The Monster Smash

Your monster mommies are back from their Covid vacation to answer all your most burning questions! Regular episodes will resume in 2 weeks!

On this episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire are joined by Emily and Lizzy of the Tongue in Cheek podcast to read and dissect Love, Laugh, Lich by Kate Prior. They talk Janice the unhinged liar, thin plot, virgin to DP, intentional non-effort, live laugh love, book character therapy, OSHA compliance, corporate life, don’t fuck your boss just because you’re bored, keep your clothes on, being more efficient with your rituals, temp assassins, low bars, shivers slut, what is a Lich?, tails, Christine’s history with multiple dicks, the mechanics of 3 dicks, loin clothes, porn, pent up horniness, spreadsheets and quills, destructive horniness, save the quills, true vulnerability, Mr, Tumnus, vibrator dicks, the male G-spot, female pleasure is the fantasy, sex toy trivia, nonchalant squirting, where does the third dick go?, finger dicks, alien abduction hopes, alien drugs, our brain changes, nobody wants to fuck a Randell, mystical butt plugs, do Lich lords have last names?, pooping and butt plugs, severance packages for dead employees, missed plot opportunities, porn dialogue, reliquaries, claw dynamics, cute vs sexy, Taylor Swift tangent, magical lube, asshole stretching, raccoons, horns, unhinged Janice’s origin story, tell us what the dicks look like, advances in sex toy technology, Claire get’s ruined by the internet, finance bros, only fans ideas, we do it for the plot, and more! Get your pencil skirts and smart slacks on wolf-babies, we’re going back to Evil Inc! . Where you can find us: . Christine is @goodreads_reviews on Instagram and Threads Claire is @clairesreviews on Instagram The show is @themonstersmashpod on Instagram and Threads or @smash_pod on Twitter Follow Lizzy and Emily @tongueincheekpodcast on instagram and TikTok . Email the show at [email protected] with your recommendations for books to feature or questions/comments about the episode . Subscribe and rate 5 stars to help the podcast get to more people!

Christine here with a quick podcast update!

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect How I Met Your Moth-er by Miranda Sapphire. They talk the mothman legend, more cryptids less confederacy, hallucinations, understanding the trans experience, telling your child about your sex life, fuck transphobia, lighthouse keeper is our ideal job, all lighthouses are haunted, do lighthouses have Wi-Fi, Caucasian urges, bison, moth light attraction, it’s all Mercury’s fault, we don’t need fated mates, sausage pockets, tiny arms, lady pockets, group chat lies and secrets, boioioing-ing, novelty t-shirts, helping a mothman, chittering and chirping, Christine logic, antennae, local wildlife, fever dreams, Rob purrs, inter-species beauty standards, proboscis??, straw tongue, hugging an insect, childhood therapy, Christine’s final evolutionary form, chosen family, moth dietary habits, Claire’s erection tracker, confusing sex scenes, trans people are so brave, fun chapter titles, finger nails, anal beads, duck penises, Claire’s getting gayer, discuss anatomy before you fuck, weeping, strap on’s, neon green dildos, pegging, the magic slit, Claire reevaluates our friendship, more claspers, smooth or wavy brains, the weird dick to weird cum ratio must be respected, they’re taking our men, nonchalant child rearing and more! Get your cryptid pants on wolf-babies, we’re talking Mothman this week! . Where you can find us: . Christine is @goodreads_reviews on Instagram and Threads Claire is @clairesreviews on Instagram The show is @themonstersmashpod on Instagram and Threads or @smash_pod on Twitter . Email the show at [email protected] with your recommendations for books to feature or questions/comments about the episode . Subscribe and rate 5 stars to help the podcast get to more people!

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Stranded in the Satyr’s Garden by Cia Petrichor. Along with special guests Rob and Josh, they talk big time guests, Christmas in August, we traumatized our partners, Narnia porn, Christmas parties, Pan’s Labyrinth, creepy creeps, Draco Malfoy, no Scottish accents, Community, Ratagast, UK politics, goatman orgies, magic gardens, bored jerking off, magical healing cum, jizz dosing, sperm face masks, sacred heat, the men don’t understand red flags, insta-love, does healing cum fix wrinkles, faun birthing, jellyfish stings, warm chai, lucrative jizz, drool vs cum, what is the core, painful masturbation, weeping, forbidden thoughts, HORNS, hard nips, goat socks, bragging about sperm, Mr. Tumnus, couple’s therapy, horn tugging, South Park quotes, fire ants, Florida, vibes, bear drawings, 10 Things I Hate About You, the best death, thanksgiving, logistical problems with magic gardens, medieval poison tasters, meta genre, grandma issues, mead logic, vulgarity, drug nails, the cervix is too far away, balls tingling, Grease references, British outrage, knee socks, breeding kink, grandmother kink?, bingo, and more! Get ready to have your childhoods ruined wolf-babies, you’ll never look at Mr. Tumnus the same again! . Where you can find us: . Christine is @goodreads_reviews on Instagram and Threads Claire is @clairesreviews on Instagram The show is @themonstersmashpod on Instagram and Threads or @smash_pod on Twitter . Email the show at [email protected] with your recommendations for books to feature or questions/comments about the episode . Subscribe and rate 5 stars to help the podcast get to more people!

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Have Tail, Will Travel by Nancey Cummings. They talk unhelpful covers, give us more smut, settling, go to therapy, taking your girlfriend and your wife to the same restaurant, arranged marriages, deep throating kebabs, experimenting with aliens, y’all are bisexual, dumb names, lice vs fleas, sturdy females, GO TO THERAPY, feline aliens, what does his face look like, chess is boring, that bitch Amity, confusing war trauma, making a good impression, accountants are soft, big teats, just fuck, claw caps, what is hair and what is skin, defending your wife, the gold diggers aren’t coming, humans are like cockroaches, toxic masculinity, chess isn’t sexy, just have sex, cat sex, basic emergency planning, globe breasts, penis jewelry, blunt dicks, mushroom sizes, condom metaphors, Claire’s PSA, painting wombs, ripping dicks off, dick throwing animals, unsexy bedroom food, cat tongues, Clarity, bloodlust, horrible plot resolutions, and more! Get your cricket bats ready, wolf-babies, we’re fighting aliens! . Where you can find us: . Christine is @goodreads_reviews on Instagram and Threads Claire is @clairesreviews on Instagram The show is @themonstersmashpod on Instagram and Threads or @smash_pod on Twitter . Email the show at [email protected] with your recommendations for books to feature or questions/comments about the episode . Subscribe and rate 5 stars to help the podcast get to more people!

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire interview author Zoraida Cordova, aka Zoey Castile! They talk Zoraida’s new book Kiss The Girl a Little Mermaid retelling, book tours, what is a monster, different kinds of merpeople, Peculiar Tastes, Disney, the mouse doesn’t want sex, Kylo Ren, secret book announcements, Hannah Montana, Disney sequels, pearl necklaces, mermaid anatomy, dick lore, Cthulhu’s dick, claspers, where’s the dick go, pearl-cum hazards, pearl farms, trad vs self publishing, social media, pen names, Magic Mike, Channing Tatum, Selma Hayak, NaNoWriMo, writing every day, Deadline City, We Need Diverse Books, translations, smash or pass, mothman BUNS, cartoon sexual awakenings, and more! Get your seashell bras out wolf-babies, we’re going under the sea! . Where you can find us: . Christine is @goodreads_reviews on Instagram and Threads Claire is @clairesreviews on Instagram The show is @themonstersmashpod on Instagram and Threads or @smash_pod on Twitter . Email the show at [email protected] with your recommendations for books to feature or questions/comments about the episode . You can find Zoraida on instagram @zoraidasolo or on her websites https://zoraidacordova.com and https://zoeycastile.com . Subscribe and rate 5 stars to help the podcast get to more people!

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Mantras and Minotaurs by Ashley Bennett. They talk hoof daddies, insta-love, psychic damage, age gap romances, helping the young men out, “no strings attached”, dating stories, don’t tell us what to do, sex and attachment, widow etiquette, yarn crafts, weed and the vampire diaries, stoned Claire is a raccoon, phone dates, get a divorce, keep the house, ice skating is not for adults, American healthcare, a mean sense of humor, making fun of children, smooth Alistair, who pays on a date, IPB, will Josh read ACOTAR?, terrible imitations, Javi!, exhibitionists, how do lips work, bull dick, orange balls, lactose intolerance, milky flavor, fuck you better help, fuzzy sheathes, red rockets, Minotaur virility, crab rabgoons, online dating, mothering boyfriends, full coverage underwear, toys, classic Ashley, grandparent’s names, rahoosh, mom nudes, griffon anatomy, Brazilian steakhouses, dick pics, fragile male egos, retirement, first class service, salacious players club, the Cullen house, monster drain clogging, flesh lights, jerking motions, sponsor us Adam & Eve, freezing your clit off, titty prints, weed stores, bad trips in McDonalds, and more! Get your snow gear on, wolf-babies, we’re going to the mountains! . Where you can find us: . Christine is @goodreads_reviews on Instagram and Threads Claire is @clairesreviews on Instagram The show is @themonstersmashpod on Instagram and Threads or @smash_pod on Twitter . Email the show at [email protected] with your recommendations for books to feature or questions/comments about the episode . Subscribe and rate 5 stars to help the podcast get to more people!

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect the second half of Barbarian Alien by Ruby Dixon, the second book in the Ice Planet Barbarians series. They talk name pronunciation, real cliff hangers, Ewoks, baby hostages, hunting is boring, pushing jizz back in, what foreplay is, titty squeezes, bridesmaids, foreplaying, lies we tell during sex, dick rankings, the perils of not resonating, the pied piper of pussy, jizz protection, pregnant for 3 years, janky babies, horrible laws, creative sabotage, crying for Rahoosh, AEHAKO!!, penis replicas, the purpose of the balls, how these characters are too annoying to live in a community, the best way to clear a room quick, when Harry met Sally, prostate tickling, the righteous gemstones, and more! Get ready for the conclusion, wolf-babies, we’re gunning for the next book! . Where you can find us: . Christine is @goodreads_reviews on Instagram and Threads Claire is @clairesreviews on Instagram The show is @themonstersmashpod on Instagram and Threads or @smash_pod on Twitter . Email the show at [email protected] with your recommendations for books to feature or questions/comments about the episode . Subscribe and rate 5 stars to help the podcast get to more people!

On this week’s episode of The Monster Smash, Christine and Claire read and dissect Barbarian Alien by Ruby Dixon, the second book in the Ice Planet Barbarians series. They talk being back in the saddle again, capital T trauma, daddy issues, parasites, waking up on alien planets, corporate ice breakers, does Ruby Dixon hate the French, forced parasite insertion, what families aren’t, baby batter, lonely aliens, you get a pickle, alien therapy, juices and nectar, dick measuring, too-big dicks, too-small dicks, nasty kinky, finger licking, devouring her like ketchup, miscommunication trope, yum yum for our tum tums, Star Wars references, camping skills, bows are superior, very mixed signals all around, worst person competition, third legs, bleach and oregano, and to be continued! Get ready wolf-babies, we’re back on Not-Hoth and we’re just as wild as ever! . Where you can find us: . Christine is @goodreads_reviews on Instagram and Threads Claire is @clairesreviews on Instagram The show is @themonstersmashpod on Instagram and Threads or @smash_pod on Twitter . Email the show at [email protected] with your recommendations for books to feature or questions/comments about the episode . Subscribe and rate 5 stars to help the podcast get to more people!