Lessons from Watering Plants | The Power of Systems and Habits [Episode 326]

We have had a wonderful summer and a lot going on as we get back into life at home, gardening, homeschooling, and friendships. There has also been a lot going on behind the scenes with the podcast, which is what I want to share with you in this week’s Thriving Thursday email so you can know what to expect. Usually by now I've gotten the next year's planner edited, ordered, shipped to my home, and I've taken photos and gotten ready to share it with all of you. This year I have the draft of the 2025 planner written, but it still needs to be created. What I've been focusing on the last few months is reading the productivity books that have come out in the last few years, taking a few productivity courses, and translating the principles that apply to us as moms into the planner and courses that go along with the planner. I am excited to share these little but effective tweaks with you soon! I also sent an email out earlier this year to everyone who has purchased the Made to Soar: Next 90 Days program looking for feedback about what was working and what wasn't working. Two really important points emerged from that feedback. First, 90 days is a really long time to focus on something and it led to feelings of discouragement when interruptions happened or it took longer to get through the course material. At the same time I've seen so much progress in the lives of the moms I've been working with for nearly 4 years in Soaring Mothers Society (which is the group coaching program that goes along with the Made to Soar DIY course). And the reality is that the baby steps add up to incredible change.  So the first big change I'm announcing in this email is that the Made to Soar: Next 90 Days program name is changing to Win Your Week Academy. With this focus on creating a winning week you will also experience winning months, quarters, and years. Everyone who has already purchased the Next 90 Days program will get access to this update. Second, many moms struggled with working on the program because they were in survival mode, re-entry, or buried in the work of normalizing. Which is absolutely right because that content is really focused on the later stages of normalizing, exploring, and thriving. And this is where I realized that I had a major gap I needed to fill and where the idea of the Surviving to Thriving Toolkit came about. This is something I've been making baby steps of progress on for months and I'm looking forward to announcing the beta launch of this program soon. The women in Mom Matters Too have also been so patient this year as we started that new program and moved around to 3 different tech platforms until we found our home. This was a huge undertaking but I am really thrilled with the results. So much so that I am going to be switching all of the products and courses over to this platform so everything will be in one place. This is a huge project but will smooth things out for everyone moving forward. With all of these large projects on the horizon, I have made the decision to take my first break ever since starting the podcast nearly seven years ago. This way my team and I can divert all of our energy and attention to getting the 2025 planner ready to go, creating the new Win Your Week Academy program, creating the Soaring Mothers Toolkit, and switching all other digital products to the new platform. I already have many more episode ideas and raw footage recorded for the podcast, so there is part of me that thinks I can just keep going with both. But honestly, it is a relief to decide to go all in on one thing and create a really strong foundation with things that will truly serve you and help you in ways that I can't do through the podcast. And once we have solid footing, it will be wonderful to put energy and attention back towards bringing you great conversations and insights on the Thriving in Motherhood Podcast again. During the break you can listen to any of the 330 previous episodes here: https://thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/podcast/ I will continue sending emails on Thursday to give you behind the scenes progress updates and let you know when episodes will be released again as the time gets closer. I look forward to working with some of you in the Surviving to Thriving Toolkit beta program! You can get on the waitlist here to be the first to know when the doors are opening. 

I went out to harvest cucumbers and green beans with my kids early one morning. The plants looked amazing, with vines reaching everywhere. At first glance, it looked like we would come out with nothing to show for our months of effort water, picking off bugs, and weeding. But after we slowed down and searched for a while, we began to see lots of vegetables (we found 17 cucumbers and an entire colander of green beans!). Just like the vegetables hidden in the garden, sometimes we get so caught up in the daily grind that we miss all the amazing things we're accomplishing as moms. That's why a monthly review is SO important! It is when we slow down and look for all of the fruit that we get to celebrate and enjoy our daily efforts. You can do a monthly review on a piece of paper or journal, or use the Thriving in Motherhood Planner. There's a page each month for doing this monthly review so you never have to remember that it's time to sit down and reflect again. If you want a little more accountability and motherhood camaraderie we'd love to have you join us in our monthly Soaring Mothers Society Calls. These monthly calls are a fantastic way to connect with other moms, share your review progress, and get inspired. And here's my favorite part of the whole process (and a way to battle the mom guilt that so easily creeps in): After your monthly review, share it with your kids and husband at the dinner table! Share the things you are learning and discovering. Share your accomplishments. Reflect and remember the things you've done as a family and the places you've gone. Share what you've been reading. And then ask them about their progress too! Your kids want to celebrate with you, be proud of you, and enjoy seeing your success and growth as much as you enjoy seeing theirs. This is a powerful way to create a strong family culture of motivated, growing individuals who cheer each other on. Grab a piece of paper, join our Soaring Mother Society Calls, or use your planner – whatever works for you. Just take that time to reflect, celebrate, and share your joy with your family. I can't wait to hear about all the amazing things YOU'RE accomplishing! I'm cheering you on! Jessica

As mothers, we often find ourselves navigating the challenging journey from merely surviving our days to truly thriving. Over the years, I've had the privilege of working with many amazing moms, and I've noticed some common pitfalls that can make this journey feel even more daunting.  Today, I'd like to share some insights to help smooth your path. In our latest podcast episode, we dive into the five biggest mistakes moms make as they transition from survival mode to thriving.  Here are the five key mistakes to consider: Focusing on Circle of Concern vs. Circle of Influence: It’s crucial to distinguish between what you can control and what you can’t. By redirecting your focus to your circle of influence, you empower yourself to make meaningful changes. When I was pregnant with my third baby, I found myself overwhelmed by everything outside my control. A wise friend encouraged me to focus on my circle of influence rather than my circle of concern. It was a life-changing moment that taught me to concentrate on what I could truly impact. This shift in perspective enabled me to put my energy into actions that mattered, rather than getting bogged down by things I couldn't change. Phone Scrolling: While it's a common escape, it can hinder your ability to think clearly, connect meaningfully with your family, and solve your problems with God. Reducing phone time can significantly improve your ability to cope and connect. Getting Stuck in Phases: Whether it's survival mode, normalizing routines, or exploring new interests, it's important to recognize when it's time to move on and adapt to new phases in your motherhood journey. I go into great detail about what it looks like to get stuck in each phase. Focusing on Suffering: It's easy to dwell on the hardships of motherhood, but shifting your mindset to focus on what you’re learning and how you’re growing can make a significant difference. Seeing challenges as opportunities for growth fosters resilience. This can't be rushed - it takes time to grieve or work through the emotions and realities of things being hard or different than you anticipated. But I have also learned that it is a skill set and a habit of thinking that can grow stronger with practice. Limiting Strategies to Simplify Life: I spent years thinking there are only a couple of ways to make life easier, like sending kids to Grandma's or eating out. However, there are countless strategies to improve your day-to-day, even without these conveniences. This is why I'm creating a brand new program, The Surviving to Thriving Toolkit! If you want to be the first to know any details and get on the waitlist, you can head over to https://thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/toolkit. Additionally, if you're seeking more support and community, consider joining Mom Matters Too {https://thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/mom-matters-too} where we work on micro habits together. These calls are a fantastic opportunity to connect with other moms, share your progress, and gain inspiration. The price is going up at the end of July so now is the perfect time to join! Remember, every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory. Let's celebrate these wins together. I can't wait to hear about all the amazing things you are accomplishing!

Currently, we are in a season in our lives that could be temporary - or we could be here to stay for a long, long time. I'm very good at temporary. Moving has been my lot in life, growing up with my parents (I went to 10 schools by the time I graduated high school) and since getting married (we've lived in 6 homes). But living somewhere where staying is a possibility? Now that has been a hard thing for my mind to grasp.  In this week's episode, I'm sharing a thriving thought that has come out of this struggle for me and also how it applies to motherhood. We love where we live. We love the smaller home that is easy to clean, the updates and DIY projects we've done to customize the space, the huge garden we've put in the backyard, the rock climbing wall we just built, and the space our kids have to roam and play outside. But as we've made each of these changes and have more ideas for the future (front yard orchard and herb garden), I've often wondered if it is even a good idea to put our time, energy, and finances into something if we aren't staying here.  After much prayer and discussion with God for years I got the new understanding that I was seeking: Yes, embrace the current resources you have now to the fullest while you have them. Enjoy the spaces, the yard, the garden, the place to develop skills and do projects. Embrace the hours the children get to roam and create and build and picnic and imagine. Embrace all of it while you have it. And when things change, you don't need to replicate what you had here. You can embrace the new circumstances to the fullest and enjoy the differences. Then I realized that we weren't just talking about houses. We were also talking about my children and the seasons of motherhood. It is going so fast. My oldest is turning 11 and what felt like forever in those early years with 3 kids four and under is now moving at lightning speed. But I don't need to focus on the inevitable changes coming. Instead, embrace the season we are in now. Invest in it fully with my time, focus, and energy. And when this season changes with the children continuing to get older, embrace that one too. And this isn't meant to get us caught up in mom guilt and focus on the limitations we have or the things we can't do that would count as "embracing things to the fullest". If you are in a hard season right now, it can look like just being present and sitting down and watching the same movie with your kids instead of scrolling or consuming your own content. Just BEING together counts. In fact, each step along the five-step path from surviving to thriving will look different. This is why I'm creating the Surviving to Thriving Toolkit - to empower you to embrace where you are to the fullest with all the realities of motherhood and life coming at you. You can learn more at thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/toolkit

It can be so hard to feel like we are just surviving our days and see a huge list of all that needs to happen, but in reality all we need to do is focus on managing today and making tomorrow a little bit better too. Each of the five phases along the path have a specific focus, systems, and skills so that you can dramatically shorten your to-do list and put your energy towards the specific problems you are facing right now.  In this weeks episode I'm sharing the big problems with you along each phase so you can more clearly identify where you are at along the path and what you can let go of in the season you are in. We work on solving each of these problems in the Surviving to Thriving Toolkit. You can learn more and join the waitlist to be the first to know about it here: https://thrivinginmotherhoodpodcast.com/toolkit

We have been working on a huge project to weed all of the garden pathways and lay down weed cloth to hopefully prevent future out of control weeks from taking over. One morning I got out there super early and saw all of the beautiful plants strong, but by 10am they were withering away in the hot sun.  I realized that we've had many hot, dry days and I hadn't done much watering. It was a crazy ten minutes as I had kids melting down and a garden that was on it's way to dead that we had to take care of right then. And it was this moment that I learned a powerful lesson that I'm sharing in this weeks episode. It hit me: just like those thirsty plants, we moms can feel drained if we don't take care of ourselves regularly. But here's the good news! Imagine if you had a drip irrigation system for your garden. No more daily watering, just consistent nourishment that lets your plants flourish. That's the power of micro-habits and systems for moms! Think of these habits as your drip line. Maybe it's a morning routine that sets your day up for success, or a dedicated time for quiet reflection. These small but consistent actions "water" your well-being, freeing up energy for the things you truly enjoy. Just like with that drip irrigation, once you have those systems in place, you can spend more time savoring the fruits of your labor! Imagine ENJOYING your harvest, planting a metaphorical fruit orchard of new goals, or spending more quality time with your family. Ready to ditch the inconsistency and effort of using a watering can and create sustaining micro habits?  Join me in the Mom Matters Too program this July! We'll dive deep into creating those powerful micro-habits and systems that will allow you to have the energy, clarity, and focus to work on the things that truly matter to you. (Plus, the price goes up in August, so don't miss out!) Head over to Mom Matters Too and get started on your journey to a more joyful, fulfilling motherhood!

If you are looking for a fun and new activity to do with your kids I recommend making a jar of sauerkraut this summer! It took me 2 years and five failed batches before I finally figured out all of the nuances of this process, but it was well worth the wait.  Today I'm sharing 6 mistakes to avoid and what to do instead so that your first batch can be successful and a fun check on your summer bucket list. 6 Mistakes to Avoid When Making Sauerkraut Not shredding finely enough: Use a cheese grater or food processor with grating attachment Using not enough or too much salt: Add 2T for every 3 cabbages (2/3 T for one cabbage) Filling the jars too much: Leave 2-3 inches at the top so there is room for the weight and brine Not using the outside cabbage leaf to contain everything: Use the outside 2 cabbage leaves to cover the shredded cabbage and make sure all of the pieces are submerged over the brine Not having adequate weight/pressure to hold things down: Rocks work but the whole process was cleaner, didn't smell or attract fruit flies when I got this weight and self burping lids/ Not waiting long enough: It takes a full two weeks even here in the south where it is hot for the sauerkraut to finish. It will switch from a light green to a light yellow/brown color throughout the entire jar. Tips for Making Sauerkraut with Kids Decide whether this is a good time to work with just one child or do everyone together. Let everyone know what the whole process is ahead of time. Prep everyone to take turns and let them know what their turn is going to be. Know it doesn't have to be perfect and it can be messy. Do it at a time when you aren't stressed or starving because it's not fun to cook with other people then. Turn it into a science experiment and have them track the color until it is done and see how long it takes.

If you've ever thought about gardening with kids my conversation with Tiana Woodbury is for you! She has gardened with her three young children for many years in many different types of gardens (container, community, and her own backyard) and is full of real, practical tips.  One of Tiana's superpowers is making the ordinary magical and she brings that to her gardening endeavors as well, but in very simple and doable ways. I certainly had lots of take-aways and things that I want to do a little differently and I'm sure you will too.

Earlier this year I shared what I did to make my smartphone less “smart” (Digital Minimalism in 2024). Since then, our family has faced some unexpected challenges that pushed us into survival mode, and naturally, our screen time increased, including mine.  This experience made me realize the unique challenges we face at different stages of our journey from merely surviving to truly thriving, especially regarding phone usage. In this week’s episode, I delve into these challenges and how becoming aware can lead to positive changes. Challenges with Phone Usage on the 5-Step Path from Surviving to Thriving Survival Mode: Increased screen time, watching more movies with the kids, zoning out with shows or scrolling. Re-entry: This is when we feel the most overwhelmed and tired, so we use phones as an easy escape. But this only prolongs the process of re-entry. Normalizing: Rewarding ourselves with screen time after a good day, leading to late nights and inconsistent routines. Exploring: Spending excessive time on phones researching or learning, starting with good intentions, but often getting trapped in endless scrolling. Each stage presents its own set of challenges, slowing down our progress. Changes I’ve Made To My (Android) Phone: Niagara Launcher (free version) No Chrome/Internet Essential apps only: phone, texting, calendar, Google Maps, Notion (for work), church directory, scriptures, LibriVox, Libby, Marco Polo, Kajabi (for courses I've bought) Put my phone away instead of carrying it with me Impact: Increased productivity (even with insomnia) Solving problems caused by a lack of connection by being present with my kids Tackling household issues together with my kids because my phone is put away

We woke up on Saturday morning and my son was staring out the back window when he realized he couldn't see the zipper on the trampoline across the yard. Upon closer inspection, he realized that one of the huge limbs on our peach tree had broken and had fallen on top of the olive tree next to it and on the ground.  We didn't have any big storms or high winds and the kids were asking if I knew what happened. Looking at the branches with peaches full of fruit it didn't take too long to realize that the weight of the peaches - still not ripe - was too much and broke the thick limb. This image immediately brought to my mind all of the projects, habits, and goals that I am working on right now in our home, family, garden, yard, homeschool, and business. After months of just being in survival mode, it feels so good to be making progress and gaining momentum in many areas of our lives. It is exciting to be crossing things off the list, solving some big pain points, and investing in relationships and projects that will last. But as we are charging ahead at top speed, this peach tree gave me pause about all of the "fruit" I'm trying to grow right now in my life. There was a crucial step that we missed in caring for this peach tree - pruning. If we had pruned some of the fruit off of the tree, the weight wouldn't have been too much and the tree would be fine. Instead of choosing to remove some of the fruit, we lost all of it (this would have been really sad, except this peach tree actually has a fungal infection so the peaches rot before they ripen and we were planning on taking it down this year anyway). It was a great reminder that If I don't do some pruning in my own life, it can be a fast track to burnout. Then all progress comes to a halt and we lose all of the fruit instead of just choosing a few things to let go of or simplify. What does this look like practically? How do we do some pruning in our own lives - especially when there are plenty of things we don't want to walk away from? The secret is a quarterly review. I first learned about this concept years ago from Greg McKeown's book, Essentialism, where he recommends a quarterly offsite review. This means you leave and go somewhere away from your home and work to think about your life. As a mom with a baby and toddler, this sounded like a fairyland ideal. However, that didn't stop me from doing an onsite review right in the walls of my own home. This entire process is in the Thriving in Motherhood Planner every quarter so you don't even have to remember how many months have gone by - when you see it, it's time to sit down and go through the process. You can do this in one sitting or over a week or two as you evaluate your life and figure out what matters most going forward. I walk through the entire process step by step in episode 102. You can also learn about quarterly reviews fit in with the entire planning system process with the Plan a Week You Can Win training  If we don't life can start to be like a snowball that you keep rolling around and acquiring more snow - getting bigger and bigger until you can't move it at all. Or like the peach tree whose limb snaps.