#397 How to Practice Radical Kindness in an Us Vs. Them World with Pastor Terry Crist

Wow! Can you believe it? Can I Laugh on Your Shoulder? has hit its 400th episode! If you had told me back in 2016 when this all started that we'd make it this far, I don’t know if I would’ve believed you. But here we are, and it feels incredibly special. I'm beyond grateful for each and every one of you who's supported the podcast over the years.   In celebration of this huge milestone, I’m going to take some time today to share some of my favorite memories and answer some listener questions that I’ve received over the years! From the bottom of my heart, thank you for being a part of this journey. Here’s to many more episodes filled with laughter, tears, and growth!     0:49 – Reflecting On 400 Episodes   8 years in podcasting THANK YOU! The highs and the lows of the last 8 years     4:46 – “Why Did You Start This Podcast?”   Working in radio, blogging, and starting “Business with Purpose” Rebranding the podcast Creating a space for diverse conversations     8:53 – “Most Memorable Moments + Favorite Guests?”   Turkeys interrupting a recording session Kevin Fredericks’ episode     12:00 – “How Do You Prepare For Each Podcast?”   Booking and communicating with guests Reading books + light-to-moderate internet stalking Coming up with interview questions Recording sessions, graphics and more   14:50 – “How Do You Remain Inspired Amidst Setbacks?”   Thinking of ways to keep the show fun The challenges of podcasting Molly’s “why”   16:31 – “What’s One Piece Of Advice From A Guest You’ve Implemented?”   Ginny from 1,000 Hours Outside Being present in daily life Taking the summer off     FEATURED QUOTES   “When I started this podcast eight years ago, if you'd told me that I would still be here, eight years later, and I will have published 400 episodes…I don't know that I would have believed you.”   "Podcasting is hard. I’ve done this every single week for nearly eight years. This is not something that you go into lightly."   “My why and my motivation for doing this is because of the stories that I hear from listeners when they share how a particular episode has impacted or inspired them or changed their lives.”   Connect with me:   http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly     GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv     About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?   Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

My guest this week is the incredible Stephanie Quayle. She's a Nashville recording artist, founder of the record label Big Sky Music Group, and has been recognized by Rolling Stone Country and CMT for her talent. With two Billboard charted singles, she's an independent artist who frequently performs at CMA Fest and the Grand Ole Opry. I’m thrilled to have her on the show today to talk about her new book, Why Do We Stay? How My Toxic Relationship Can Help You Find Healing. It’s not only an incredibly powerful story but an excellent resource for spotting red flags and starting your journey toward healing. She’s here to share her story with us today, reflect on life post-toxic relationship, and share some of the steps she took to navigate the most difficult times of her life. If you’ve ever experienced an unhealthy relationship or are supporting someone who is going through one, this conversation is so important. Stephanie has such an incredible story and was such a joy to talk to! 2:45 – Stephanie 101 Growing up on a farm in Montana Starting a record label in 2015 Performing at the Grand Ole Opry Becoming an author 4:14 – Digging Deeper Into Stephanie’s Story Facing bullying and discovering a love for music Experiencing the underbelly of the industry in LA Losing partner in a plane crash and discovering infidelity shortly after Moving to Nashville, starting a label, and falling into another toxic relationship Confronting the past and writing a book to help others 20:22 – Reflections On Toxic Relationships Staying in unhealthy relationships Forgiving toxic partners and yourself during the healing process Finding the unconditional love of Jesus 34:18 – Life After A Toxic Relationship Seeking out professional support in the healing process Leaning on faith and God’s tools You are not the problem, but you are the solution You are enough on your own 42:03 – Stephanie’s Advice For Those In Toxic Relationships Listening to your intuition Recognizing red flags Surrounding yourself with trusted people Considering the advice you would give to others FEATURED QUOTES "We are not meant to do this on our own. God gives us tools. God gives us people. And we need to utilize those." "You are not the problem, but you are your solution. And that only happens by us getting stronger." “Until we fix ourselves, there's, there's really no way around it, there's no way of getting over it… The only way to get over it is by getting through it to get to the other side." “No one is going to fix you. No one is going to complete you. You know, I think that sometimes when we think of equally yoked, we think of ourselves as only 50%. And that then our other 50% will be this person that comes in like saves our lives, right? Well, there's only one that does that. That's Jesus.”   Learn more about Stephanie: Stephanie’s website https://www.stephaniequayle.com/home Get your copy of Why Do We Stay? https://www.amazon.com/Why-Do-We-Stay-Relationship/dp/140024451X Stephanie on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/stephaniequayle Stephanie on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stephaniequayle Stephanie on X: https://x.com/stephaniequayle Stephanie on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/STEPHANIEQUAYLE

This week's guest is Ally Fallon, an award-winning author, ghostwriter, and expert book coach who has helped countless individuals find their voice and share their stories through her community Find Your Voice.   Her new book, Write Your Story: A Simple Framework to Understand Yourself, Your Story, and Your Purpose in the World is incredibly powerful, and a testament to her belief that everyone has a story worth telling.   I’m thrilled to have her on the show today to share insights on why writing can be such a powerful tool for personal growth and healing. If you’ve ever thought about writing a book, starting a blog, or even starting to journal, this conversation is sure to inspire you to pick up that pen and start writing! 2:32 – Ally 101 Passion for books and writing at a young age Becoming a teacher Finding a niche in coaching aspiring writers 6:33 – The Transformative Power Of Storytelling The desire to write should be pursued Seeing life through the lens of storytelling Gaining new perspectives and finding empowerment 11:09 – The Science Behind Writing The physical and emotional benefits of writing Developing your writing skills through consistent practice Anyone can write! 19:32 – The Keys Elements To A Good Story Recognizing oneself as the hero Embracing problems as a pathway to growth Transformation as the heart of the story Self-reflection and honesty in storytelling 37:01 – The Path To Healing Spiritual growth through storytelling Authentic change and growth cannot be rushed or forced Connecting with Ally FEATURED QUOTES “Writing your story will connect you to yourself and your own intuition. It connects you to the people around you, especially your family members and the people who are immediately related to you. And it also connects you to the broader world at large.” “Problems are the lighter fluid on the fire of stories. Without problems, there's no story.” “Consistently the people who come to the Write Your Story workshops, who pick up this book, who come to me asking for help with a book 100% of the time, these are people who are hungry for spiritual growth. And they're like, ‘I don't care what it takes. I don't care how uncomfortable it is. I want this for myself.’ And I hope that the book can help them to achieve that.”   Learn more about Ally: https://writeyourstory.com/ Get your copy of Write Your Story https://www.amazon.com/Write-Your-Story-Framework-Understand/dp/1637632592 Ally on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/allyfallon/?hl=en   Connect with me:   http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly     GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv     About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?   Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

My guest this week is Terry Crist. He is the co-lead pastor of City of Grace in Phoenix, alongside his wife, Judith. As a fifth-generation pastor, Terry is dedicated to community transformation and advocates for adoption and foster care through his involvement in state government.  Outside of his pastoral duties, he's a passionate outdoorsman, a skilled communicator, and has shared the gospel in 65 countries. Terry and Judith have three married sons and three grandkids, and their family is dedicated to spreading the good news of Jesus. Terry’s new book, Loving Samaritans: Radical Kindness In An Us VS. Them World, explores the transformative power of radical kindness. I am so excited to dig into the meat of his book with him today and talk about how even the smallest acts of kindness can pave the way for deeper connections and understanding.  I know you’re going to love this one! 2:43 – Terry 101 Raised as a church kid Falling in love with ministry Planting 3 churches 6:38 – Faith In The Everyday World  Why Terry felt called to write this book The significant polarization and division in today's world Feeling a call to live more intentionally on mission 13:02 – The Woman At The Well The significance of this story Jesus’ radical inclusivity Jesus' reconciliation and healing What is truth? 26:30 – Living On Mission Anywhere Jesus became a neighborhood kid The distinction between hospitality and fellowship Being hospitable to people outside the church Jesus’ model of loving people 38:15 – Walking In Love Looking for traces of grace every day Walking through the day with eyes open Identifying everyone we meet as a neighbor Understanding God’s love in order to love others well FEATURED QUOTES “I think all people have some fundamental things in common. We all want the best for ourselves and our family, we all want to be seen, we want to be heard, we want to be loved, we want to be valued, we want to be known.” “All people are worthy of being heard. All people are worthy of hearing the truth without insult, and all people are worthy of unconditional love. Even if they don't accept our gospel, we can and should still give them our love, in the hopes that they do receive our gospel.” “We don't need to assume that we don't have strangers around us, because we do, even in the smallest of towns. Hospitality is really opening our doors to them, just as Jesus did to us.” “Loving people unconditionally, with strength, faithfully, enduringly, blessing our enemies, being compassionate to those who are in need, welcoming strangers- these are the practices of the gospel.” ADDITIONAL RESOURCES OR LINKS THAT NEED TO BE INCLUDED IN POST Learn more about Terry: https://www.terrycrist.com/ Get your copy of Loving Samaritans https://www.zondervan.com/p/loving-samaritans/ Terry on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/terrycrist Terry on X https://x.com/terrycrist City of Grace Church https://www.cityofgrace.com/ The Chosen Woman At The Well Scene https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ordhsDeAt60   Connect with me:   http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly     GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv     About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?   Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

Julie and Chris Bennett have spent the majority of their 23 years of marriage working in vocational ministry. Through overwhelming challenges- a cancer diagnosis, a relapse, and a pandemic- they have learned how to fight for the things that matter and devote themselves to helping others do the same. Today, they are the founders of Welcome Home Lifestyle which exists to create and promote content that celebrates all things family. Their new book Fighting For Family: The Relentless Pursuit of Building Belonging, was just released in March and is all about embracing togetherness in a time when so many suffer from loneliness. I’m so excited to dive into the heart of their new book with you and talk about how vulnerability, intentionality, and grace play pivotal roles in nurturing healthy relationships, whether with family, chosen family, or friends. 2:50 – Chris and Julie 101 Met at 19 and married at 21 Working in ministry in Oklahoma A calling to move their family to LA Julie’s stage 3 breast cancer diagnosis Challenges after the move + writing a book 7:34 – Guided By Faith   Life is not linear Trusting God's plan and remembering His track record Inviting children into the journey and allowing space for emotions Relying on His guidance 16:57 – Cultivating a Healthy Family Culture Chasing after a healthy family instead of a perfect family The greenhouse effect at home Modeling vulnerability and self-awareness as parents Remembering God’s faithfulness 28:37 – Building Belonging The 3 commitments for healthy relationships Creating space for understanding, vulnerability, and belonging Being intentional about building relationships Connecting with Chris and Julie FEATURED QUOTES   “We find out what we really believe about God, not when we get answers- it's when we're tested.”   “The idea of a greenhouse is that no matter what is happening externally- if it's scorching heat, if it's freezing cold, if it's raining- inside that greenhouse is a culture that things can grow year-round. And so we know that our kids are being exposed to all types of things. The world we're living in is very difficult for our kids… so we've tried to create this greenhouse effect at home.” “Remembering what God did yesterday is what gives us faith for tomorrow.” “Belonging is not something that you find, it’s something that you bring… people are able to do that and bring belonging when we give space for not having it all together and being messy.” Learn more about Chris and Julie: Fighting for Family https://www.fightingforfamily.org/ Get your copy of Fighting For Family https://www.amazon.com/Fighting-Family-Relentless-Building-Belonging/dp/0785293191?maas=maas_adg_980D35D24FEFF4EC892FEA9B34155B43_afap_abs&ref_=aa_maas&tag=maas Julie on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/juliebennett_/ Chris on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/chrisbennett143/ Chris and Julie on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/chrisandjuliebennett/ Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

My guest this week is Emily Morrow who founded the social media channel Really Very Crunchy with her husband, Jason, in 2022. Since then, her platform has rapidly grown, amassing over 3 million followers and more than a billion views across various video platforms. Emily is passionate about living a natural and sustainable lifestyle, and she uses her platform, along with her incredible sense of humor, to educate and inspire others on their journey to a healthier, toxin-free life. Her new book, Really Very Crunchy: A Beginner's Guide to Removing Toxins from Your Life Without Adding Them to Your Personality, is now available wherever books are sold, with her upcoming children's book, Little Helper, Big Imagination, set to release in July 2024. Stay tuned as we chat about her journey into crunchy living, navigating the comparison trap, the power of small changes, and so much more. I absolutely loved getting to know Emily and hope this conversation leaves you smiling and feeling inspired! 1:45 – Emily 101 Emily’s new book release A mom of two boys Moving to South Korea Falling into content creation 15:52 – The Crunchy Journey How Emily started making healthy lifestyle changes Finding what works for your family Creating relatable, non-judgemental content online Navigating feedback and perception along the way 26:28 – Crunchy Living in Practice  How family members have supported this lifestyle What crunchiness looks like on a day-to-day for Emily’s family Universal childhood experiences 37:51 – Takeaways Focusing on what’s best for your family Making realistic lifestyle changes for you Connecting with Emily FEATURED QUOTES “If you can't make all the changes, choose one thing…It doesn't have to be this big, extreme, and scary thing. You can make little changes.” “I hope that people are able to resist falling into a comparison trap. Honestly, I hope that people realize the only person they have to convince that they're doing their best is themselves.”   Connect with me:   http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly     GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv     About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?   Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world. Learn more about Emily: https://www.reallyverycrunchy.com/ Get your copy of Really Very Crunchy https://www.zondervan.com/p/really-very-crunchy/ Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@reallyverycrunchy YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLEvpTMBa0WuZuWAF2M9m0w Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/reallyverycrunchy/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/reallyverycrunchy/

In today’s episode, I’m joined by the remarkable Ryan George. Ryan is the author of the book, Hurt and Healed by the Church: Redemption and Reconstruction After Spiritual Abuse.  He spent the first 20 years of his life in a cult, attending a series of independent fundamental Baptist (IFB) churches, including one where his dad was a pastor with ultimate authority. Later in life, Ryan was confronted with the devastating truth of his father's serial sexual abuse. Despite the trauma he experienced, Ryan didn't abandon his faith. After leaving the spiritually abusive IFB movement, he embarked on a 25-year journey of reevaluation and reconstruction. Today, through his blog, books, interviews, and spiritual adventure company, Dude Group, Ryan offers hope for those navigating their own paths of healing.  I do want to warn our listeners that this episode focuses on sensitive subjects like church hurt and sexual abuse. However, Ryan’s story is so powerful, and filled with hope, compassion, and healing.  2:48 – Ryan 101 Oldest of six homeschooled children + a pastor’s son Husband and adoptive father Adventurer and blogger Author of 3 books 6:51 – The Path To Healing  Discovering his father’s abuse Navigating the aftermath Sharing his story to help others 18:16 – Jesus’ Model Of Justice Jesus as a model for handling anger and betrayal Pursuing justice with compassion Seeking Heaven on Earth 33:31 – Finding The Real Jesus  What identifies a cult from a healthy church environment  Ryan’s experience with IFB churches Seeking out the authentic Jesus  Recognizing that churches have both moments of beauty and moments of failure 54:54 – Takeaways Being the person that confesses first Podcast recording stories Connecting with Ryan FEATURED QUOTES "Wounds from relationships are only healed in relationships... And I think that wounds from the church can only be healed not necessarily in a church building, but by people who also love Jesus."   “Give people the gift of going second... You have to start with yourself, or it can spin in some very horrible places. You become a bomb thrower…. I want to be the person that confesses first, so that people go, ‘Oh, that’s the real thing.’”   Learn more about Ryan: Instagram: https://www.booksbyryan.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ryan.george Ryan’s Website https://www.booksbyryan.com/ Check out Ryan’s books: https://www.booksbyryan.com/books/ Explorience: https://explorience.org/about/   Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com  http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn  Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG  ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb  Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8  Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv  About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

Melissa Kruger serves as the Vice President of Discipleship Programming at The Gospel Coalition. As an author and Bible teacher, she regularly teaches women in her community and speaks at conferences around the country. I’m so excited to have her on the show today to talk about her latest book, Parenting with Hope: Raising Teens For Christ in a Secular Age, and dive into the ins and outs of raising teenagers. We talk about transitioning with your children as they grow, modeling a life of faith, creating a prayerful home, and so much more. In a culture that often implies that the teenage years are miserable and difficult, Melissa encourages parents to not overlook the beauty and joy in this chapter. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or simply someone who influences young lives, this conversation is SO important, and I can’t wait for you to hear it! 2:00 – Melissa 101 Vice President of the Gospel Coalition Mother of 3 and wife Former math teacher An unexpected path to writing 16 books 6:42 – Changing The Parenting Narrative The negative narrative surrounding parenting teenagers and tweens Understanding the development stages of this time period Being gracious and patient with teenagers + adapting your parenting style 14:21 – The Gracious Home Vs. The Permissive Home Setting boundaries and allowing for mistakes A lack of structure leading to negative outcomes Setting boundaries as a parent Allowing children to face consequences in a safe and supportive environment 21:25 – Parenting Through Different Stages Transitioning parenting styles from one stage to the next Recognizing children as independent human beings Walking alongside your children as they make their own decisions Avoiding placing your identity in your children’s actions or behaviors 33:03 – Modeling Faith Being gracious with failure as a parent Setting the example by walking with God Incorporating prayer into everyday life as a family Connecting with Melissa FEATURED QUOTES “I think growing up with our teen in some ways, is remaining curious about who they are and not making assumptions about why they're pushing back on something.” “I think it's really tempting as a parent sometimes to place a lot of our identity and in our teen…we start trying to control who they become, rather than walk alongside them as they're becoming who God made them to be.” “Learning how to make a mistake is actually a life lesson.” “I always say aim for patterns, not perfection.”   Learn more about Melissa: https://melissabkruger.com/ Get your copy of Parenting with Hope https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Hope-Raising-Christ-Secular-ebook/dp/B0CFTGDKJ1 The Gospel Coalition https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/   Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv   About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

My guest this week is the lovely Myquillyn Smith, also known as The Nester. She is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal best-selling author of Welcome Home and Cozy Minimalist Home. For over a decade, she has been encouraging women to embrace imperfections and live boldly in their spaces through her blog. Myquillyn’s home in North Carolina has been featured in publications such as Better Homes and Gardens, Ladies Home Journal, Cottages and Bungalows, and more. As a practicing imperfectionist, she believes in the power of small changes, putting nail holes in the wall, and taking the time to make a place feel like home – even if you’re renting. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her, hearing her perspective on creating a space you’ll love, and learning more about her latest book, House Rules, which is set to release on April 23rd. I just know you’re going to love her too! 3:07 – Myquillyn 101 Starting “The Nester” in 2007 Learning to build a home by moving frequently Teaching universal decorating truths 9:55 – Making a Home The perfectly staged homes seen on social media Embracing imperfection in home decor Making your space feel like you 17:45 – Establishing Roots Where You Are Taking ownership of your space, even in rentals or temporary spaces The perfect circumstance will never come The power of simple changes in home design 29:06 – Design Insights The genesis of Myquillyn’s passion for decorating Understanding design principles like scale, contrast, and lighting The Inspiration behind Myquillyn’s book, House Rules 38:39 – Embracing Imperfection Being a practicing imperfectionist Learning to take risks in home decor and life You can’t ruin something you already hate Connecting with Myquillyn + pre-ordering House Rules FEATURED QUOTES “I’ve never met a home I haven’t loved. I believe every home has a silver lining.” “I 100% believe it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.” “Where else can we take a risk if not at home?” Learn more about Myquillyn: Pre-order House Rules: https://www.amazon.com/House-Rules-Decorate-Every-Budget/dp/0800744748 The Nester https://thenester.com/ The Nester podcast https://thenester.com/podcast/ Myquillyn on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thenester/?hl=en Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly GET YOUR COPY TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

My guest this week is the incredible Mattie Jackson Smith. Mattie is an author, podcaster, and speaker whose life took an unexpected turn when she tragically lost her 28-year-old husband to a traumatic brain injury just weeks before their first anniversary. Her first book, Lemons on Friday, offers a raw and honest account of her journey through grief, providing solace and guidance to others navigating the lonely and difficult path of widowhood. Outside of her writing career, Mattie is the host of the podcast In Joy Life, where she encourages her listeners to choose joy in any season or circumstance. We dive deep into Mattie’s story today as she transparently shares what it looked like to wrestle with God in life’s darkest moments, ask hard questions, and bring her hurt and doubts to Jesus. She has so many powerful things to say about finding God in the questions and navigating life after loss. I absolutely loved getting to spend time with her in this episode and know you will too! 2:21 – Mattie 101 Born and raised in Nashville in a country music family A passion for creative writing Owning a wine bar in Nashville Losing her husband after a brain injury Mattie’s memoir, Lemons on Friday 14:04 – Honesty in Grief Sitting in anger with God Biblical examples of emotions and suffering Embracing your emotions instead of suppressing them 24:45 – Finding God in the Questions Lamentations 3 How writing helped Mattie begin to heal God's invitation to bring our questions, doubts, and struggles to Him 36:09 – Navigating New Beginnings The secondary losses that come with grief Redemption is not a replacement Navigating dating after experiencing loss Honoring the past while embracing the future Connecting with Mattie FEATURED QUOTES “I lived my life and the worst thing I could have imagined happened. And through that God not only has worked miracles in me through the grief and healing process, but he fulfilled this desire that he planted in my heart at 19.” “God not only can handle it but invites me to bring it to Him.” “What I hope people see from my life is you do have agency to choose joy, even in the worst of the worst of it.” Learn more about Mattie: Get your copy of Lemons on Friday https://www.amazon.com/Lemons-Friday-Trusting-Greatest-Heartbreak/dp/0785241272 In Joy Life podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/in-joy-life-with-mattie-jackson/id1667357187 Mattie on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mattiejackson/?hl=en Mattie on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/mattiejacksonofficial/