Midweek Reset: On Arrival Fallacy

Lewis Cohen, a psychiatrist and dementia researcher and Jeff Zesiger, a hospice specialist, discuss the complexities of end-of-life decisions for dementia patients. Cohen, talks about the subject of his book “Winter’s End: Dementia and Dying Well,” Dan Winter who decided to end his life at 61 due to early-onset dementia. Zesiger highlights the challenges of making end-of-life choices with dementia, noting the conundrum in that the six month requirement for medical aid in dying does not apply. Dan’s husband, John Forsgren, talks about Dan’s certainty and uncompromising approach to life and says it was Dan’s wish to share his story and advocate for great patient autonomy.   Guests: Lewis Cohen : Psychiatrist and dementia researcher at Tufts University School of Medicine in Springfield, Massachusetts and author of “Winter’s End: Dementia and and Dying Well"  Jeff Zesiger: Hospice & palliative specialist in Springfield, Massachusetts.  Serves on the board of the Massachusetts Death with Dignity Committee.  Jon Forsgren: spouse of Dan Winter

This week, Kelsey Johnson, astronomer and author of  Into the Unknown:The Quest to Understand the Mysteries of the Cosmos talks about the Cosmos and the moral necessity of exploring existential questions about it’s and our existence. Johnson says nurturing our curiosity and cultivating a deeper connection with the stars in the night sky helps us gain a greater perspective of who we are and our place in the Cosmos.  This episode of Life Examined with Kelsey Johnson was broadcast January 5th 2025  Guest: Kelsey Johnson Professor of astronomy at the University of  Virginia and author of “Into the Unknown:The Quest to Understand the Mysteries of the Cosmos.”  Also former president of the American Astronomical Society and founder of the award-winning Dark Skies, Bright Kids program.      

Writer and author Pico Iyer chronicles his over one hundred retreats to a small Benedictine hermitage high above the ocean in Big Sur, Northern California. Sharing personal experiences and stories, Iyer delves into the transformative nature of silence, contemplation and solitude. 

This week, Alex Hutchison, writer and author of  Endure and The Explorer’s Gene: Why We Seek Big Challenges, New Flavors, and the Blank Spots on the Map, talks about the Arrival Fallacy - that what we expect to feel after we accomplish a goal like getting a promotion or running a marathon sometimes doesn’t quite match up with our expectations. Rather than seeking a life changing transformation, Hutchinsons says to focus on the satisfaction and joy that’s gained from the process of achievement and not necessarily the outcome.

In the aftermath of the massive devastation, loss of life, homes and communities due to the recent fires in Los Angeles, George Bonanno, Margot Kushell and Carolyn Korsmeyer talk about trauma, resilience and why our homes and possessions are an integral part of who we are and the legacy we leave. 

This week, Brad Stulberg writer and author of “Master Of Change: How To Excel When Everything Is Changing - Including You,” shares hopeful observations from the aftermath of Hurricane Helene and reminds us that it takes time, sometimes months to recover from a large trauma but that given time despair will turn to resilience and people are able to move forward. 

Author and palliative care doctor Sunita Puri reflects on the hope that drives people to hold on to life, and the uncertainties surrounding death. Endurance athlete and author Alex Hutchinson talks about the psychology and physiology behind human endurance.   

This week MIT cognitive scientist and author Tali Sharot reflects on how variety and breaking up routines and habits can help foster a reset and restore joy in our lives. Traveling or learning a new skill can be stimulating, challenging and lead us to a greater sensitivity and appreciation of life.

Johnsons points out that being engaged in the larger questions of our existence is also healthy for us. “We need this exposure to the universe to invoke humility, to kindle our humanity, to really spark creativity and curiosity.”  Johnson also speculates on the existence of extraterrestrial life and unexplained sightings, suggesting that, given the vastness of the cosmos, it’s more likely than not that other forms of life exist. “I think it's probably more likely than not that they exist…If there is extraterrestrial life, chances are that they are probably millions or 10s of millions of years more technologically advanced than we are…If they don't want to be seen, we're not going to see them.”  One thing that Kelsey Johnson does want us to see more of is the night sky.  Currently, there are only two spots in the eastern half of the country “that can still reach levels of darkness in the night sky that are considered pristine. And that is extreme northern Minnesota, right on the Boundary Waters, there's a little pocket. And in extreme northern Maine, right up, in the top near Canada.”   Losing access to the night skies results in a further disconnection from the universe. As Johnson points out, the only “accessible forms of awe to humanity over millennia has been the night sky, and now 80% of the global population doesn't have access to it.”  “If they don't have access to [a dark sky], they don't know what they're missing, and they don't know what is being lost.”  Johnson points out that light pollution has largely gone unnoticed, yet its impact on our ecosystem has been devastating. "It's affecting all the flora and fauna," she says. "It now has traceable impacts on a whole host of things related to human health. Everything from insomnia and depression to cancer." Delve deeper into life, philosophy, and what makes us human by joining the Life Examined discussion group on Facebook.

*This episode originally aired on July 23, 2023. Navigating the relentless pace of the modern world often means being bombarded by daily distractions, sleep deprived and perhaps a little stressed or anxious. It’s not easy. When it comes to looking for a moment of reflection and recalibration, it’s worthwhile to reexamine some of the philosophies and practices rooted in one of the world’s oldest cultures: Japan.  Jonathan Bastian talks with Pico Iyer, travel writer and author of “The Half Known Life: In Search of Paradise.” Born and raised in England, Iyer spent much of his younger adult life in New York and California before moving to Japan in 1992. From his first day there, Iyer recalls, he felt, “a mysterious sense of recognition … as soon as I spent my first morning in Japan walking around near the airport in Tokyo — not, obviously, an interesting or romantic place — I felt, ‘I know this place and this place knows me.’” More: In search of paradise — and why travel writer Pico Iyer says it may be within Since then, Iyer has discovered that the more time he spends there, the better. Perhaps that’s because, at 66, he’s aged into a society in which being “older” is also culturally revered and embraced.  “Maybe the real reason I wanted to move was [because] it's a very mature, seasoned old society. For me, going to Japan was like seeking out an elder,” Iyer says. “I've reached the age when I really want to learn how to live and what it all means, and I felt that Japan could offer that as well as anywhere.” The Eastern philosophy that dominates Japanese cultural traditions centers itself on a strong sense of community. In contrast to the US, where individualism is revered, Japanese society is generally collectivistic, with people often viewing themselves and others as members of cooperative groups or units. Accordingly, older members of Japanese society are respected for their wisdom and maturity.   More: The external and internal pilgrimage: Author Pico Iyer on the purpose of journeying in modern times Iyer also discusses the concept of impermanence, a tenet of Buddhist philosophy that Iyer says is “deeply woven into every fabric” of Japanese society.   “Every April, everyone races out to see the cherry blossoms, precisely because they last for only ten days. And if they were to last, even for a month, there'd be none of the excitement and none of the sense of grabbing the moment,” he says. “[It’s a] Japanese truth, which is a universal truth: Nothing lasts forever.”  Pico Iyer, pictured here, explains that in Japanese culture, “the fact that nothing lasts is a reason that everything matters, every moment matters, and one can't take anything for granted.” Photo courtesy of Derek Shapton.  More: Spiritual writer Pico Iyer says now is the time confront who we really are Social and medical anthropologist Iza Kavedžija has done extensive research and fieldwork with two distinct groups of people in the Kansai region of Japan. Her primary focus, and the subject of her book “Making Meaningful Lives: Tales from an Aging Japan,” has been examining how older members of Japanese society are cared for by the community and by one another.  In Osaka, Kavedžija observed that in order to maintain social links and ties, older people have created a social network — a sort of social safety net that they need in order to live well. Surprisingly, it's Japan's older generation that’s “driving societal changes,” explains Kavedžija. “We don't tend to think of older people as those who are driving the processes of social change and crafting new social relations, but that's exactly what they were doing.” Another practice Kavedžija observed in her research, and which in recent years has gained international traction as a lifestyle philosophy, is that of ikigai, which translates to “reason for being.” “Ikigai can sometimes be quite a modest pursuit, some small hobby or small set of interests, or even a form of attention,” explains Kavedžija.  “Being able to observe the birds in the garden through the window, and being able to do that every day, and that simply gets you out of bed, can be seen as a form of ikigai. … It's looking out for those small things in life that kind of get you going.” Kavedžija says Japanese philosophy is very much guided by the principles of humility, gratitude, and community. What struck her, particularly in her research with the elderly, was the cultivation of broad networks of care.  “Even among fairly old people in their 80s and 90s, they themselves were not only just recipients of care, but were very caring and involved in numerous caring relationships, which would scaffold other people's lives,” she says. While researching Japanese society, Iza Kavedžija, pictured here, observed that, “when disposing of things, people would often kind of thank things for their service, or try to find a good home for an item, passing it on to someone who needs it. And this way of being in the world is quite helpful in a society where there's a lot of objects, and there's a lot of consumerism.” Delve deeper into life, philosophy, and what makes us human by joining the Life Examined discussion group on Facebook.