The Relative Perspective - Episode 6 - In Law

Happy New Year - but not a new season. I’m back to finish season 3 of The Relative Perspective which means I’m still on my hunt for happiness.   This episode is about the concept of Hygge which is the feeling of contentment, togetherness, safety, and warmth.  A concept not about having stuff, but rather, having connections and experiencing a sense of peace and coziness. It sounds great doesn’t it. Especially this time of year - Hygge and hibernation are the order of the day.  But how do we achieve it?   To answer this question, I’m going to be sharing the best bits of Meik Weiking’s beautiful work, ‘The Little Book of hygge’.

This month's episode is an acknowledgement and celebration of me buying a house. I promise it's not that self indulgent! Rather, as I move in, decorate, and settle into living alone again, I wanted to explore the question 'what makes a house a home?' and also look at whether our homes impact our happiness. To that end, I read (and listened to) Meik Wiking's book 'My Hygge Home' and I want to share some of my favourite takeaways from his research and analysis. It's an amazing, beautiful and informative book and I feel like I have more hygge just by it being in the house.

July has been another busy month, but not just the usual daily grind, this month I bought a house.  I bought my first house.  It’s been very overwhelming and there is a lot to do and I’ve not always approached the difficulties with optimism or managed the stress with a smile.  In short, I haven’t really deployed the tips and tricks I’ve been sharing with you over the last 7 months in my own life - very pot calling kettle black. But that’s the thing about happiness; we can’t be happy all the time, and when we do, it is the result of consistency, of effort, of living with purpose and within our values. That’s where Gill Hasson’s book ‘Happiness How to get into the habit of being happy’ comes in.  Gill suggests ways we can make happiness a habit and an everyday part of life.   I loved this book and I really think you should read or listen to it.  In the meantime, I’ve done a very short summary for you in this episode and picked out my favourite parts/habits which I hope help you on your hunt for happiness in the short, medium and long term.

Welcome back to another episode of The Relative Perspective. The research I have done to date (in season 3) shows that relationships are the key to happiness; the quantity and quality of those relationships is critical to our wellbeing.   However, my relationships (with friends) are changing for various reasons as we all move through life.  I’m not in a romantic relationship and I don’t feel like I have a tribe.  To that end, I worry that happiness is out of my reach.  In other words, how can I be happy if I don’t have relationships? That’s where Paul Dolan’s book comes in; Happiness by Design.  Dolan sets out the school of thought that in order to be happy, we must do things that bring us pleasure and purpose and allocate our time and attention to those activities.   I also share Dr Arlene Unger’s book ‘Happy’ in this episode because compliment’s Dolan’s work in so many ways. I especially enjoyed her practical tips to train your mind towards a more joyful outlook on life. As such, I end this episode by sharing with you three of her fifty happiness habits to help you build happiness into your day and your life.

I'm back to talk about another book I've read about happiness. This month's episode is based on 'The Joy of Small Things' by Hannah Parkinson.  It's an easy read filled with all those little details that we encounter on a daily basis but rarely put into words. In a world where the news is bleak, our time is precious and our money is being stretched, it's reassuring to know that we don't have to go far or look hard for pockets of happiness all around us. It is important for us to remember that, even when it doesn't seem like it, there is happiness to be found in our lives right now. We should take the time to enjoy what we have and Hannah Parkinson offers 109 suggestions for just that.

This month’s (short and sweet) episode is based on the book titled ‘Happiness: Lessons from a new science’ by Richard Layard.  This book opened my eyes to the role of economics and philosophy in the pursuit of happiness.  It wasn’t the easiest of reads and I did a lot of extra research and reading on both the author and the concepts which he champions in his book.  In doing so, but I hope you feel like you get an understanding of what collective wellbeing is and why other people’s happiness is more important that your own and why, if we want to be happy, we should all be striving towards making as many people happy as possible.

I’m early with this month’s episode to the point that I think I’ve forgotten something.  The fact that the episode is less than 40 minutes in length is also worrying.   I say that because I’m just not sure 40 minutes does this book, or this topic justice. That aside, this month I read ‘How to be Sad’ by Helen Russell, well I listened to it (twice) on audiobook. This is a book about sadness, specifically the importance of being sad. Helen explores how staring into sadness allows us to address negative emotions and feel them in a more managed way so that we are not consumed by sadness, but comforted and motivated by it.  Helen writes that there are ways to be good-sad and by addressing sadness and finding a way through it, we are happier for it. To that end, this podcast is a summary of Helen’s book with some of my experiences and feelings thrown in for good measure (in and outside the context of covid).  The episode concludes with ways to be sad and tools which will help you through your sadness.   Whilst I am not an advocate of wallowing, I recognise that the lows in life give you perspective when it comes to the highs of happiness so I hope this episode encourages you to take steps to face your feelings and share your sadness in your own personal hunt for happiness. Please note, that despite the title, you can be sad in all other months and not just February. https://www.helenrussell.co.ukhttps://www.helenrussell.co.uk

Welcome back to The Relative Perspective and a belated Happy New Year! This episode is short and sweet and seeks to introduce this year's theme of 'HAPPINESS'. All the episodes this season will explore the science behind and the topic of happiness through a blend of book reviews, on location recordings, conversations and experiences (you name it, I'll try it). My aim and hope is to learn about what makes people (and me) happy so that I can make better choices about how I should invest my time and money (i.e. doing things that bring me joy). I'm going to share my findings with you and encourage you to make little changes that can have a huge impact on your happiness and in turn, your health.

This month’s episode is about burnout.  Whilst it’s not the cheeriest of topics for the festive season and as we head into the new year, it’s an important one as burnout becomes more and more common and can have detrimental effects on us and those around us. In this episode I talk about what burnout is, the signs and symptoms, burnout (and my own experience in the context of the pandemic) and offer some tips and tricks to help alleviate daily stressors and guard against burnout.   As ever, I hope you find this episode interesting and I hope that it increases your awareness of burnout both in yourself and in those around you. Please remember, if you’re struggling with burnout, please reach out as part of your recovery; speak to your doctor and don’t be afraid to explore your workplace EAP/wellbeing offerings.  Remember, you didn’t cause burnout, you’re not at fault, but the solution and the resolution is in your hands. So with that, thank you for listening to this episode and I wish you a very happy new year.

This month’s episode is a look at (and commentary on) dental services in the UK; think of it as a scale and polish rather than a root canal procedure. I had terrible trouble with my teeth during the pandemic. I couldn’t get the help I needed and so decay became worse, as did the pain. The result was injections, teeth extractions, hours in the chair for treatment including a root canal procedure, drillings, fillings, expensive X-rays and everything else that goes with it. I was advised to try DIY filling kits, was on very strong medication to deal with the pain and I felt like I was losing my smile - all because dental services were inaccessible at the time I needed them the most.  In short, the pandemic laid bare just how bad NHS dental services are (not the care or practitioners, but the access and cost) and the state of the nation's teeth.  Thankfully, I was treated through the NHS and by paying privately and, though it was a long and arduous process, I currently don't have any issues with my teeth. However, not everyone is so lucky. Millions of people are on waiting lists even just to see a dentist and so many individuals have resorted to draconian DIY dentistry such as pulling their own teeth with pliers to relieve their agony.  NHS dentists cannot take anymore patients onto their lists and it’s not economically viable for them to do so (or even keep treating patients on NHS rates). We simply cannot carry on like this. Dental health is indicative of the rest of our health as well as the affluence of an area, but it’s not just people on the fringes of society that struggle - think about service men and women who leave the armed forces. They go from having an army or naval dentist etc to treat them when needed to having no one. They end up at the bottom of a multiple year long waiting list, waiting for a gap (pun intended). This is just one episode full of my ramblings on the subject but I’ve done something research on this and want to point you in the direction of the pilot episode of Unreported Britain as well as the Northern Agenda. As ever, there are thousands of relevant podcasts on this topic and lost of things to read, so I hope this episode encourages you to look into this area in more detail, even retrain as a dentist or maybe just makes you feel a little bit more heard if you had the same issues as me.