#391 Joy & Hope After Heartache with Mattie Jackson Smith

In today’s episode, I’m joined by the remarkable Ryan George. Ryan is the author of the book, Hurt and Healed by the Church: Redemption and Reconstruction After Spiritual Abuse.  He spent the first 20 years of his life in a cult, attending a series of independent fundamental Baptist (IFB) churches, including one where his dad was a pastor with ultimate authority. Later in life, Ryan was confronted with the devastating truth of his father's serial sexual abuse. Despite the trauma he experienced, Ryan didn't abandon his faith. After leaving the spiritually abusive IFB movement, he embarked on a 25-year journey of reevaluation and reconstruction. Today, through his blog, books, interviews, and spiritual adventure company, Dude Group, Ryan offers hope for those navigating their own paths of healing.  I do want to warn our listeners that this episode focuses on sensitive subjects like church hurt and sexual abuse. However, Ryan’s story is so powerful, and filled with hope, compassion, and healing.  2:48 – Ryan 101 Oldest of six homeschooled children + a pastor’s son Husband and adoptive father Adventurer and blogger Author of 3 books 6:51 – The Path To Healing  Discovering his father’s abuse Navigating the aftermath Sharing his story to help others 18:16 – Jesus’ Model Of Justice Jesus as a model for handling anger and betrayal Pursuing justice with compassion Seeking Heaven on Earth 33:31 – Finding The Real Jesus  What identifies a cult from a healthy church environment  Ryan’s experience with IFB churches Seeking out the authentic Jesus  Recognizing that churches have both moments of beauty and moments of failure 54:54 – Takeaways Being the person that confesses first Podcast recording stories Connecting with Ryan FEATURED QUOTES "Wounds from relationships are only healed in relationships... And I think that wounds from the church can only be healed not necessarily in a church building, but by people who also love Jesus."   “Give people the gift of going second... You have to start with yourself, or it can spin in some very horrible places. You become a bomb thrower…. I want to be the person that confesses first, so that people go, ‘Oh, that’s the real thing.’”   Learn more about Ryan: Instagram: https://www.booksbyryan.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ryan.george Ryan’s Website https://www.booksbyryan.com/ Check out Ryan’s books: https://www.booksbyryan.com/books/ Explorience: https://explorience.org/about/   Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com  http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn  Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG  ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb  Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8  Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv  About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

Melissa Kruger serves as the Vice President of Discipleship Programming at The Gospel Coalition. As an author and Bible teacher, she regularly teaches women in her community and speaks at conferences around the country. I’m so excited to have her on the show today to talk about her latest book, Parenting with Hope: Raising Teens For Christ in a Secular Age, and dive into the ins and outs of raising teenagers. We talk about transitioning with your children as they grow, modeling a life of faith, creating a prayerful home, and so much more. In a culture that often implies that the teenage years are miserable and difficult, Melissa encourages parents to not overlook the beauty and joy in this chapter. Whether you're a parent, teacher, or simply someone who influences young lives, this conversation is SO important, and I can’t wait for you to hear it! 2:00 – Melissa 101 Vice President of the Gospel Coalition Mother of 3 and wife Former math teacher An unexpected path to writing 16 books 6:42 – Changing The Parenting Narrative The negative narrative surrounding parenting teenagers and tweens Understanding the development stages of this time period Being gracious and patient with teenagers + adapting your parenting style 14:21 – The Gracious Home Vs. The Permissive Home Setting boundaries and allowing for mistakes A lack of structure leading to negative outcomes Setting boundaries as a parent Allowing children to face consequences in a safe and supportive environment 21:25 – Parenting Through Different Stages Transitioning parenting styles from one stage to the next Recognizing children as independent human beings Walking alongside your children as they make their own decisions Avoiding placing your identity in your children’s actions or behaviors 33:03 – Modeling Faith Being gracious with failure as a parent Setting the example by walking with God Incorporating prayer into everyday life as a family Connecting with Melissa FEATURED QUOTES “I think growing up with our teen in some ways, is remaining curious about who they are and not making assumptions about why they're pushing back on something.” “I think it's really tempting as a parent sometimes to place a lot of our identity and in our teen…we start trying to control who they become, rather than walk alongside them as they're becoming who God made them to be.” “Learning how to make a mistake is actually a life lesson.” “I always say aim for patterns, not perfection.”   Learn more about Melissa: https://melissabkruger.com/ Get your copy of Parenting with Hope https://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Hope-Raising-Christ-Secular-ebook/dp/B0CFTGDKJ1 The Gospel Coalition https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/   Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly GET YOUR COPY of ‘IF I DON’T LAUGH, I’LL CRY” TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv   About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

My guest this week is the lovely Myquillyn Smith, also known as The Nester. She is a New York Times and Wall Street Journal best-selling author of Welcome Home and Cozy Minimalist Home. For over a decade, she has been encouraging women to embrace imperfections and live boldly in their spaces through her blog. Myquillyn’s home in North Carolina has been featured in publications such as Better Homes and Gardens, Ladies Home Journal, Cottages and Bungalows, and more. As a practicing imperfectionist, she believes in the power of small changes, putting nail holes in the wall, and taking the time to make a place feel like home – even if you’re renting. I thoroughly enjoyed getting to know her, hearing her perspective on creating a space you’ll love, and learning more about her latest book, House Rules, which is set to release on April 23rd. I just know you’re going to love her too! 3:07 – Myquillyn 101 Starting “The Nester” in 2007 Learning to build a home by moving frequently Teaching universal decorating truths 9:55 – Making a Home The perfectly staged homes seen on social media Embracing imperfection in home decor Making your space feel like you 17:45 – Establishing Roots Where You Are Taking ownership of your space, even in rentals or temporary spaces The perfect circumstance will never come The power of simple changes in home design 29:06 – Design Insights The genesis of Myquillyn’s passion for decorating Understanding design principles like scale, contrast, and lighting The Inspiration behind Myquillyn’s book, House Rules 38:39 – Embracing Imperfection Being a practicing imperfectionist Learning to take risks in home decor and life You can’t ruin something you already hate Connecting with Myquillyn + pre-ordering House Rules FEATURED QUOTES “I’ve never met a home I haven’t loved. I believe every home has a silver lining.” “I 100% believe it doesn’t have to be perfect to be beautiful.” “Where else can we take a risk if not at home?” Learn more about Myquillyn: Pre-order House Rules: https://www.amazon.com/House-Rules-Decorate-Every-Budget/dp/0800744748 The Nester https://thenester.com/ The Nester podcast https://thenester.com/podcast/ Myquillyn on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/thenester/?hl=en Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly GET YOUR COPY TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

My guest this week is the incredible Mattie Jackson Smith. Mattie is an author, podcaster, and speaker whose life took an unexpected turn when she tragically lost her 28-year-old husband to a traumatic brain injury just weeks before their first anniversary. Her first book, Lemons on Friday, offers a raw and honest account of her journey through grief, providing solace and guidance to others navigating the lonely and difficult path of widowhood. Outside of her writing career, Mattie is the host of the podcast In Joy Life, where she encourages her listeners to choose joy in any season or circumstance. We dive deep into Mattie’s story today as she transparently shares what it looked like to wrestle with God in life’s darkest moments, ask hard questions, and bring her hurt and doubts to Jesus. She has so many powerful things to say about finding God in the questions and navigating life after loss. I absolutely loved getting to spend time with her in this episode and know you will too! 2:21 – Mattie 101 Born and raised in Nashville in a country music family A passion for creative writing Owning a wine bar in Nashville Losing her husband after a brain injury Mattie’s memoir, Lemons on Friday 14:04 – Honesty in Grief Sitting in anger with God Biblical examples of emotions and suffering Embracing your emotions instead of suppressing them 24:45 – Finding God in the Questions Lamentations 3 How writing helped Mattie begin to heal God's invitation to bring our questions, doubts, and struggles to Him 36:09 – Navigating New Beginnings The secondary losses that come with grief Redemption is not a replacement Navigating dating after experiencing loss Honoring the past while embracing the future Connecting with Mattie FEATURED QUOTES “I lived my life and the worst thing I could have imagined happened. And through that God not only has worked miracles in me through the grief and healing process, but he fulfilled this desire that he planted in my heart at 19.” “God not only can handle it but invites me to bring it to Him.” “What I hope people see from my life is you do have agency to choose joy, even in the worst of the worst of it.” Learn more about Mattie: Get your copy of Lemons on Friday https://www.amazon.com/Lemons-Friday-Trusting-Greatest-Heartbreak/dp/0785241272 In Joy Life podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/in-joy-life-with-mattie-jackson/id1667357187 Mattie on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/mattiejackson/?hl=en Mattie on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/mattiejacksonofficial/

Join me in this week's episode as I sit down with my dear friend and extraordinary human being, Kim Butler. Kim is the lead coach and founder of The Whiteboard Room, where she empowers creatives, leaders, and companies to unlock their true potential through one-on-one coaching, workshops, and speaking engagements. With a heart fueled by faith, family, and a passion for adventure (and a Diet Dr. Pepper), Kim's coaching journey has touched countless lives, including my own. I’m thrilled to have her on the show to share more about her story, her mentoring process and what it looks like to set personal and professional goals and walk them out in faith.  3:53 – Kim 101 Kim’s job at The Whiteboard Room Kim’s passion for helping people overcome obstacles and set goals Merging coaching and consulting The power of goal setting 8:25 – Following God’s Call Life lessons from a desk job Inspiring people to see the best in themselves Kim’s journey to the world race Sitting with God’s silence 16:32 – In The Waiting Sitting in the waiting Remaining faithful in God’s timing The careers that led Kim to where she is today 23:27 – The Creation of The Whiteboard Method How Kim created The Whiteboard Method What Kim’s mentor process looks like Working in alignment with your life 32:04 – A Work in Progress Real client stories Kim’s experience being Molly’s mentor The power of accountability Getting in touch with Kim FEATURED QUOTES “Goal setting became this like linchpin that I started to see, wow, there's so much power in this very simple thing. And nobody does it.” “Your platform is not your purpose. It is just the place that you get to live out your purpose.” “To know where you’re going and who you want to be, you have to know where you’ve been and who you are.” Learn more about Kim and The Whiteboard Room: https://www.thewhiteboardroom.com/ https://www.instagram.com/thewhiteboardroom/ https://www.facebook.com/THEWBROOM/ Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com  http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly GET YOUR COPY TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn  Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG  ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb  Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8  Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv  About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

The day is FINALLY here! Yesterday marked the official launch of my book, which means you can now purchase If I Don’t Laugh I’ll Cry everywhere books are sold! To make this moment even more special, I'm joined by the one and only John Stillman in today’s episode. Although he didn’t prepare his interview questions (but don’t you worry- he never fails to prepare a joke or two) we had a blast reminiscing about the journey of bringing this book to life. From the initial days of the writing process to receiving my first-ever feedback from early readers, every step of this adventure has been nothing short of incredible. I want to extend a heartfelt thank you to each and every one of you who has supported me on this journey. Whether you've preordered the book, left a review, or simply shared in the excitement, your support means the world to me. If you’re planning to get your hands on a copy soon, I can’t wait for you to read it! Until next time, happy listening + happy reading! 0:11 – Presidents, Past Boyfriends & The Making of a Memoir Selecting Millard Fillmore The boyfriend chapter The evolution of If I Don’t Laugh I’ll Cry 8:09 – … Now What? A second book? Anticipation of reader feedback The publishing process Molly’s favorite chapter 14:32 – Chapter By Chapter What it’s like to work with an editor Crafting an engaging narrative and chapter titles Where chapters of the book were written 21:07 – Completing the Book The book’s content and structure The hardest chapters in the book to write John’s dialogue in the book The Dark Knight + Googling “racketeering” 29:16 – Final Thoughts Positive feedback from male readers Designing the book cover Buying the book in person FEATURED QUOTES “The initial idea was really just to tell a debt story... I think as I began to work on the outline I realized that more of that backstory needed to be included than I think I originally thought.” “I think the thing I'm most looking forward to is hearing the stories of people who are reading it.” “I can say, I'm not I'm not sick of myself. That sounds really weird to say, but I mean… I'm not sick of this book. Like, I'm not over it. I am more excited about it than ever. And I'm just genuinely excited for people to read it.” Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly GET YOUR COPY TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib Audible: https://amzn.to/3ITcdm8 Kindle: https://amzn.to/3ITaSvv About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

This week, I'm thrilled to welcome the most special guest ever on my show- my dad. With the release of my book just around the corner (coming out next week- can you believe it?!) I couldn’t think of a better time to have him on the podcast. Together, we dig into some of the stories that are (and aren’t) talked about in my book. Join us as we laugh, reminisce, and share stories of the joys, the challenges, and everything in between. My dad has such powerful things to say about gratitude, slowing down, choosing love, and finding joy in the darkest of moments. This conversation is so special to me, and I am so excited to share it with you today.  Without further ado, let’s jump into this conversation with Tom Buckley.  3:34 – Tom 101 Tom’s upbringing + challenging relationship with religion Going to college, joining a fraternity, and career as a teacher Difficulties in marriage, battles with alcoholism and homelessness Tom’s journey to sobriety + spiritual growth 26:49 – Parenting Perspectives Reading the memoir Watching children make mistakes and learn from them 36:28 – Choosing Love Tom and Lynda’s marriage that defied the odds Prioritizing sobriety, God, and the good of the family The importance of love, respect, and kindness 48:28 – Rule 62 Looking for the good throughout Lynda’s sickness Not taking yourself too seriously Appreciating what life has taught you Tom’s favorite chapter in the book 48:28 – Life lessons at 80 Tom’s life today with Cindy Slowing down and appreciating the present Trusting that things will work out when you get out of your own way FEATURED QUOTES “That's what life is about. It isn't about failure, it's about getting back up.”  “If you take yourself too seriously, you just lose sight of all the things that really are important.” “In the ‘getting through it’ stage, you gain experience and knowledge that you can use to get out of it. You can find places for help and guidance that will work.” “You want to see who the winners are? Follow the laughter.” Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com  http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly Preorder my book:  PREORDER YOUR COPY TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn  Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG  ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb  Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder?  

PREORDER MY BOOK - IF I DON'T LAUGH, I'LL CRY TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn  Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG  ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb  Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib My guest this week is the hilarious Dustin Nickerson, a comedian from Seattle now suffering in Southern California. In 2020 he released his debut comedy special Overwhelmed, which is currently one of the highest-rated specials on Amazon Prime.  His humor has graced the screens of Comedy Central, Netflix with Kevin Hart, The Late Late Show with James Corden, Fox, and Hulu, and his stand-up clips have garnered tens of millions of views. Dustin is also the author of How To Be Married To Melissa and co-host of the podcast Don’t Make Me Come Back There.  If you want to laugh today, this is the episode for you! I have been a long-time fan of Dustin’s work and I’m so excited to have him on the show today to share his perspective on life, marriage, comedy, and more. You’re going to love this one! 12:07 – Dustin 101, Toby Keith, and Bojangles Dustin’s Twitter bio Molly’s first date at a Toby Keith concert Bojangles Biscuits Dustin’s fan base 21:46 – Set Bedtimes and Mouthguards Adult parties need bedtimes  Middle-aged friendships The beauty of marriage 27:40 – If I Don’t Laugh, I’ll Cry Dustin and Melissa’s viral video Dustin’s relatable humor Evolving as a comedian 33:44 – Finding Your Funny Authenticity in creativity Bombing in stand-up Understanding your audience 41:41 – The Solider Dog, The Late Late Show and Dustin’s Book Dustin’s memorable career moments  The dedication behind success Connecting with Dustin FEATURED QUOTES "The only way to get good at stand-up comedy is to do stand-up comedy." “No comedian is beloved by everybody. You're not trying to get everyone to love you. You're trying to get the people that do love you, or will love your stuff, to find you.” Learn more about Dustin: Dustin on Tour: https://www.dustinnickerson.com/ Dustin’s Comedy Specials: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCs2QQYow6VX9nDpDwCspiqQ Dustin on social media: https://www.facebook.com/dustinnickersoncomedy https://www.instagram.com/dustinnickerson/?hl=en https://twitter.com/DustinNickerson How To Be Married To Melissa: https://www.thomasnelson.com/p/how-to-be-married-to-melissa/ Don’t Make Me Come Back There Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dont-make-me-come-back-there-with-dustin-melissa-nickerson/id1434215707?mt=2 Melissa’s Target Outfit Video: https://www.tiktok.com/@dustinnickersoncomedy/video/7327676165953457451 Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com  http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly PREORDER MY BOOK - IF I DON'T LAUGH, I'LL CRY TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn  Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG  ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb  Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

We have such an incredible guest joining us for today’s show! Bola Sokunbi is a certified financial instructor (CFEI), money expert, speaker, and founder of Clever Girl Finance, one of the largest personal finance media platforms for women in the U.S. Bola received the 2021 Financial Education Instructor of the Year Award from the National Council of Financial Educators and is a 4x best-selling author of the Clever Finance Series and her book, Choosing To Prosper. She is passionate about helping women take control of their money stories and live life on their terms. Bola has such amazing things to say about breaking free from a limiting money mindset, being intentional, and giving yourself grace along your financial journey. I could not be more excited to have her back on the show with us today to share her story and wisdom with all of you! 4:49 – Bola 201 Bola’s life as a business owner, mom, and wife Releasing 4 books Bola’s career journey and mission Pursuing her business on her own terms 22:35 – Embracing Imperfections in Money Management “Low dough March” Tips for curbing impulsive spending Embracing imperfections and finding solutions that work for you 40:57 – The Wealth Paradox The cultural attitude towards money  Wealthy individuals being idolized and demonized Common misconceptions about wealth Money as a tool 51:24 – Final Takeaways Breaking free from a limiting money mindset Learning from others, being intentional, and open-minded to opportunities Changing dynamics in the financial planning industry Connecting with Bola FEATURED QUOTES “I had an idea that I wanted to build a business that would help women- that would empower women to not feel any shame or any judgment about their finances.” “Automation is a tool that can help you save and help you get out of debt faster, that can help you invest more. Leverage the tools and resources that can help you help yourself.” “Give yourself that grace. We’re all making money mistakes.” “Money is not anything. It's a tool. It doesn't make you good, it doesn't make you evil, it doesn't make you kind, it doesn't make you hideous… it… amplifies who you are. If you're a good person, you're a great person with money. If you're an evil person, you're a worse person with money. It’s a tool.” Learn more about Bola: https://www.clevergirlfinance.com/ Clever Girl Finance Book Series https://www.amazon.com/stores/Bola-Sokunbi/author/B076GP7FS3 Bola’s book, Choosing To Prosper https://www.amazon.com/Choosing-Prosper-Triumphing-Adversity-Achieving-ebook/dp/B0B4V644NT The Clever Girls Know Podcast https://www.clevergirlfinance.com/podcast/ Clever Girl Finance on social media https://www.instagram.com/clevergirlfinance/ https://www.youtube.com/clevergirlfinance https://www.facebook.com/clevergirlfinance/ Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly PREORDER YOUR COPY TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.

I am so incredibly excited to sit down with Joy Clarkson in this week’s episode. Joy wears many hats - from being a research associate in theology and literature at King’s College London to serving as the Books and Culture Editor for Plough Quarterly. Completing her Ph.D. in theology at the University of Saint Andrews, she's also the face behind the popular podcast Speaking with Joy and the author of several books, including her latest release, You Are a Tree, which we chat about today. This conversation was so rich, and it was such a delight to unpack some of the powerful metaphors found in scripture together. I hope you join us as we learn more about the inspiration behind Joy’s new book and talk about how God uses imagery and nature to help us better understand ourselves, our relationships, and the mysteries of life. 7:06 – Joy 101 Living in Scottland and teaching theology in London Joy’s books and podcast Joy’s love for tea, music, and baking 13:03 – The Origin Story for Joy’s book Frequently relocating as a child Joy’s lifelong connection with trees Living in one place for 27 months Exploring trees in Scripture  18:50 – Nature’s Lessons The profound metaphors found in nature God’s intentional creation The 7 metaphors explored in Joy’s book 26:44 – Metaphors of Mystery God’s intentional design woven into creation Embracing childlike wonder to see God’s presence and intentionality Using metaphors as tools to describe the mysterious aspects of creation 40:59 – Final Takeaways Unpacking “love is a disease” The metaphors of trees and travel Connecting with Joy FEATURED QUOTES “Scripture itself… it's not just a rulebook…doesn't give us a bunch of abstract, philosophical truths about God- it draws on our experiences of the natural world, and our experiences of light and height and depth, to help us understand ourselves and our relationship with God.”   “I think metaphors kind of keep us open to the many facets of things and the mystery of being alive.”   “We are created to belong in this world, and to have a relationship [with] it and to find meaning in it.”   “To be in the world and to flourish we do need to have roots, we do need to be like a tree and stay in one place. But even the best tree human life is still a temporary life and we still have this sense of belonging for a home that isn't here." Learn more about Joy: https://joyclarkson.substack.com/about Check out You Are a Tree: https://www.amazon.com/You-Are-Tree-Metaphors-Nourish/dp/0764238256 Check out Aggressively Happy: https://www.amazon.com/Aggressively-Happy-Realists-Believing-Goodness/dp/0764238248/?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_w=LfzV1&content-id=amzn1.sym.cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_p=cf86ec3a-68a6-43e9-8115-04171136930a&pf_rd_r=144-9553475-8087324&pd_rd_wg=LvZyp&pd_rd_r=6d7bd05c-79fe-4760-962e-083df08e9a43&ref_=aufs_ap_sc_dsk Speaking with Joy podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/speaking-with-joy/id1310614879 Joy on social media: https://www.instagram.com/joynessthebrave/?hl=en https://www.facebook.com/p/Joy-Clarkson-100063508753020/ https://twitter.com/joynessthebrave?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Eauthor Connect with me:  http://www.stillbeingmolly.com http://instagram.com/stillbeingmolly http://instagram.com/canilaughpod http://twitter.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/stillbeingmolly http://facebook.com/canilaughpod http://tiktok.com/@stillbeingmolly PREORDER YOUR COPY TODAY: Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/IIDLICbn Amazon: https://amzn.to/48VYFkG ChristianBook: https://bit.ly/IIDLICcb Target: https://bit.ly/3Shh3Q2 Walmart: https://bit.ly/3MmGVpJ Indie Bound: https://bit.ly/IIDLICib   About Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Can I Laugh On Your Shoulder? Podcast is a weekly podcast where we have honest conversations about faith, business, life, and everything in between. Hosted by speaker and author, Molly Stillman, her mission is to make you laugh, cry, and laugh till you cry. She wants to create a community of people who are unafraid to be themselves and have honest conversations about the things that matter most. Her vision is to create a safe space for people to explore their faith and share their stories and gifts with the world.