The Power of Know, Like, and Trust with Dr. Ruth Gotian

In this episode of The Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata revisits his insightful conversation with the ultimate super-connector, Dr. Ruth Gotian. Andy introduces the concept of the “Gottian Sphere” to explore Ruth's phenomenal generosity with her network and why she believes in an abundance mentality. They examine the principle of "know, like, and trust," stressing that genuine relationships are never transactional—you must give long before you ever consider taking. Ruth explains how shared experiences and vulnerability can rapidly deepen connections, even in a virtual world. Discover the mindset of an extreme high-achiever who has built a world-class network not by hoarding contacts, but by thoughtfully and generously sharing them. This episode is a masterclass in building authentic, lasting professional relationships that open doors for everyone involved. 5 Key Takeaways The "Know, Like, and Trust" Principle is Non-Negotiable: Introductions carry weight. Dr. Gotian only connects people she genuinely knows, likes, and trusts, creating "associated trust" that gives the new relationship a strong foundation. Give Before You Take: A strong network is built on generosity, not transactions. Offer value and build the relationship over a long period before ever thinking of asking for something in return. Shared Vulnerability Accelerates Connection: The deepest bonds are often formed when the professional mask drops. As seen in her "shared misery" pandemic group, being authentic and vulnerable builds trust faster than any formal networking event. Deep Connections Don't Require Physical Presence: Meaningful, trusting relationships can be built entirely online. Consistency, shared values, and genuine interest are more important than meeting in person. Turn a Request into an Offer: When asking for an introduction, phrase it to benefit the person you're asking. Frame it as an opportunity for their contact 3 Actionable Insights When you make an introduction, your reputation is on the line. Are you making your connections feel safe by giving them an "out" and asking permission before connecting them? Dr. Gotian found a clever, non-demanding reason to initiate contact with a respected peer. What's the overlooked "hook" you could use to start a genuine conversation with someone you admire? Everyone wants an introduction to a key person, but most ask in a way that gets them ignored. What if you could reframe your request so it’s focused entirely on the other person’s interests, making it almost impossible for them to say no? SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Dr. Ruth Gotian: Website |LinkedIn | Navigating the Gotiansphere with Ruth Gotian The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring

In a world where disrespect and division are increasingly normalised, how can leaders navigate difficult conversations and transform conflict into connection? This episode of the Connected Leadership Podcast tackles this critical challenge head-on as Andy Lopata welcomes Justin Jones-Fosu. A dynamic speaker and author, Justin guides individuals and organisations to their peak potential through meaningful work, inclusive mindsets, and the art of respectful disagreement.   Justin argues that the "social isolation theory", amplified by social media, has seeped from our global discourse into the workplace, creating dynamics like "disrespectful agreement"—where politeness masks underlying dissent. This erodes trust and stifles innovation. The conversation explores how leaders can counteract this by proactively building psychological safety and shifting from a passive "open-door policy" to an active "out-the-door policy" to intentionally build relational capital.   At the core of the discussion are Justin’s five powerful pillars for bridging divides: Challenge Your Perspective, Be the Student, Cultivate Your Curiosity, Seek the Grey, and Agree to Respect. He provides a masterclass in moving beyond a win-lose mentality, emphasising that curiosity is the engine for understanding and that finding common ground is more crucial than seeking a middle ground.   From the cultural nuances of disagreement in global teams to the power of a leader's apology, this episode is packed with profound insights and practical frameworks. Discover how to reframe conflict as an opportunity for growth, humanise your interactions, and build a culture where challenging conversations strengthen, rather than sever, professional relationships. What we discussed: The Echo Chamber's Invasion: What if the distance created by our screens and societal echo chambers is actively teaching us to dehumanise our colleagues? The Agreeable Dissenter: Are your team's nods of agreement hiding a culture of silent, simmering dissent known as "disrespectful agreement"? The Leader's Journey: Why is the traditional "open-door policy" a passive failure, and what is the proactive alternative that builds authentic connection? Beyond Black and White: When two sides are locked in opposition, what is the innovative "grey" space that most leaders fail to see? The Power of the Pre-Workout: How can intentionally seeking out different perspectives before a conflict arises become your most effective tool for handling it? Actionable Insights: Embark on the "Out the Door" Expedition: Discover how to transform the failed "open-door policy" into an active leadership ritual. Learn the 15-minute weekly habit that builds profound relational capital and makes your team feel truly seen. Unlock the Code for Candour: Find out the simple, powerful phrase you can use to "prime the pump" for respectful disagreement in any meeting, instantly creating the psychological safety needed for your team to share what they really think. Master the Quest for "The Grey": When stuck in a debate, learn how to escape the black-and-white battle. We reveal the technique for "Seeking the Grey" to find the hidden common ground that holds the key to innovative solutions, not just empty compromises. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Justin Jones-Fosu: Website |LinkedIn |YouTube Rebel Ideas, Matthew Syed Dialogue: The Art of Thinking Together, William Isaacs Fail Fast, Learn Fast With Daniela Landherr The Right Kind of Wrong with Dr Amy Edmondson The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring

Are you constantly drowning in a sea of emails, back-to-back meetings, and an endless to-do list? Do you end the day feeling exhausted but not truly productive? You're not just busy; you're caught in the "crazy busy" trap—and it's costing you the relationships that fuel long-term success. In this episode from the archive, Andy Lopata is joined by leadership coach and author of The Crazy Busy Cure, Zena Everett, to diagnose and solve this modern epidemic. Zena breaks down why so many professionals prioritise urgent but unimportant tasks (the "field mice") over the high-impact activities that truly move the needle (the "antelopes"). This conversation is packed with actionable strategies for anyone in a client-facing or business development role who wants to shift from a reactive state of "doing" to a proactive state of "achieving". In This Episode, You'll Learn: ·       The "Antelope vs Field Mice" Principle: A powerful mindset shift to help you distinguish between high-value priorities and minor distractions. ·       How to Schedule "Power Hours": A practical method for protecting your most productive time for deep, focused work. ·       The Art of Setting Boundaries: Learn how to say "no" gracefully and communicate your availability to reclaim control of your calendar. ·       Taming Your Digital Leash: Simple but effective techniques to minimise time wasted on unnecessary emails, notifications, and social media. ·       From "Busy" to "Connected": Why scheduling time for relationship-building is a non-negotiable for innovation, career growth, and business success. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Zena Everett: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 179 Featuring Daniela Landher

Your career success depends on more than just your skills—it's built on the strength of your relationships. In this classic episode from the archives, Andy Lopata and MIT instructor Mark Herschberg, author of The Career Toolkit, break down the art of strategic networking inside your organisation. Discover why your internal connections are your greatest asset for unlocking hidden opportunities, gaining influence, and accelerating your career path. This is a masterclass in turning everyday interactions into a powerful professional advantage. In This Episode, You'll Learn: ·      The Internal Goldmine: Why your internal network is a rich source of information, resources, and career-defining opportunities. ·      The Motivation Secret: How to achieve seamless collaboration and build influence by aligning with what truly motivates your colleagues. ·      Mastering Your Reputation: How to proactively manage the way you're perceived to build trust, authority, and credibility. ·      Authentic Advocacy: Techniques for genuine self-promotion that get you noticed for the right reasons, without feeling forced. ·      The Power of Diversity: The strategic advantage of building a diverse network across different departments and seniority levels. Actionable Insights: ·      Influence >Authority: Real influence isn't about your title; it's about understanding and aligning with the goals of others. ·      Your Reputation is Built Daily: Actively manage how you are perceived in every meeting andemail—don't leave it to chance. ·      Advocate for Your Value: If you don't share your own wins, you can't expect others to see them. Learn to do it authentically. ·      Break Out of Your Silo: A diverse network is your best defence against blind spots and a catalyst for innovation. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Mark Herschberg: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 116 Featuring Mark Herschberg

In this episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata goes back to the archive to his interview with Nobel Laureate Dr Bob Lefkowitz where they discussed the power of storytelling and humour in science, mentorship, and leadership. Drawing from his memoir, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Stockholm, Bob shares captivating anecdotes, including the unforgettable moment his daughter got engaged at the Nobel Banquet. He emphasises how storytelling transforms raw data into compelling narratives, influencing both scientific discovery and clinical practice. Bob also explores how humour fosters creativity, strengthens relationships, and enhances communication. As a mentor to over 200 scientists, he highlights the importance of personal connection, fun, and role modelling in developing future leaders. The conversation also touches on cultural differences in humour, professional relationships, and the balance between collaboration and competition in achieving success. Key Takeaways: 1. Storytelling Shapes Understanding: Presenting data through different narrative structures can lead to new insights and more engaging communication in both science and leadership. 2. Humour Enhances Creativity: Using humour in professional settings boosts creativity, strengthens relationships, and makes messages more memorable. 3. Self-Awareness Matters: Know whether you’re naturally funny or not—humour should feel authentic; forced jokes can backfire. 4. Connection Drives Mentorship: Building personal rapport, showing empathy, and sharing stories are essential in mentoring future leaders. 5. Cultural Sensitivity is Key: Be mindful of cultural differences when communicating, especially regarding humour and audience engagement styles.  SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Dr Bob Lefkowitz: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 127 Featuring Dr Bob Lefkowitz

In this episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata revisits his episode with Lee Cockrell, former Executive Vice President of Operations at Disney World. Andy and Lee discuss  the power of storytelling in leadership. Drawing from his extensive experience at Disney, Lee highlights how storytelling is deeply embedded in Disney’s culture, shaping everything from guest experiences to employee training. He emphasises that storytelling isn’t just about entertainment—it’s a strategic tool that connects emotionally, conveys values, and drives engagement. Lee also shares insights on how leaders can use personal stories, including their vulnerabilities and failures, to build trust and inspire teams. He offers practical tips for incorporating storytelling into everyday communication, stressing the importance of authenticity, emotional connection, and visual elements. They finish with reflections on how organisations must align their actions with their stories to maintain trust and reputation in today’s digital world. Key Takeaways: 1. Storytelling is a powerful leadership tool that engages hearts and minds more effectively than facts or presentations. 2. Authenticity matters—sharing personal struggles and failures builds trust and relatability. 3. Every employee plays a role in the organisational story, much like cast members in a show. 4. Visuals and attention to detail enhance storytelling and shape memorable experiences. 5. Organisational stories must align with real-world experiences to maintain credibility and reputation. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website |Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Lee Cockrell: Website |LinkedIn | The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode 140 Lee Cockrell

In this episode of the Connected Leadership Podcast, Andy Lopata welcomes guest Jenna Dominique, a pitch and communication expert, working with over 2,000 teams and individuals to become influential, high impact communicators. After starting her career as a broadcast journalist, Jenna’s dynamic background has led her to work with ambitious entrepreneurs to boards of directors, startups to global corporations. An international speaker and event host, she uses her breadth of experience to deliver highly practical support to every audience she works with. She is also a hugely passionate adventurer and co-founder of DAT adventures, running unique retreats for ambitious individuals that want to progress personally and professionally Andy & Jenna explore the importance of pitching in various professional contexts, from sales to networking and interviews. Jenna emphasises that pitching is not limited to formal presentations but is something everyone does daily—whether introducing oneself or articulating value in a conversation. Jenna highlights key strategies for preparing an impactful pitch, starting with researching the audience to tailor the message effectively. She stresses the importance of focusing on benefits and outcomes to make the pitch resonate personally with the listener. Their discussion also touches on the logistics of pitching, such as understanding the format (in-person or online) and time constraints. A significant portion of the conversation centres on the much-maligned "elevator pitch". Jenna advocates for a more conversational approach, encouraging listeners to engage their audience with questions and storytelling rather than reciting a rigid script. She introduces the concept of the "corridor of conversation", where each response opens a door to deeper engagement, allowing the conversation to develop naturally. Jenna also shares insights on how to create a compelling slide deck for formal pitches, emphasising "less is more" and the power of storytelling. She advises crafting slides that complement the speaker, ensuring the presenter remains essential to the message. The episode concludes with Andy explaining how he uses the Rule of Three when planning presentations. What we discussed: 1. Tailoring Your Pitch: Adapting your message to suit the audience's needs and context. 2. Storytelling & Engagement: Using stories and questions to build connection and keep the audience engaged. 3. Authenticity: Being genuine and true to yourself to foster trust and rapport. 4. Slide Deck Design: Keeping visuals minimal and complementary, enhancing rather than overshadowing the presenter. 5. Follow-Up & Relationship Building: Ensuring the conversation continues after the pitch to nurture long-term connections. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Jenna Dominique: Website |LinkedIn The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring

In this episode, Andy Lopata revisits his conversation with Jennifer McCollum, CEO of Catalyst and author of In Her Own Voice: A Woman’s Rise to CEO. Their conversation explores the unique challenges women face in advancing their careers, emphasising the critical role of sponsorship over mentorship. Jennifer shares personal and professional insights on how external biases often become internalised, holding women back from advocating for themselves. She highlights the importance of visibility, self-promotion, and making bold asks as key drivers of career progression. Andy and Jennifer discuss allyship—especially male allyship—and what it looks like at different levels of an organisation. They emphasise that allyship isn’t just about grand gestures; small actions, such as giving credit where it’s due or amplifying someone’s voice in a meeting, can make a big difference. Their conversation also touches on the “third shift” burden placed on women to lead DEI efforts and the need to share that responsibility across all genders. Jennifer outlines four levers organisations can use to drive equity: inclusive culture, equitable talent systems, executive commitment, and targeted leadership development. The episode closes with reflections on authenticity in leadership and the value of diverse perspectives in reshaping outdated narratives around gender and success. Key Takeaways: 1. Sponsorship > Mentorship: Sponsors open doors and advocate actively, while mentors offer advice—women especially need sponsors to access opportunities. 2. Internalised Bias: Women often downplay their worth, believing hard work alone will lead to advancement—this mindset must be challenged. 3. Allyship Matters: Men can be powerful allies by amplifying women’s voices, mentoring, and sponsoring talent. 4. Systemic Change Required: Organisations must address culture, talent systems, leadership development, and executive accountability to support gender equity. 5. Authentic Leadership: Success doesn’t require women (or men) to conform to outdated masculine stereotypes—being authentic drives performance and belonging. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | Youtube Connect with Jennifer McCollum: X/Twitter | LinkedIn | Instagram Podcast: Navigating Imposter Syndrome With Sajna Rahman and Caroline Flanagan Book: Business Networking and Sex: Not What You Think Book: Beyond the Boys' Club: Achieving Career Success as a Woman Working in a Male Dominated Field

In this episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, we go back to the archive to revisit a conversation with human potential expert Nikki Bush who joined Andy Lopata to explore the challenges and opportunities of leading in a hybrid world. Nikki highlights how leaders often fall into the trap of over-scheduling meetings, leading to burnout and reduced productivity. She emphasises the importance of high-touch leadership—deep listening, emotional presence, and building trust through intentional one-on-one conversations. Their discussion also touches on the rise in micromanagement post-pandemic, driven by fear and uncertainty, and how slowing down, asking better questions, and creating space can transform team dynamics. Nikki advocates for separating social and process-based meetings, using flexible communication tools, and maintaining emotional connection in virtual environments. She also stresses the value of in-person gatherings to rebuild trust and alignment within teams. Nikki’s insights show that hybrid leadership is an ongoing experiment requiring adaptability, empathy, and clarity in communication. Key Takeaways: 1. Avoid Meeting Overload: Too many long or unnecessary meetings reduce productivity 2. High-Touch ≠ Physical Touch: Emotional presence, deep listening, and authentic connection define empathetic leadership. 3. Micromanagement is Fear-Based: Trust your team and focus on outcomes, not control. 4. Separate Social & Process Meetings: Create distinct spaces for relationship-building and task execution. 5. In-Person Still Matters: Regular face-to-face interactions help break down misperceptions and rebuild team cohesion. SELECTED LINKS FROM THE EPISODE Connect with Andy Lopata: Website | Instagram | LinkedIn | X/Twitter | YouTube Connect with Nikki Bush: LinkedIn | Website   The Financial Times Guide to Mentoring Episode Featuring Nikki Bush

In this episode of Connected Leadership Bytes, Andy Lopata looks back at his podcast episode with Neil Wilkie, a former successful businessman turned psychotherapist and relationship coach. Neil shares his journey from chasing financial success to prioritising purpose after realising material achievements left him unfulfilled. He introduces his Relationship Paradigm, a framework identifying six elements for thriving relationships: communication, connection, commitment, fun, growth, and trust. These principles apply equally to personal and professional dynamics, with Neil emphasising that relationships shape organisational culture, which drives sustainable success. Andy and Neil discuss overcoming communication breakdowns through clarity and active listening, balancing authenticity with positivity as a leader, and nurturing trust through vulnerability and conflict resolution. Neil also addresses challenges in virtual environments like Zoom, advocating for phone calls to deepen connection. He stresses the importance of intentionally nurturing relationships—both personal and professional—to avoid stagnation and build mutual growth. Key Takeaways: 1. Relationships > Metrics: True success stems from meaningful connections, not just financial or material gains. 2. Communication Clarity: Misunderstandings often derail relationships; always confirm mutual understanding. 3. Trust as Foundation: Trust is built through commitment, transparency, and resolving conflicts constructively. 4. Intentional Growth: Relationships require regular check-ins and adaptation to evolve positively. 5. Energy Matters: Leaders should balance authenticity with uplifting energy to foster a supportive culture. Connect with Andy LopataWebsite Connect with Neil Wilkie LinkedIn Website Listen to the full episode featuring Neil