140. Finding Calm in the Counselor Chaos

Episode 140: Finding Calm in the Counselor ChaosDecember brings a special kind of school chaos. Schedules shift. Energy skyrockets. Teachers and students feel stretched. And counselors often find themselves trying to hold it all together.In this episode, I am sharing simple ways to stay grounded, centered, and calm during one of the busiest months of the school year.In This Episode You’ll Learn:• Common early signs of counselor burnout • Why noticing burnout is an act of wisdom, not weakness • Easy micro practices that take 30 seconds to 2 minutes • A guided one-minute breathing reset you can use anytime • How to let go of perfection and choose simplicity • Ways to weave calm moments into your day without adding tasksQuote From the Episode"You are doing enough. You are enough, and you are allowed to rest."Encouragement for the WeekDecember may be busy, but you do not have to absorb all the chaos around you. Take a pause, take a breath, and give yourself permission to rest. You are doing more good than you know.Grab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcastJoin Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months!Connect with Carol:TpT StoreCounseling Essentials WebsiteInstagramFacebookElementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook GroupCaught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook GroupHigh School Counselor Connection Facebook GroupMentioned in this episode:Perks Membership

December can feel like a whirlwind in schools, which makes it the perfect time to slow down and center students in one of the most grounding SEL themes we have: gratitude.In this episode, I am sharing simple, meaningful ways to introduce gratitude to students of all ages, plus ideas for weaving it into your counseling program throughout the whole month.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:• Why gratitude boosts mood, relationships, and academic outcomes • How gratitude connects to all five CASEL competencies • How I use the book Last Stop on Market Street to introduce perspective and meaning • Reflection questions that help deepen student understanding • My daily Witness Moment practice and how students can create gratitude snapshots • A gratitude acorn activity that helps younger students understand growth • A powerful gratitude cross the line lesson for older students • Schoolwide ideas: gratitude walls, gratitude grams, morning announcements • How to track simple Tier 1 data when implementing gratitude centered lessonsQuote From the Episode"It can start off tiny, just like an acorn, but gratitude has a way of growing into something great."Encouragement for the WeekAs we close out the year, gratitude becomes a beautiful reminder of why we do this work. Whether it is an acorn on the wall, a hallway display, or a quiet moment in your office, I hope you always find ways to grow gratitude in your school this season.Resources Mentioned:Last Stop On Market StreetGrab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcastJoin Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months!Connect with Carol:TpT StoreCounseling Essentials WebsiteInstagramFacebookElementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook GroupCaught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook GroupHigh School Counselor Connection Facebook GroupMentioned in this episode:Perks Membership

Right&nbsp;before&nbsp;Thanksgiving,&nbsp;in&nbsp;the&nbsp;middle&nbsp;of&nbsp;progress&nbsp;reports,&nbsp;last-minute&nbsp;meetings,&nbsp;and&nbsp;all&nbsp;the&nbsp;pumpkin&nbsp;spice&nbsp;in&nbsp;the&nbsp;world,&nbsp;it&nbsp;can&nbsp;be&nbsp;easy&nbsp;to&nbsp;miss&nbsp;the&nbsp;small&nbsp;moments&nbsp;that&nbsp;actually&nbsp;fuel&nbsp;us.This&nbsp;episode&nbsp;is&nbsp;a&nbsp;gentle&nbsp;pause.&nbsp;A&nbsp;breath.&nbsp;A&nbsp;circle&nbsp;of&nbsp;gratitude&nbsp;created&nbsp;for&nbsp;you.I&nbsp;asked&nbsp;counselors&nbsp;in&nbsp;my&nbsp;Facebook&nbsp;groups&nbsp;what&nbsp;they&nbsp;are&nbsp;most&nbsp;grateful&nbsp;for,&nbsp;and&nbsp;their&nbsp;answers&nbsp;were&nbsp;pure&nbsp;joy,&nbsp;connection,&nbsp;and&nbsp;heart.&nbsp;Today&nbsp;I&nbsp;am&nbsp;sharing&nbsp;their&nbsp;stories,&nbsp;along&nbsp;with&nbsp;a&nbsp;few&nbsp;of&nbsp;my&nbsp;own,&nbsp;as&nbsp;a&nbsp;reminder&nbsp;that&nbsp;even&nbsp;in&nbsp;the&nbsp;chaos,&nbsp;the&nbsp;work&nbsp;you&nbsp;do&nbsp;every&nbsp;day&nbsp;truly&nbsp;matters.✨&nbsp;What&nbsp;You&nbsp;Will&nbsp;Hear&nbsp;in&nbsp;This&nbsp;Episode:Why&nbsp;the&nbsp;weeks&nbsp;before&nbsp;Thanksgiving&nbsp;feel&nbsp;especially&nbsp;heavyThe&nbsp;power&nbsp;of&nbsp;stopping&nbsp;to&nbsp;notice&nbsp;the&nbsp;goodA&nbsp;collective&nbsp;gratitude&nbsp;circle&nbsp;filled&nbsp;with&nbsp;counselor&nbsp;shared&nbsp;momentsStudents&nbsp;choosing&nbsp;time&nbsp;with&nbsp;their&nbsp;counselor&nbsp;as&nbsp;their&nbsp;rewardKids&nbsp;using&nbsp;calm&nbsp;down&nbsp;strategies&nbsp;and&nbsp;repeating&nbsp;your&nbsp;words&nbsp;back&nbsp;to&nbsp;youWhen&nbsp;a&nbsp;student&nbsp;calls&nbsp;you&nbsp;their&nbsp;trusted&nbsp;adultWhy&nbsp;small&nbsp;wins&nbsp;often&nbsp;matter&nbsp;the&nbsp;mostReal&nbsp;stories&nbsp;of&nbsp;connection&nbsp;from&nbsp;counselors&nbsp;across&nbsp;the&nbsp;countryA&nbsp;quick&nbsp;30&nbsp;second&nbsp;gratitude&nbsp;practice&nbsp;you&nbsp;can&nbsp;do&nbsp;anytimeSimple&nbsp;ideas&nbsp;to&nbsp;keep&nbsp;the&nbsp;gratitude&nbsp;going&nbsp;at&nbsp;school💬&nbsp;Quote&nbsp;from&nbsp;the&nbsp;Episode“Emotional&nbsp;safety&nbsp;is&nbsp;such&nbsp;a&nbsp;quiet&nbsp;form&nbsp;of&nbsp;love,&nbsp;and&nbsp;when&nbsp;kids&nbsp;choose&nbsp;to&nbsp;show&nbsp;up&nbsp;in&nbsp;your&nbsp;space,&nbsp;that&nbsp;is&nbsp;gratitude&nbsp;in&nbsp;motion.”💛&nbsp;Encouragement&nbsp;for&nbsp;the&nbsp;WeekTake&nbsp;a&nbsp;moment&nbsp;today&nbsp;to&nbsp;name&nbsp;one&nbsp;thing&nbsp;you&nbsp;are&nbsp;grateful&nbsp;for&nbsp;in&nbsp;your&nbsp;work,&nbsp;with&nbsp;no&nbsp;posting&nbsp;or&nbsp;documenting,&nbsp;just&nbsp;a&nbsp;quiet&nbsp;acknowledgment&nbsp;of&nbsp;a&nbsp;meaningful&nbsp;moment.You&nbsp;are&nbsp;the&nbsp;safe&nbsp;space.&nbsp;You&nbsp;are&nbsp;the&nbsp;trusted&nbsp;adult.&nbsp;You&nbsp;are&nbsp;the&nbsp;calm&nbsp;in&nbsp;the&nbsp;storm.And&nbsp;that&nbsp;is&nbsp;something&nbsp;to&nbsp;be&nbsp;profoundly&nbsp;grateful&nbsp;for.Happy&nbsp;Thanksgiving,&nbsp;counselor&nbsp;friends.&nbsp;I&nbsp;appreciate&nbsp;you&nbsp;more&nbsp;than&nbsp;you&nbsp;know.&nbsp;💛Grab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcastJoin Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months!Connect with Carol:<a...

In this week's podcast we look at pre-holiday behavior spikes through a problem-solving lens. Instead of “How do we punish this?” we ask, “What skill is missing?” She models restorative conversations, shares reflection tools that build self-awareness, and walks through calm-down strategies that help students regulate before you problem-solve.Key takeawaysBehavior = communication. Shift from “what’s wrong with the student?” to “what’s happening for the student?”Use restorative approaches: understand harm, take responsibility, repair relationships, restore trust.Reflection &gt; reaction: guided behavior reflection sheets connect thoughts, feelings, needs, and next steps.Regulation first: you can’t consequence a child into calm; teach calming tools, then problem-solve.Mindset shift: connection before correction; growth over guilt.Try-it-now toolsRestorative questions:What happened? • What were you thinking/feeling? • Who was affected &amp; how? • What makes it right? • What will you do next time?Behavior Reflection prompts:Trigger • Feeling • Need • Better choice next time • Who to repair with &amp; how (what a real apology looks/sounds like).Calm-down strategies:Square/5-finger breathing, grounding (5–4–3–2–1), movement/water break, sensory tools (rings, stress balls), feelings check-ins/thermometers.Scenario highlight“Jayden in the line”: Instead of office + lecture, Carol uses a brief restorative chat/circle + reflection sheet to move from guilt to growth and repair.Counselor moves to start this weekModel restorative conversations (skip “Why did you do that?”).Teach emotion language (feeling wheels, visuals, daily check-ins).Build a Behavior Reflection Toolkit for you and teachers.Quote to remember“Punishment might stop the behavior, but it doesn’t heal what’s underneath. Problem-solving does.”ConnectFollow Carol on IG: @counselingessentialsShare what’s in your calm-down kit and tag the show!Think SheetsGrab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcastJoin Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months!Connect with Carol:TpT StoreCounseling Essentials WebsiteInstagramFacebookElementary School Counselor...

How do we help students stand by their values even when doing so might cost them friends? In this week’s episode, I'm sharing how a simple story—The Fall Festival Dilemma—sparked powerful conversations about honesty, belonging, and integrity.In this episode, you’ll learn:How to use moral dilemmas to help students reflect on their valuesWays to move from “teaching right and wrong” to helping kids live their beliefsDiscussion prompts that build empathy, courage, and critical thinkingHow to connect values lessons to ASCA Mindsets &amp; Behaviors and CASEL’s Responsible Decision-Making competencyWhy standing up for what’s right helps students develop confidence and character💡 Quote of the Episode:“Values aren’t just beliefs—they’re actions. Real values show up when they cost you something.”Resources Mentioned:The Fall Festival DilemmaPerks Content ClubGrab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcastJoin Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months!Connect with Carol:TpT StoreCounseling Essentials WebsiteInstagramFacebookElementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook GroupCaught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook GroupHigh School Counselor Connection Facebook GroupMentioned in this episode:Perks Membership

October might be over, but kindness shouldn’t be. In this week’s episode, I’m sharing how restorative practices can take your school from reactive to relational — and how simple daily routines can build a culture where students feel safe, seen, and supported.Restorative practices aren’t about punishment; they’re about connection. When we focus on building relationships first, we prevent harm — and when harm does happen, we know how to repair it with empathy and understanding.I’ll walk you through what this looks like at each tier — from morning greetings and check-ins to community circles and peer mediation programs — so you can start building a stronger sense of belonging right where you are.✨ In this episode, I share:Simple ways to weave restorative practices into your daily routinesHow to use greetings, check-ins, and circles to strengthen relationshipsWhat each tier of restorative practice looks like in actionWhy reflection, not punishment, leads to lasting behavior changeHow connection and accountability go hand in handIf you’ve been looking for a way to take your anti-bullying work beyond October, this episode will help you do just that — one greeting, one circle, one conversation at a time.Because when we build connection into every day, kindness becomes who we are, not just what we do. 💛Links Mentioned:Community Circles Beginning BundleCommunity Circles Self-Awareness BundleCommunity Circles Self-Management BundleCommunity Circles Social-Awareness BundleThink SheetsGrab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcastJoin Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months!Connect with Carol:TpT StoreCounseling Essentials WebsiteInstagramFacebookElementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook Group<a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/176582632507419" rel="noopener...

October is packed—Red Ribbon Week, conferences, spirit days, and of course, Bullying Prevention Month. But if we really want to create schools where students feel safe, seen, and supported, our work has to go deeper than themed t-shirts and hashtag campaigns.In this episode, I’m sharing how to build an anti-bullying culture that lasts long after October ends — one rooted in empathy, connection, and consistency.Here’s what I’ll walk you through:🌱 What a real anti-bullying culture looks like🧭 How to weave kindness and empathy into Tier 1 classroom lessons💬 Creative Tier 2 ideas like Kindness Clubs and leadership groups🏫 Whole-school strategies that make kindness part of your school’s DNA📊 Why data matters—and how to show that kindness work truly changes climateBecause awareness is great, but awareness alone doesn’t change behavior. Culture does.My favorite reminder from this episode:“Awareness is just the spark. But culture change? That’s the flame that keeps you burning all year long.”So grab your coffee (and maybe a donut if you have one), and let’s talk about how to make kindness stick all year long.Links Mentioned:Building Champions Small GroupTop Secret Kindness Club Small GroupGrab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcastJoin Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months!Connect with Carol:TpT StoreCounseling Essentials WebsiteInstagramFacebookElementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook GroupCaught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook GroupHigh School Counselor Connection Facebook GroupMentioned in this episode:Perks Membership

In this episode of Counselor Chat, I’m sharing one of my favorite fall-inspired lessons — what I like to call The Candy Corn Principle.You know how people either love or hate candy corn? Well, the same goes for our work as school counselors. No matter how much heart, effort, or intention we pour into our programs, not everyone is going to love what we do — and that’s okay.In this episode, I’m talking about why trying to please everyone can leave you burned out and how to stay focused on what truly matters: making a difference for your students.Here’s what I’ll walk you through:🎯 The real reason people-pleasing feels so natural (and so exhausting)🧭 How to protect your time and purpose with healthy boundaries💬 Calm, professional ways to say “no” without guilt💡 Why consistency earns respect faster than trying to please everyone❤️ How to shift from seeking approval to staying aligned with your missionMy favorite reminder from this episode:“You’re not here to make everyone happy. You’re here to make a difference. And those two things are not the same.”So grab your coffee (and maybe a handful of candy corn), and join me for a sweet little reminder that your value isn’t defined by how many people approve — it’s measured by the difference you make every single day.Grab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcastJoin Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months!Connect with Carol:TpT StoreCounseling Essentials WebsiteInstagramFacebookElementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook GroupCaught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook GroupHigh School Counselor Connection Facebook GroupMentioned in this episode:Perks Membership

In honor of Bullying Prevention Month, I'm exploring how counselors can help students move beyond “Don’t be a bully” to living empathy through meaningful, collaborative kindness projects.In This Episode, You’ll Learn:The difference between teaching empathy and practicing itSimple schoolwide projects that create a culture of kindness:Classroom extensions like kindness tickets, secret kindness agents, and gratitude postcards Lead with empathy — not just awareness. Don’t just define kindness. Show it. Celebrate it. Let it grow.Resources mentioned:Where Oliver Fits LessonBooks Mentioned:The Kindness QuiltKindness GrowsWhere Oliver FitsGrab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcastJoin Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months!Connect with Carol:TpT StoreCounseling Essentials WebsiteInstagramFacebookElementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook GroupCaught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook GroupHigh School Counselor Connection Facebook GroupMentioned in this episode:Perks Membership

The first few weeks of school are often a blur of class schedules, new faces, and back-to-school energy—but they’re also the time when every referral seems to come in at once.In this episode, I'm breaking down how to handle that wave of requests without losing your mind (or your lunch break). You’ll learn how to triage like a pro, set healthy boundaries with staff, and create systems that save your future self a ton of time and stress.What you’ll learn in this episode:Why referral overload is actually a good sign (and how to manage it)Carol’s 3-T Triage System: Time-Sensitive, Tiered, and TransparentHow to streamline referrals with a Google FormWhat to say instead of “That’s not my job” (without burning bridges)Why your language matters when setting boundariesA simple way to track referrals for data and advocacyEncouragement for Counselors:You don’t have to do it all at once. You just need a system, a plan, and permission to pause. Triage your time. Lead with heart. And remember—you’re not behind, you’re building something sustainable.Grab the Show Notes: Counselingessentials.org/podcastJoin Perks Counseling Club Membership and get the lessons, small group and individual counseling materials you need. Join now and get your first month free when you sign up for 3 months!Connect with Carol:TpT StoreCounseling Essentials WebsiteInstagramFacebookElementary School Counselor Exchange Facebook GroupCaught In The Middle School Counselors Facebook GroupHigh School Counselor Connection Facebook GroupMentioned in this episode:Perks Membership