This Queen Says

In this electric, unapologetic conversation, I sit down with Laitan Ajisafe (Lola), QCOG Class of 1990 - a woman who describes herself as an extroverted introvert, a doctor who calls medicine her “side hustle,” a mother of two who went to med school at 39, and someone who has spent her entire life aiming for 99.9% authenticity at all times.This conversation explores the cost of pretending to be someone you’re not, why you can’t bloom if you can’t be yourself, what “test all the spirits” really means, and why women need to stop hiding—from menopause to sexuality to aging to ambition. Laitan shows us that 99.9% authenticity isn’t about being reckless; it’s about recognizing which environments allow you to be yourself and knowing that if you’re not being yourself somewhere, that place is not where you’re meant to be.Laitan’s wisdom in her own words“You can’t be in your zone if you can’t be yourself. And we’re all uniquely different, so we’re meant to be us. If you’re trying to be something else, then that’s when everything just gets messed up.”“I essentially want to be me because whatever I’m doing, if I’m being me, then that’s where I’m meant to be. But if I now have to do, be somebody else to impress you, then I’ll be disappointed in myself.”-----------Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram or send an email to [email protected] by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com

In this profoundly honest conversation, I sit down with a dear friend, Nike Adeoti, who, according to her, passed through Queen’s College quietly but emerged years later as a revolutionary in Cuba, leading student strikes, invading embassies, and learning that standing up for yourself isn’t just acceptable, it’s necessary. Now a doctor, wife, and mother, Nike shares the moment that changed everything: asking herself "Why not you?" when life felt unfair.This conversation explores the danger of dishonesty among women, the freedom of admitting when life isn’t perfect, and the wisdom of understanding that attacks mean you have something valuable. Nike's message is clear: protect what you carry - your joy, your gifts, your calling because if life is coming after it, that's proof it's worth fighting for.Nike’s wisdom in her own words“I was thinking ‘woe is me, what’s happening to me?’ And then I thought: why not you? Would you be happier if it was happening to someone else?”“If you’re carrying something tangible, the devil has business with you. If you’re not, he has no business. So if things are coming after you, you carry something worth protecting.”“Nobody’s poop doesn’t stink. We’ve all got skeletons. Don’t judge people - give them the right conditions, lose all your money, lose your house, and then see if you wouldn’t steal. Get there first, then judge.”“If you don’t have people calling you for advice, you need to check yourself, it means they don’t think anything about you is wise.”“There’s something in your life that’s been constant through thick or thin. Whatever it is, don’t let life steal it from you. That’s what you carry. That’s the authentic you.”------------------------------Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram or send an email to [email protected] by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com

In this deeply reflective conversation, I sit down with Yoma Okwa, from the Class of 2006. After 13 years in the energy sector, Yoma is making a bold transition into education, turning a book club she started in 2017 into a children’s book company that designs libraries for schools across Nigeria and the UK. But this episode isn’t just about a career change. It’s about the moment Yoma realized she’d been following someone else’s script instead of choosing her own life.This conversation explores the courage it takes to course-correct, the freedom of creating your own path, and the patience required when everyone around you can’t recognize the version of you that’s emerging. Yoma’s message is clear: there is no structure, there are no rules, and you’re allowed to change your mind with new information, because at the end of the day, you only get one life, so make sure it’s the one you chose.Yoma’s wisdom in her own words“Loving myself was saying, ‘Actually, this is who I am. I’m not trying to be like anyone else. I’m not trying to imitate people. This is the path I’ve chosen for myself.’ It’s almost like creating your own path.”“You only get one life, you get just one pass, so make good use of it. Make sure it’s the one you chose. It’s not something that someone else has scripted for you.”“I wish women spoke more about patience. Good things take time—from your hair to your skin to your relationships. Everything gets better with time, just like fine wine.”“I had to learn to take time to really sit with myself and ask: Are you authentic? Is this the life you chose, or did you stumble on it? Just really asking hard questions.”---------------Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram or send an email to [email protected] by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com

In this hugely enjoyable chat, I sit down with Ify Okafor, from the Class of '97. A a woman who wears many crowns: certified wholeness coach, digital parenting advocate, and as well as her 9-5, Ify reflects on her journey from being a people pleaser to reaching a point today where she unapologetically declares: "you don’t have to be everyone’s cup of tea."At the heart of Ify's message is the courage to recognize that mental load is real and exhausting, and that it is important to know what is important to you. This conversation honours a woman who survived extreme burnout, four high-risk pregnancies and emerged as a reformed people pleaser ready to help other women do the same.Ify’s wisdom in her own words“I realized that I had to forgive people that probably didn't realize they hurt me. They were probably just bleeding and indeed that bled over me. And it was either I hold onto that or I let it go so that I could be free."“You’re lack of planning, ain’t gonna be my source of emergency. I'm sorry. I work, I run a business, but my family is my priority. And I'm very unapologetic about that."“I used to avoid conflict because I felt like conflict meant not liking me. But now, after all the work I've done on myself, I'll tell you what I think. If you don't like it, I get it. I understand. You may not be everybody's cup of tea. We will all be fine.”“God sometimes sends some of us through chaos first so that we can advocate for others about what not to do.”-------------Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram or send an email to [email protected] by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com

In this powerful conversation, I reconnect with Dr. Ife Morrison, my classmate and Class of ‘96. Now a cardiologist at the Vanderbilt Heart and Vascular Institute in Nashville, Ife reflects on her journey from being hyper-focused in medical school to reaching a point today where she proudly declares: “It’s time to flourish.”At the heart of Ife’s message is the courage to continue evolving, even when life throws significant obstacles your way, even when you’re merely taking the next step in survival mode, and even when you understate your own impact. This conversation honours a woman who has put in the work, navigated various life transitions, and is now ready to embrace her full potential.Ife’s wisdom in her own words“I am powerful, I am strong, I am worthy, I belong, and I can do anything. Say it to yourself until it becomes a part of you”“I want to emphasize to myself that you're still becoming. Who you are right now is still in transition. So embrace the transition. Don't let those challenges define you or make you feel shame”“You can have it all, but not necessarily all at the same time. And be happy with it. Be happy with that fact”"I want to say to my 65-year-old self: well done. And there's still more you can do. Don't stop having impact. Who says 65 is it? It's just an arbitrary time point"------------Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram or send an email to [email protected] by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com

In this fun episode, I sit down with Hannatu Adegboyega, a QC ‘99 girl who builds and leads high-performing sales teams in tech. This conversation explores navigating power dynamics as a young Black woman in male-dominated industry, the unspoken office politics women don’t talk about enough, and why being present matters more than having the perfect plan.Hannatu’s message is clear: prepare yourself while you wait, trust the timing even when it makes no sense, and when you’re 65, make sure you can answer the question—who have you helped?Hannatu’s wisdom in her own words“Be present. Be mindful. It’s very easy to get caught up in everything else”“I learned this summer that the most expensive things we did for my children were not the things they talk about most.”“You will give account of the resources and influence you’ve been given in your career, in the marketplace. If you can’t find one person, five people whose life changed because of you, you need to ask for a few more years.”“Enjoy where you are right now. You’re not gonna have it again.”-------Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram or send an email to [email protected] by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com

In this inspiring chat, I catch up with Ogo Nwokedi, my ‘W’ classmate. With nearly 20 years of experience as a lawyer in the shipping industry and as a published writer, she shares the liberating impact of her mother’s transformative advice: “You don’t have to be good at everything.” Words I think should be printed as posters.This conversation celebrates the courage to pivot, the freedom of not conforming to expectations, and the beauty of living authentically. Ogo’s message is clear: explore everything, enjoy the journey, don’t wait for perfect timing—and remember that every decade of a woman’s life is fantastic.Ogo in her own words“When you seem very resourceful and capable and you’re taking care of things, people assume that you’re fine. But the first person that you’re not being truthful with a lot of times is yourself. It’s important to tell yourself the truth when you’re alone, and look after yourself.”“We often underestimate what we’ve learned over the years. You don’t really know how much you’ve learned until you start to teach someone. We all know something. We all have something we can share.”“I would say smile, and be ready to explore. Be ready to have an adventure.”-------Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram or send an email to [email protected] by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com

In this inspiring conversation, I sit down with Kemi, a brand strategist, storyteller, and founder of Chrystallis Conversations. As a proud Queen's College girl standing on the cusp of 50, Kemi takes me through the defining moments of her life that have led her to where she is finally stepping into her "golden era." This conversation explores the beauty and challenges of change, growth, the pressure to conform, and why women's friendships deserve to be celebrated like weddings.Kemi's message is clear: we are all in the process of becoming, and there's beauty in the ‘chrystallis’ stage - even when it's dark, messy and no one quite understands.Kemi in her own words"No is a complete sentence.""You are allowed to become, you are supposed to be different versions of yourself. Your 10-year-old self is very different from your 20-year-old, from who's sitting here today. But many times it's as though you're supposed to be this one thing, this one version forever.""The process of birthing is messy. There's nothing cute about it. That messiness is what sometimes we, ourselves and often the people around us can't deal with.""I don't know what I would do if I didn't have my friends, my girlfriends, in my life. We should have parties celebrating friendships the way people have weddings."Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram or send an email to [email protected] by Bill Bellamy. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com

In this inspirational conversation, I sit down with Alo, who amongst many things was the one who pushed me to start this podcast. As an economist, business owner, and mother of three, Alo shares how she found her crown in life’s darkest crucible. She opens up about the moment she asked herself “Alo, where are you? I’m looking for you,” the loneliness of building a life in the UK while juggling everything, and why she believes women need to talk openly about making big money.This conversation explores self-discovery through faith, the “have it all” narrative that puts unnecessary pressure on women, and how she learned to define success on her own terms, choosing harmony over hustle. She reveals how the divine crucible refined her into gold and taught her that you can’t truly discover yourself outside of knowing your Creator.Alo’s message is clear: enjoy your queenly seat, wear your crown authentically, and guard your joy like your life depends on it, because it does.Alo’s wisdom in her own words“I want women to talk more about making big money. Not just small change - making it big and what you are doing with those funds.”“Don’t let anything or anyone or any devil steal your joy. The enemy and life’s events will try to chip away at your joy, and your joy is strength. Guard your hearts, guard your joy, guard your mind.”“Enjoy your queenly seat. Enjoy your crown. Wear it the way you want to wear it. Enjoy your authenticity. It’s your seat—decorate it the way you want to decorate it.”Remove that cape. Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram or send an email to [email protected] by Bill Bellamy This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com

In this deeply honest conversation, Enitan sits down with her cousin Tumi Aijbola. As a mother of three who stopped working for 10 years, Tumi reveals her biggest regret: being so focused on the future that she never fully enjoyed being present with her children. She discusses the need to carefully weighing up opportunities before making big decisions, the prophecy she didn't fully embrace, and why she's still waiting to exhale at 45.This conversation explores the pressure women put on themselves, the sacrifices parents make that children never see, and the weight of living in constant preparation for the next thing instead of being present for now. Tumi's message is clear: remove the cape, share your struggles, and stop trying to be superwoman—there's no award for it.Tumi’s Wisdom in Her Own Words“Don’t be too wrapped up in opinions. Live your life to the fullest. Be free. Love hard. Spend time with your loved ones. Don’t take any moment for granted.”“Share your burden. Don’t carry that burden alone. You don’t have to be superwoman all the time. Remove that cape. It’s not worth it. There’s no award for strongest woman ever.”“So far as you’re breathing, there’s still hope. Tomorrow will be better. Don’t hold onto the past. Look forward.”---------------- Thank you for listening! If you have a comment, question, want to be on the podcast or can think of somebody else who should, please don’t hesitate to send a message via Substack, DM on Instagram or send an email to [email protected] by Bill Bellamy This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thisqueensays.substack.com