The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast

Content Warnings: This episode contains discussions of suicidal ideation, self-harm thoughts, postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, intrusive thoughts involving infant harm, pregnancy loss/miscarriage, significant bleeding during miscarriage, birth trauma, medical trauma, workplace violence, verbal and physical assault, breastfeeding struggles, infant colic, and the emotional impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic. Please listen with care and prioritize your emotional well-being.In this listener story episode, listen to Cheryl's deeply vulnerable journey through healthcare worker trauma, perinatal trauma, pregnancy loss, and the complicated realities of motherhood. As a nurse practitioner who spent years working in critical care and emergency medicine, Cheryl experienced significant workplace trauma, burnout, and repeated instances of being dismissed and unsupported by the healthcare system. She shares how those experiences shaped the way she navigated pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum life.Cheryl opens up about her experiences with postpartum depression, intrusive thoughts, postpartum anxiety, miscarriage, and the overwhelming challenges of navigating motherhood during the COVID-19 pandemic. She also discusses being neurodivergent, eventually receiving diagnoses of autism and ADHD, and learning to recognize her needs rather than viewing her struggles as personal failures. In this episode, we discuss:🩺 Cheryl's 20-year career in healthcare and how workplace trauma, burnout, and lack of support impacted her mental health.💔 The lasting effects of being dismissed, verbally and physically assaulted, and made to feel that her experiences as a healthcare worker didn't matter.🧠 How growing up neurodivergent, being diagnosed with autism and ADHD, and feeling misunderstood influenced Cheryl's experiences with trauma.🤰 Navigating pregnancy with a septate uterus, fears of miscarriage, preterm birth, and the constant uncertainty of a high-risk pregnancy.👶 Cheryl's first birth experience, including an unexpectedly rapid progression of labor, an epidural, vacuum assistance, and the challenges of the immediate postpartum hospital stay.💛 The shame and judgment Cheryl experienced as a new mother, particularly around breastfeeding, newborn feeding, and asking for reassurance.🧠 Postpartum depression, frightening intrusive thoughts, and the fear of telling someone what was happening because of concerns about having her baby taken away.🕊️ Experiencing a miscarriage, navigating significant bleeding, and the grief and anxiety that followed pregnancy loss.🦠 Being pregnant and giving birth during the COVID-19 pandemic, including fears of severe illness, separation from her baby, and the emotional toll of working in healthcare during an unprecedented time.🌸 Cheryl's second birth experience and how having supportive, curious, and trauma-informed providers made a difference.😢 The realities of parenting a colicky baby during the pandemic, struggling with bonding, and grieving the newborn experiences she felt she missed.❤️ The importance of asking for help, accepting support, and recognizing when you need someone simply to be present with you.🧩 How identifying her neurodivergence helped Cheryl better understand herself and begin accommodating her sensory needs.🌱 The role of medication, therapy, EMDR, and community in Cheryl's healing journey.💬 Why we need to stop viewing our struggles as personal failures and start recognizing them as normal human responses to extraordinarily difficult experiences.🩺 Cheryl's powerful message about healthcare workers needing more than praise: they need meaningful support, protection, and leaders who believe them.Cheryl leaves us with an important reminder: Healthcare workers are human beings, too. They deserve to feel heard, supported, and valued, just like the patients they care for. And whether you're navigating motherhood, working in healthcare, or recovering from trauma, your struggles are not personal failures. You deserve support, too.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh welcomes back Ana Lepe Vick to discuss her continued advocacy work in maternal health, stillbirth prevention, and improving care for the Latina community. Ana shares how her own experience of stillbirth and a traumatic crash C-section shaped her commitment to creating systemic change and ensuring that families receive the compassionate, informed, and culturally responsive care they deserve.Together, Kayleigh and Ana explore the gaps in maternal healthcare for Latine families, including language barriers, inadequate interpretation services, cultural differences in provider-patient relationships, and the long-term effects of severe maternal morbidity. Ana also shares the story behind the first Latine Maternal Infant Health Conference in North Carolina, the importance of community advocacy, and why sometimes the most meaningful thing a provider can do is simply show up and offer human connection.In this episode, we discuss:💜 Ana's experience with stillbirth, a crash C-section, and the trauma that can exist alongside pregnancy and infant loss.🩺 How Ana's personal experience inspired her continued work in stillbirth prevention and maternal health advocacy.📊 The Hispanic Paradox and why maternal health statistics may not accurately reflect the lived experiences of Latine families.🗣️ The impact of language barriers, inadequate interpretation services, and limited access to culturally responsive prenatal and birth care.🤰 The importance of giving patients time to process information, ask questions, and make informed decisions during labor and delivery.🌎 The first Latine Maternal Infant Health Conference in North Carolina and the importance of bringing providers, community health workers, and families together.❤️ How immigration-related fears can impact access to prenatal care and hospital-based birth services.🧠 The long-term mental and emotional effects of severe maternal morbidity and traumatic birth experiences.🤝 The need for more Spanish-speaking therapists, doulas, and healthcare professionals who can support Latine families.🕊️ The importance of compassionate bereavement care, including offering photographs, keepsakes, and meaningful opportunities to spend time with a baby after loss.📸 Why providers don't need to have the perfect words when supporting a grieving family. Being present, acknowledging their pain, and offering compassion can make an enormous difference.✨ How community, remembrance, and honoring our babies can help bereaved families feel less alone.📣 Ana's ongoing advocacy for the Shine for Autumn Act and the importance of better stillbirth data and research.This conversation is a powerful reminder that surviving birth does not automatically mean receiving good care. Every family deserves to be heard, respected, informed, and supported, regardless of their language, culture, or pregnancy outcome.Take a listen to Ana's first episode with us here.Resources & Ways to Connect:Learn more about Push for Empowered Pregnancy and their work in stillbirth prevention and pregnancy after loss.Explore Postpartum Support International for perinatal mental health resources and support.Learn more about Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep and their remembrance photography services.Learn more about the Shine for Autumn Act and efforts to improve stillbirth research and data collection.If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who needs to hear this conversation. And remember: there is room for everyone at the table. We don't have to compete over our experiences to find connection, compassion, and community.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

What happens when you're a labor and delivery nurse who suddenly finds yourself on the other side of the hospital bed? In this episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Kelly, a registered nurse who experienced a catastrophic birth trauma while delivering at the very hospital where she worked.Kelly shares the story of her 39-week induction, which quickly turned into a life-threatening emergency when she experienced an amniotic fluid embolism (AFE). After going into cardiac and pulmonary collapse, Kelly underwent an emergency C-section, massive blood transfusions, and ultimately a life-saving hysterectomy. While her daughter survived and Kelly eventually recovered physically, the emotional aftermath was far from simple.Kelly opens up about navigating the loss of her fertility, processing what happened while recovering in the ICU, and returning to work in the very unit where her trauma occurred. She also discusses the challenges of being a healthcare provider with birth trauma, the importance of finding a different path when returning to work feels too triggering, and why talking about your experience is such an important part of healing.In this episode, we discuss:🩺 Kelly's experience as a registered nurse working in mother-baby and NICU before becoming a patient herself.🤰 Her low-risk pregnancy, 39-week induction, and the unexpected complications that unfolded during labor.🚨 The sudden onset of an amniotic fluid embolism (AFE) and the terrifying moments leading up to her emergency C-section.🩸 Experiencing cardiac and pulmonary collapse, DIC, massive hemorrhage, and multiple blood transfusions.💔 The life-saving hysterectomy and the unexpected grief of losing the ability to have more children.👶 Her first meeting with her daughter while still intubated in the ICU.🏥 The challenges of recovering in the hospital where she worked and trying to understand what had happened to her.😢 Navigating anger, grief, postpartum emotions, and the complicated feelings that came with surviving a traumatic birth.🩹 Returning to work in the same unit where her trauma happened and experiencing triggers from alarms, emergencies, and caring for other laboring families.❤️ Finding a different path through pediatrics, eventually changing hospitals, and recognizing that healing doesn't always mean returning to the same environment.💬 Kelly's advice for birth trauma survivors: Don't keep it bundled up inside. Talk about it, write it down, and find a way to get it out.Kelly's story is a powerful reminder that birth trauma can happen to anyone, including the healthcare professionals who spend their careers caring for birthing families. It also reminds us that healing isn't linear, that it's okay to take a different path, and that sharing your story can be an important part of making sense of what happened.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

What does it actually mean to provide safe, equitable, and compassionate care to Black mothers? And why isn't simply being aware of the Black maternal health crisis enough?In Part 1 of this powerful conversation, Kayleigh sits down with Frances Ivy-Marie, author of Beyond Awareness: Caring for Black Mothers with Integrity, to unpack the realities of Black maternal health and the changes that need to happen within our healthcare system. Together, they explore the difference between awareness and action, the importance of language and patient-centered care, and how healthcare professionals can build trust with Black patients through meaningful, everyday actions.This conversation is an important reminder that good intentions aren't enough. Our patients deserve more than awareness campaigns and well-meaning words. They deserve to feel safe, heard, respected, and cared for.In this episode, we discuss:📖 Why Frances wrote Beyond Awareness: Caring for Black Mothers with Integrity and who she hopes will read it.💔 The fear surrounding Black maternal mortality and the desire to create a safer future for the next generation.📊 Why awareness of the Black maternal health crisis isn't enough without meaningful action and systemic change.⚖️ The devastating disparities in Black maternal mortality and the role of racism and discrimination in healthcare.🗣️ Why specificity in language matters, including respecting how patients identify themselves rather than relying on broad, generalized terminology.🏥 Why Black patients shouldn't have to find a Black doctor to receive safe, respectful, and equitable care.🤝 How healthcare professionals can build trust without making patients responsible for educating them or proving their allyship.❤️ Why actions speak louder than words when it comes to making patients feel safe and supported.👩🏾‍⚕️ Practical ways nurses and healthcare providers can show up for Black birthing people, from building rapport to listening, asking questions, and following through.🌱 How to approach conversations with humility, recognize when you've made a mistake, and prioritize repair over defensiveness.✨ Why Black mothers deserve to experience joy, excitement, and dignity during pregnancy and birth, not just fear and survival.A reminder from this conversation: Awareness is not action. We have to move beyond knowing the problem exists and start doing the work to change it.And this is just Part 1! In our next conversation, we'll continue exploring what meaningful change looks like, including the responsibility of healthcare administrators and the systems that shape the care Black mothers receive.About Frances:Frances Ivy-Marie is an author, safety advocate, CPST, and TEDx speaker. She holds a BA in History and an Associate of Science in Communications.Her work focuses on education, advocacy, safety, and improving how Black mothers and families are supported within healthcare and professional settings. Frances is passionate about moving conversations beyond awareness and toward meaningful action, accountability, and respectful care.In Beyond Awareness: Caring for Black Mothers with Integrity, Frances examines what it means for healthcare providers and professionals to care for Black mothers with intention, respect, and integrity. The book encourages professionals to consider how communication, trust, advocacy, and individual responsibility shape the care and experiences of the mothers they serve.As a Child Passenger Safety Technician and safety advocate, Frances is also committed to educating families and communities about safety and helping professionals recognize the importance of clear, respectful, and effective communication.Through her writing, advocacy, and speaking, Frances Ivy-Marie brings attention to the experiences of Black mothers and the systems that shape their care. Her work calls on healthcare providers and professionals to move beyond statements of awareness and take responsibility for the work they are entrusted to do listen, assess, communicate, advocate, and provide competent care.Get Frances' Book! For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Meg to share her powerful story of developing severe preeclampsia at just 24 weeks pregnant and welcoming her daughter, Beaux, at 26 weeks and 4 days. We hear about the fear and uncertainty of an unexpected hospitalization, the emotional experience of delivering a baby weighing just 1 pound, 5 ounces, and the 90-day NICU stay that followed.Meg also opens up about the challenges of transitioning home with a medically complex baby, navigating feeding difficulties and a feeding tube, and finding her way through healing while continuing to care for her daughter. Through sharing Beaux’s story and connecting with other NICU parents, Meg has found hope, validation, and a community that understands. This conversation is a reminder that even when a baby is thriving, the trauma a parent experiences along the way deserves to be seen and supported, too.In this episode, we discuss:💜 Recognizing the warning signs of preeclampsia and advocating for yourself during pregnancy.🏥 Being diagnosed with severe preeclampsia at just 24 weeks and facing the possibility of an extremely premature birth.💉 The intensity of magnesium treatment and the importance of honest communication from medical providers.🤍 Transferring to a higher-level NICU and navigating the fear and uncertainty of a high-risk pregnancy.👶 Beaux’s birth at 26 weeks and 4 days, weighing just 1 pound, 5 ounces.🫶 The emotional impact of not meeting her daughter until more than 25 hours after birth.🏥 The realities of a 90-day NICU stay, including respiratory support, a breathing tube, blood transfusions, and a lung infection.🏡 Transitioning home with oxygen support and learning to care for a medically complex baby.🍼 Navigating feeding challenges, feeding therapy, and the decision to place a G-tube.🌱 Celebrating Beaux's growth, development, and exciting milestone of starting a pre-K program.💗 What healing from birth trauma looks like when medical appointments, work, and caregiving continue long after the NICU.🤝 Finding validation and connection through other NICU parents and birth trauma survivors.✨ Sharing your story as a way to help other families find hope while honoring your own experience.A gentle reminder: A positive outcome does not erase the trauma it took to get there. NICU parents deserve support for their own healing, too.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this powerful episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Amber, a midwife and mother of three, to share her story of a life-threatening pregnancy and birth experience with her twins in July 2019. What began as a relatively uneventful twin pregnancy quickly turned into a medical emergency involving acute fatty liver of pregnancy (AFLP), disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC), and a prolonged ICU stay.Amber shares the terrifying physical and psychological realities of her experience, including ICU delirium, hallucinations, and the lasting impact of feeling betrayed by the people she believed were trying to hurt her. She also opens up about her husband's trauma, the complicated emotions of meeting her babies after being separated from them, and the long road of processing what happened. This conversation highlights the importance of recognizing subtle warning signs, advocating for critically ill obstetric patients, and making space for the emotional aftermath of birth trauma, even years later.In this episode, we discuss:🤰 Amber’s twin pregnancy: Discovering she was expecting twins as a midwife and navigating the fears and risks she anticipated throughout pregnancy.🚩 The warning signs: How extreme exhaustion, difficulty concentrating, changes in behavior, and trouble communicating were initially attributed to normal pregnancy symptoms.🩺 Acute fatty liver of pregnancy (AFLP): Understanding this rare, serious pregnancy complication and how it affected Amber’s liver, kidneys, and overall health.🩸 Postpartum hemorrhage and DIC: What happened after Amber’s C-section, how severe bleeding and clotting complications developed, and why DIC is so dangerous.🏥 A critical ICU experience: The challenges of coordinating obstetric and critical care, the importance of recognizing obstetric emergencies, and how advocacy from her husband and trusted physicians helped save her life.🧠 ICU delirium and hallucinations: Amber’s vivid, terrifying experiences while intubated and sedated—and why these experiences can feel completely real and contribute to trauma.💔 The impact on relationships: How ICU delirium affected Amber’s trust in her husband, despite his tireless efforts to advocate for her and get her the care she needed.👶 Reuniting with her twins: The emotional complexity of meeting her babies after being separated from them, and the significance of having them brought to her in the ICU.🫂 The postpartum recovery nobody talks about: Struggling with memory, independence, parenting, returning home, and wondering whether her brain would ever feel like itself again.💬 Healing through storytelling: Why talking about her experience, revisiting memories, and continuing to process the trauma have been important parts of Amber’s healing.❤️ Lessons for providers and families: The importance of listening to loved ones when they recognize changes in a patient's behavior and advocating when something doesn't feel right.Content note: This episode includes discussion of life-threatening pregnancy complications, severe hemorrhage, the possibility of death, ICU delirium and hallucinations, and traumatic medical experiences.Thank you to Amber for sharing her story with such honesty, humor, and vulnerability. Her experience is a powerful reminder of the importance of listening, advocacy, and compassionate care for birthing people and their families. 💛You can follow Amber on Instagram and TikTok: @aflp_midwifePlease note: This episode shares Amber’s personal experience and is intended for educational and informational purposes. It is not a substitute for individualized medical advice.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

If you’re rocking your baby in the middle of the night, replaying your birth experience for what feels like the hundred-thousandth time, this special mini episode of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast is for you. ❤️‍🩹In this deeply personal and grounding episode, Kayleigh speaks to the version of herself who once sat in the nursery at 2 AM, overwhelmed by memories, grief, and the fear that she had somehow gotten everything wrong. She offers the words she wishes she could have heard in those moments to anyone navigating the complicated emotions that can follow a traumatic birth.This episode isn’t about fixing your feelings, finding the perfect coping strategy, or figuring everything out tonight. It’s about making the darkness feel a little less lonely, giving yourself permission to feel whatever comes up, and remembering that you don’t have to solve your birth story in the middle of the night. You deserve compassion, care, and support, exactly as you are. And this pain will not last forever. 🤍✨ In this special mini episode, we explore:🌙 Why the quiet of the night can make birth trauma memories and intrusive thoughts feel especially overwhelming.❤️‍🩹 Why your birth experience matters, regardless of how others perceive it or whether you and your baby are physically healthy.🫶 Giving yourself permission to feel grief, anger, fear, gratitude, and love all at the same time.🌿 Gentle grounding reminders for when memories of your birth feel overwhelming.💗 Why struggling with bonding or experiencing complicated feelings toward your birth story does not make you a bad parent.🧡 Releasing the pressure to find answers, make sense of everything, or figure out how to heal right now.🤝 Remembering that you are part of a community of birth trauma survivors who understand, and that you do not have to carry this alone.🕊️ Making space for rest, even when sleep feels impossible, and holding on to the hope that things can feel different with time and support.💌 A reminder to take with you: This was not your fault. You are not failing. You are not alone. You don’t have to feel a certain way, and you don’t have to figure everything out tonight. You deserve care and compassion, and you are doing an incredible job.If you’re listening at 2 AM, 3 AM, or any hour when the rest of the world seems to be asleep, let this episode be a gentle reminder that you are not alone in the darkness. Come back to it as many times as you need. We’re here with you. 🤍For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In Honor of National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, we are re-releasing one of our favorite episodes with The Adalyn Rose Foundation. The Adalyn Rose Foundation was created in 2019 on what would have been Chloe and Adam Ciferri's daughter's second birthday. Chloe was having a seemingly normal pregnancy with her daughter Adayln, until about 20 weeks. Chloe and her husband were moving into a new home when Chloe's health began to decline.  Chloe was admitted to the hospital and when she asked to hear Adalyn's heartbeat, there wasn't one.   The Adalyn Rose Foundation serves families grieving the loss of a baby through miscarriage, stillbirth, or during infancy. They walk families through every step of life after baby loss, from the first moments and all those that follow.Adalyn Rose Foundation is going NATIONWIDE in 2024!!You can learn more about the Adalyn Rose Foundation and the events, fundraising and resources they provide by visiting their website: https://adalynrose.org/You can find the Adalyn Rose Foundation on Instagram: @adalynrosefoundationGuest Bio:Chloe Ciferri created the Adalyn Rose Foundation with her husband in honor of their daughter, Adalyn, who they lost unexpectedly during pregnancy. She strives to create a community of support for families who have experienced the devastation of baby loss. Chloe was a Special Education teacher for many years, until resigning to work at the foundation and stay home with Addie’s brothers and sister. She earned her Bachelor’s degree in Special and Elementary Education, and her Master’s degree in Educational Leadership. She most recently received her certificate in Non-Profit Leadership from Lasalle University. Aside from the work she does to support baby loss families, she is also passionate about Foster Care. Chloe enjoys spending time with family and going on family adventures with Adam, TJ, Enzo and Elle.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this Mini Series episode, I dive into a nuanced conversation around gratitude practices for perinatal trauma survivors. While gratitude can be a powerful tool for healing, it often becomes complicated when paired with the experiences of trauma, grief, and loss.Whether you’ve felt pressure to “just be grateful” or are searching for ways to reconnect with yourself and your story, this episode offers validation and actionable insight.🔑 What You’ll Hear in This Episode:The challenges of embracing gratitude after birth traumaWhy traditional gratitude practices can feel dismissive for survivorsHow to reframe gratitude to honor your trauma and truthMaking space for both/and: joy, pain, grief, and healingGiving yourself permission to feel your full experience📲 Connect & Learn More:Follow Kayleigh on Instagram: @thebirthtraumamamaJoin the community at thebirthtraumamama.comExplore resources for birth trauma survivors and trauma-informed careIf this episode resonates with you, share it with a friend or leave a review to help others find this supportive space. 💜Pugach CP, May CL, Wisco BE. Positive emotion in posttraumatic stress disorder: A global or context-specific problem? J Trauma Stress. 2023 Apr;36(2):444-456. doi: 10.1002/jts.22928. Epub 2023 Mar 29. PMID: 36987701; PMCID: PMC10101918.Korem N, Duek O, Ben-Zion Z, Kaczkurkin AN, Lissek S, Orederu T, Schiller D, Harpaz-Rotem I, Levy I. Emotional numbing in PTSD is associated with lower amygdala reactivity to pain. Neuropsychopharmacology. 2022 Oct;47(11):1913-1921. doi: 10.1038/s41386-022-01405-2. Epub 2022 Aug 9. PMID: 35945274; PMCID: PMC9485255.Litz BT, Litz BT, Gray MJ. Emotional Numbing in Posttraumatic Stress Disorder: Current and Future Research Directions. Australian & New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry. 2002;36(2):198-204. doi:10.1046/j.1440-1614.2002.01002.xFor more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.

In this listener series episode of the Birth Trauma Mama Podcast, Kayleigh sits down with Lauren to hear the story of her traumatic pregnancy, unexpected diagnosis of placenta accreta, life-threatening hemorrhage, emergency hysterectomy, and the premature birth of her daughter at just 23 weeks and 6 days. Lauren shares what it was like to know throughout her pregnancy that her life was at risk, the anticipatory grief she experienced, and the long road of processing what happened after surviving such a traumatic birth.Lauren also opens up about infertility after hysterectomy, IVF, adoption, and ultimately growing her family through a gestational carrier. She shares the complicated emotions that came with surrogacy after birth trauma, including grief, gratitude, anxiety, loss of control, and the powerful experience of being present for her daughter's birth. Her story is a beautiful reminder that healing isn't linear, that grief and gratitude can coexist, and that there is no "right" way to feel after birth trauma.✨ In this episode, we talk about:🩸 Lauren's diagnosis of placenta accreta during her second pregnancy🏥 Being told at just under 13 weeks that continuing the pregnancy could put her life at risk🤰 Relocating closer to a specialist and living on bed rest while hoping to reach viability💔 The anticipatory grief of knowing she could lose her life and her fertility🚨 Experiencing an internal hemorrhage and uterine rupture at 23 weeks and 6 days🏥 An emergency hysterectomy and the fight to save both Lauren and her daughter👶 Her daughter's extreme prematurity, 145-day NICU stay, and resulting cerebral palsy🧠 Processing guilt surrounding her daughter's disability and learning to recognize that she did not cause what happened💭 The importance of accepting that life after trauma may look different rather than trying to become the person you were before🌱 Navigating triggers, pregnancy announcements, baby showers, and the ongoing nature of grief🧬 Exploring IVF and adoption after losing the ability to carry another pregnancy🤍 Finding a gestational carrier and the complicated emotions surrounding surrogacy after birth trauma🎢 Learning to navigate anxiety and the loss of control during someone else's pregnancy👩‍🍼 Being present for her daughter's birth and experiencing an unexpectedly powerful and cathartic moment💕 The reality that bonding doesn't always happen instantly even when the love is immediate🌈 Holding grief and gratitude at the same time🫶 Learning that healing is not linear and there is no timeline for grief✨ Finding radical acceptance and recognizing that the person you become after trauma is allowed to be differentLauren's story is a powerful reminder that surviving doesn't mean the experience stops affecting you and that you can be deeply grateful for where you are while still grieving what you lost.For more birth trauma content and a community full of love and support, head to my Instagram at @thebirthtrauma_mama.Learn more about the support and services I offer through The Birth Trauma Mama Therapy & Support Services.Disclaimer - The views and opinions expressed by guests on The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast are their own and do not necessarily reflect the official stance, views, or positions of The Birth Trauma Mama Podcast. The content shared is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as professional or medical advice and/or endorsement.