142 - I Can Only Assume

This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Save 20% on your FIRST order and get a FREE cat toy at PrettyLitter.com/camp (Pretty Litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only come from a licensed Veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See site for details.)Works Cited:➜ Graig Graziosi. Mystery Pilot Is Stealing a California Man’s Plane before Repairing and Returning It, The Independent, 8 Aug. 2025.➜ Sarah Kuta. “Colorado Is Building the ‘world’s Largest’ Wildlife Overpass, Giving Elk and Other Big Creatures a Safe Path to Cross a Busy Freeway.” Smithsonian Magazine, 4 Aug. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who signed up to nanny in a mansion, but ended up working at Goodwill, a camper breaking and entering in the name of love, and a haunting in the snack aisle.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this episode, Counselor Zachariah checks into the infirmary cabin, then begins screaming Nickelback in the woods while Jonathan recites the heavy award-winning scene form the hit 2019 musical, Marriage Story.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Tackle your to-do list today and get 15% off your first task at taskrabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code CAMPCOUNSELORS ➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get 30% off your first order and a FREE gift.Works Cited:➜ Zack Sharf. “Scarlett Johansson and Adam Driver Fighting In ‘marriage Story’ Is Being Used by the USDA to Scare off Wolves and Save Cattle: ‘They Need to Know Humans Are Bad.’” Variety, 4 Aug. 2025.➜ Stephanie Ip. “B.C. Man Heard Yelling in Forest Just Singing Nickelback.” Vancouver Sun, 1 Aug. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper caught between family bonding and bladder betrayal, a dream date that capsized, and the tale of a camper who kind of catfished her best friend’s boyfriend.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMPCheck out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This episode almost didn't go out because the termites ate most of it!! Rest assured, Sammich handled it... he is resting now in the infirmary cabin.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Score sizzling summer deals like up to 50% off at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselorsWorks Cited:➜ “Man Awarded $12,500 after Google Street View Camera Captured Him in His Yard in Argentina.” CBS News, CBS Interactive, 25 July 2025.➜ Rebecca Morelle and Alison Francis. “World’s First IVF Rhino Pregnancy ‘Could Save Species.’” BBC News, BBC, 24 Jan. 2024. Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper dodging drunken baby fever, a camper who went from a wet t-shirt contest to fugitive in 30 seconds, and a camper's disturbing midnight snack confession.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMPCheck out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Pack your bags, campers. We are taking you to Buffalo, New York! In this episode we share all the wild details from Zachariah’s live show stop in Buffalo, including our pilgrimage to the restaurant where buffalo wings were invented. YES HONEY ZACH WENT DOWN TO THE BONE! Then we visited Niagara Falls. No biggie. Then we get into the bizarre news story about Chuck E. Cheese getting arrested, and the major impact a small vase of fresh flowers in a room can make.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 20% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Go to Zocdoc.com/CAMP to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.➜ Tackle your to-do list today and get 15% off your first task at taskrabbit.com or on the TaskRabbit app using promo code CAMPCOUNSELORSWorks Cited:➜ Ben Hooper. “Woman Flooded with Calls about Nonexistent Cat Due to a T-Shirt.” UPI, 18 July 2025.➜ Erin Keller. “Kids Watch Chuck E. Cheese Mascot Arrested for Credit Card Fraud.” The Independent, 25 July 2025. Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

In this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper who became the most famous girl on campus, for all the wrong reasons, a camper with a nightmare waiting outside the bathroom stall, and a camper who came face to face with an intruder.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ Bring your A-game and talk to your doctor. Learn more at Apretude.com or call 1-888-240-0340.➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMP at checkout to get 20% off your first order.➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMP➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE shipping on your first box.Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

LET'S GET PICKLEDDD lol. This week, we are soaking up the brine and reflecting on our recent religious retreat to Picklesburgh! Yes. The pickle festival. We’re talking pickle beer, pickle fudge, and a chocolate-covered abomination that should have someone behind bars. Probably Jonathan lol. It’s tangy. It’s chaotic. It’s everything you never knew you needed to know. LOVE YAThis episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sponsors:➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 20% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.Works Cited:➜ Sheena Goodyear. “Chimps Are Sticking Grass and Sticks in Their Butts, Seemingly as a Fashion Trend | CBC Radio.” CBCnews, CBC/Radio Canada, 11 July 2025.➜ Dan Hunt. “Experiment Finds Yoghurt Can Lower House Temperature.” BBC News, BBC, 12 July 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

IIn this mini episode, we are reading listener submitted stories about a camper torn between a life she loves and a future she didn’t ask for, a Chicken Cutlet Caper, and a tale of a camper causing the most unintentional grand opening sabotage in yoga history.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour HERE!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.