The Parent Hope Podcast

This episode shares a real-life example of how understandable parental worries can amplify difficulties. It is not intended to question the reality of Autism (ASD), (defined by the DSM-5 as involving persistent deficits in social communication and interaction, restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, and clinically significant impairment in functioning beginning in early development.) Nor does it seek to diminish the genuine challenges individuals and families face in seeking understanding and support.__________________________________________________________Dr Jenny Brown in conversation with a mother about her journey from understandable concern to constant worry — and how she began to find a way out. In this honest and insightful conversation, Dr Jenny Brown invites a mother to take us back to the beginning, before she had the benefit of hindsight. She shares how each step seemed reasonable at the time — noticing differences in her young child, looking more closely, searching for answers and becoming increasingly focused on whether something might be wrong. Following her story as it unfolded, we hear how easily understandable parental concern can gather momentum, turning everyday moments into reasons to question, monitor and worry. But this is also a conversation about hope. Together, Dr Brown and this mother explore how recognising the worry cycle can open up a different way forward — an off-ramp from constant searching and uncertainty, towards greater calm, confidence and connection with our children. A reassuring conversation for parents wondering about autism, neurodivergence or their child's development, and wanting to find a way to care deeply without being consumed by worry. The first in a new series sharing real parent experiences of the worry and uncertainty that can come with raising children. Through these stories, we’ll explore what can happen when, rather than becoming increasingly focused on what might be wrong with our child, we learn to manage our own worry and become a steadier resource for them. __________________________________________________________Jenny will explore these questions further in an upcoming Parents' Questions podcast. We welcome your thoughts and questions at [email protected].  __________________________________________________________More Resources Related to this Topic:🎙️ 1.5 | Parenting Children with Special Needs (with Nicole Clarke) - The Parent Hope Podcast📄 “A Different Conversation About Autism and Childhood Mental Health”Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletterYoutube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProjectFacebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparentsInstagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/Contact us:[email protected](02) 9904 5600

After more than four decades each of walking alongside parents, children and families, Maggie Dent and Jenny Brown come together for an honest conversation about what time, experience and countless conversations have taught them. Their perspectives have been shaped not only by their professional work, but also by their own journeys as parents—and now as grandparents. While they've traveled some different professional paths, they've arrived at many of the same conclusions about what children need most to thrive and what helps parents navigate the joys and challenges of raising them. Together, they explore the ideas they've held onto, the ones they've let go of, and the insights that have deepened over the years. From building connection and resilience to navigating today's parenting challenges, this is a conversation grounded in curiosity rather than certainty. Rather than offering all the answers, Maggie and Jenny reflect on the questions that continue to shape their work and why, even after forty years, they're both still learning. Along the way, Maggie also shares the thinking behind her latest books and how her ideas continue to evolve as she supports today's parents. To see all Maggie's resources: Maggie Dent - Home | Resources for those who live & work with children And Jenny's book and parent Hope programs: When Parents Grow, Children Thrive. We’re beginning a new Parent Hope Podcast series, sharing real parent experiences of the worry and uncertainty that can come with raising children. Drawing on Bowen family systems theory, we’ll explore what can happen when we shift our focus from what might be wrong with our child to managing our own worry and becoming a steadier resource for them. We’d love to hear from you. Send your reflections, questions or comments to [email protected]. Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletterYoutube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProjectFacebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparentsInstagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/Contact us:[email protected](02) 9904 5600

David and Dr Jenny Brown reflect on the previous episode with Michael DeRuyter, “Hope Beyond Repair” and what his experience of foster and adoptive parenting can teach us. How can we honour the impact of trauma and adversity for children experiencing multiple placements without allowing trauma to become the whole story? They explore what a Bowen family systems lens adds—shifting attention from fixing the child to understanding their range of functioning and the part parental anxiety and pressure can play. They also explore how this connects to parenting in general.Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletterYoutube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProjectFacebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparentsInstagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/Contact us:[email protected](02) 9904 5600

Hope Beyond Repair:  Parenting Foster and Adoptive Children Without the Pressure to Fix A conversation with a family systems leadership coach, pastor, and foster and adoptive parent Michael DeRuyter about parenting children who have joined our families through fostering and adoption—and why these lessons matter for every parent. Drawing on both professional expertise and lived experience, we discuss the powerful pull to "repair" our children through doing more—more services, more interventions, more effort—and why this anxious over-functioning can sometimes undermine the very relationships we're trying to strengthen. Together, we explore a different lens on parenting children with disrupted attachment histories and experiences of trauma. Rather than focusing primarily on repairing the child, we consider how a parent's calm, non-anxious presence, thoughtful leadership, and capacity to resist overparenting can create the conditions for growth, resilience, and connection. Bowen Family Systems Theory offers a hopeful perspective on remaining steady in the face of anxiety, supporting children without becoming consumed by the pressure to fix. While this conversation is grounded in the experience of fostering and adoption, its insights are relevant to every parent seeking to lead their family with greater calm, wisdom, and hope. Whether you're a foster or adoptive parent, a professional working with families, or simply curious about parenting through a Bowen Family Systems lens, you'll find practical wisdom and fresh perspective for staying grounded when the pressure to "do more" feels overwhelming. https://theleadersjourney.us/team/michael-deruyter/ Our Approach | The Leader's Journey    Michael interviewing Jenny Brown in recent Podcast:https://theleadersjourney.libsyn.com/the-parenting-paradox-differentiation-based-parenting-with-dr-jenny-brown Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletterYoutube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProjectFacebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparentsInstagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/Contact us:[email protected](02) 9904 5600

Real Questions, Grounded Reflections (for Season 4 - Episode 6): 4.6 | The Parenting Paradox: Can Too Much Love Actually Get in the Way of Raising Resilient Children?“Just Tell Me What to Do!” Helping Parents Find Their Own Way Through Parenting Dilemmas In this Grounded Reflections episode of the Parent Hope Podcast, David Brown talks with Jenny about a familiar parenting plea: “Just tell me what to do!” The conversation follows the previous episode, in which Dr Kathleen Smith interviewed Jenny about her book: The Parenting Paradox: Loving Our Children by Giving Them Space to Grow. At that event, parents’ questions about what they should do prompted Jenny to reflect on our recognizable desire for clear answers when parenting gets difficult. Rather than offering quick fixes or parenting techniques, Jenny explores how parents can recognise unhelpful patterns, reconnect with their values, and focus on what is within their own control. It’s a thoughtful conversation about strengthening parent agency and finding a more grounded way through challenging parenting moments. Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletterYoutube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProjectFacebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparentsInstagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/Contact us:[email protected](02) 9904 5600

Recorded live at the Washington, DC launch of The Parenting Paradox, this special episode features Dr Jenny Brown in conversation with author, therapist, and Bowen family systems faculty member Dr Kathleen Smith. Drawing on decades of clinical experience and family systems research, Jenny explores why modern parenting has become increasingly intensive, how anxiety fuels the "worry cycle," and why our greatest influence as parents comes not from doing more for our children, but from managing ourselves more thoughtfully.” Together, Jenny and Kathleen discuss the powerful story behind the book's original title, So Much Love, the hidden forms of over-parenting, loving leadership, technology, resilience, and the surprising freedom that comes when parents stop trying to fix their children and instead focus on changing their own part in the family system. Whether you're parenting young children, teenagers, adult children, or grandchildren, this conversation offers practical wisdom, hope, and a refreshing alternative to today's culture of intensive parenting. In this episode, you'll hear: Why So Much Love was the book's original title  How "intensive parenting" can take many different forms  The parenting worry cycle—and how to step off it  Why the best parenting work begins with ourselves  What loving leadership looks like in everyday family life  How giving children emotional breathing space helps them become capable and resilient  This conversation was recorded live during the Washington, DC book launch of The Parenting Paradox, with Dr Jenny Brown interviewed by Dr Kathleen Smith, therapist, author of Everything Isn't Terrible and True to You, and faculty member at the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family.   Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletterYoutube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProjectFacebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparentsInstagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/Contact us:[email protected](02) 9904 5600

Real Questions, Grounded Reflections (for Season 4 - Episode 5):4.5 | Why Parenting Feels Harder Than Ever: What History Reveals About Parental Anxiety, Expert Advice, and Raising Children Today (with Peter Stearns)Has our increasingly risk-averse society changed the way we see children? In this episode, David Brown chats to Jenny about this central question raised in her earlier discussion with Dr Peter Stearns Peter Stearns argues that parents have always worried about their children. What's changed is that society has become increasingly risk-averse and our understanding of harm has expanded from protecting children from physical danger to also protecting them from emotional and psychological harm. While this has brought many benefits, it has also made us more likely to see children as fragile rather than capable. How do parents find the right balance? The writings that have mostly influenced Dr Brown's works are: Anxious Parents: A History of Modern Childrearing in America; co-author of The American Child: the transformation of childhood since World War II. Anxious Parents: A History of Modern Childrearing in America;  https://www.amazon.com.au/Anxious-Parents-History-Child-Rearing-America/dp/0814798497 The American Child: the transformation of childhood since World War II   https://academic.oup.com/book/60679 And the paper: Stearns PN (2019) Happy Children: A Modern Emotional Commitment. Front. Psychol. 10:2025. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02025 Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletterYoutube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProjectFacebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparentsInstagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/Contact us:[email protected](02) 9904 5600

With a special distinguished guest Peter N. Stearns, author of Anxious Parents: A History of Modern Childrearing in America; co-author of The American Child: the transformation of childhood since World War II, Professor Emeritus at George Mason University,  In this episode of The Parent Hope Podcast, I’m joined by preeminent social historian Peter N. Stearns, whose work has been deeply influential in shaping my understanding of how childhood and parenting have evolved over time. We will explore the historical roots of today’s parenting culture—from rising anxiety about children’s outcomes to the growing expectations placed on parents to constantly guide, manage, and optimize their children’s lives.  As I discuss in The Parenting Paradox, when parents are caught in a cycle of increasing effort and concern, it can inadvertently add to the very pressures children face. This conversation brings much-needed context to that paradox—helping parents step back, see the bigger picture, and reconsider what truly supports children’s and their own wellbeing. This is an episode about clarity, perspective, and relief. Because when we understand where these expectations come from, we’re better able to loosen their hold—and support our children with greater confidence in their natural capacities. Peter N. Stearns is Professor of History Emeritus at George Mason University, where he taught courses in world history and social history. In 2021, Dr. Stearns received the American Historical Association recognition for a lifetime of distinguished scholarship  He has taught previously at Harvard, the University of Chicago, Rutgers, and Carnegie Mellon; he was educated at Harvard University. Stearns is a past vice president of the American Historical Association. He has served as chair of the Advanced Placement World History committee and founded and served as editor-in-chief of the Journal of Social History. Stearns is the author or editor of over 100 books and innumerable articles.  The writings that have mostly influenced Dr Brown's works are: Anxious Parents: A History of Modern Childrearing in America; co-author of The American Child: the transformation of childhood since World War II. Anxious Parents: A History of Modern Childrearing in America;  https://www.amazon.com.au/Anxious-Parents-History-Child-Rearing-America/dp/0814798497 The American Child: the transformation of childhood since World War II   https://academic.oup.com/book/60679 And the paper: Stearns PN (2019) Happy Children: A Modern Emotional Commitment. Front. Psychol. 10:2025. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02025 Bios https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Stearns  https://www.gmu.edu/news/2021-11/peter-stearns-receives-american-historical-association-recognition-lifetime   Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletterYoutube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProjectFacebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparentsInstagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/Contact us:[email protected](02) 9904 5600

Real Questions, Grounded Reflections (for Season 4 - Episode  2):4.4 | Raising Boys to Be Good Men in a Confusing World: A Guide to Raising Boys to be Confident, Resilient and Caring (with Justin Coulson)In this episode of Parent Hope Podcast: Real Questions, Grounded Reflections, Jenny Brown and David Brown revisit some of the key themes raised in Jenny's conversation with Justin Coulson about raising boys. Rather than focusing on parenting techniques, they explore deeper questions: How do we raise boys without making them a project? How do parents avoid defining themselves through their children's successes and struggles? What has changed in childhood over the last fifty years, and what might boys be losing when freedom, responsibility and independence decline? Drawing on Bowen family systems theory, recent research on boys and childhood, and reflections on their own experiences, Jenny and David discuss how parents can stay connected without taking over, support growth without overprotecting, and help boys develop confidence, responsibility and purpose. A thoughtful conversation about boys, parenting, anxiety, and the challenge of raising capable young people in a changing world. Coulson, J. (2026). Raising Boys. ABC Books. Mintz, S., & Stearns, P. N. (2025). The American Child: The Transformation of Childhood Since World War II. Oxford Univ Press. Hines, M. (2011). Gender development and the human brain. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 34, 69–88.  Newsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletterYoutube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProjectFacebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparentsInstagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/Contact us:[email protected](02) 9904 5600

Jenny interviews Dr Justin Coulson, one of Australia's most respected relationships speakers, authors, and researchers. Passionate about understanding what helps relationships flourish, Justin has spoken to tens of thousands of people about relationships in leadership, education, and, most importantly, family life.In this episode, Jenny and Justin discuss his new book:Boys: A Guide to Raising Boys to Be Confident, Resilient and Caring(ABC Books – released 16 June 2026)Justin Coulson reveals what decades of research suggests: when boys get what they actually need, they thrive. Not through force or fixing, but through connection, meaningful challenge, and someone who refuses to give up on them. Culture and society have been changing at a rapid pace for several centuries. The speed of that change is accelerating. The evolution of masculinity is ongoing. In many ways, masculinity is always ‘under construction’. But this book is about what doesn’t change. It’s about the foundations of healthy human flourishing in boys. They are ideas that you can build a family on – and a boy’s life on. Book Link:https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/Boys-Guide-Raising-Confident-Resilient-CaringGuest: Dr Justin Coulsonhttps://happyfamilies.com.au/boysNewsletter-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/#newsletterYoutube-http://www.youtube.com/@ParentHopeProjectFacebook-https://www.facebook.com/coachingparentsInstagram-https://www.instagram.com/parenthopeproject/LinkedIn-https://www.linkedin.com/company/79093727/admin/feed/posts/Website-https://parenthopeproject.com.au/Contact us:[email protected](02) 9904 5600