Love Is Not Found. It Is Built. | 10 Jewish Relationship Truths for Tu B’Av

Our culture often treats aging as something to resist. Judaism sees it differently: years are not merely something that happen to us; they can become a source of wisdom, purpose, and depth. Drawing on the mitzvah of shiluach hakein in Parshat Ki Teitzei, the Torah’s promise of long life, the mitzvah of honoring parents, and the Rebbe’s teachings about aging, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath explores what it really means to “lengthen our days.”As Elul invites us to look back over another year, the deeper question is not simply, “How much older did I become?” but “How much deeper did I become?”Through the moving example of Brahm and Ilana Shiller, the sermon becomes a meditation on courage, resilience, love, and living fully even when life does not unfold as we would choose. Perhaps a long life is measured not only by how many days we receive, but by how much life we put into each day.Key PointsJudaism does not see aging as decline. Long life is a blessing, and lived experience itself carries dignity and holiness.You can retire from a career, but never from purpose. As our stage of life changes, our mission may change with it, but our ability to matter does not disappear.Ki Teitzei teaches us not to exploit devotion. Both shiluach hakein and honoring parents remind us to recognize and honor those whose love causes them to keep giving.Elul is not merely about another year passing. Growing older happens automatically. Growing deeper requires choice.Difficulty can reveal character. Real positivity is not denying pain; it is being able to say, “This is hard, and I am still going to live today.”Courage also belongs to the person standing beside the struggle. Caregivers and spouses carry their own quiet burden of love, worry, strength, and hope.Arichut yamim, long life, can also mean full days. A day filled with love, laughter, generosity, presence, and an open heart contains an extraordinary amount of life.The Elul question: We cannot always choose what happens to us, but we participate in choosing who we become within what happens.#ParshatKiTeitzei #KiTeitzei #Judaism #Jewish #Torah #Bible #BibleStudy #Elul #chabad #Rabbi #JewishWisdom #AgingWithPurpose #LongLife #purpose #resilience #Courage #ShiluachHakein #chassidus #therebbe #LivingFully #gratitude #JewishInspiration #RabbiBernath Rabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhVSupport the showGot your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at [email protected] or http://www.theloverabbi.comSingle? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donateFollow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernathAccess Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

Tu B’Av is often called the Jewish day of love. In this special Tu B’Av discussion, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath, known as the “Love Rabbi” shares ten essential Jewish relationship principles for singles, couples, and anyone seeking to build deeper, healthier love.Drawing from Torah, Jewish wisdom, matchmaking experience, and years of counselling singles and couples, Rabbi Bernath explores why dating is not a performance, why chemistry must never outrun character, how to distinguish genuine needs from unrealistic checklists, and why love is not simply something we find, it is something we build.This class offers practical guidance for dating with clarity, choosing with wisdom, communicating honestly, repairing conflict, and creating a relationship rooted in generosity, commitment, faith, and emotional responsibility.10 Jewish Relationship TruthsKnow Who You Are Before Asking Someone Else to Join YouDon’t Become Good at Dating—Become Good at RelatingStop Auditioning for LoveDon’t Let Chemistry Outrun CharacterTalk About What Matters Before the WeddingLook for Your Complement, Not Your CloneKnow Your Essentials, but Don’t Worship Your ChecklistLove Grows Through Giving, but Giving Is Not Self-ErasureLove Is Not Tit for TatDon’t Date the Relationship to DeathRabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhVSupport the showGot your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at [email protected] or http://www.theloverabbi.comSingle? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donateFollow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernathAccess Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

Support the raffle at www.ndgraffle.com.In this special episode, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath opens his heart to the worldwide community that has grown around the podcast.The podcast is more than a weekly teaching. It is part of the larger mission of Chabad NDG: creating spaces of belonging, supporting students and families, helping people through crisis, and bringing Torah, healing, hope, and Jewish wisdom into everyday life.With the annual Chabad NDG raffle now 80% of the way toward its goal, Rabbi Bernath invites listeners to become active partners in sustaining this work. Every raffle ticket helps keep the doors open, in Montreal, online, and in the hearts of people around the world.As a special gift, supporters will also receive access to the new Kabbalah for Everyone platform, featuring audio and video courses, practical spiritual tools, deeper teachings, and a growing community of people committed to learning and growth.Support the raffle at www.ndgraffle.com.Support the showGot your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at [email protected] or http://www.theloverabbi.comSingle? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donateFollow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernathAccess Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

In this special class in honour of his birthday, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath explores one of the most misunderstood human traits: sensitivity. While the world often tells us to toughen up and grow thicker skin, Chassidus teaches that the goal is not to suppress our emotions but to refine them. Drawing from Tanya, Torah Or, Likkutei Torah, and the teachings of the Rebbeim, Rabbi Bernath explains that some souls are created to feel more deeply because they are called to illuminate more deeply. Participants discover the difference between being emotionally controlled and spiritually refined, learn why criticism, overwhelm, and empathy affect certain people so intensely, and gain practical Chassidic tools for transforming emotional vulnerability into inner strength, purpose, and closeness to G-d.Key PointsWhy some people are born with “thinner skin and deeper souls.” The world’s advice: harden yourself. Kabbalah advice: refine yourself. The exposed nekudas halev (point of the heart) and the spiritual gift of deep feeling.The soul’s descent into the world as a mission of refinement, not self-protection.The difference between iskafya (self-mastery) and ishapcha (inner transformation).Why feeling overwhelmed does not mean you are failing spiritually.Learning to distinguish between the voice of fear and the voice of the soul.Healthy boundaries without losing compassion.Transforming criticism, rejection, and emotional pain into spiritual growth.How sensitive people can become extraordinary sources of healing, empathy, leadership, and light.Practical daily Chassidic exercises for emotional resilience and refinement.A birthday reflection on gratitude for the unique mission of every soul.#Kabbalah #Sensitivity #SensitiveSouls #chassidus #Tanya #Rabbiyisroelbernath #JewishWisdom #EmotionalHealth #spiritualgrowth #InnerHealing #Refinement #Iskafya #Ishapcha #NekudasHalev #soul #emotionalresilience #MentalWellness #purpose #SelfMastery #HeartOpen #BirthdayClass #personalgrowth #chabad #Transformation #DeepSouls Rabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhVSupport the showGot your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at [email protected] or http://www.theloverabbi.comSingle? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donateFollow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernathAccess Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

In this eye-opening session, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath explores one of the most profound and misunderstood topics of all time: What is G-d? Moving beyond simplistic childhood images of a supernatural sky-being, we delve into Jewish, Chassidic, philosophical, and even scientific perspectives on the Divine. Drawing from thinkers like Einstein and the Alter Rebbe, this class gently unpacks a paradoxical truth: G-d is not less than personal, but also infinitely more than any person. Whether you’re a believer, skeptic, or somewhere in between, this is a class that will stretch your mind and open your heart.Takeaways:Not All “G-ds" Are the SameThe God that many reject may not be the G-d Torah and Kabbalah actually describe.Beyond Supernatural vs. NaturalJudaism sees G-d not as a supernatural being outside nature, but as the source and essence of all existence, both within and beyond nature.Personal and InfiniteG-d is not a person, but also not less than personal. The Divine is both the cosmic Author and the intimate Listener.Language & Metaphor MatterThe Torah uses varied metaphors to relate to G-d, each revealing a facet, none capturing the whole.G-d Is Experienced, Not Just ExplainedYou may not "prove" G-d like a theorem—but you can encounter G-d in awe, in kindness, in Torah, and in the quiet moments of the soul.#God #theology #thegodquestion #chassidus #Kabbalah #chabad #Spinoza #einstein #jewishphilosophy #Faith #personalgod #infinite #soul Support the showGot your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at [email protected] or http://www.theloverabbi.comSingle? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donateFollow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernathAccess Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

In this heart-open, mind-stretching class, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath dives headfirst into one of the most profound questions ever asked: Who wrote the Torah and what do we mean by G-d? Sparked by a challenge from Ilana, a thoughtful soul who just "won the raffle" and then handed Rabbi Bernath some of the hardest theological questions he's faced, this class isn't a debate, it’s a bridge. Drawing from Torah, Talmud, Rambam, Tanya, Harari, Einstein, Spinoza, and Chassidic mystics, we explore traditional belief, academic scholarship, and the honest soul-searching that sits between them.Is the Torah a divine blueprint or a human masterpiece? Or… could it be both?Together, we walk a path between Sinai and the seminar room, from ancient revelation to modern doubt and discover that sometimes, the questions themselves are the invitation to a deeper relationship with truth.Key Takeaways:Traditional Belief Holds Depth: Torah mi-Sinai means Moses recorded divine revelation over 40 years. It's not simplistic, it’s layered and deeply rooted in Jewish collective memory.Modern Scholarship Brings Honest Challenges: Thinkers like Harari argue that the Torah was assembled over centuries, reflecting political and social needs. These critiques must be addressed, not ignored.Kabbalah and Chassidus Provide a Bridge: Divine revelation doesn’t exclude human expression. The Torah flowed through Moses’ voice and personality, G-d worked with human vessels.Assumptions Shape Interpretation: Believers and skeptics alike interpret the same data through different axioms. Acknowledging this fosters respectful dialogue rather than defensiveness.The Torah’s Endurance Is Itself a Testament: Its moral vision, power to unite, and enduring relevance across time and culture hint at something more than human genius, it points toward the Divine.This Is Not About “Winning” an Argument: It’s about honesty, humility, and the courage to explore big questions together.The Torah Is a Living Document: Beyond history or philosophy, Torah continues to speak—not just inform, but transform. That may be its greatest proof of all.#Torah #God #Judaism #sinai #Moses #Divinerevelation #Documentaryhypothesis #YuvalNoahHarari #Kabbalah #Jewishtradition #BiblicalCrticism #Tanya #Spinoza #chassidus #Faith #theology Support the showGot your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at [email protected] or http://www.theloverabbi.comSingle? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donateFollow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernathAccess Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

This Shabbat  Parshat Beha’alotecha, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath was a Scholar-In-Residence at Beth Tikvah in DDO, Quebec, here is a recording for him preparing his Shabbat morning sermon. Rabbi Yisroel Bernath connects two contemporary images: the debate over displaying the Ten Commandments in American classrooms and the haunting “blank Tanach” campaign in Israel. Both raise a deeper question: Is Torah something displayed on walls, or something written into our lives?The sermon then turns to the mysterious two verses of “Vayehi binso’a ha’aron”, surrounded by inverted nuns and described by the Talmud as a “book” of its own. These verses appear at the turning point of Sefer Bamidbar: before them, the Jewish people are guided by faith, order, and Divine protection; after them come complaints, confusion, and crisis.Rabbi Bernath’s message is clear and urgent: when the Jewish people enter the wilderness, whether physical, emotional, spiritual, or historical, we need two things: the Ark and each other. Torah gives us direction. Jewish unity gives Hashem a place to rest. The blank pages of Jewish life are filled not by slogans or outrage, but by Torah, Shabbos tables, questions, conversations, and a renewed commitment to live as Jews with purpose.Key Takeaways1. Torah is not just our history; it is our family story: The greatest danger is not only that Jews may not know a verse. It is that they may not know the verse is about them.2. The “blank Tanach” is not only an Israeli education problem: Sometimes the Tanach is on our shelf, but not in our conversation. Sometimes Jewish identity awakens in crisis, but Torah must teach us how to live in quiet times too.3. Beha’alotecha teaches us what to carry into the wilderness: The verses of Vayehi binso’a come exactly when the story shifts from hope to complaint. The Torah gives us a small “book” for hard chapters.4. We need both Torah and unity: When we travel, the Ark travels with us. When we rest, Hashem rests among the tens of thousands of Israel. Torah gives us direction; unity gives Hashem a home.5. Judaism cannot remain a poster on the wall: A Ten Commandments poster can be powerful, but Torah written into a life changes the world.6. October 7 reminded us we are connected by fate. Torah reminds us we are connected by purpose: Fate says, “They hate us together.” Purpose says, “We are here to bring light together.”#ParshatBehaalotecha #Behaalotecha #Rabbiyisroelbernath #BethTikvahDDO #DDOQuebec #BlankTanach #Judaism #Jewish #Torah #Bible #BibleStudy #jewishunity #JewishIdentity #TorahAndPurpose #ShabbatSermon #jewisheducation #AmYisraelChai Rabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhVSupport the showGot your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at [email protected] or http://www.theloverabbi.comSingle? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donateFollow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernathAccess Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

Tonight at Congregation TBDJ in Montreal, Rabbi Zolly Claman invited Rabbi Yisroel Bernath to share a unique talk as part of his series on the Characters from the Torah. Rabbi Bernath explored the life of King David through the lens of The Forgiveness Experiment, asking what it really means to forgive without becoming naïve, passive, or unsafe. Moving from Cain and Abel, Isaac and Ishmael, Jacob and Esau, and Joseph and his brothers, the class showed how Tanach slowly develops a deeper language of forgiveness, from failed repair, to fragile reconciliation, to Joseph’s powerful refusal to let his brothers define his life story.The heart of the class focused on David HaMelech: David sparing Shaul, absorbing Shimei’s public curses, grieving Avshalom, and ultimately becoming not only the one who forgives, but the one who must ask for forgiveness. Through David, we saw that forgiveness is not weakness. It is spiritual strength. It is the courage to release resentment without erasing truth, to hold boundaries without becoming bitter, and to stop giving someone else the pen to your story.Key Takeaways-Forgiveness is not pretending the wound never happened; it is deciding that the wound will not become the author of your life.-Joseph teaches us that people may intend harm, but they do not get to define the meaning of our story.-David teaches us that true greatness is measured not only by how we act on the throne, but how we respond when we are humiliated, attacked, and vulnerable.-Forgiveness and boundaries can coexist. David spares Shaul, but he does not move back into the palace.-Shimei represents the person who attacks when we are already bleeding — and David’s response teaches us the discipline of not letting resentment turn us into someone we do not want to become.-Divine forgiveness does not erase consequences. David’s teshuvah after Bat Sheva is real, but the story still carries responsibility and repair.-The House of David is not built by perfect people. It is built by people who fall, return, forgive, ask forgiveness, and keep choosing life.Rabbi Bernath’s New Book: The Forgiveness Experiment is Now #1 Best Seller on Amazon! Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6Audiobook: https://www.audible.com/pd/B0GMS5DCKH/?source_code=AUDFPWS0223189MWT-BK-ACX0-495504&ref=acx_bty_BK_ACX0_495504_rh_us#HouseOfDavid  #theforgivenessexperiment #Rabbiyisroelbernath #KingDavid #DavidHaMelech #Forgiveness #Teshuvah #JewishWisdom #Tanach #BiblicalPersonalities #JosephAndHisBrothers #Shimei #Avshalom #ShaulHaMelech #EmotionalHealing #spiritualgrowth #lettinggo #BoundariesAndForgiveness #JewishLearning #TBDJ #MontrealJewishCommunity #HeartOpenJudaism Join this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCi5mua4-gkhiv7NdbJv_C7w/joinRabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhVSupport the showGot your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at [email protected] or http://www.theloverabbi.comSingle? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donateFollow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernathAccess Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

Why do we read the story of Ruth on Shavuot? Beneath the surface of this beautiful Megillah lies one of the most dramatic stories in all of Tanach, famine, exile, conversion, controversy, loss, courage, and the hidden birth of redemption.In this class, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath explores the deeper story behind Ruth, Naomi, and Boaz through Midrash, Talmud, Zohar, and Kabbalah. Together we’ll uncover the shocking halachic debate surrounding Ruth’s conversion, the spiritual meaning behind her loyalty, and the extraordinary chain of Divine Providence that ultimately gave birth to King David and Moshiach. This is a story about what happens when life appears to fall apart… only to reveal a deeper plan unfolding underneath it all.Key Points: • Why Elimelech abandoned the Jewish people during the famine and the consequences that followed • Ruth’s radical choice to embrace Judaism despite uncertainty and rejection • The deeper meaning of “Where you go, I will go” according to the Talmud • Boaz, Ruth, and the hidden hand of Divine Providence • The controversial halachic debate: Could Ruth even marry into the Jewish people? • Why King David’s lineage was questioned generations later • The spiritual lesson of apparent failure, loss, and hidden redemption • How the story of Ruth became the blueprint for MoshiachRabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhVSupport the showGot your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at [email protected] or http://www.theloverabbi.comSingle? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donateFollow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernathAccess Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi

As we arrive at the final week of Sefirat HaOmer, Rabbi Yisroel Bernath explores the profound and deeply practical world of Malchut, the sefirah of sovereignty, presence, dignity, and embodiment. In Chassidic thought, Malchut is not about domination or ego-driven power, but about becoming a grounded vessel for truth, connection, and Divine presence. Through powerful analogies, relatable stories, and authentic Kabbalistic teachings, this class explores what it means to lead without controlling, to receive without shame, and to stand in your worth without needing to prove yourself. Malchut is where spirituality stops being theoretical and finally becomes lived reality.Key Points:Malchut as “sovereignty through humility,” not control or dominationWhy true leadership creates space instead of demanding attentionThe paradox of Malchut: having nothing of its own, yet revealing everythingThe symbolism of the moon, the sea, and the womb in Chassidic teachingsHow listening, receptivity, and emotional presence create deeper relationshipsThe difference between grounded confidence and ego-driven authorityWhy many people struggle more with receiving than givingShabbat and Malchut: learning to stop striving and simply dwellHow to embody dignity without needing external validationTurning everyday moments into vessels for the Shechinah, the Divine Presence#Judaism #Kabbalah #Malchut  #SefiratHaOmer #chassidus  #JewishWisdom #presence  #Leadership  #humility  #spiritualgrowth  #Authenticity  #DivinePresence  #Shechinah  #EmotionalGrowth  #SelfWorth  #Relationships #Mindfulness  #personalgrowth  #Shabbat  #InnerWork Rabbi Yisroel Bernath's New Book The Forgiveness Experiment is Available now:Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/Forgiveness-Experiment-What-Would-Your/dp/1069217638Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FR2QNJL6Audiobook: https://bit.ly/4tPFZhVSupport the showGot your own question for Rabbi Bernath? He can be reached at [email protected] or http://www.theloverabbi.comSingle? You can make a profile on www.JMontreal.com and Rabbi Bernath will help you find that special someone.Donate and support Rabbi Bernath’s work http://www.jewishndg.com/donateFollow Rabbi Bernath’s YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/user/ybernathAccess Rabbi Bernath's Articles on Relationships https://medium.com/@loverabbi