Dr. Ellen Vora on a Groundbreaking New Understanding of Anxiety and Mental Health

We’ve got a special bonus episode of season 16 for you—I’m chatting with Erin Claire Jones, author of the new book How Do You Choose?: A Human Design Guide to What’s Best for You at Work, in Love, and in Life, which came out on May 13. I am big on self-awareness, and I absolutely love learning more about myself and those I love, so I was drawn to this book after hearing Erin describe Human Design in a number of podcast interviews. She is here on the show today to chat about what Human Design is and about our Human Design type, strategy, and authority, which can be determined not through a lengthy personality test but by inputting our birthday, birth time, and birth location. The inputting to find out your type is so simple and takes under a minute to do—and I’ll link where you can do that in the show notes. A big crux of Human Design is learning how you best make decisions, hence the title of Erin’s book; we talk about the five types of Human Design on the show today (I am a Generator!), our strategy, and our authority, which is further explained in How Do You Choose?. We talk about how important it is to not just know your own type, but the types of others you love, as well; what Human Design can bring to a life; how to begin to incorporate this into our lives; and what she’d say to skeptics of all of this. Erin is a leading expert in Human Design whose work through coaching, content, and digital products exists to empower hundreds of thousands of people to overcome their biggest obstacles and find their flow at work, in love, and in life. She has spoken on stages across the world and has appeared in Forbes, Vogue, Allure, Nylon, The Sunday Times, and more. How Do You Choose?: A Human Design Guide to What’s Best for You at Work, in Love, and in Life by Erin Claire JonesYou can find out your Human Design blueprint at humandesignblueprint.com!

As we close season 16, I have a guest today that goes all the way back to season one of the show—well, actually, for me personally he goes back way further than that, but more on that in a moment. Dr. Sparky Reardon was one of my very first guests on season one of I’d Rather Be Reading, and I encourage you to go back and listen to that episode from 2021 if you enjoy this conversation, which I know you will. I have said this on the show before—I am originally from Kansas, and when I moved to Oxford, Mississippi to go to graduate school and work at the University of Mississippi, better known as Ole Miss, I didn’t know what to expect. Back when I was a very junior graduate assistant working in Greek life at Ole Miss, Sparky was my boss’s boss’s boss. Despite that, he was friendly, approachable, and quickly became like a father figure to me. I’m not alone. As his new book The Dean: Memoirs and Missives shows, Sparky tends to have that paternal effect on the hundreds of thousands of students he interacted with during his time as Dean of Students at Ole Miss. When it comes to Oxford and Ole Miss, Sparky is about as legendary as they come. He’s, in my mind anyway, on the level of the Mannings or any other beloved Ole Miss figure. I met Sparky in 2009, and we have kept in touch even after I moved from Oxford in 2013. We went out for brunch maybe a couple of years ago, and it was like going to brunch with a famous person for how many people came up to the table to say hello. He is like everyone’s favorite mayor, minus the politics of it all. I think you listeners will enjoy Sparky’s Southern drawl and his endless stories, many of which are captured in The Dean. I stayed up late—a rarity for me these days—and could not put this book down. Sparky is originally from Clarksdale, Mississippi, in the Mississippi Delta, if you’re not familiar; after serving at Ole Miss for years, he became Dean of Students in 2000, a position he held until his retirement in 2014. You can imagine the thousands of stories Sparky collected in that role over all of those years, from the hilarious to the tragic. He is a deeply, deeply talented writer—more than your average memoirist—and myself and so many others have been begging him to write this book for years. I am so glad it’s finally out in the world, and I’m thrilled to talk to him about it. When he’s not writing bestselling books and going on tour to support it, he enjoys his porch in Taylor, Mississippi—which is a beautiful porch, I might add—a good cigar, a sip of scotch, and the occasional poker game. You’ll love him, just like we all do. The Dean: Memoirs and Missives by Dr. Sparky Reardon

The kickoff of college football, blessedly, is just around the corner, something I’ve been waiting for since January and the end of the last college football season. College football is jam-packed with rivalries, and one of the most heated among them is the rivalry between the University of Alabama Crimson Tide and the Auburn Tigers. Both teams are located, of course, in Alabama, where I lived—Birmingham specifically—for nearly 11 years, so this is a rivalry I know well. Their annual matchup every November is called the Iron Bowl, and today on the show I have decorated sportswriter Jay Busbee here to talk about it and his new book, Iron in the Blood: How the Alabama vs. Auburn Rivalry Shaped the Soul of the South, which is out August 26. Today on the show Jay and I discuss how vicious the hatred actually is between these two teams, why the Iron Bowl is called as such, what rivalries mean to college football, the infamous Kick Six play and whether Jay thinks that is the best Iron Bowl moment of all time, what his favorite tradition is from each school—both schools are filled with traditions—and so much more. By the way, this book is a great companion piece to Netflix’s new docuseries SEC Football: Any Given Saturday, which my husband and I just binged. Jay is a senior writer for Yahoo Sports and has covered the Olympics, the Super Bowl, the Masters, the World Series, the Daytona 500, the Kentucky Derby, and, you guessed it, the Iron Bowl. He hosts the travel and history show Home Turn for NASCAR Studios and has a Substack about Southern culture, “Flashlight & A Biscuit.” In addition to Iron in the Blood, Jay has written the book Earnhardt Nation, a biography of NASCAR’s Earnhardt family, and, according to his biography, he “worships at the church of SEC football.” He has written everywhere from ⁠ESPN.com⁠ to Esquire, USA Today, The Washington Post, and more.⁠Iron in the Blood: How the Alabama vs. Auburn Rivalry Shaped the Soul of the South⁠ by Jay Busbee

The kickoff of college football, blessedly, is just around the corner, something I’ve been waiting for since January and the end of the last college football season. College football is jam-packed with rivalries, and one of the most heated among them is the rivalry between the University of Alabama Crimson Tide and the Auburn Tigers. Both teams are located, of course, in Alabama, where I lived—Birmingham specifically—for nearly 11 years, so this is a rivalry I know well. Their annual matchup every November is called the Iron Bowl, and today on the show I have decorated sportswriter Jay Busbee here to talk about it and his new book, Iron in the Blood: How the Alabama vs. Auburn Rivalry Shaped the Soul of the South, which is out August 26. Today on the show Jay and I discuss how vicious the hatred actually is between these two teams, why the Iron Bowl is called as such, what rivalries mean to college football, the infamous Kick Six play and whether Jay thinks that is the best Iron Bowl moment of all time, what his favorite tradition is from each school—both schools are filled with traditions—and so much more. By the way, this book is a great companion piece to Netflix’s new docuseries SEC Football: Any Given Saturday, which my husband and I just binged. Jay is a senior writer for Yahoo Sports and has covered the Olympics, the Super Bowl, the Masters, the World Series, the Daytona 500, the Kentucky Derby, and, you guessed it, the Iron Bowl. He hosts the travel and history show Home Turn for NASCAR Studios and has a Substack about Southern culture, “Flashlight & A Biscuit.” In addition to Iron in the Blood, Jay has written the book Earnhardt Nation, a biography of NASCAR’s Earnhardt family, and, according to his biography, he “worships at the church of SEC football.” He has written everywhere from ESPN.com to Esquire, USA Today, The Washington Post, and more.Iron in the Blood: How the Alabama vs. Auburn Rivalry Shaped the Soul of the South by Jay Busbee

We’ve got a great episode for you today with Scott Ellsworth about his new book Midnight on the Potomac: The Last Year of the Civil War, the Lincoln Assassination, and the Rebirth of America, which is out July 15. I told Scott in today’s episode that the subtitle alone sounds like three books—he covers so much ground here, and it’s written in such a narrative format that you will just gobble this book about history up. I am personally partial to history—it’s always been my favorite subject—but even if that’s not you, the way that Scott writes is so gripping and compelling, you honestly won’t want to put the book down. This book is about the last year of the Civil War and is a new account of the assassination of Abraham Lincoln; we go deep into the stories of figures, like Lincoln, that you know from the Civil War era, but also those you have maybe never heard of, like the female war correspondent Lois Adams. The cast of characters is enormous and fascinating. You’ll likely also walk away looking at Lincoln's assassin John Wilkes Booth differently—and how Lincoln’s assassination was bigger than just one lone actor. The book opens with the deeply powerful line “This is a book about how we almost lost our country,” and it takes us through the story in acts—which I admit I’ve never seen before in a book, and I loved. This is a myth-shattering book written by New York Times bestselling author and historian Scott Ellsworth, who is also the author of The Secret Game, The Ground Breaking, Death in a Promised Land, and The World Beneath Their Feet, and he’s a former Smithsonian Institution historian who has written about American history for The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The Los Angeles Times. In addition to writing great historical works, he also teaches at the University of Michigan, and he’s a totally great person. Midnight on the Potomac: The Last Year of the Civil War, the Lincoln Assassination, and the Rebirth of America by Scott Ellsworth

Happy July—so excited to be back with you to talk about one of my favorite books I’ve read lately, Dr. Michael Norton’s The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harness the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions, which came out April 9, 2024. We have talked at length about habits on the show, but today, ritual gets its due. Dr. Norton explains what ritual is, and how, in his words, ritual can shift our lives from black and white to Technicolor. We talk about the power of ritual, what the difference is between habit and ritual, how ritual can change us and help us find the more we are seeking (again, in Dr. Norton’s words), how rituals emerge in the first place, if there is such a thing as a bad ritual, and if a person can overdo rituals or have too many rituals. We talk about everything from rituals in marriage—definitely pay attention to the clinking forks story—to ritual in grief, and how he’s felt about the overwhelmingly positive response to the book since it came out over a year ago. Dr. Norton is a professor of business administration at the Harvard Business School; he is a longtime expert on human behavior, and he has also co-authored with Elizabeth Dunn Happy Money: The Science of Happier Spending. His TEDx talk, “How to Buy Happiness,” has been viewed nearly 4.5 million times, and you may have seen his work in The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Scientific American, and numerous other outlets from print to television, radio, and podcast. We’re certainly happy to have him on this podcast. The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harness the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions by Dr. Michael Norton

We’ve got such a fun one for you today—we’re chatting with Nora Princiotti about her new book Hit Girls: Britney, Taylor, Beyonce, and the Women Who Built Pop’s Shiniest Decade, which comes out on June 17. This book is being billed—rightfully so—as “the ultimate love letter to pop music,” and in this book Nora takes us on a deep dive into how female pop stars broke through the music industry in the 2000s and changed the game forever. Nora covers so many women in this book—Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Jessica Simpson, Mandy Moore, Rihanna, Taylor Swift, Beyonce, Avril Lavigne, Katy Perry—and that’s just for starters. She talks about how these women redefined the role of the pop star, not only within the music industry, but within culture, more broadly. Nora writes that “the aughts were a harrowing but magical time in music for women,” and she tells us all about why in today’s episode. Nora is a staff writer at The Ringer, where she covers culture—everything from Taylor Swift to the NFL. Speaking of the NFL, Nora was previously a reporter for The Boston Globe, where she covered the New England Patriots dynasty. Nora currently co-hosts the Every Single Album podcast, which just hosted Miley Cyrus—so covering female artists is a specialty of hers. She writes in Hit Girls that, “though the aughts were over, they certainly left a mark.” We’re going to dig into what that mark is right now.Hit Girls: Britney, Taylor, Beyonce, and the Women Who Built Pop’s Shiniest Decade by Nora Princiotti

So excited to be back with you and our guest today, Megan Hellerer, author of Directional Living: A Transformational Guide to Fulfillment in Work and Life, which came out last September 24. In this book, Megan introduces us to the concept of the underfulfilled overachiever—and I bet there are many of you listening, like myself, who will completely resonate with that term. Underfulfilled overachievers, Megan writes, have been taught the concept of destinational living—but through her book, as the title suggests, Megan is introducing a new way forward, a more fulfilling way forward: directional living. Of course, Megan talks all about what that means in today’s episode, and why this is the better way. We talk about how to begin this paradigm shift and the five phases it takes to do so; what a “fulfillment ache” is; the difference between a fear self and a true self; and so much more. Megan is a career coach and the founder of the appropriately named Coaching for Underfulfilled Overachievers. She has worked with hundreds to transform their lives by transforming their careers, and she is a Stanford graduate, a former Google executive, and sees her mission and purpose now to provide others with the support and guidance that she needed when she was struggling. She has been featured everywhere from Vogue to The Wall Street Journal, CNBC, New York, and The Times, and I’m really excited for you to meet her.Directional Living: A Transformational Guide to Fulfillment in Work and Life by Megan Hellerer

One of the most popular books of 2025 so far is Dr. Judith Joseph’s High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy, which introduces us to the concept of High Functioning Depression—where you may look fine on the outside but don’t feel fine on the inside. When people think of depression, they most likely think of “can’t get out of bed” depression—but what about the lesser-known side of depression, the one that mostly stays hidden? If you are going through a time in your life where everything feels off, if you’re struggling to find joy in happy moments, if you’re walking around feeling numb, if you feel restless when you aren’t busy or empty when you’re sitting still—this book and this conversation might be for you. Today, Dr. Joseph and I talk about anhedonia—a word I had never heard of before she introduced me to it—and her five Vs, which are the crux of the book: validation, venting, values, vitals, and vision. The five Vs are our way out of High Functioning Depression, which I call HFD throughout the episode. Dr. Joseph talks about how trauma plays into HFD and so much more—it’s such a rich conversation. Dr. Joseph is a board-certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist and researcher who specializes in mental health and trauma. She is the founder and chief investigator at Manhattan Behavioral Medicine, New York City’s premier clinical research site, a clinical assistant professor in child and adolescent psychiatry at NYU’s medical center, and chairwoman of the Women in Medicine Board at Columbia. She’s extremely popular on social media and holds an undergraduate degree from Duke as well as a medical doctorate and a master’s in business administration from Columbia. All of this, and the one and only Mel Robbins wrote the foreward for this book—further proof that it’s such an important read. High Functioning: Overcome Your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy by Dr. Judith Joseph

Today on the show I’m thrilled to have Sophie Gilbert, author of Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves, which came out April 29. This book looks specifically at the late 1990s and early 2000s—when both Sophie and I were coming of age—as an inflection point, when the energy of feminism collapsed and regressed into a period of hyper-objectification, sexualization, and infantilization. This book examines the era across movies, music, fashion, television, tabloid journalism, the ever-present paparazzi and more and paints a picture of a vicious attack against women in the spotlight and damaging trickle down effects for those who weren’t. Not shockingly, what happened in the early 21st century still has consequences today, and Sophie and I are digging into it. We talk about a great many things in this episode, and I want to fill you in on a bit about Sophie: she is a staff writer at The Atlantic, where she writes about books, television, and pop culture. She is the winner of the 2024 National Magazine Award for Reviews and Criticism and was a finalist for the 2022 Pulitzer Prize in Criticism. Girl on Girl follows 2023’s book of essays, On Womanhood: Bodies, Literature, Choice, and I’m excited for you to hear from her and all she has to say. Girl on Girl: How Pop Culture Turned a Generation of Women Against Themselves by Sophie Gilbert