The ReProgram

This week I’m joined by Kelly McDaniel, clinician and author of Mother Hunger, now in a revised edition with new chapters for men, firstborn and eldest daughters, and parents.Kelly names the ache so many of us carry without knowing what to call it. Mother hunger is the longing that can follow missing one or more of three things we need from mothering: nurturance, protection, and guidance. We talk about what nurturance looks like in infancy, through feeding, touch, holding, and proximity, and why consistent care matters so much while the brain is developing.We also explore why our culture’s ideal of independence and the isolated nuclear family can hide what humans are built for, which is connection. Kelly shares how unmet attachment needs can show up in adulthood as anxiety, depression, relationship distress, and disordered eating. Reading her book years ago completely changed the way I look at my relationship with food, as she illuminates how our relationship with food, is essentially our relationship with our mother, and food is our first way to regulate ourselves and manage our nervous system states. I share my own story, growing up with a warm mother and an intimidating father, and what it was like to have love without protection or guidance, a common dynamic in this patriarchal culture. And Kelly continues to warmly gently teach us the ultimate highest power of attachment in our bodies, and a trauma body is formed in a child, and how it is mitigated. Kelly is one of my clinical heroes, and her work has impacted my experience of myself and my mothering deeply. If you’ve ever felt a hunger, an emptiness, chronic unsettledness you couldn’t explain, this conversation is for you.And as I shared in the introduction, my friends as HapBe Valley Farm, are hosting two Mother Hunger retreats in 2027 here in Western North Carolina, you can find more information here: https://hapbevalley.com/mother-hunger-healing-with-horses-retreat/And you can connect with Kelly and her work and resources here: https://kellymcdanieltherapy.com/

Get ready, friends, because this conversation is pure magic! ✨ I sat down with Camille Barton, author of Tending Grief, DJ, movement artist and embodiment social designer, for a joyful deep dive into somatics, grief, and social change.We explore why somatics is so much more than a trauma tool, how grief can soften us and open the door to joy, why rest feels so hard (and why it matters so much), and how caring for our bodies ripples out into a kinder world. I also share a car line story that proves making a silly face can be revolutionary! 😄Hit play, take a deep breath, and come back home to your body with me! 💛And if you want to connect more with Camille's work, you can do so here! https://camillesaparabarton.com/

Why did the early church work so hard to bury the Gospel of Mary Magdalene, and what does her message about the divine within have to do with healing today? Okay y’all, grab your tea, because we are diving all the way into Christian mysticism, ego death, and The-Mary-Magdalene-Of-It-All!We are joined today by Chad Smith, a pastor investigated for heresy who was pushed out of his pulpit for being progressive, who then created a church "born in the ashes of evangelicalism" in his backyard during lockdown that grew through Sunday visits to a women’s prison. Chad grew up in evangelicalism and found his way to the mystical roots of Christianity, including the story of Mary Magdalene, whose gospel was suppressed for centuries. We talk about why marginalized communities so often lead spiritual awakening, what religious trauma does to our trust in anything sacred, and why the divine within (not an authority outside of us) may be the key to healing. We get into ego death, non-dual consciousness, shadow work, spiritual poverty in the middle of the American dream, and the places where mysticism and Western science are starting to meet.Plus goosebumps as your consciousness updating what’s possible, why healing without spirituality is like working out without water, and a few divine winks from Dolly Parton herself!You were never meant to heal alone, sweet friend. Your knowing, your authority, and your divine spark already live inside you, and the songs on the radio, the friends who show up right on time, and every butterfly at the window are reaching for you too. Come on in, because the magic is real and it is so ready for you!You can connect with Chad's Church, House of Mercy and the wonderful work they are doing here: https://houseofmercyavl.com/

Happy Spooky Season Everyone! I am kicking off October with the first of several episodes this month themed on the Unseen, what we can experience that we were told wasn't real, and expanding our concept of what is actually around us, available for us, and wanting to connect with us. We are starting the series with local Asheville artist, "Ghost Girls" Podcast host, and wise brave sweetie pie Nicole Marie Leth. I met Nicole last December because she made the jumpsuit of my dreams, I have looked at a couple of postcards she made every single day for all of 2026, and I could just tell she was a wildly interesting deep playful person I wanted to get closer to, but hearing her story absolutely blew me away, grew my Grinchy heart just a little bit bigger, and I know it will for you too. In this conversation, Nicole tells of her journey from childhood trauma to a life of public art and spirituality, and how the unseen support she's felt along the way became part of her healing. We talk about her public art projects, including affirmation quilts and billboards, and what it means to put kindness out into the world where strangers can stumble onto it. We also get into her work with ghosts, which she understands as confused or lost energies, and how that connects to the broader idea of spiritual support that is available to all of us if we're willing to open up to it.Nicole shares what it looks like to trust your emotions and cultivate softness as a source of resilience rather than a liability. We explore how to connect with ancestors and the divine through co-regulation and co-creation, and she offers practical tips for asking questions and following the intuitive nudges that show up in creative projects. We also talk about boundaries and trust in spiritual and emotional relationships, because being open to the unseen doesn't mean being open to everything.And we land on one of my favorite parts of the whole conversation: the power of small acts of kindness and anonymous service to transform lives, including the person doing the giving. At the heart of it, this episode is about the intersection of creativity, healing, and community, and how personal growth and collective growth are tangled up together in the best possible way.If you've ever felt a nudge you couldn't explain, or wondered whether something more is out there rooting for you, this one is for you. Settle in, and happy spooky season!Check out her website for all kinds of creative happies! I will def be shopping from her this Christmas season! https://www.nicolemarieleth.com/

Why does the woman who made "weaponized incompetence" a household term still catch herself doing it all when stress hits? Well, I got to talk to her, Laura Danger, author of No More Mediocre, for another expansive episode. We are once again unpacking the mental load, domestic equity, and why "just give me a list" never actually fixes anything. This convo really is two women who are hellbent on finding balance, and workshopping in real time their current edges, questions, and presenting the evolving awareness of the external BS and internal shiitake that keep them perpetuating exactly what drains them. From the nag paradox to the sinking feeling of living against your own values, we get real about how gender roles hide in our nervous systems, even in dual-income homes full of good intentions. Laura shares how a pandemic rock bottom pushed her and her husband to blow up their autopilot life and choose every piece on purpose, because the chore chart is a band-aid and sometimes we need surgery. Then we zoom out to the New Paradigm of care culture: hand-me-downs, mutual aid, hyperlocal mental health centers, and learning to receive help without shame. The takeaway? You can change your mind, you can ask for more, and you can be angry and hopeful at the same time. Because, most of us are, and that's okay. Press play, then go have the real conversation with someone you love. We're upwardly editing, one woman at a time!You can access Laura's book and work here: https://www.lauradanger.com/no-more-mediocre

In this conversation I sit down with renowned psychoanalyst Dr. Galit Atlas to talk about her latest book, "Come Closer; Childhood Wounds, Adult Love, and the Secrets of Emotional Intimacy" where she beautifully breaks down something I think about constantly: how our early wounds quietly run the show in our adult relationships — who we're drawn to, how we handle closeness, and what happens when we feel unseen.Galit walks through the six types she has uncovered in her decades of clinical work: the frightened, melancholic, ashamed, invisible, guilty, and chosen child, and we discuss the different ways a child learns to survive emotionally, and the different ways those same patterns show up decades later in our marriages, our friendships, our sense of self. We get into ambivalence and why wanting closeness and fearing it can live in the same body at the same time. We talk about sibling rivalry and how those dynamics never actually leave us (and might be showing up in our marriage!). We talk about the difference between guilt and shame, and how shame in particular gets tangled up with perfectionism and self-worth in ways most of us have never once stopped to examine.I was lucky enough to receive an early copy of her brilliant book, and I found myself locating pieces of my own story in nearly every single one of these inner children, and I have a feeling you will too. I love how Galit holds both the clinical depth and the deeply human tenderness of this work, and I think you will too."Come Closer" comes out on 9/29, and head over to my Instagram page to enter into a giveaway to receive a free copy! Galit is also having a really interesting live event with Miranda July of "All Fours Fame," on Sept. 27th that we reference in the episode, check out her IG page for details! @galit_atlas

This is one of those conversations I can't stop thinking about since having it, and while I was having it, I felt how impactful it will be for you all. Laura Shifter is a leading voice at the intersection of education and climate change. She has spent her already incredible career teaching at Harvard at the graduate level, working on policy change at the national level, and is leading some of the highest level organizations in our country to work towards sustainable solutions, including the Aspen Institute where she she leads This Is Planet Ed, an initiative that leverages the power of education as a force for climate solutions.And with all of that high level policy and research level work, as a mother of three, she is devoting her time to talk to parents. She not only describes how a massive emotional wave and a friend's gentle nudge shifted her career direction, but also she walks us through, like the steady parent WE NEED, how to (and why we should) talk to our kids about climate. To not only mitigate the potential mental health impact it could have on them now, but to prepare them for the future they are walking into, so they can live the healthiest lives possible and be part of the effort needed. The core of this episode and her message? The climate talk is like the sex talk. If we avoid it due to our own discomfort, then we're leaving them to deal with their fears, their feelings, and the whole thing alone. She provides a simple concrete way to explain it (that I definitely needed!), and a very gentle way to ease into the conversation, following their lead. Of course, this is a tender topic rife with fear and grief. By the end, we become quite philosophical, spiritual, and tender ourselves by how we reckon with and view this reality. Especially as many of you know, my family has experienced a climate-related massively destabilizing event Hurricane Helene in 2024. I am SO grateful for this conversation, and for other mamas who create a new career for themselves when they've done it the traditional way, and then followed the nudge in them to create something new, and deeply needed. You can benefit from her work more by accessing her writing on her website, https://www.lauraschifter.com/

In this conversation, therapist and podcaster Jodi White breaks down the truth behind this widely misunderstood pattern, revealing it has almost nothing to do with romance and everything to do with a child's unmet need for unconditional love.Jodi walks through Pia Melody's three core symptoms: seeking constant validation from another adult, placing that person on a pedestal while shrinking your own worth, and quietly neglecting yourself in the process. The conversation traces this pattern back to childhood attachment wounds and the cultural conditioning that teaches women especially to stay quiet, stay good, and stay small, and it names the deeper truth that the real question is never why the addiction, but why the pain.I have recently been delving into this concept, and it is blowing my mind. As I name in the episode, I feel like my relationship with men is the final frontier of my healing, and I'm just taking notes from the sidelines at the moment and learning more (and more and more!) about this very tricky dynamic, that (spoiler!) culture didn't help us with AT ALL. And so, we're going to talk about it, because healing happens in connection, not isolation. This conversation is an invitation into community, into safe spaces where women can finally tell the truth and be witnessed in it, because that shared witnessing is medicine. I love Jodi's gentle way of explaining these concepts to us, and I think you will too. Find Jodi White at jodywhiteonline.com, on Instagram @JodyWhite, and on Substack at Nobody Likes This, where she's building exactly that kind of space this fall.

New research on motherhood as leadership development says yes, and the findings will make you see caregiving completely differently.This conversation dives into groundbreaking dissertation research built on a thousand mothers' survey responses and ten in-depth interviews, uncovering that mothers already practice the leadership qualities workplaces prize most: logistics, emotional intelligence, advocacy, mentoring. But it goes further, naming a truth no leadership model has ever captured, that mothers also physically grow, nourish, and protect their teams, a level of labor no other leader on earth is asked to give. And it names the word "matrescence," the massive physiological, hormonal, and psychological shift of becoming a mother that almost none of us were ever taught.This is the reframe we've been waiting for. Mothers are not behind, they are the real providers, the original leadership lab, the past, present, and future of this whole society. De-shame the struggle, claim the power you already have, and bring another mother into this conversation, because the more of us who say it out loud, the faster it changes for everyone.

This conversation with fellow mama and Dr. Robin Dickenson, family physician who spent years doing trauma informed care for families breaking generational cycles, explains why (our) shame around puberty, reproduction, and sex education does the damage we don't want to do, and how to help ourselves out of it. This conversation moves through adverse childhood experiences and why trauma shows up in the body as a physical health risk, not just an emotional one (we can't hear this enough!). It unpacks the difference between limerence, the biochemical spark of new attraction, and real love, and why confusing the two sends people into relationships that were never built to last. HELLO. Why did literally no one ever tell us about this until now, and how incredible we can teach out kids this now. And of course, we land on the idea every kid needs to hear early and often: you are already whole, you were never missing a piece someone else has to complete.This is for all of us raising kids who want the fear taken out of these talks and replaced with honesty, timing, and age appropriate language that actually works. It's messy, it's real, and it's a reminder that you get to redo the moments you didn't handle well. I love how down to earth and deeply practical Robin is. She is a(nother) mama who mastered her field, and then said, "we could be doing this better." In addition to this incredible conov, if you want to go deeper you can access age-by-age guides and the many other resources to provide clinical truth to our kids in a protective, age appropriate, and shame-free way. Enjoy the episode!https://docrobinschool.com/puberty-and-sex-education-for-families/