Latter Day Struggles

Send us a Positive Review!In July of 2026 the LDS children's magazine, the Friend published an article addressing a little LDS girl's concern about there being "no girl bishops" in the church. In this article the reader follows as the child's aunt explains the tenants of what is commonly referred to in conservative Christian circles as "gender complementarianism" using a sports analogy. This episode is Valerie's response as to why a sports analogy evades fundamental issues around structural inequality within Mormonism. She then shares her thoughts on how she wished she had discussed this issue with her own daughters when they were younger, which might have invited both critical thinking & the ability for them to be involved in ways that would not have negatively impacted their identity development.  Timestamps:00:00 Welcome and Purpose01:36 Why This Topic Matters03:28 Plan for Today07:30 Reading the Article11:28 Initial Reactions12:25 Complementarianism Explained17:06 Sports Analogy Breakdown28:17 Core Issue Authority29:46 What Kids Are Learning34:08 Parents Damage Control37:09 Mormonism as Culture39:53 Closing and CommunitySupport the showMake a Tax Deductible DonationListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODESFriday Episodes Monthly Access $10Valerie’s Support & Processing GroupsJoin The Live Fellowship podcast discussion groupDownload Free ResourcesVisit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie is guest on the podcast Hidden Wisdom & engages in a beautiful conversation with Meghan Farner on a range of topics, from thoughts on her resignation from the LDS church, the joys and struggles of the authentic spiritual journey, and Valerie's extensive work with hundreds of people healing from Mormon faith crisis and finding a deepening path towards healthy, vibrant spirituality both within and beyond LDS practice.This episode is a reminder that more and more people are speaking up about both transcending the limitations of Mormonism while including their Mormon experiences in their deepening spiritual journey.Timestamps:00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro04:23 Starting the Podcast08:01 Disciplinary Council and Resignation13:06 Keeping the Good in Mormonism17:17 Faith Expansion Sorting Process24:03 Atonement as Wholeness31:27 Reimagining God and Patriarchy41:10 Mysticism and Direct Experience48:46 Programs and Closing ThanksSupport the showMake a Tax Deductible DonationListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODESFriday Episodes Monthly Access $10Valerie’s Support & Processing GroupsJoin The Live Fellowship podcast discussion groupDownload Free ResourcesVisit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode Valerie welcomes Dr. Brad Reedy, colleague, author, and fellow psychotherapist working primarily with an LDS audience in Salt Lake City, Utah.  Brad has spent decades helping LDS families find peace and connection when life gets complicated and the LDS belief system and practices no longer can hold a family together and sometimes threaten to tear them apart. Val and Brad focus on the family composed of a queer child (including an adult child) and devout parents.  How does a family handle this situation in a way that restores self love to a wounded child while honoring the fears and loyalties of the parents?  Learn more about this and so much more in this beautiful bridge-building episode.  Timestamps:00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro05:34 Therapy vs Religious Certainty08:28 Three Parent Populations11:29 Staying in the Room17:03 Trojan Horse and Patience20:47 No Agenda in Therapy26:33 Healing Before Complexity30:44 Safety and Longing34:12 Shame and the False Self37:45 Queer Youth Survival44:04 Whole Not Good50:26 Turning Wholeness Into Shoulds51:09 Closing Thanks and ResourcesSupport the showMake a Tax Deductible DonationListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODESFriday Episodes Monthly Access $10Valerie’s Support & Processing GroupsJoin The Live Fellowship podcast discussion groupDownload Free ResourcesVisit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this not-to-be-missed episode, Val interviews Michael McLean (of The Forgotten Carols and Mr. Kruger's Christmas) and his delightful son Jeff about a book they just co-wrote recounting their journey to unconditional love for self and one another in a religious tradition that still struggles to embrace the reality that the worth of EVERY soul (not just the married heterosexual soul!) is infinitely good, lovable, & 'enough'.  This conversation is candid, raw, and maybe as 'real' as anything that you've heard on Latter Day Struggles and it is the essence of why we do what we do here.  We share conversations like Jeff's and Michael's to remind us that miracles of healing are possible as humans awaken to the real message of Jesus Christ:  That love knows no limits.  In the next episode Val interviews therapist and colleague Brad Reedy, who contributes to Jeff and Michael's book.  Don't miss these profound and touching episodes!  DON'T HIT STOP after the interview this week y'all! Please enjoy a beautiful original song written by Jeff McLean for his therapists and helpers along the way during his journey that led to the writing of Stay in the Room.Timestamps:00:00 Welcome and Guests05:00 Jeff on Identity and Culture10:18 Michael on Painful Truths16:21 Jeff on Shame and Hiding20:16 Host Therapy Framework27:28 Michael Valley of Shadow32:18 Temple Recommend Turning Point40:33 Host Reframes the Journey45:39 A Living Room Breakthrough49:41 Houston Hotel Confrontation55:12 Love Loud Safe Harbors59:08 Writing The Book As Recovery01:10:54 Die Before You Die01:21:05 Hope For Unapologized Hurt01:27:41 McClain Foundation Plans01:29:15 Closing Gratitude + Original SongSupport the showMake a Tax Deductible DonationListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODESFriday Episodes Monthly Access $10Valerie’s Support & Processing GroupsJoin The Live Fellowship podcast discussion groupDownload Free ResourcesVisit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this episode, Val is joined by Greg Prince, and their focus begins with Hugh B Brown’s legacy of gutsy leadership & expands to an exploration of the broader implications of the LDS Church's aging leaders (due to their succession-by-seniority-policy multiplied by advancements in medicine in the past several decades). Does modern science about increasing life expectancy & therefore increased dementia risk in elderly leaders call for a conversation about how LDS leadership is chosen? Listen in to hear what Greg & Valerie have to say about this. Want to listen to this whole series? Jump back to episode 185.Timestamps:00:00 Episode Setup00:48 Welcome Greg Prince00:59 McKay Era Recap03:26 Meet Hugh B Brown07:03 Brown Versus Benson10:26 Uchtdorf Comparison12:17 McKay First Presidency Picks16:58 Succession And Dementia Data25:07 Fixing Succession Rules29:58 Power Shift To Twelve33:34 Youth Exodus And Relevance36:35 New Contract For Members40:39 Closing And ResourcesSupport the showMake a Tax Deductible DonationListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODESFriday Episodes Monthly Access $10Valerie’s Support & Processing GroupsJoin The Live Fellowship podcast discussion groupDownload Free ResourcesVisit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!The news is getting out.  Patriarchy harms everyone in its clutches. The women and children of course. But men too. Actually, it hurts them a lot. The more we have words for how this hurts us, the more we can advocate for change but also embody change in how we see ourselves, treat one another and live our lives.  If you are just realizing that much of your faith crisis is connected to the massive impact that patriarchy has had on you and you're ready to confront this and heal from the impacts of patriarchal programming, you're invited to join Valerie's upcoming Healing from Patriarchy support and processing group that begins in October 2026.  This is where women find their voices and men find their vulnerability. Seating is limited. Please join us for a life changing experience and a wonderful community of friends on the same journey.Timestamps:00:00 Welcome and Redrop Preview09:08 Series Part Six Setup16:48 True Self False Self Framework21:07 How LDS Homes Teach Roles28:58 Creativity and Becoming Self37:03 Healing Men Through Love42:40 Invite to Mixed Gender Group49:28 What Is Spiritual Agency56:03 Virtue Script Pressure01:04:12 Reclaiming Identity01:10:32 Becoming A Reformer01:16:46 Choosing Amid Expectations01:25:00 Raising Agentic Kids01:30:50 Where To Find Valerie01:31:47 Favorites And FarewellSupport the showMake a Tax Deductible DonationListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODESFriday Episodes Monthly Access $10Valerie’s Support & Processing GroupsJoin The Live Fellowship podcast discussion groupDownload Free ResourcesVisit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!In this special Office Hours recording, a couple dozen people joined Valerie to talk about the emotional experience that only the former devout Mormon will understand.  Why does this weekend bring up so much?  Listen to Val & four of the guests that attended this Office Hours recording as they talk about grief, loneliness, fear, and confusion.  They hit topics that likely hit home with you too:  about parenting and mixed faith marriage emotions...loss of simplicity, feeling left out of the celebratory mood, and other emotions typical of this weekend that many of us used to find connecting and meaningful in times gone by.Timestamps:00:00 Tribute Episode Re Drop01:45 Queerphobia Paradigms Preview03:30 Why Share This Now05:38 Office Hours Pop Up Intro07:15 Conference Weekend Complexity09:28 Loneliness In Faith Shift13:37 Compassion And New Community18:43 Grief Over Conference Changes26:05 Existential Grief And Integration31:57 Fear And Emotional Overload35:18 Fear Of Disconnection37:01 Differentiation In Mormon Families37:55 Bookshelf Metaphor39:07 Practice Compassionate Curiosity41:49 Parenting In Mixed Faith44:55 Collaborate With Your Partner52:09 Create Conference Safe Space54:09 Discernment Over Zeal58:47 Closing Reflections59:49 New Healing Group Format01:01:46 Final Thanks And GoodbyeSupport the showMake a Tax Deductible DonationListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODESFriday Episodes Monthly Access $10Valerie’s Support & Processing GroupsJoin The Live Fellowship podcast discussion groupDownload Free ResourcesVisit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Just a quick announcement to start a process of changing my philosophy here on Latter Day Struggles. I care deeply about two things: YOU... And offering psychologically healing content for your Mormon faith expansion journey. If time or resources have ever been a barrier in joining one of my deeply healing groups--this upcoming pilot experiment group is for YOU. To all of you licensed and graduate level mental health workers out there who so loyally support me, please listen to this episode as well. I want to support each of you who do clinical mental health work with those in Mormon faith crisis. Listen here as I share a special gift to you as part of your tuition when you join this group. Finally, thank you all for your trust and support. I feel fortunate every day that I get to be in connection with such amazing humans. Please share this announcement with anyone in your circles who might benefit. I expect this group to fill quickly so don't hesitate if this work calls to you!Timestamps:00:00 Welcome And Update00:49 The Access Conundrum02:55 No Quick Fixes04:45 New Pilot Format05:39 Curriculum Upfront06:55 Ten Live Sessions09:02 Affordability And Irony11:13 Experiment And Invitation12:25 Support For Clinicians15:29 Scholarships And Gratitude16:57 How To Join And GoodbyeSupport the showMake a Tax Deductible DonationListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODESFriday Episodes Monthly Access $10Valerie’s Support & Processing GroupsJoin The Live Fellowship podcast discussion groupDownload Free ResourcesVisit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Very few of us doubt that we have been profoundly impacted by the imprints of patriarchy in our early personality development. What most do not know is that this is not a 'life sentence'. In this episode Val walks through her passion, approach, and even a few specific activities built into her updated Healing from Patriarchy group curriculum. If you are not sure if this experience if for you, this episode is for you. If you are worried about sharing vulnerable things in a group, listen in and rest assured that all group members can participate as little or as much in the group processing activities. And most of all, if you are tired of doing faith crisis thing alone or only with angry people who offer no path to healing, this episode is your invitation to find your people and your peace. ** If you believe in Valerie's work and would like to contribute to a scholarship fund that helps others afford group healing work, please reach out at [email protected] to make a tax-deductible donation. ** If you need assistance to join a group, scholarships are sometimes available, pending donation participation from our listening community.Timestamps:00:00 Welcome and Overview01:21 Why Groups Feel Risky02:38 Patriarchy Group Opens Up06:33 True Self Narratives13:21 Who This Is For21:41 What We Will Cover27:04 New Exercises Preview31:16 Polygamy Letter Healing41:45 Logistics and Community45:18 Final Invitation and GoodbyeSupport the showMake a Tax Deductible DonationListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODESFriday Episodes Monthly Access $10Valerie’s Support & Processing GroupsJoin The Live Fellowship podcast discussion groupDownload Free ResourcesVisit our Website

Send us a Positive Review!Patriarchy impacts people at a soul-wrenching level, and perhaps no other group is more stricken than our LGBTQ+ community. Please join us for a re-drop of a beautiful episode looking at Carol Lynn Pearson's breathtaking book, Goodbye, I Love You, which Valerie references to describe a 5 messages internalized by LDS queer people AND 5 healing counterpoints- deep truths about the divine identities of our queer loved ones and selves. Timestamps:00:00 Welcome and Redrop Plan06:20 Why Patriarchy Needs Context10:49 Origins Jesus and Mormonism15:45 Awakening and Upcoming Episodes32:20 Re-drop Begins No More Goodbyes38:25 Book Premise and Audience41:27 Paradigm One Innate Worth51:30 Paradigm Two Unconditional Love01:03:25 A Father’s Blessing01:11:15 Microaggressions and Doctrine01:22:33 Attachment Theory Explained01:29:44 Brad’s Heartbreaking Story01:40:53 Raising Consciousness Hope01:48:27 Final Review and FarewellSupport the showMake a Tax Deductible DonationListen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODESFriday Episodes Monthly Access $10Valerie’s Support & Processing GroupsJoin The Live Fellowship podcast discussion groupDownload Free ResourcesVisit our Website