The Neonarcissism Podcast

Part of integrating the narcissist is about recognizing, accepting and honouring yourself and the feeling that you had/have for them, it is an unburdening of the emotional weight you are carrying.  Let your experience be what it is and allow the relationship to be what it was.  

Grief is a recalibration and acceptance process, accepting the reality of what you have experienced. There are steps and tasks within the grief process that will cycle over and over again. it can feel not very encouraging but the cycling is momentum, a positive reflection of progress. 

When grief hits, it feels like everything is familiar but nothing is the same.  Experiencing a trauma bond with a narcissist can make the grief feel like it is all-consuming, it will feel like you want to shut down, shut in and shut out. Emotionally, grief is feeling everything all at once and it is a complicated process, it requires patience and grace.

Love is both the problem and the solution. The experience of grief and pain is Love enduring, you opened the door to Love and it is a powerful force that will endure anything. Love will persevere through the pain and carry you through to the other side, it will be painful, however, loving your love out for the narcissist will heal the wound they have caused.

“Would you rather be accepted for who you aren’t or be rejected for who you are?” Is it time to reprogram the internalized narcissist's voice? Their sensitivities, criticisms, perceptions? Is it time to re-learn how to relate with healthy individuals and the world again without the influence of the narcissist's perception?

Stay with us on this one, you may be surprised by what it means to forgive the narcissist.  In order to make any relationship with a narcissist work you are bearing the majority of the heavy lifting and taking on responsibilities that aren't yours, what happens when you let go of those burdens?

It is deeply honoring to build a relationship to your pain and it may be the first time in your life anyone has honored and validated your pain. You don't have to identify with the pain as if it means anything personally about you.   

Recovery after a narcissistic relationship can be a monumental task particularly if your life has been deeply integrated with the narcissist. It could be that every aspect of your life changes and it can feel emotionally, psychologically and physically overwhelming. 

For the narcissist, the achievement is in getting the coveted item or person not in the maintaining or keeping of it. The narcissist simply lacks the capacity to retain the value of the item or the person.

Gaslighting is a tool the narcissist will use to get you to question your own reality. If you feel like you are walking on eggshells or in a field of landmines when dealing with the narcissist, you are likely being gaslit.