Breaking Generational Trauma Without Hating My Dad

 A few years ago, I joked with someone that my twelve-year-old still ran to the slides at the park faster than his two-year-old sister. I remember wishing he wouldn’t. The person I told said, “In a couple years you’re going to wish he was still running to the slides. Do not rush it.”My son just started high school.In this episode I read my essay about raising a teenager while quietly missing the boy he used to be. The goodnight ritual we did for eight years that he no longer finds necessary. The car rides that used to be an hour of talking and are now an hour of AirPods. The pushback, the “why,” the ignored requests, and why I think instant obedience tends to be fear dressed up in better manners.I also talk about the conversation I finally had with him about all of it, and the one sentence I landed on.This podcast episode releases on 10/13 @ 5AM. If you'f like to read or share the essay, it releases at 6AM on my Substack here: https://odeani.substack.com/publish/post/219959180----------------------------------ResourcesWork With Me 1:1: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/pages/1-1-coaching-service365 Dad Journal: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/products/365-dad-journal-physicalSubscribe to the Inner Journey Dad Newsletter: https://odeani.substack.com/Free Shadow Work and Inner Child Guide for Dads: https://threesixfivedad.kit.com/innershadowSend us Fan Mail

Putting the phone down is a great first step toward being a present dad. But then what? In this episode I talk about the three types of fathers most of us grew up with, why so many dads get stuck somewhere between "around" and truly present, and what actually closes that gap. I also share what presence looks like with a 14-year-old son versus a 4-year-old daughter, and the simple shift that finally got my teenager to sit down and watch a movie with me.In this episode:The three types of fathers and why most dads are hovering between the second and thirdWhy putting the phone down is only the beginning of real presenceHow presence looks different with a teenager than it does with a toddlerWhy we get stuck when connection requires real emotional effortThe Remember the Titans moment and what it taught me about meeting my son where he isWhy presence means doing what your kids love, not just what you loveFree Guide for Dads: https://threesixfivedad.kit.com/innershadow365 Dad Journal: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/products/365-dad-journal-physical Work With Me 1:1: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/pages/1-1-coaching-serviceSubscribe to the Inner Journey Dad Newsletter: https://odeani.substack.com/Send us Fan Mail

Most co-parenting conflict isn't really conflict. It's two people misreading each other. In this episode I break down the four things I actually use to co-parent peacefully with two different moms; including why I stopped assuming ill intent, why I replaced long text messages with voice notes, and the one question that ended a fight I was losing before it started.Free Starter Guide for Dads (SEE, STEADY, LOOSEN, RETURN): https://threesixfivedad.kit.com/innershadowGrab the 365 Dad Journal: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/products/365-dad-journal-physicalWork With Me 1:1 Coaching: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/pages/1-1-coaching-service-----------------------Key Themes:The Root Cause of Co-Parenting FrictionThe Danger of Assuming Ill IntentWhy You Should Stop Sending Long TextsPrioritizing Your Child's Needs Over Your OwnRedefining the Concept of My TimeSend us Fan Mail

If you struggle to stay consistent with your meditation or mindfulness practice, you are probably making one critical mistake: you are doing it for yourself. In this episode, I share why the typical self-development approach to meditation eventually leads to a plateau, and how shifting your reason from selfish to selfless makes the practice completely non-negotiable. I open up about the painful $80,000 custody battle that forced me to look into Eastern philosophy, how my teenage son holds me accountable to my practice, and what waking up at 4:00 AM for rowing practice taught me about the psychology of showing up. If you want to be a patient, grounded, and emotionally safe father, this reframe will change everything.What We Cover:The real reason you keep falling off track with your daily meditation and journaling habitsHow a brutal three-year custody battle led me to mindfulness and Buddhist philosophyWhy it is so easy to negotiate our own self-improvement but impossible to skip out when others are depending on usThe 4:00 AM rowing team analogy that will completely shift how you view your daily routinesHow to transition your mindfulness practice from a personal goal to an act of service for your kidsResources: Free Starter Guide for Dads (SEE, STEADY, LOOSEN, RETURN): https://threesixfivedad.kit.com/innershadow 365 Dad Journal: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/products/365-dad-journal-physical Work With Me 1:1 Coaching: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/pages/1-1-coaching-service Subscribe to the Inner Journey Dad Newsletter: https://odeani.substack.com/Send us Fan Mail

Most men were raised in environments where expressing hard emotions wasn't modeled, allowed, or encouraged. In this episode, I share what happened when I hit a personal low point and called my father expecting nothing, and how his surprising reaction completely shattered my assumptions about emotional connection. We dive deep into breaking the generational cycle of stoicism, why learning to sit with your own uncomfortable feelings is a prerequisite for parenting, and what it felt like when my 14-year-old son looked me in the eyes and said, "Dad, I feel broken." This episode is a guide for any father who wants to create a safe space where his children never feel like they have to hide their pain.What We Cover:Why millennial dads struggle to hold emotional space when their own parents never held it for themThe unexpected phone call with my father during my MBA program that changed our entire relationshipWhy you must master sitting with your own hard emotions before you can guide your kids through theirsThe moment my 14-year-old son told me "Dad, I feel broken" and why I viewed that as a major fatherhood winPractical steps to teach your children, especially your sons, that vulnerability is an act of strengthResources:Free Starter Guide for Dads (SEE, STEADY, LOOSEN, RETURN): https://threesixfivedad.kit.com/innershadow365 Dad Journal: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/products/365-dad-journal-physicalWork With Me 1:1: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/pages/1-1-coaching-serviceSubscribe to the Inner Journey Dad Newsletter: https://odeani.substack.com/Send us Fan Mail

Improve your intentional parenting by applying Oliver Burkeman's productivity philosophy to your daily schedule as a father. Build deep connections with your kids by prioritizing what truly matters.Many ambitious fathers struggle to balance professional goals with family life, often resulting in fake quality time that leaves everyone feeling disconnected. Whether you are raising a teenager or a toddler, active fatherhood requires a shift in how you view your limited time. 📖 Grab the 365 Dad Journal: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/products/365-dad-journal-physical 🤝 Work With Me 1:1 Coaching: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/pages/1-1-coaching-service 🎁 Free Starter Guide for Dads (SEE, STEADY, LOOSEN, RETURN): https://threesixfivedad.kit.com/innershadow Key Themes:Oliver Burkeman's Time Principle for DadsThe Realities of Modern FatherhoodHow to Stop Procrastinating on Quality TimeFake Quality Time vs. Real Family ConnectionChoosing What Matters as an Active FatherBuilding Emotional Trust With Your TeenagerMicro-Moments of True Fatherhood ConnectionABOUT THREESIXFIVEDAD:Welcome to ThreeSixFiveDad by Odeani McBean. This is a space dedicated to intentional fatherhood, growth, discipline, mindfulness practice, and real-life experiences. We focus on deep shadow work, nervous system repair, and the inner work required to close the gap between who you are and who you want to be as a dad. Subscribe for raw, honest conversations about breaking generational cycles and mastering your reactivity.CONNECT WITH ME:📧 Join the Inner Journey Dad Newsletter: https://odeani.substack.com/🌐 Visit My Website: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/ Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, I break down the raw reality of being ignored as a dad and why men must step outside of the "just a provider" box to become emotional nurturers. 📥 RESOURCES FOR DADS:Free Inside-Out Dad Blueprint: https://threesixfivedad.kit.com/innershadowGrab the 365 Dad Journal: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/products/365-dad-journal-physicalWork With Me 1:1 (Coaching Application): https://www.threesixfivedad.com/pages/1-1-coaching-serviceIf this talk resonated with you, make sure to subscribe to the channel and share this episode with another father who might be struggling to fill his own cup today. I appreciate you all.Key Themes:You are not aloneBeing okay with expressing your feelingsFind proof that you matterEgo And Childhood RootsFinal EncouragementSend us Fan Mail

In this episode, I share how I caught myself repeating my father's mistakes, and the three shifts I used to stop parenting how I was parented and build real closeness with my kids.Key Themes:Recognizing the Childhood Father GapShifting to a Presence MindsetAuditing Your Life Through Self-ReflectionHealing the Lineage Through Hard Conversations📥 RESOURCES FOR DADS:Free Inside-Out Dad Blueprint: https://threesixfivedad.kit.com/innershadowGrab the 365 Dad Journal: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/products/365-dad-journal-physicalWork With Me 1:1 (Coaching Application): https://www.threesixfivedad.com/pages/1-1-coaching-serviceSend us Fan Mail

Ever feel overwhelmed by dad guilt after snapping at your kids? You aren’t a bad father; you might just be unconsciously repeating history and parenting the exact way you were raised.In this episode, we break down how to stop beating yourself up and uncover the real root causes of negative generational cycles in fatherhood. True change doesn't come from forcing perfection; it comes from shifting from reaction to reflection. By using self-awareness, deep empathy, and practical mindfulness, you can heal your past and change the trajectory of your family line.🎁 GET THE FREE STARTER GUIDE: Stop repeating history. Grab your copy of The Inside-Out Father Blueprint, a 4-part practice for high-achieving dads who want to move from reaction to reflection: https://threesixfivedad.kit.com/innershadow 📥 MORE RESOURCES FOR DADS:📘 Grab the 365 Dad Journal: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/products/365-dad-journal-physical💼 Work With Me 1:1 (Coaching Application): https://www.threesixfivedad.com/pages/1-1-coaching-serviceWhat we cover in today’s talk:The Power of Empathy: How forgiving your own father breaks the chain.Dependent Origination: Understanding the deep-rooted causes behind your parenting triggers.Cultivating a Mindfulness Practice: 3 sustainable habits (meditation, journaling, and mindful walking) to regulate your nervous system.If this talk resonated with you, please leave a 5-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps other fathers find this brotherhood. I appreciate you all.Send us Fan Mail

You're trying to do too much, copying the wrong people, and acting "too much" like someone you're not yet. Those three habits are ruining your growth as a dad. Grab the 365 Dad Journal: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/products/365-dad-journal-physicalWork With Me 1:1: https://www.threesixfivedad.com/pages/1-1-coaching-serviceFree Shadow Work Guide for Dads: https://threesixfivedad.kit.com/innershadow  --------------------Key Themes: Busy Dad Self GrowthMistake One- Too Many HabitsPick Your Top ThreeMistake Two - Copying OthersMistake Three- Future Self TrapMeet Yourself Where You AreRecap And Next Steps----------------------Send us Fan Mail