Fresh Take: Sarah Gristwood on What We Can Learn From Women's Diaries

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour Parenting is a constant process of choosing the lesser evil. When it's stomach flu or Coxsackie, they're both bad, but when you're playing Would You Rather?, you've still got to pick one. In this episode, Amy and Margaret discuss: What their kids' names REALLY are Rat backpacks The horror of perma-noisemakers We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour What does it mean to perform the role of "dad" in today's world? How do the ways the world perceives our children affect the ways we perceive ourselves? Lucas Mann is the author of ATTACHMENTS: ESSAYS ON FATHERHOOD AND OTHER PERFORMANCES, a collection of essays about parenting that The New Yorker just called "intense, poetic, and almost uncomfortably honest." In this interview, Lucas tells us about his experiences, how and why he writes, and what he's learned along the way. Here's where you can find Lucas Mann: www.lucasmann.com @lucaswmann on IG @LucasWMann on X Buy ATTACHMENTS: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781609389536 https://www.newyorker.com/books/under-review/should-we-expect-more-from-dads We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, fatherhood, father, dad, dads, fathers day Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour Amy thought The Love Boat was filmed in real time, at sea. Margaret's grandfather had all the kids convinced his dining room light switch controlled the Tappan Zee Bridge. We asked our listeners for all the silliest things they fully believed as children, and in this episode, we highlight all of the absolute dumbest. We got all of these answers from our Facebook group! You can join in on the fun here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour “God never gives you more than you can handle.” “Look on the bright side.” “It could be worse.” These are examples of toxic positivity. They're platitudes we’ve all heard and we all know are (to say the least) less than helpful. So why do people feel the need to put a good spin on things when disaster strikes, and how do we break out of that habit? We talk about our own experiences with toxic positivity, what we’ve learned from them, and what we’re still working on. In this episode, we discuss: How overvaluing positives functions as a survival mechanism Why toxic positivity actually makes us less happy How to counter toxic positivity and how to stay graceful towards people who offer us outlooks we may not want or need Here are links to some of the articles we discuss in this episode: Brock Bastian and Ashley Humphrey for The Conversation: “How to avoid ‘toxic positivity’ and take the less direct route to happiness” Allyson Chiu for The Washington Post : Time to ditch ‘toxic positivity,’ experts say: ‘It’s okay not to be okay’ Elizabeth Bernstein for The Wall Street Journal : Toxic Positivity Is Very Real, and Very Annoying Links to other episodes that mention toxic positivity: Fresh Take: Kate Bowler on the Truths We Need To Hear Fresh Take: Taylor Harris on Motherhood, Genetics, and Facing the Unknown We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, toxic positivity Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour How do the stereotypes we harbor about raising boys harm them in the long term? Ruth Whipmann, author of BOYMOM: REIMAGINING BOYHOOD IN THE AGE OF IMPOSSIBLE MASCULINITY, discusses what most modern parenting advice misses when it comes to raising boys. Ruth, Margaret, and Amy discuss: why so much parenting advice for boys has historically sidelined the role of mothers the ways in which the emotional lives of boys are suppressed how to be "annoying in service of the project" of changing the conversation in your own family Here's where you can find Ruth: https://www.ruthwhippman.com @ruthwhippman on X and IG Follow Ruth on Substack: https://substack.com/@ruthwhippman Buy BOYMOM: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593577639 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, feminism, raising boys, boyhood Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour Most of us hear “bullying” and picture a sand-kicking, lunch-money-stealing menace. But today’s bullying can take other forms. Research by Dr. Charisse Nixon shows that about 7% of kids report experiencing physical aggression once a week— but that HALF of kids report experiencing relational aggression at least once a month.  On the other hand, as bullying expert Signe Whitson explains, some things get termed “bullying” that are more correctly described as mean or rude. Knowing the difference as parents will help our children navigate these waters more effectively.  In this episode we discuss how to help our children understand what bullying is, plus how to know if our kids are being bullied themselves— since it’s the kids who are truly frightened and struggling who are often the most likely not to tell us.  We also discuss whether, how much, and in what ways parents should intervene— somewhere in the middle ground between “so find new friends!” and beating the bully up yourself. (Spoiler alert: don’t do either of those things.)  Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in this episode: Katie Hurley for Washington Post On Parenting: "What does childhood anxiety look like? Probably not what you think." Katie Hurley for PBS Kids: What to Do If Your Child Is Being Bullied Sherri Gordon for Very Well Family: 7 Tips for Helping Kids Deal With Being Ostracized Sumathi Reddy for WSJ: Little Children and Already Acting Mean Signe Whitson for Huffington Post: Rude Vs. Mean Vs. Bullying: Defining The Differences Louis Sachar: There's a Boy in the Girls' Bathroom  Join Our Facebook Group! https://www.facebook.com/groups/whatfreshhellcast We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, bullying, bullies, bullied Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What Fresh Hell Podcast is going on tour across the Northeast US this fall! Join us for a live version of the podcast and bring all your mom friends. We can’t wait to go back on the road! https://bit.ly/whatfreshhelltour Hooray, summer is finally here! No more French quizzes or spirit days to dress for last minute! So now what? Million-dollar summer camps? Kicking our kids outside from sunup to sundown so they don't drive us crazy? Here's how to give everyone, including yourself, a sane summer that won't send you into bankruptcy. Margaret and Amy discuss: Why summer light affects our mood Summer camp inflation Farmer's almanac predictions - here are the 2024 predictions Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode: Johns Hopkins School of Public Health: 7 Things To Know About Daylight Savings Time Michele Marchetti & Mia Taylor for Parents: How To Handle the Rising Costs of Summer Camp American Camp Association: How To Afford Camp We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, mom guilt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

During the pandemic, most moms hit a breaking point. All of the increased labor of childcare, at-home teaching, and caregiving seemed to land mostly, or only, on their plates. It was a clarifying moment for many of us that things simply could not continue as they were going—and that perhaps they had been going that way for a long time. Jessica Calarco is a Professor of Sociology at the University of Wisconsin and the author of the new book HOLDING IT TOGETHER: How Women Became America's Safety Net. In this interview, discusses the forces that place the burden of childcare and domestic labor on women. Jessica, Amy, and Margaret discuss: how societal expectations around motherhood have always pointed toward a lack of choices how "mom guilt" is weaponized to ensure women keep doing more than their share what Jessica calls "DIY society," and why it's a myth Here's where you can find Jessica: https://www.jessicacalarco.com @JessicaCalarco on X Buy HOLDING IT TOGETHER: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593538128 We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, mom guilt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We've both traveled with our extended families over and over again, and have loved the memories we've made together. But different bedtimes, sightseeing styles, and mealtime expectations can lead to unexpected conflict. Laura in our Facebook group wrote in to say: "Might be a fun episode before summer: large family vacation traditions. I'm wondering if there are favorite games/foods/tips/funny stories on going away with lots of members of your non-immediate family." As usual, our listeners responded with great tips for maintaining both organization and sanity when vacationing with extended family, and in this episode we discuss them all, including: Which conversations to have ahead of time—and which conversations never to have at all Systems for family vacations that don't fall on one person (or one gender) to execute Limiting your non-negotiables as a nuclear family ahead of time We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, vacations, family vacations, vacations with kids Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This month, we're doing a deep dive series into mom guilt—why it's so pervasive and what we can do about it. You can find the playlist with all of the episodes in the series here. In this episode we discuss all the reasons we’ve felt like failures as mothers, why we’re never as hard on others as we are on ourselves, and what we have done to mitigate these feelings of failure in our own lives.   “I feel like I’m failing at parenting fairly often,” our listener Becky wrote when she suggested this topic. If it makes you feel any better, Becky, you’ve got plenty of company. These self-inflicted guilt trips are nearly universal among mothers. But why? Is it the 24/7 nature of the job? Is it the admittedly high stakes that come from nurturing small humans towards successful adulthoods? Is it our parenting culture, which tells us no matter how much we do, how hard we try, there’s another mother doing it just a little bit better? We think it’s all of the above. We also think talking to other mothers is the best solution. Thanks for being part of our mothering community. Here’s links to research and other writing on this topic discussed in this episode: Regan Long for Motherly: To the Mom Who Feels Like She's Failing: You're Not. Promise. Heather Marcoux for Motherly: 66% of working parents feel like they're failing—but the system is actually failing them Doug Parker for Babble: I Feel Like I'm Failing This Parenting Thing Every Damn Day Denise Rowden for Empowering Parents: “I Feel Like a Failure as a Parent.” How to Turn That Hopeless Feeling Around We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/ mom friends, funny moms, parenting advice, parenting experts, parenting tips, mothers, families, parenting skills, parenting strategies, parenting styles, busy moms, self-help for moms, manage kid’s behavior, teenager, tween, child development, family activities, family fun, parent child relationship, decluttering, kid-friendly, invisible workload, default parent, mom guilt Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices