Betweenness, Becoming11:00-14:00: You Are Already Whole14:00-18:00: What is Freedom?18:00-21:00: Seeking, Lack, & How You Know It's Time to Take a Step Back21:00-23:00: We are Not Meant to Walk this Path AloneSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

6 months ago, I got off the hamster wheel, quit my corporate job, & traveled to Bali for Yoga Teacher Training.I went through the highs and lows of choosing a yoga teacher training, learned the hard lessons of first-time solo transatlantic travel, and lived to tell the tale.In this episode, I share about everything I gathered in my journey to Bali, how I chose a Yoga Teacher Training, what YTT was like, and what I learned from doing yoga in the jungle of Ubud for 3 weeks.We cover the questions you should ask before choosing a YTT, the trade-offs of affordability and community, what it's actually like traveling to Bali, and what my experience was like at House of Om.Touching on the transformation that happens within, the cultural complexities of Bali, and the spiritual truths that emerge when you step away from the familiar, this episode is a 101 guide for anyone thinking about buying that one-way ticket.For more on the depth of my experience and to hear my journal entries and awakenings while there, watch my recent video on Youtube: Diaries of a Corporate Drop-Out.xSUPPORT THE SHOW BY LEAVING A COMMENT ON THIS EPISODE, RATING IT 5 STARS ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM, FOLLOWING, & SHARING WITH A FRIEND <3xBOOK TIME TO CHAT ABOUT THE ROAD LESS TRAVELERS PROGRAM! Or DM ME "invite" with your email on IG: @figuringshiiitout (&Follow the IG to stay tuned on official launch and for other FSO news! )2026 RETREAT ANNOUNCEMENT COMING SOON! Sign up for updates here.STAY CONNECTED:MY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)JOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops.Free Grounding & Energy Cleansing Meditation in the FSO Together community <3Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainStan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase to support the Show!)If you liked this episode, you may also like these!64 - How Trauma & Pain Are Stored in Our Body & How to Heal with Movement (Samten Kriya Episode)60 - How A Self-Discovery Journey Led me From Working In Tech to Doing YTT in Bali 59 - Taking the Leap /Resources:Choosing a YTTHouse of Om:House of Om: MelatiSamten Kriya Visitng Bali:Indonesia Visa Regulations Official Link to Apply for a Visa (Website isn't Great)Recommendations mentioned:Sanur: Nice Beach / Calm / on West CoastUbud: YTT's & Spiritual Center of BaliUluwatu: Beach/Cliftown in the South - favorite part of Bali/CHAPTERS:0:00-3:00: Introduction3:00-9:00 Why I decided on YTT & My Journey9:00-11:30: Choosing a YTT: 3 Questions to Ask Yourself11:30-13:15: Intentions13:15-16:00: Class / Group Size16:00-19:00: House of Om: Affordability & Experience19:00-20:00: Be Prepared for Emotional Catharsis22:00-24:00: Teachers & Kriya Yoga, Schedule & trade-Offs24:00-25:00: Emotional Processing25:00-27:00: Choosing a Training: Summary27:00-30:00: All About Bali30:00-34:00: Gentrification, Westernization: Paying Respect34:00-40:00: Flights, Visas, Police, Female Solo Traveling40:00-44:00: Finances & Cost, Justifying the Investment44:00-48:00: What YTT Gave MeSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

my reflections on the journey to the other side of the world seen through the eyes of my through journal entries.watch the video, told in visuals and story here: https://youtu.be/9R2bAm2ds_4for this week, here is my heart.NEXT WEEK, there is an episode all about the actual logistics of YTT and I give you my comprehensive guide to navigating choosing a yoga teacher training and going to Bali.xBe sure to FOLLOW the podcast to stay up to date <3SUPPORT THE SHOW BY LEAVING A COMMENT ON THIS EPISODE, RATING IT 5 STARS ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM, FOLLOWING, & SHARING WITH A FRIEND <3xStay Connected:BOOK TIME TO CHAT ABOUT THE ROAD LESS TRAVELERS PROGRAM! (All about HOW to do this type of thing)Or DM ME "invite" with your email on:IG: @figuringshiiitout (&Follow the IG to stay tuned on official launch and for other FSO news! )2026 RETREAT ANNOUNCEMENT COMING SOON! Sign up for updates here.STAY CONNECTED:MY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)JOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops.Free Grounding & Energy Cleansing Meditation in the FSO Together community <3Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainStan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase to support the Show!)xIf you liked this episode, you may also like these!64 - How Trauma & Pain Are Stored in Our Body & How to Heal with Movement (Samten Kriya Episode)60 - How A Self-Discovery Journey Led me From Working In Tech to Doing YTT in Bali 59 - Taking the LeapSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Walk with me through six truths to remember and come home to when life feels impossibly heavy.From the murky edges of uncertainty to the quiet wisdom of who we choose to surround ourselves with, this episode is a gentle guide for the tender, relentless act of becoming.In this episode, I speak to the ache of transitions and the courage of leaning into what’s alive: movement as medicine, community as a balm, the exquisite alchemy of falling apart and piecing ourselves back together, and deepening into the beautiful, magical, unknowing, unfurling process of Figuring Sh!t Out!! (something we will ALWAYS BE DOING in case u forgot.)We are in this TOGETHERxSUPPORT THE SHOW BY LEAVING A COMMENT ON THIS EPISODE, RATING IT 5 STARS ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM, FOLLOWING, & SHARING WITH A FRIEND <3xBOOK TIME (ONE-TIME ONLY!) TO CHAT ABOUT THE ROAD LESS TRAVELERS PROGRAM! Or DM ME "invite" with your email on IG: @figuringshiiitout (&Follow the IG to stay tuned on official launch and for other FSO news! )2026 RETREAT ANNOUNCEMENT COMING SOON! Sign up for updates here.MY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)xSTAY CONNECTED:SubstackJOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops.Free Grounding & Energy Cleansing Meditation in the FSO Together community <3Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainStan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase to support the Show!)xIf you liked this episode, you'll like this one too! Episode 77: Stop Intellectualizing & Overanalyzing + Start LivingCHAPTERS:0:00-9:00: Life Update / Moving in NYC / Figuring Sh!t Out in Real Time9:00-13:00: Uncertainty is an OPPORTUNITY!! The Great Big Void.13:00-19:00: MOVE that sh!t out19:00-23:00: Let Love In23:00-30:00: Let it Go30:00-33:00: Life is a Mess! But it's YOUR beautiful Mess!33:00-40:00: The One Resonant TruthSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Patience is a virtue for a reason: it allows the space to be curious. And in curiosity --life is explored, paths are formed, and the beautiful glimmers that make life worth living are found.In this episode: trust, timing, resistance, and the real work of staying in it. We talk about letting go of the timeline, releasing the force of outcomes (unfurling the clenched hand of control, if you will) and listening to what wants to emerge.To be curious! Is to be alive! To be alive! Is to Walk the path of the unknown and let it remind you not of where you're aiming to go but of WHO! YOU! ARE! If you are struggling to know what is next, to sit in the in-between, or to simply allow life to unravel as it should and as it does -- May you breathe deep while listening to these words and find some solace in them.xSUPPORT THE SHOW BY LEAVING A COMMENT ON THIS EPISODE, RATING IT 5 STARS ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM, FOLLOWING, & SHARING WITH A FRIEND <3xBOOK TIME (ONE-TIME ONLY!) TO CHAT ABOUT THE ROAD LESS TRAVELERS PROGRAM! Or DM ME "invite" with your email on IG: @figuringshiiitout (&Follow the IG to stay tuned on official launch and for other FSO news! )2026 RETREAT ANNOUNCEMENT COMING SOON! Sign up for updates here.MY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)xSTAY CONNECTED:SubstackJOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops.Free Grounding & Energy Cleansing Meditation in the FSO Together community <3Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainStan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase to support the Show!)xIf you liked this episode, you'll like this one too! Episode 78. You are Right on TimeCHAPTERS: 0:00-3:00: What if it's already yours?3:00-8:00: Pressure, Survival, the Myth of "How" 8:00-11:00: Patience is a Virtue 11:00-23:00: In the Pause, a Portal 23:00-31:56: The Gift of Curiosity!!! Showing up Online & The Journey of Being Seen31:56-40:00: What would you rather believe? Are You Willing to wait for it?40:00-43:00: In the In-Between?See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

If it feels like it is all falling apart, maybe it is. But maybe - it has to so that a new way can emerge.In this short episode, I dive into a core pillar of Figuring Sh!t Out: Feeling like you don't have Sh!t figured out (followed by a subsequent, sometimes immediate, existential crisis and break-down that makes you feel a little chaotic.)I talk to you about the power of letting yourself feel, fall apart, and the clarity that can emerge from surrendering to the crash-out.Consider this episode your guide and your companion when you need a little help through to the other side. Because sometimes --The only way out is through.xSUPPORT THE SHOW BY LEAVING A COMMENT ON THIS EPISODE, RATING IT 5 STARS ON YOUR PREFERRED STREAMING PLATFORM, FOLLOWING, & SHARING WITH A FRIEND <3 xROAD LESS TRAVELERS 5-WEEK PROGRAM ROUND 2 STARTS IN JUNE: DM ME "invite" with your email on IG: @figuringshiiitout (&Follow the IG!) TICKETS TO MY IN-PERSON MEDITATION & JOURNALING WORKSHOP IN NYC SATURDAY 5/24 2026 RETREAT W/ ME & FSO PEEPS: FILL OUT THIS SURVEY & LET ME KNOW WHERE YOU'D WANT TO GO / WHAT YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN!xSTAY CONNECTED:JOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops.Free Grounding & Energy Cleansing Meditation in the FSO Together community <3Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainMY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)Stan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase to support the Show!)xIf you liked this episode, you'll like this one too! 47. Stop Playing it Small & Start Flirting with LifexCHAPTERS: 0:00-3:30: Why Rock Bottom is a Beautiful Place to Be 3:30-6:06: Expansion Happens When We Go Beyond Limit6:06-8:00: Control is a False God: Admitting & Surrendering will Set you Free8:00-14:00: The Beauty of Letting Yourself Fall Apart14:00-16:00: What NOT to Do During a Break Down16:00-18:00: Dopamine Detoxing 18:00-23:00: You are A Phoenix Rising from the AshesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Today, I sit down with one of the most inspiring and grounded women I've had the chance to speak to - the type of woman every coming-of-age gal needs in their life: soul-connected, supportive, and resilient in mind, body, and spirit.Today, (in honor of Mother's Day), we welcome Stacey Garcia - Integrative Health Coach, podcast host, mom, and breast cancer survivor.Stacey shares her powerful story of receiving a cancer diagnosis during what should’ve been her healthiest year, and how that moment cracked her open to a deeper way of living and listening.We talk about what it means to truly heal — not just through treatment protocols, but through energy work, ritual, community, and self-trust.On this episode, we talk about her journey to becoming a Reiki Master, the emotional toll of chronic stress, and the missing links in modern wellness culture.This episode captures one of the most honest and soul-opening conversations I've had on this show - and I am SO excited to share it with you.This is a conversation about intuition, courage, softness, asking better questions, and the radical act of self-advocacy in medical treatment - it's not just about health, but about who we are when everything else falls away.Stacey’s story is a reminder that healing isn’t about doing more — it’s about remembering your power, and allowing your body to speak.xStacey's Links:Instagram Never Miss a Monday PodcastListen to Our Episode on NMMxIF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN A 2026 RETREAT WITH ME & OTHER FSO PEEPS NEXT YEAR, FILL OUT THIS SURVEY BELOW & LET ME KNOW WHERE YOU'D WANT TO GO / WHAT YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN!Fill me Out!Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout - DM Me "Invite" with your email to learn more about The Road Less Travelers 4 week Course or 1:1 work! (Cohort 2 Begins 5/19)JOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops.Free Grounding & Energy Cleansing Meditation in the FSO Together community <3STAY CONNECTED:Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainMY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)Stan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase to support the Show!)xIf you liked this episode, you'll like this one: 41. The Mind-Body Connection, Emotional Regulation, Physical Well-Being, & Somatic HealingxCHAPTERS:0:00-4:00: Introduction 4:00-7:30: Stacey's Background in Nutrition, Integrative Health, Body & Energy Work 7:30-12:15: Surviving Cancer & Leaning into Holistic Wellness12:15-16:00: The Medical System is designed to "Heal Sickness" not "Create Wellness"16:30-21:30: Understanding Reiki, Energy Centers, Aura, & Energy Healing 21:30-29:00: Exploring Subtle Energy, Grounding, & Balancing Energy Centers29:00-32:00: Big Pharma & Exploring Alternative Healing 32:00-36:00: Mindset in Healing; The Words of Life and Death are in the Tongue36:00-40:00: The Role of your Village & Community in Healing40:00-44:00: What advice do you have for us to proactively and preventatively improve our lifestyle & mindset?44:00-47:00: What advice would you give to women who are struggling with body image?47-50:00: "Letting Them"50-55:00: LIVE YOUR LIFE! DO THE THING! YOU ONLY HAVE ONE!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

There is no greater force more powerful than the quiet, silent, nearly imperceptible whisper of your gut. This knowing, this sensation, this whisper - it urges you subtly and softly with the faint voice of: "yes." "no." "this way" "that way" "do this thing" "don't do that thing," and the more adept we are at listening to it -The easier our alignment is to find, the more at peace we feel, the more in our power we are, and the safer we are.Before we know something with evidence, we are told with a delicate nudge -- because intuition whispers long before it screams.Our intuition is our greatest source of inner truth, but we are de-conditioned out of listening to it and trusting it in many ways: A world of noise and overstimulation, chattering voices that slip into our heads and take us away from our bodies and sovereignty, a conditioning to people-please and make everyone happy, and far too many "benefit-of-the-doubts" given where silent trust should've sat."I'm being crazy," we tell ourselves -- talking back to a voice that is beyond our time and space, that is an ancient and evolutionary skill that kept our ancestors alive long enough to lengthen our lineages.We talk over this voice - a voice so strong, it has joined the family of our senses and been called the sixth.If the world is far more than the physical matter we can see with spectrums of light, time, and space that are unavailable to us simply because we cannot perceive them with the naked eye, then this voice that does not speak words yet eludes a knowing from our bones should be consulted with and trusted far more often than it is.This episode is meant to help you reconnect with it and deepen your intuition.It is meant to guide you to that gut knowing, reunite you with your inner voice, and allow you the inner power to know -- that most of the time...You already know. You already have your answers.You just have to clear the space to hear to them.In this episode, we discuss:what intuition is in relation to time, space, and other dimensionshigher realms + consulting with / hearing the divinehow felt sensation can be a guiding post for ushow intuition is different than inner judgement, fear, and imagination + why and how we are conditioned out of ithow outside influences & certain people can deter you from your intuition and the beauty of being connected to your own sovereigntyhow to get back in touch with your inner voice, with prescriptions from Julia Cameron's follow-up to The Artist's Way "Living the Artist's Way - an Intuitive Path to Greater Creativity,"If this episode resonates with you, leave a comment & let me know & consider sharing it with a friend! & if you really love Figuring Sh!t Out, rate the podcast 5 stars on your preferred streaming platform ♡----IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN A 2026 RETREAT WITH ME & OTHER FSO PEEPS NEXT YEAR, FILL OUT THIS SURVEY BELOW & LET ME KNOW WHERE YOU'D WANT TO GO / WHAT YOU'D BE INTERESTED IN!Fill me Out! Podcast Instagram: @figuringshiiitout - DM Me "Invite" with your email to learn more about The Road Less Travelers 4 week Course or 1:1 work! (Cohort 2 Begins 5/19)JOIN THE Community! For Bonus Meditations, Episodes, & Discounted/Free Access to Workshops.Free Grounding & Energy Cleansing Meditation in the FSO Together community <3STAY CONNECTED:Personal Instagram: @vanessaafontanaTikTok: butterflyfountainMY NEWSLETTER (scroll to the end of the page to join!)Stan-Store (With Workshop Playbacks + Resources for Purchase being added as we speak!)xIf you liked this episode, you'll like this one: 26. Intuition vs. Anxiety: Building Trust With Yourself by Learning to Listen to your Inner Wisdom CHAPTERS:0:00-4:00: Introduction4:00-8:16: Gratitude + ANNOUNCEMENT <3 8:16-14:40: Intuition, Different Dimensions, & A Force Felt but not Seen14:40-17:10: Your Gut is Always Right (& It usually proves itself right) 17:10-22:09: Alignment: Intuition is not Personal22:09-27:00: Intuition vs Inner Judgement & Ways we Talk ourselves Out of our Intuition27:00-31:45: Sensing: Intuitive Movement & Writing31:45-34:00: A Short Practice to Get the Answer You Need34:00-38:00: How my Intuition Led me to Leave my Job at the Right Time38:00-44:25: Intuition vs Imagination, Higher Realms & Forces, & The Artist's Way44:25-49:39: Practices: Writing for Guidance, Intuition Walks49:39-52:39: Hearing your Own Voice & Digital Detoxing52:39-56:32: Individuality > Trends, Imitation, Following Others56:32-1:00:00: Trust your Damn GutSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.