THE ELLIMIST CHRONICLES ft Emily

*Special Copyright Strike Edition*The Morphy Boys watch Beastmaster. Rachel still has the mind of the warrior. Rachel jumps into a crocodile pit at the zoo to save a kid from being H*r*mbe’d. Tyler comes out very hard against Dog Rating. Rachel acquires a new morph and it doesn’t go well. The croco-daddy is causing problems for Rachel’s hormones. Rachel can’t stop morphing. The yeerks wanna recruit some Jonathan Taylor Thomas MFer to sway all teen girls to join The Sharing. Tyler shares childhood trauma again. Oops. This podcast is bristling with Yasmine Bleeth power. Burp the croc. The Morphy Boys share puberty awkwardness and wet dreams. BURP THE CROC! A new high in Animal Facts when Nate does the crocodile. Rachel gives birth before going on TV.

What up, shorms? Been a while eh? So the Morphy Boys are back. Have been back. Podcasting. For two years. This is the pilot episode of podcast called Hate Speech Podcast. The Morphy Boys + sometimes guest pick a topic and hate on it or defend it. This smorgasbord of hate is about someone a lot of the animorphs community knows and hates: THOMAS HEAP. He’s the Animorphs YouTuber that makes right wing content about Animorphs. He runs a large Animorphs discord where he allowed a Nazi to be a mod. He thinks animorphs is too woke. And he also thinks jk Rowling is a better writer than KA Applegate. Maybe some of you have this weird grudge with this little chud too. Past guest Greg certainly did as they are different sides of the same coin (British). We thought some of you might vibe with our new thing and we have a whole two years worth of podcast out there for you. Check it out wherever you get your podcasts. It’s called Hate Speech Podcast. https://hatespeechpod.com/

The Morphy Boys are back to finish the story. More war ethics. Can you find purpose in life after war has destroyed you? Can you find meaning in life after being suicidal? Arbron has. He goes from wanting his friend to kill him to wanting to die in a war he knows he can’t win. Lol owned. An andalite gets yeerkbrained. Lol double owned. Elfangor and Loren keep tying up Chapman after he continues to sell out the human race. Elfangor, Loren, and Visser 3 use The Time Egg. The Morphy Boys debate what it would be like to have sexual relations with dinosaurs. We’d smash. Would you? Elfangor gives up war to fuck, the more sensible choice. Wish more people would be like that, tbh. Then he goes out for cigarettes. The shocking origin of one of our faves is revealed and reviled. Remember: Don’t feel pain… Only feel good. All this and more in the thrilling conclusion of… The Andalite Chronicles Part 2!

This is it. The REAL last episode. Nate’s got a new toy and punishes Tyler with it. The takes are hot. The discourse is here. No animal facts. We listen to your messages. Look, I’m not gonna belabor this any further. This is the end. Everything everywhere ends. 160+ hours. 47 guests. But it started with two dudes exploring old stories and their friendship. Genuinely and for real: thank you for listening, even the losers and the haters.

This is it. It all ends here. But what is an ending if not a beginning everlasting? Semisonic closing time.

Time to meet god. Toobin! Featuring @EmilyBard20 THE GREAT RED DRAGON IS HERE Never take drugs.

Stop whatever you’re doing and watch RRR. Are you a Ram or a Bheem? Joining the Morphy Boys to talk about book 53 is Amanda (@GalacticUmami). All you ghost writers can kick rocks, because our main B in apartment 23 Kathy Apples is back in charge. Amanda gets in there hot with some wrestling facts. We assign some homework. Lots of homework. Tyler busts out a new impression. Nate has a libertarian checklist. People enjoy whatever you want, who cares? Visser 3 definitely has a macgruber book. What we want you to watch: RRR Everything Everywhere All At Once Nothing But Trouble Anaconda RoboCop Every episode of King of the Hill Goatse

Jon (@vernacularshift) joins the Morphy boys to discuss the necessary evil of book 52. Nate does not welcome Jon. Nate hates bearded men. Do you know rabbits scream? Scott Baculum. We also talk about what being a soldier does to your soul. To lighten it up, Tyler introduces a new game that’s taking the nation by storm!

Marco, Tobias and Ax form the finesses crew as they go forth to kidnap a governor! Nate thinks that bats are just leathery birds, Tyler attempts a moment of silence for our dear sweet dead dog (RIP Nepal). Lil regals us with stories of unemployment, being bombed, and Duck Facts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We also explore the Dave Matthews Band Chicago River incident and the non-existent PlayStation game Tank Commando here on Animorphing Time. Follow Lil @Broad__Abroad

Travis (@WlkngCntradctn) and Sasha return to talk about the Cassie book where she recruits disabled kids. I’m not gonna get longwinded about this but we tie morbius to this book.