What to do about Pretend “Guns” #69

In this episode, Jon speaks directly to parents worn down by constant power struggles—especially those navigating an ODD or PDA diagnosis—starting with the raw truth that holding the line often makes everything explode. Instead of doubling down on consistency or control, he reframes defiance as a nervous system response to perceived threat, not a character problem or a parenting failure. Listeners will walk away with relief, language for what’s really happening in these moments, and a steadier way to hold boundaries without becoming the enemy—grounded in safety, flexibility, and the radical idea that a child’s push for autonomy is not something to extinguish, but something to work with.Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

In this episode, Jon slows down one of the most familiar parenting moments—“You need to say you’re sorry”—and asks what we’re actually teaching when we force an apology. Rather than treating “sorry” as proof of character or accountability, he explores what’s happening in a child’s brain when adults are tense, watching, and waiting for the right words. The episode reframes apologies not as a demand, but as one small part of repair, shifting the focus from appeasing adults to caring for the person who was hurt. Parents will leave with a clearer, calmer way to handle these moments—one that builds empathy, responsibility, and real reconciliation instead of compliance. Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

In this episode, Jon explores what we often call “bossy” behavior and reframes it as leadership energy colliding with an underdeveloped social brain. Through vivid playdate moments and real parent questions, he unpacks why telling kids to stop being bossy misses the point—and how correction can quietly turn into shame, especially for strong-willed kids. Parents will walk away with a clearer way to distinguish control from influence, language that builds social awareness without dulling confidence, and a grounded reminder that the goal isn’t to soften a child’s intensity, but to help them learn how to lead in ways others want to follow.Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

This episode is for the parent quietly watching from the sidelines, wondering if their child is falling behind socially—or if they’re the only one who seems worried about it. We step into those moments where your kid hangs back, plays alone, gravitates toward adults, or misses social cues, and we slow the whole story down. Instead of rushing to labels or fixes, this conversation reframes social “lag” as temperament, context, and skill development unfolding on its own timeline. We explore how easily our own childhood wounds sneak into our fears, how extroversion gets mistaken for health, and why opting out isn’t the same thing as being excluded. Most of all, this episode offers relief: a way to see your child more clearly, respond with curiosity instead of panic, and trust that many of the traits that worry us at six can become strengths later—if we don’t shame them out of existence first.Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

This episode is for the parent quietly watching from the sidelines, wondering if their child is falling behind socially—or if they’re the only one who seems worried about it. We step into those moments where your kid hangs back, plays alone, gravitates toward adults, or misses social cues, and we slow the whole story down. Instead of rushing to labels or fixes, this conversation reframes social “lag” as temperament, context, and skill development unfolding on its own timeline. We explore how easily our own childhood wounds sneak into our fears, how extroversion gets mistaken for health, and why opting out isn’t the same thing as being excluded. Most of all, this episode offers relief: a way to see your child more clearly, respond with curiosity instead of panic, and trust that many of the traits that worry us at six can become strengths later—if we don’t shame them out of existence first. Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

In this episode, Jon sits with one of the most charged moments in parenting—the car door open, practice about to start, and a child saying, “I don’t want to do this anymore.” Through personal story and real parent questions, he explores why quitting is rarely about laziness or lack of grit, but about how kids experience overwhelm, unfairness, and frustration in their bodies.Parents will walk away with a steadier way to tell the difference between healthy discomfort and too much, language for guiding kids through hard beginnings, and permission to think in smaller units—finishing the chapter, not the whole book—as they help their children learn perseverance without sacrificing trust or connection. Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

In this episode, Jon addresses one of the most loaded questions parents ask quietly: what does it mean when my child wants to play guns, war, or “bad guys”? Grounded in the idea that most parents aren’t reacting to the play itself, but to the meaning they’re afraid it carries, he looks beneath the behavior to what high-arousal play is actually doing in a child’s brain. All of this plus "What to actually do...." Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

This episode is a quiet, reflective departure from Jon’s usual teaching format—part science, part story, part meditation on what parenting does to the human brain. Beginning with the migration of the Arctic tern, Jon explores how love quite literally rewires us, asking what happens when the self itself begins to migrate in service of another.Parents will walk away with a deeper understanding of neuroplasticity, caregiving, and identity—and a tender reassurance that feeling disoriented, changed, or unlike your former self isn’t a failure of parenting, but evidence that love is doing its work. Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

Friday yap with the Mrs.Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube

In this episode, Jon tackles one of the most anxiety-provoking parenting topics: kids and secrets—and why secrecy can feel so loaded for both children and parents. Centered on the idea that the most powerful word in a child’s world isn’t rule or consequence, but promise, he explains how secrecy hooks into loyalty, safety, and attachment long before kids have the brain development to navigate those tensions.Parents will walk away with clarity on the difference between privacy, surprises, and secrets, insight into why “just tell me” often backfires, and a calmer, more protective framework for becoming the kind of adult their child wants to tell when something really matters.Send us a textSupport the showLinks to help you and me: To support the Podcast, Subscribe on Substack Get Jon’s Top Five Emotional Regulation Games Get Jon’s Book Punishment-Free Parenting Preorder Jon’s Children’s Book Set My Feelings Free Follow Whole Parent on Instagram, Tiktok, Facebook, Youtube