200: The Biggest Reasons I Struggled With Anxiety, Panic Disorder, and Agoraphobia for 15 Years

I can hardly believe this is the 200th episode of A Healthy Push Podcast! 🎉 When I first started, I had no idea what I was doing. I just knew I wanted to share my story in hopes it could help others. And now, 200 episodes later, I’m more grateful than ever for this community and the work I get to do alongside you!In this special, personal episode, I’m opening up about the real reasons why I stayed stuck in anxiety, panic disorder, and agoraphobia for 15 years. Because let’s be honest, no one should have to struggle that long.If you’ve ever wondered why your recovery feels so hard or why progress seems slow, you might see yourself in my story. I’ll share the six biggest patterns that kept me stuck and how shifting them helped me finally move forward.Here’s what you’ll hear in this episode:Why constantly searching for causes and quick fixes actually made things worseHow problem-solving and overanalyzing kept me from truly healingThe trap of “white knuckling” through anxiety and exposuresThe role unprocessed trauma and unhealthy coping strategies played in my struggleHow shame, perfectionism, and hiding my struggles led to isolationThe importance of actually supporting and caring for yourself in recoveryMost importantly, I want you to know this: healing doesn’t have to take years, and it doesn’t have to be so hard.SIGN UP FOR PANIC TO PEACE HERE: https://www.ahealthypush.com/live-panic-to-peaceCHECK OUT MY MASTERCLASSES HERE AND START EXPERIENCING LOTS MORE PEACE, JOY, & FREEDOM: https://www.ahealthypush.com/anxiety-classesA HEALTHY PUSH INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ahealthypush/GET THIS EPISODE'S SHOW NOTES: https://www.ahealthypush.com/post/the-biggest-reasons-i-struggled-with-anxiety-panic-disorder-and-agoraphobia-for-15-years

When you’ve been struggling with anxiety, panic disorder, or agoraphobia for a while, it’s not just the fear that weighs on you. There are so many heavy emotions that creep in... comparison, grief, anger, hopelessness, shame, isolation, exhaustion, fear of the future, and self-doubt.In this episode, I’m getting really honest about these emotions, how they often show up, and why they’re actually a normal part of the recovery journey. I’ll share pieces of my own experience and what I hear from my students and clients all the time, so that you can feel seen, validated, and far less alone.I dive into:Why comparison (to your past self or others) can feel so crushing, and how to respond with compassion instead.How grief shows up in anxiety recovery and why acknowledging it is so important.The role of anger, hopelessness, and shame, and why they often signal deeper pain that needs attention.How isolation, exhaustion, and fear of the future make recovery feel even heavier.The truth about self-doubt, and the small but powerful flickers of hope that remind you healing is possible.If you’ve been carrying any of these emotions, I want you to know you are not broken and you are not failing. These feelings are part of the process, and with support and compassion, recovery is absolutely possible.SIGN UP FOR MY FREE LIVE CLASS - HOW TO BUILD TRUST & SAFETY IN YOURSELF: https://www.ahealthypush.com/trustGET ON THE PANIC TO PEACE WAITING LIST HERE: https://www.ahealthypush.com/live-panic-to-peaceCHECK OUT MY MASTERCLASSES HERE AND START EXPERIENCING LOTS MORE PEACE, JOY, & FREEDOM: https://www.ahealthypush.com/anxiety-classesA HEALTHY PUSH INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ahealthypush/GET THIS EPISODE'S SHOW NOTES: https://www.ahealthypush.com/post/hidden-emotional-struggles-of-anxiety

What happens when panic and anxiety take over so much of your life that even walking to the mailbox feels impossible? In this powerful conversation, former Panic to Peace student Mila shares her journey through anxiety, panic attacks, and agoraphobia, and how she slowly began rebuilding self-trust and freedom.We dive into:Experiencing anxiety as early as childhood and the shame that came with itThe terrifying panic attack that struck while driving across a bridge in New YorkHow her world became smaller and smaller until she felt completely trappedThe turning point that led her to seek out community and supportWhy nervous system work, self-compassion, and small, consistent steps made such a difference in her recoveryThis conversation is raw, real, and full of hope. If you’ve ever felt alone in your struggle with anxiety or agoraphobia, Mila’s story will remind you that healing is possible and that you don’t have to face it all on your own.SIGN UP FOR MY FREE LIVE CLASS - HOW TO BUILD TRUST & SAFETY IN YOURSELF: https://www.ahealthypush.com/trustGET ON THE PANIC TO PEACE WAITING LIST HERE: https://www.ahealthypush.com/live-panic-to-peaceCHECK OUT MY MASTERCLASSES HERE AND START EXPERIENCING LOTS MORE PEACE, JOY, & FREEDOM: https://www.ahealthypush.com/anxiety-classesA HEALTHY PUSH INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ahealthypush/GET THIS EPISODE'S SHOW NOTES: https://www.ahealthypush.com/post/agoraphobia-recovery-story-mila

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve tried everything to overcome panic and anxiety but nothing seems to work, you’re going to connect so deeply with today’s conversation.Louise, a Panic to Peace graduate from Australia, has been navigating panic and anxiety since her teens. For decades she tried it all... therapy, strategies, exposure, meditation, journaling, yoga, only to find herself stuck in the same exhausting cycle. She felt like something was fundamentally wrong with her, and that maybe she’d be dealing with panic forever.But this year, everything shifted.Inside Panic to Peace, Louise discovered what had really been keeping her stuck: the constant fight to “fix” herself, the endless search for strategies, and the lack of compassion for her own emotions. In this episode, she shares how learning to stop digging, practicing self-compassion, and approaching her experiences with more curiosity has helped her finally find real relief and trust in herself.We talk about:Louise’s decades-long struggle with panic and anxiety, and why strategies weren’t workingHow grief and unprocessed emotions can fuel anxietyThe mindset shifts that helped her stop trying to “fix” herself and start healingWhy self-compassion (and even letting herself cry!) has been so powerful in her recoveryThe wins she’s experienced in just a few months, and how she’s building confidence for the futureThis conversation is full of honesty, hope, and inspiration. Whether you’ve been struggling for months or decades, Louise’s story is a beautiful reminder that recovery is absolutely possible for you, too.SIGN UP FOR MY FREE LIVE CLASS - HOW TO BUILD TRUST & SAFETY IN YOURSELF: https://www.ahealthypush.com/trustGET ON THE PANIC TO PEACE WAITING LIST HERE: https://www.ahealthypush.com/live-panic-to-peaceCHECK OUT MY MASTERCLASSES HERE AND START EXPERIENCING LOTS MORE PEACE, JOY, & FREEDOM: https://www.ahealthypush.com/anxiety-classesA HEALTHY PUSH INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ahealthypush/GET THIS EPISODE'S SHOW NOTES: https://www.ahealthypush.com/post/from-decades-of-anxiety-panic-to-finding-real-relief-with-p2p-student-louise

This week’s episode is extra special because I’m joined by someone who knows this world really well, both personally and professionally. Mari is not only my podcast editor (so she’s behind the scenes every single week!), but she’s also someone who’s recovered from panic disorder and agoraphobia.In this episode, Mari and I sit down for a Q&A and answer some of the biggest questions that so many of us have asked while struggling with anxiety, panic, and agoraphobia, like:Why do I freak out when I feel stuck or trapped?Why do I still get panic attacks even though I “know what’s happening”?I’ve tried therapy, breathing, journaling… why isn’t anything helping long-term?I feel like I’m constantly on edge even when nothing is ‘wrong.’ I can't seem to relax. Why do I feel this way?Why does anxiety show up in places I used to feel safe?I hate how small my world has gotten. I used to do so much, and now everything feels like a big deal. Will I ever feel like myself again?We share personal experiences, practical tools, and lots of validation (because you are so not alone in what you’re going through). And honestly, this conversation is full of hope... because recovery is possible.If you’ve been feeling stuck, discouraged, or like your world has gotten really small, I know this episode will help you feel seen and remind you that you can move forward in really powerful ways.SIGN UP FOR MY FREE LIVE CLASS - HOW TO BUILD TRUST & SAFETY IN YOURSELF: https://www.ahealthypush.com/trustGET ON THE PANIC TO PEACE WAITING LIST HERE: https://www.ahealthypush.com/live-panic-to-peaceCHECK OUT MY MASTERCLASSES HERE AND START EXPERIENCING LOTS MORE PEACE, JOY, & FREEDOM: https://www.ahealthypush.com/anxiety-classesA HEALTHY PUSH INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ahealthypush/GET THIS EPISODE'S SHOW NOTES: https://www.ahealthypush.com/post/feeling-stuck-panicky-or-on-edge-let-s-talk-about-it

Does it ever feel like the more you work on healing, the worse your anxiety gets? Like you're finally taking action, doing the hard things, and showing up for yourself, yet your symptoms feel louder, your panic shows up more often, and it’s just... overwhelming?In this episode, I’m walking you through 5 powerful reasons why this reaction is not a setback, it’s actually a sign of real progress and healing. I’ll help you understand why feeling more doesn’t mean failure, and how to gently reframe what’s happening in your mind and body as you create safety, awareness, and new patterns.This conversation is for you if you’ve ever thought:“Why do I feel worse even though I’m doing the work?”“I thought I was getting better, but now I’m spiraling again.”“What if I lose the progress I’ve made?”Let’s untangle this together and remind you that your body isn’t breaking down... it’s releasing, rewiring, and healing.SIGN UP FOR MY FREE LIVE CLASS - HOW TO BUILD TRUST & SAFETY IN YOURSELF: https://www.ahealthypush.com/trustGET ON THE PANIC TO PEACE WAITING LIST HERE: https://www.ahealthypush.com/live-panic-to-peaceCHECK OUT MY MASTERCLASSES HERE AND START EXPERIENCING LOTS MORE PEACE, JOY, & FREEDOM: https://www.ahealthypush.com/anxiety-classesA HEALTHY PUSH INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ahealthypush/GET THIS EPISODE'S SHOW NOTES: https://www.ahealthypush.com/post/why-it-feels-like-your-anxiety-is-getting-worse-even-when-you-re-healing

So many of us are feeling disconnected, lonely, and unsure of how to build meaningful support, and if you struggle with anxiety, panic disorder, or agoraphobia, this can feel even more intense. In this episode, I’m joined by writer, poet, and integrative health coach Casey Molina for a heartfelt and eye-opening conversation about the role true community plays in our mental and emotional well-being.We talk about the difference between having friends and having community, why connection can feel so hard (or even inconvenient), and how our culture of individualism and instant gratification impacts our ability to show up for ourselves and others.Whether you’re craving deeper connection or simply wondering why loneliness feels so heavy these days, this conversation will help you feel seen, and remind you that you're not alone in feeling this way.We chat about:The difference between friendships and real communityWhy community can feel so hard to build (especially when you're anxious)The emotional toll of isolation and how it fuels anxietyWhy small, intentional steps can help you start building meaningful supportWhat you have to offer others, and how giving can be healingThe role of vulnerability, self-compassion, and unlearning in creating connectionHow to move from craving community to actually creating itCHECK OUT MY PRIVATE AHP COMMUNITY: https://www.ahealthypush.com/communityTAKE MY FREE QUIZ AND FIND OUT WHAT'S CAUSING YOU TO STAY STUCK: https://www.ahealthypush.com/blocking-quizA HEALTHY PUSH INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ahealthypush/GET THIS EPISODE'S SHOW NOTES: https://www.ahealthypush.com/post/craving-connection-why-community-is-so-vital-to-your-mental-health-with-casey-molina

If you’ve ever felt like your anxiety lives in your stomach, you’re not alone. Digestive issues like nausea, bloating, urgency, cramping, and food sensitivity are incredibly common, and incredibly frustrating, when you're dealing with anxiety and panic.In this episode, I’m sharing my personal experience with years of daily stomach symptoms, constant testing, food fear, and the anxiety spiral that so many of you know all too well.We’ll dive into:The powerful connection between your brain and your gutWhy your symptoms aren’t all in your head (but also not all about anxiety)The pain points of living with stomach anxietyWhy endless medical testing doesn’t always give you answersWhat actually helps - without restriction, obsession, or shameWhether you’ve struggled with IBS, panic around bathroom access, or food avoidance, this episode will help you feel seen and give you real tools to begin healing.FREEDOM FROM TOILET ANXIETY: https://www.ahealthypush.com/toilet-anxietyFEAR TO FREEDOM: FACING PANIC AND AVOIDANCE WITH CONFIDENCE - WITHOUT IT FEELING SO HARD: https://www.ahealthypush.com/fear-to-freedomTAKE MY FREE QUIZ AND FIND OUT WHAT'S CAUSING YOU TO STAY STUCK: https://www.ahealthypush.com/blocking-quizA HEALTHY PUSH INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ahealthypush/GET THIS EPISODE'S SHOW NOTES: https://www.ahealthypush.com/post/is-it-anxiety-or-your-stomach-understanding-the-gut-anxiety-connection

Let’s be honest... panic attacks freaking suck! Sometimes, you don’t need a mindset shift or a breathing technique, you just need someone to say, “Yep, this is really hard, and you’re not crazy for feeling this way.” In this episode, I’m keeping it real. I’m sharing some of my most intense, emotional, and yes, even funny panic attack stories to remind you that you’re not alone and you’re definitely not broken. Whether you've had one panic attack or a thousand, this episode is for you. It's part rant, part real talk, part deep validation, and (hopefully) a part of your healing journey.We’ll talk about:The panic attacks that left me speeding down back roads or jumping curbs in drive-thrus (yep, seriously)What it really feels like in your body and mind when you're mid-panicWhy panic disorder leaves you feeling unsafe and disconnected from yourselfThe harm panic can cause (even if it’s “just anxiety”)Why it’s totally okay to say “F*ck panic attacks” and still healWhat I wish someone had said to me when I was strugglingThis one is raw, vulnerable, and packed with truth. So if you're deep in it right now, know this: You are not broken. You’re not weak. You are healing, even if it doesn’t feel like it.FEAR TO FREEDOM: FACING PANIC AND AVOIDANCE WITH CONFIDENCE - WITHOUT IT FEELING SO HARD: https://www.ahealthypush.com/fear-to-freedomOVERCOMING THE SYMPTOMS & PANIC ATTACKS: https://www.ahealthypush.com/symptomsTAKE MY FREE QUIZ AND FIND OUT WHAT'S CAUSING YOU TO STAY STUCK: https://www.ahealthypush.com/blocking-quizA HEALTHY PUSH INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ahealthypush/GET THIS EPISODE'S SHOW NOTES: https://www.ahealthypush.com/post/f-ck-panic-attacks-seriously

Avoidance is something we all do, especially when it comes to anxiety, panic, and agoraphobia, but it’s also what keeps us stuck. So I've dedicated an entire conversation to unpacking avoidance: why it happens, how it shows up (even in sneaky ways), and what’s really at the root of it. Because I don't want you to stay stuck!From fear of feeling to perfectionism and a lack of self-trust, I break down the most common reasons people avoid and helps you understand that avoidance isn’t weakness, it's a normal human response. Most importantly, I share what it actually takes to begin facing your fears without white-knuckling your way through.I dive into:Why avoidance feels like relief (but keeps you stuck)The fear of feeling and how it fuels avoidanceHow past experiences with anxiety shape present-day avoidanceThe role of self-trust in recoveryWhy exposure therapy might not have worked for you, and what to do insteadHow perfectionism, shame, and overwhelm contribute to avoidanceSteps to start building real safety and trust with yourself and your nervous systemFEAR TO FREEDOM: FACING PANIC AND AVOIDANCE WITH CONFIDENCE - WITHOUT IT FEELING SO HARD: https://www.ahealthypush.com/fear-to-freedomTAKE MY FREE QUIZ AND FIND OUT WHAT'S CAUSING YOU TO STAY STUCK: https://www.ahealthypush.com/blocking-quizA HEALTHY PUSH INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/ahealthypush/GET THIS EPISODE'S SHOW NOTES: https://www.ahealthypush.com/post/you-re-not-weak-here-s-why-you-re-avoiding-your-fears-and-what-to-do-about-it