Spiritual Sexual Shamanic Podcast

It’s a situation straight out of the movies, or a teen magazine: jealousy causing a rift between two lovers. It could be as simple as your partner mentioning getting close to one of their co-workers, or as complex as negotiating the ups and downs of an open relationship. No matter how big or small the circumstance, or how experienced the people involved, jealousy can come on strong!In this episode, researcher and self-described relationship counsellor “for people who color outside the lines,” Joli Hamilton, talks with Usha Rose about how jealousy can be an incredible force for growth, pleasure, and increased connection in your romantic relationships. They focus on how to create non-monogamous partnerships without shrinking away from the difficult feelings they can bring up. These are feelings Hamilton knows well. She had been in only monogamous relationships until having a sudden awakening into the possibility of relating with more than one person at once. And in her research, Hamilton has found that the people who have the most successful experience with non-monogamy know how to notice the sensations of jealousy and then name it. This, she says, is one of the first things we can do to embrace non-monogamy in a supportive way. They also discuss: Five steps for processing jealous feelingsHow jealousy relates to shame and fearThe archetypal nature of jealousyPaying attention to the way jealousy arises in the bodyCreating relationship agreements to care for each other through jealousyThe unique pleasure of jealousyWe hope you enjoy the episode!To learn more about Jolie, follow her on social media: @drjoliehamiltonTo learn more about ISTA, visit our website: https://ista.life/Or follow us on social media: @ista.community

It’s one thing to summon the courage and create the safety to dive into an altered state of consciousness. It’s another thing entirely to know how best to care for ourselves, and be cared for, after the experience is over. But as our guest in this episode, psychedelic integration coach, Amánda Argot, explains, this post-experience phase is vital to being able to bring the gems we uncover in altered states into our non-altered reality. In this rich conversation, Simon and Amánda explore the therapeutic potential of altered-state experiences like breathwork, psychedelics, and other methods. Amánda emphasises the importance of intention-setting and preparation in shaping the quality and outcome of these experiences.This integration phase extends beyond immediate care to include practices like rest, journaling, and somatic exercises. Amánda explains the unique 'Recíprico' method she has co-developed as a structured approach to guide individuals and facilitators through this process effectively.They then dive really deep into their ethical and cultural ramifications, including how different cultural and spiritual traditions approach and interpret these experiences. They contrast the perspectives of shamans, traditional healers, and clinical psychologists, and underscore the ethical responsibilities and liabilities associated with guiding individuals through these potentially challenging and intense journeys. The need for informed and culturally sensitive support systems is strong, they find. They also cover sexuality as an altered state, drawing parallels with psychedelic experiences. As you may have experienced for yourself, sexual experiences can facilitate deep introspection and connection, both within oneself and with others. Overall, It illuminated the transformative potential of these experiences when approached with intention, respect, and informed guidance.Learn more about Amánda's work here: https://www.amandaefthimiou.com/Join her mailing list here: https://integra-guide.ck.page/fd0fd46815To learn more about ISTA, visit our website: https://ista.life/Or follow us on social media: @ista.community

What would it be like for us to use the tools that we learn in workshops to create a life, and a partnership, that is not just ordinary but extraordinary? This is the big question driving the work of this episode’s guest, relationship coach, Michael Gibson. For example, he says, fighting between partners is “ordinary.” This is not to judge the realities of relating between two humans. Difficulty is totally normal! But Michael is most interested in what we can do to digest that ordinary reality and create the possibility of a wonderful alternative. He has been on this journey with his own partner, ISTA Lead Facilitator Laurie Handlers. Years ago, they began guiding people with the tools they discovered to be effective in their own lives. They give people homework on how to be juicy, and how to be in love again…The main thing they teach people is how to return to love. “It’s when you know that you can say something hard to your person,” Michael says, “and they can say it back to you, and you can return to love even if it was painful. That’s really what we practice.”It’s about letting the walls we often place between us melt. One of the key reasons to be able to return to love is so that you can speak your truth. It’s not just about being mean to one another and then being able to be loved after that. But rather, to speak our truth. When we can speak our truths, we are not holding onto little resentments and pain that can hold our relationships back. And your sex life is going to benefit as well! In this candid conversation, Ria and Michael also talk about: The famous “Bubble” technique for creating sacred spaceHitting the pause button on judging our partnersWhat happens when we fall into resentment, resistance, and revengeThe choice between being right or being in a relationship!How couples seem to be an endangered speciesHow our values are what underpin our boundariesIf you loved this episode, please share it with your friends!To learn more about ISTA, follow us on social media: @ista.communityAnd visit our website: https://ista.life/

Temple nights. They are popping up like wildfires! Some say there should be more of them. One of those people is Celeste Gonzalez, who runs some of the best in Berlin. For her, it is super important that they are deeply attuned events for sensual and soul connection. Not events even. Art pieces! In this episode, Celeste talks with Simon about what a Temple Night is and how you can best prepare for one. It’s all about care and intention. She  shares what some of the key ingredients of a great experience are, things like authenticity and good f’cking lighting. So participants and facilitators, take note. She also helps us feel into just what makes Temple nights such special spaces for self-exploration beyond the hold of the personal. They might be erotic or solitary, spicy or subtle, a big celebration or a time for grieving. Whether you’ve been to 1000 Temples, or are a total newbie, this conversation is bound to reveal something from between the layers of live experience… To learn more about  Celeste's wide-ranging work, visit her website: https://www.devoteeoftheheart.com/Or follow Celeste on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/devoteeoftheheart/To learn more about ISTA, visit our website: https://ista.life/Or follow us on social media: @ista.community

Asis Aviv is one of a kind, and the newest faculty member of the International School of Temple Arts. A self-described “rich witch, radical faerie, love priestexx, and shy-ning diva,” they are here for falling back in love with being humxn. In this conversation with Simon Marvell, Asis–a name which means “JUICE!” in Hebrew–shares their reflections on a vast array of topics, all anchored in the idea that we are so much more than our identity, whether influenced by parents, society or anything else.Gender and identity fluidity has nothing to do with some ‘woke agenda,’ but rather is about letting ourselves experience all that we are and all that we can be. Exploring all our inner parts/ selves/ voices, especially when they challenge the norms we grew up with is a wonderful way to free ourselves of our limiting beliefs and prejudices that keep us from living in love and acceptance. Asis shares how they work to embrace their shyness, how grief can be a transforming factor in dealing with issues of self-worth, and how they navigate the complexities of queer existence in a world that often demands performance and perfection. Through the lens of  Somatic Shamanic Voice Dialogue (SSVD), Asis invites us to explore the concept of "binge-watching"  our inner selves  and our identifcation with them, encouraging a deeper understanding of the ever-evolving nature of identity and personality. Asis shares insights on collapsing conventional binaries of masculine and feminine (and more), examining the walls we erect around ourselves, and a way to find peace through surrender and self-exploration. They offer a powerful message of empowerment and liberation, encouraging listeners to embrace their unique expression and celebrate the colourful tapestry of humxn existence.To learn more about Asis, follow them on Instagram: @goddexxfactorTo learn more about ISTA, follow us on social media: @ista.communityOr visit our website: https://ista.life/

It has become common to talk about creating safer spaces for healing work. And this is a good thing. Everyone in the field of conscious sensuality, embodiment, and healing work should be looking to improve their practice and rise to higher standards of care, support, awareness, and sensitivity.At the same time, it has also become common to resist this advancement in favour of the idea that self-development spaces should reflect the level of safety in the outside world. And sometimes, for some people, the world can feel really dangerous. People who take this view might say that this is how we learn resilience, or how we can turn difficulty into growth. But for our guest in this episode, somatic psychotherapist Shelby Leigh, if we are interested in the resolution of the trauma that affects so many of our lives, the spaces we enter for healing simply must be environments grounded in values of connection, responsibility, and trust. For Leigh, trauma is anything that overwhelms us, and it can stay with us if we never have a chance to naturally complete our body’s survival response to that overwhelming thing. The feeling of overwhelm can stay with us, separating us from our sense of belonging in the world, and inhibiting our capacity for healthy relationships. In her conversation with ISTA facilitator, Usha Rose, Leigh speaks about just how important it is to learn skills of self-regulation, stillness, and boundaries in a safe environment. It is then that we are in a great position to step into the revolutionary practice of taking those skills into the dynamic, playful, and perhaps riskier outside world. Some of the topics covered in this episode are: Relating with others as the medicine we need.Understanding your ‘attachment style.’Growing up with narcissistic parents. When complex trauma gets misdiagnosed as ADHD or anxiety. Protocols for people working in healing spaces.Not pushing past your ‘no.’ Stepping slowly into healing spaces. Nervous system regulation as meditation. You can learn more about Shelby at her website: https://www.shelby-leigh.com/And to learn more about ISTA, visit our website: https://ista.life/Or follow us on social media: @ista.community

Over the last couple of years, Dave Boda has been really critical of ISTA. He’s composed blog-posts and spoken openly about how some of the people involved need to improve, and how some of the ways ISTA approaches its work need to fall away. In this episode, he talks with ISTA facilitator, the podcast founder, and his old friend, Ria Yoshida, about how important it is to not only have these frank conversations about improving the sacred sexuality space, but to do it in an engaged and loving way. Although Dave has not attended an ISTA experience himself, he has  facilitated hundreds of events in the spiritual self-development space and draws, here, on his experience there. He has also been through an extended mediation process with ISTA in his role with the group, Safer Sex Positive and Spiritual Communities. For him, it is crucial for communities to acknowledge when it is time to shift with the times, and grow along with those who form them. Dave and Ria cover many points of wisdom that have arrived for both of them in their journeys of self-exploration, like: How important it is to take breaks from going to workshops or festivals and integrate what you’ve learned into ordinary life. How we need to take accountability for what happens in our lives, and for when we’ve made mistakes. How important it is to really listen to feedback. How we often stay working on projects that no longer serve us because it’s what we get rewarded for. How it is really difficult to genuinely do the work of taking responsibility. We hope you enjoy this frank, and very real, conversation. To learn more about Dave, visit his website: https://boodaism.com/To learn more about Safer Sex Positive and Spiritual Communities, visit their website: https://3sc.community/To learn more about ISTA, visit our website: https://ista.life/Or follow us on social media: @ista.community

There’s a lot of hot debate about the ethics of transformational spaces right now, driven by questions of how power should be held in these spaces. Who should be responsible if something goes wrong? Just what are the limits of what gets taught?Maybe it would be easier not to create spaces for transformational work, for looking at shadows and how power moves. Maybe making such spaces, if they are still to exist, should be made so anodyne as to neutralize whatever challenges people might feel around these issues (including sexuality).Our guest, Elica Lorde-Syzygy, a transpersonal counsellor and Internal Family Systems therapist, is on today’s show to discuss these questions. In this conversation Elica explains how we can be so accustomed to pointing the finger at others that we miss many opportunities to pass over the threshold of responsibility to a more sovereign and resilient selfhood. The reasons we do this are understandable. We don’t want to be exiled from the groups that support our thriving. We’re part of a larger culture that perhaps wants us to remain attached to archetypal figures of the mother and the father. But if we stay like that, we remain dependent! We might find ourselves getting to a place, in ourselves and in the groups we are part of, where these kinds of subconsciously dependent relations are just simply not working any more, and are causing more harm than good. It’s at this point, Elica explains, that we can get to work…To learn more about Elica, visit her website: https://www.b-inghuman.com/our-story-1If you loved this episode, share it with a friend! To learn more about the International School of Temple Arts, visit our website or follow us on social media: [email protected]

In this episode, Ria talks with Dr. Jen Howk about the collision of science and mysticism in the field of evolutionary psychology. With her feet planted firmly in both worlds, Dr. Jen delves into the how and why of our psychological quirks, revealing some of the mysteries of our development as a species.In particular, she tackles the intriguing phenomenon of cancel culture. In doing so, she explores the historical roots of our collective drive to create ‘in’-groups and ‘out’-groups, explaining that it was a crucial strategy in ancient communities for protecting against threats.Conformity, she argues, often stems from a deep-seated fear of being relegated to one of these 'out'-groups—a survival instinct that persists, even when it may no longer be necessary.It turns out that there are many unhelpful characteristics of contemporary culture which derive from our instinct to survive and reproduce. According to Dr. Jen, we can feel a sense of freedom, and find compassion for ourselves and others, when we understand that it might be these instincts pushing us towards behaving in one way or another. We can feel similar feelings when we acknowledge our ability to choose alternatives. In this conversation, Ria and Jen also cover: Coercion as a defining mark of cultsThe ‘Big Five’ personality characteristicsHow our behaviour can often be explained by what evolutionary goals we are trying to achieveThe problems with ‘blank slate’ thinkingThe importance of connecting with natureIf you love this episode, share it with your friends! And if you want to learn more about ISTA’s retreats and workshops, check out our website, ista.lifeGo follow us on social media @ista.community

Do you ever feel like you’re being held back in life by events and circumstances that are out of your control? Maybe you find yourself in uncomfortable, even terrible, circumstances thinking to yourself: how did I even get here? And, how do I get out? These are questions that arrived powerfully in the life of Carolyn Elliot, transformational guide and author of the book, Existential Kink. We won’t give too much away, but as she explains in this episode, she was really in a bind. And then, almost by accident, she had the realisation that ‘having is evidence of wanting.’ Elliot had to come to terms with the idea that some part of her had wanted to be in the difficult, unpleasant situation she was in. Maybe not on the surface, but deeper down. Her journey was then about being able to unravel what she has come to call her ‘existential kink,’ which she defines as a desire for something that others might think too edgy, or outright bad. It’s ‘existential’ because the kink is about life, not just sexy stuff. For her, the key is to bring consciousness to what we enjoy in even the ‘bad’ parts of our lives. This can help release their hold over us. Stay tuned all the way to the end of this lively and fascinating conversation to be guided through the existential kink practice that Elliot details in her runaway classic book of the same name! To learn more about Carolyn, please visit her website and join her email list: https://carolynlovewell.com/ If you love this episode, share it with your friends! And if it want to follow ISTA on social media, you can find us @ista.community on all good platforms.