134: Managing Your Sex Drive in 2024 with Jason Vallotton and Cole Zick

Jason and Lauren welcome Dru Hammer to share her incredible journey of faith, resilience, and healing. Dru opens up about her challenging marriage, the painful process of divorce, and the profound role of her relationship with Jesus in restoring her heart. As the daughter of a man who entered a miraculous healing ministry, Dru has witnessed firsthand the transformative power of faith, forgiveness, and surrender.Throughout this conversation, Dru also reflects on raising children, including navigating her son’s (Armie Hammer) struggles and success in Hollywood, and the spiritual battles that families face. This inspiring episode offers deep insights into maintaining hope and faith through life’s darkest times. Don’t miss Dru's emotional story and the practical wisdom she offers to those facing their own challenges.Dru Hammer was married to the late Michael Armand Hammer until 2012 and they share 2 sons – in her book, she opens up about the ‘emotional pain she endured through a difficult divorce: https://druville.com/products/hammeredbookConnect with Dru:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/druhammer/?hl=enABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

In this lively and candid episode, Jason welcomes back his dear friend Cole Zick for their monthly conversation, and this time they dive into the intense topic of temptation and sex drive. It’s a friendly but heated back-and-forth debate as Jason and Cole take on one of the most prevalent challenges of today’s culture: managing our sex drives in a world that constantly bombards us with temptation.Humanity has stumbled into a "sexual storm," but is it possible to condition our sex drive to honor our spouses alone? Cole argues that not only is it possible, but it's also practically doable, pointing to James 4:8 and the call to resist temptation. Our sex drive and the devil are not the same, and through practice, we can train our minds to the point where frequent temptations lose their power over us.But Jason pushes back, exploring the difficulty of daily resistance, especially in a culture so saturated with sexual imagery and distraction. Together, they tackle the reality that lust is the willful participation in telling a story that isn’t ours—a dangerous narrative that pulls us away from our true purpose.They remind listeners that even Jesus was tempted in every way, meaning He understands what we go through. His death wasn’t just for us, but as us, offering us the strength to make powerful choices in the face of temptation. In this life, we may not be able to eliminate temptation completely, but that’s where the nobility lies—in overcoming, in saying no, and in making decisions that lead us toward freedom.If you’ve ever struggled with managing your sexual urges or wondered if it’s even possible to retrain your mind, this conversation is for you. Join Jason and Cole for a real, raw discussion that will challenge and encourage you to make powerful decisions in your daily battle.Connect with Cole Zick:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/colezick/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cczickABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

John Clancy’s life once revolved around Wall Street wealth—luxury yachts, fast cars, and a Manhattan penthouse. But his world came crashing down when he was indicted on charges of grand larceny and fraud, accused of defrauding thousands of investors. Facing 13 felony counts and years in prison, John found himself at a crossroads.A former stockbroker at the infamous Stratton Oakmont, featured in The Wolf of Wall Street, and Founder of Midwest Fitness Partners a franchisee of 50 Planet Fitness units with 10 under development, John experienced a dramatic transformation when he encountered the message of hope in the midst of his crisis. Ultimately, he was acquitted of all charges, but more significantly, John was set free through faith in Jesus Christ, finding forgiveness and new life.Today, John lives out his faith with his family and is the principal owner of several Planet Fitness locations, including the top-performing location in Allentown West, PA. Through his journey, John continues to give generously and share his story of redemption and grace.ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

Hey BraveCo Men! Tune in as Jay sits down with Rick Chavez, a man whose life has been radically transformed by God’s grace. Rick's journey is one of intense conflict, growing up in a chaotic home filled with violence while experiencing glimpses of God that only added to his internal turmoil. Despite Rick’s conflicting choices, His belief in the Lord remained. From a young age, Rick was caught in a whirlwind of drugs, gang life, and the weight of becoming a father at 15. Just days after his son was born, Rick faced a charge of attempted murder—a moment that pushed him further into a battle between addiction and his desire to be the father he never had.Rick’s life took a sharp turn when a public defender gave him a choice: rehab or prison. What he didn’t expect was that the rehab would be a deep dive into prayer, fasting, and hours immersed in the Word. Through this, God began to work in Rick’s heart, showing him the power of surrender and transformation.In this conversation, Jason and Rick discuss the struggles men face—feeling conflicted, inadequate, or uncertain about their roles in life. Rick's story is a powerful reminder that no matter how far gone we may feel, God is willing to move mightily in our lives, especially in our marriages and families. The question remains: will you show up and trust Him?Rick, now a leader in men’s core groups at Bethel, shares the lessons he’s learned through pain, redemption, and the power of showing up. Tune in to hear his story of how God can transform a yielded heart, no matter the past.ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

Hey BraveCo Men! Get ready for a powerful episode as Jason sits down with his dad, Kris Vallotton, to dive into the vital topic of spiritual intelligence. In today's world, this is our secret weapon as believers—it’s the distinct advantage that sets us apart and draws others in. Why? Because we can only access it through the Holy Spirit.When we receive Jesus Christ, our human spirit connects with the Holy Spirit and comes alive, transforming us from the inside out. Before that, our spirit was incomplete, deformed even, but with His presence, we’re made whole.Many people overlook the importance of spiritual intelligence, but it brings an irreplaceable dimension to our lives. The spiritual realm is very real, and it’s up to us to grow in our understanding of it. Unlike the world, we have the Holy Spirit living within us, empowering us to think beyond human capacity.The Holy Spirit doesn’t just rest upon us—He lives inside of us, giving us access to what Kris calls the third dimension of thinking. We have IQ (intelligence), EQ (emotional intelligence), and now SQ—spiritual intelligence—the mind of Christ. It’s not just thinking like Jesus; it’s thinking His actual thoughts.This episode is for anyone hungry to experience more of God in their everyday life. Tune in and be inspired!Connect with Kris Vallotton: Website: https://www.krisvallotton.com/ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

Hey BraveCo Men! Join us in today’s episode as Jay sits down with Cole Zick to dive into the profound insights Cole has gained while reading The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry by John Mark Comer. They explore the importance of reclaiming your idle time—those precious moments that are often stolen by distractions we barely notice. This conversation is a must-listen for anyone feeling the strain of a hurried life, looking for ways to reclaim their time and mental energy!Cole shares how, for many of us, these stolen moments are most often taken by our phones. He emphasizes that our best brain space is found in those idle times when we allow our minds to wander freely. It's in these moments that we solve problems, spark creativity, and generate fresh ideas. However, when we reach for our phones during those in-between moments, our brains operate at a lower level, robbing us of that valuable cognitive space.They also discuss the misconception that constant activity equals productivity. Cole sheds light on the pressure many feel to always be doing something, yet he challenges this notion, suggesting that there is a more focused and intentional way to live. Just because we have access to more information and education than ever before doesn’t necessarily mean we are becoming more intelligent, healthy, or productive.Tune in for practical advice on how to slow down, be more intentional with your time, and ultimately live a more focused and fulfilling life!Connect with Cole Zick:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/colezick/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/cczickABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

Hey BraveCo Men! Tune in as Jay is interviewed on Bethel Church's Transformation Center's podcast: It's Time for Breakthrough.In this compelling episode, Jason Vallotton takes us on a journey through the often-avoided territory of pain and emotional processing. As men, we're frequently taught to run from pain, to downplay it, or to stuff it down, believing that life is about avoiding discomfort at all costs. But what if the key to true healing and growth lies in doing the exact opposite?Jason challenges the cultural narrative around pain, explaining the importance of making room for our emotions—whether it’s anger, sadness, grief, guilt, or shame—and how embracing these emotions can lead to profound inner healing.This episode will dive into the nuances of different types of pain and offer practical steps on how to unpack and process them effectively. True strength isn’t about avoiding pain but about facing it head-on, understanding it, and allowing it to shape us into better, more whole individuals.Join us as we explore what it means to embrace the unseen parts of our emotional lives and discover the freedom that comes from processing pain with intention and grace. This is an essential conversation for anyone seeking deeper emotional and spiritual health.Connect with the Transformation Center:Website: https://www.betheltransformationcenter.com/podcast ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

Hey BraveCo men! In this episode, Jay interviews one of his closest friends, Jeff Sawyer, a devoted father of seven daughters, a loyal friend, and a relentless worker. Jeff’s journey is one of remarkable transformation, and we dive deep into his story, uncovering the raw and real experiences that shaped him.From the chaos of gang fights to the challenges of unexpected pregnancies, Jeff's life has been a whirlwind. He was there in the early days of Bethel Church, witnessing the Holy Spirit move in radical ways. His story begins with a tumultuous childhood, growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, and a troubled relationship with his mom and stepdad. This led him to the streets, where he quickly became involved in gang life, facing intense struggles and pain.At sixteen, Jeff’s life took a sharp turn when his girlfriend (now wife), Sue, became pregnant. He threw himself into work to provide, but their move to Redding brought a whole new set of challenges. With confusion, fear, and a marriage on the brink of collapse, Jeff eventually fled to LA, adopting a very different lifestyle and even dating other women.While Jeff was gone, Sue began attending Kris Vallotton’s home group, where she received a promise of redemption—that Jeff would return. Just as Jeff felt the pull from the Holy Spirit to go back home, he discovered his girlfriend in LA was also pregnant. Tune in to hear how Jeff’s story unfolds and the powerful ways God intervened in his life.ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

Hey BraveCo Men! Tune in as Jay interviews entrepreneur, Christian influencer, and mental health advocate, Mitchell Miles.Mitchell grew up immersed in ministry in Tulsa, OK, where he witnessed countless miracles firsthand, including the remarkable healings of his own mother—first from cancer and later from a stroke. Despite facing significant challenges during his middle and high school years, Mitchell found his footing when he ventured into the online marketing space in 2018. By 2020, he had risen to the top 1% of sales reps in his industry. This success led to his recruitment by Closers.io, where he served as Chief Revenue Officer, helping scale sales from $1 million to $30 million in under three years.Shortly after he was promoted to President, stepping down after one year to follow what God called him to do - sharing the message of Jesus and advocating for mental health. Mitchell believes God wants to reach the millennial and Gen Z generations right now. We’re poised for a global awakening and one of the most prominent issues amongst this group is their mental and emotional health. Connect with Mitchell:YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@mitchellmiles Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mitchellmilesconsulting/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themitchellmiles/ ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.

Hey BraveCo Men! Listen in as Jay and Cole recap the BraveCo Conference 2024. Beware, you might feel a little fomo while listening to this episode!We have all been in conferences where you are glued to your seats, just listening, and as men, it can be tough to participate in this style of learning, where the expectation of massive impact can leave you feeling a bit disappointed. At BraveCo, the conference model of “come, sit, listen and sing” has been a model we’ve sought to break out of. We’ve been exploring new options for how to engage men in a life-giving way that reforms the standard experience, where men get to feel the strength that comes with being seen, being part of a tribe, and engaging in ministry that is not reserved for the special few, but where the whole team contributes in a significant way. ABOUT BRAVECOWe live in a time where men are hunting for the truth and looking for the codebook to manhood. At BraveCo, we are on a mission to heal the narrative of masculinity across a generation; fighting the good fight together because every man should feel confident and capable of facing his pain, loving deeply, and leading a life that impacts the world around him.