We Need Each Other podcast

Anna-Louise Bates is a donor mother. Her husband Stuart (Stu) and her son Fraser died after a road collision. Anna-Louise said yes to organ and tissue donation for both of them.Her son Fraser, the boy Fraser Bear is named after, saved four lives through organ donation. She turned her pain into purpose by founding Believe Organ Donor Support, a charity for donor families that also works to educate people about organ donation.Within days after the tragic death of her husband and son, she was searching for support for donor families, and when she couldn’t find any, she started building it. Ten years on, Believe is still growing.In this episode of We Need Each Other, she talks about the love that came before: Stu’s “good morning, Mrs Bates”, and Fraser, who dressed as a lion for a friend with cancer. She is also honest about the night itself, telling her three-year-old daughter Elizabeth the truth, the hospital hours, the ambulance to Bristol, and the guilt and anger that she says never run in a straight line.In this conversation:Growing up in a church community in CardiffMeeting Stu in Dublin, and the Maldives lineFun Day Monday to Fraser Friday: a family of fourFraser, the boy who dressed as a lionHow she told a three-year-old that her dad and brother had diedBeing asked about donation, and saying yes“You can’t take away my son”Keeping Fraser’s heartbeatStarting Believe, and the memorial garden with handprints in stoneWhy she wants to remove the taboo around donationWhy grief is not linearContent note: this episode discusses a fatal road collision, the death of a child and a spouse, and the hospital moments that followed. Anna-Louise says herself that parts of her book need the right headspace. Please take care. If it brings up difficult feelings, Samaritans are free to call on 116 123, any time, and Cruse Bereavement Support is on 0808 808 1677.If this story moves you, please do two things:Record your organ donation decision on the NHS Organ Donor Register. It takes two minutes: organdonation.nhs.ukTell your family. When the time comes, they will be asked whether they support your decision.Learn more about Believe Organ Donor Support: https://believeods.org.uk/CHAPTERS0:00 Introduction1:14 Welcome1:35 Growing up in the church in Cardiff3:44 Her parents' love story5:14 Meeting Stu in Dublin8:40 "Good morning, Mrs Bates"10:25 How her heart grew12:29 Fun Day Monday to Fraser Friday14:22 Who Fraser was18:57 Stu, the ultimate Father Christmas21:32 The night that changed everything24:15 Telling Elizabeth27:41 Remembering the night30:29 Saying yes to donation for Stu31:07 Fraser in intensive care33:31 The ambulance to Bristol35:42 Saying yes together, as a family37:01 Grief, support and asking for help40:34 Hearing where Fraser's organs went45:19 Starting Believe48:39 Making donation a conversation49:21 A little list for a big life52:00 Fraser's heartbeat53:51 The memorial garden56:53 Handprints in stone58:44 What Believe means now1:00:14 Removing the taboo1:03:19 Choosing hope over anger1:05:30 "This would never be God's will"1:06:36 "Don't live in what ifs"1:07:43 Grief isn't linear1:11:19 The future of BelieveLike, subscribe and share if this episode meant something to you.#OrganDonation #DonorFamilies #Believe #WeNeedEachOther #OrganDonorRegister

Sarah Crosby has spent ten years as a specialist nurse for organ donation in South Wales. Her job is to sit with families on the worst day of their lives and, when the time is right, ask whether they support their loved one’s decision to donate.In this episode of We Need Each Other, Sarah talks about how a career that started on an orthopaedic ward led her to corneal retrieval and then to organ donation. She explains what really happens behind the scenes, what families fear most, and how she looks after herself in a job that is heavy with grief.In this conversation:How a nurse becomes a specialist nurse for organ donationA cornea transplant that gave a new mum her sight backWhat happens, step by step, after a family says yesWhy donation is done with dignity, and what families are toldWhat donor families teach her every weekWhy she wants people to talk about donationIf this episode moves you, please do two things:Join the NHS Organ Donor Register. It takes two minutes: organdonation.nhs.ukTell your family. When the time comes, they will be asked whether they support your decision.CHAPTERS0:00 Introduction1:07 Growing up in South Wales2:08 “I was always meant to be a nurse”3:56 Ophthalmology and corneal retrieval6:14 The gift of sight8:02 Becoming a specialist nurse for organ donation9:21 What the role takes13:02 Supporting donor families13:31 How a donation referral starts19:49 Consent and the law in Wales22:07 Why time matters23:18 Fears about donation, and how dignity is protected25:57 What happens behind the scenes29:50 The hardest days, and looking after yourself35:54 Clinical supervision and support for nurses37:38 Following up with donor families42:50 Advice for nurses who want this role44:17 New technology giving organs a second chance46:38 Myths and fears47:52 Faith and organ donation50:19 What donor families teach her55:08 What she wants you to doLike, subscribe and share if this episode meant something to you.#OrganDonation #SpecialistNurse #WeNeedEachOther #OrganDonorRegister

Brian Morgan was a fit, active detective who trained in taekwondo several times a week. Thirteen days after he retired, he was told he needed a double lung transplant.He's still waiting. In this first episode of We Need Each Other, Brian talks about who he was before his diagnosis, how his life has changed, and what each day looks like now.You've probably heard from people who've had a transplant. It's much rarer to hear from someone who is still waiting, and that perspective matters.In this conversation:Life as a police detective, and the first signs that something was wrongA diagnosis that traced back to the parrots he'd fosteredRetiring, planning a move to Cyprus, and everything changing in 13 daysThe first call from the transplant team, and what happens when lungs aren't viableLiving with oxygen, and planning every day around the next callWhat he misses most, and what he hopes to do againIf this story moves you, please do two things:Join the NHS Organ Donor Register. It takes two minutes: organdonation.nhs.ukTell your family. When the time comes, they will be asked whether they support your decision.CHAPTERS0:00 Introduction1:01 Who Brian was before: 23 years as a detective2:57 Failing the police fitness test5:50 The ski trip that changed things6:33 The question about parrots11:05 Retirement and the plan to move to Cyprus16:11 "You need a double lung transplant"20:22 The four-day assessment in Birmingham22:40 The first call, and lungs that weren't viable32:22 Meeting Believe Organ Donor Support33:19 Skydiving for charity37:19 Staying strong, and the mental side50:08 Living with oxygen1:07:36 What Brian wants to feel again1:11:34 His message: sign the register, talk to your familyNew episodes every Sunday.Like, subscribe and share if this episode meant something to you. It helps more people hear these stories.https://www.instagram.com/landofthegrateful/#OrganDonation #WeNeedEachOther #DoubleLungTransplant #PulmonaryFibrosis #OrganDonorRegister

Death was certain. Then people showed up.I'm Sonsare Zabadi. A donor I never met gave me new lungs, and that gift means I've watched my son start nursery and become a dad again to a little girl.We Need Each Other is a podcast about organ donation, told by the people who've lived it recipients, donor families, and the professionals who do this work. Recorded face to face in Cardiff.Join the organ donor register at organdonation.nhs.uk and tell your family. Without their support it won't go ahead.Episode 1 lands Sunday.