The Imperfect Person

“Healing is the relationship that we have with ourselves.”In today’s episode, we’re diving deeper into the myths and barriers to healing. If you’ve been listening or have been following me, you’ll know that I look up to healing with such high regard because it is very important. Some of these myths won’t surprise you, but here’s to hoping that you can redefine healing and learn more about what they are not and how to continue to live alongside our wounds.Show notes:[1:21] Broken to healed[8:10] What happens when we take away the pressure of having to get rid of pain and trauma[9:13] Knowing and integration[10:11] Replace negative thinking with positive thinking[11:53] Healing means we no longer engage in dysfunctional behaviors[13:16] Healed = happy[15:29] If we are repeating patterns, it means we are not healing[17:03] Be perfectly healed before we can live[18:33] In a nutshell… My website is up! Come check out all my webinars here: tory-eletto.mykajabi.comFind and follow me at: @nytherapistPlease help a new podcaster out by leaving a review and sharing this podcast with anyone you think can benefit from listening to The Imperfect Person podcast. Also, please subscribe so you’ll be notified when I drop a new episode.

Today’s episode is going to be a sensitive one and if you’re in a long-term relationship, whether or not you’re having issues with your sexual relations, this is going to be a great listen for you. Why does your sexual identity go away if you don’t feel your husband or long-term partner desiring you? Do not rely your self-worth solely on someone else, do the inner work, and do not wait for someone else to ignite your intimate, magnetic energy.Show notes:[1:22] Some basic info about me and my husband[3:39] What really bothered me when our sex life declined[6:04] Feeling shame[7:50] Something that Esther Perel said that stuck with me[10:10] Sharing an awkward and vulnerable topic[12:56] Developing a part in you, for you—the intimacy tank[15:57] The struggles of a long-term relationshipFind and follow me at: @nytherapistPlease help a new podcaster out by leaving a review and sharing this podcast with anyone you think can benefit from listening to The Imperfect Person podcast. Also, please subscribe so you’ll be notified when I drop a new episode.

Emotions are subjectively experienced and oftentimes accompanied by physiological and behavioral changes. It is part of being human, but they are not meant to make choices and decisions. For most of us, the process becomes confusing because we weren’t taught how to experience, feel, manage, and honor our emotions. Tune in as I share what it takes to live a life aligned with your values.Join the Next Level Live on March 26, 2022! Click HEREShow notes:[1:06] The beauty of being deeply connected to ourselves[1:32] Losing yourself in the experience[4:23] The difference between YOU and your emotions[5:41] What is healing?[6:30] How do you find your value and know if you’re in alignment?[8:10] How does Tory know when she’s out of alignment with her values?[9:30] When healing happens… these happen[11:25] A couple of questions to ask yourself when you’re not feeling great[14:58] So many can relate to the feeling “stuck”[15:52] See me and my friends from Next Level University on March 26, 2022, at the Next Level LiveFind and follow me at: https://www.instagram.com/nytherapist/Please help a new podcaster out by leaving a review and sharing this podcast with anyone you think can benefit from listening to The Imperfect Person podcast. Also, please subscribe so you’ll be notified when I drop a new episode.

“I know you can do it!” and “Great job!”These are the most common compliments we throw at people, and we almost always mean well. However, these words don’t always land because there’s no connection. The desire to truly feel seen is the biggest collective wound we all have, and it’s because it’s difficult to see. How do we make people feel seen and, more importantly, what it requires from us? Join me in today’s episode as we talk about this very important deep need. Show notes:[1:22] When compliments don’t land[3:36] How do we really “see” someone[5:15] The biggest challenge to “seeing” someone[7:20] What I do if I crave feeling seen[8:50] Important reminder[12:21] Here’s something to think about Find and follow me at: https://www.instagram.com/nytherapist/Please help a new podcaster out by leaving a review and sharing this podcast with anyone you think can benefit from listening to The Imperfect Person podcast. Also, please subscribe so you’ll be notified when I drop a new episode.

I’m certain that most of us have experienced moving through the ending or a loss, whether a relationship, a job, or a person. But how do we move through this with accountability and grace? Is that even possible? In this episode, I talk about the concept of letting go and the things that I’ve learned as I also went through a couple of these in my life. I also share how letting go is actually reconnecting back to ourselves and sometimes to a transformed version of us.Join my 45-minute webinar about Letting Go: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/letting-go-tickets-239408807187Show notes:[1:47] Is letting go a step-by-step process?[3:20] On grieving and transformation[6:00] The behaviors we engage in that stops us from feeling[7:48] On engaging your protective behaviors: is it shameful?[9:04] The power of a “pause” [10:50] Here’s what you need to do, if you are in this situationFind and follow me at: https://www.instagram.com/nytherapist/Please help a new podcaster out by leaving a review and sharing this podcast with anyone you think can benefit from listening to The Imperfect Person podcast. Also, please subscribe so you’ll be notified when I drop a new episode.

If you are finding yourself in the thick of something or in the middle of a mess, don’t fret. Please know that you are not alone and that this is part of a cycle. In this episode, I share with you how I navigate through this as well as share my pattern so you can hopefully discover yours. Join my 45-minute webinar about Letting Go: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/letting-go-tickets-239408807187Show notes:[1:12] What does it mean to be in the mess?[1:55] What my mess is[3:48] Self-connection or disconnection?[5:18] When self-connection is not a priority[8:00] What happens when you carve time out for yourself[11:08] What it looks like when you’ve moved through the cycle of a mess[14:33] Know that NO one is always on their A-gameFind and follow me at: https://www.instagram.com/nytherapist/Please help a new podcaster out by leaving a review and sharing this podcast with anyone you think can benefit from listening to The Imperfect Person podcast. Also, please subscribe so you’ll be notified when I drop a new episode.

Any relationship is a work in progress. It’s also a choice that both people involved have to make to stay together. That means each person is responsible for their own self-development and growth, including doing the hard work. In this episode, I am joined by my husband of almost six years, and we share our very own relationship and dynamic, our history, our challenges, and so much more. Join my on-demand webinar - Choosing you: From self abandonment to self connection - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/choosing-you-from-self-abandonment-to-self-connection-tickets-203863700817Show notes:[1:29] Our love story[3:21] The power struggle stage[6:07] When the fights became ugly[10:57] How my husband became willing to self-reflect[13:23] Patterns still occur but not as often as before[20:03] Choosing to be a better version of you for your kids[26:06] Final thoughts Find and follow me at: https://www.instagram.com/nytherapist/Please help a new podcaster out by leaving a review and sharing this podcast with anyone you think can benefit from listening to The Imperfect Person podcast. Also, please subscribe so you’ll be notified when I drop a new episode.

Is there such a thing as perfect parenting? Are there techniques, tips, and tricks to perfecting being parents? In this episode, I dive deeper into this topic and share why I’m talking about it—what made me talk about it. At the end of the day, our children don’t need us to be perfect or be perfectly healed. Such a misconception, that is. Join me as I share what our kids truly need and what kind of parents we should be for them.Join my webinar - Choosing you: From self abandonment to self connection - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/choosing-you-from-self-abandonment-to-self-connection-tickets-203863700817Show notes:[0:55] The healing generation[3:01] What our goals as parents should be[3:32] Intergenerational patterns[4:19] Remember that you are human[5:42] The calling for connection is a deep need[7:20] How can we meet our children’s needs to be “seen”[10:48] Do we have to be perfect parents to raise healthy kids?Find and follow me at: https://www.instagram.com/nytherapist/Please help a new podcaster out by leaving a review and sharing this podcast with anyone you think can benefit from listening to The Imperfect Person podcast. Also, please subscribe so you’ll be notified when I drop a new episode.

What does healing look like? Is it something we need to complete, or is it a practice that we must tread through patiently? In this episode, I dive deeper into the importance of giving healing space and allowing it to become a practice rather than a circle that we need to close. Part of healing is noticing the unhealed parts in our triggers and being responsible for your body and how you respond. This discussion is something worth having, especially during the holidays, so make sure you tune in and reach out if you want more help.Join my webinar - Choosing you: From self abandonment to self connection - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/choosing-you-from-self-abandonment-to-self-connection-tickets-203863700817Show notes:[0:00] Intro[0:54] What is healing, and what is our role in it?[2:45] Defining “showing up”[8:54] Repeating patterns and healing[10:05] Healing relationship examplesFind and follow me at: https://www.instagram.com/nytherapist/Please help a new podcaster out by leaving a review and sharing this podcast with anyone you think can benefit from listening to The Imperfect Person podcast. Also, please subscribe so you’ll be notified when I drop a new episode.

In this episode, I wanted to share a question that I often ask myself that grounds my healing. I will give you real-life examples of how and when I use this question and what realizations come to me to help me show up in the most important areas in my life. If you find yourself and your energy detached and misaligned from your values, take a step back—breathe—and then ask yourself: how do I want this to feel?Join my webinar - Choosing you: From self abandonment to self connection - https://www.eventbrite.com/e/choosing-you-from-self-abandonment-to-self-connection-tickets-203863700817Show notes:[1:55] Here’s a real-life example [4:35] The disconnect and how I was contributing to the energy[7:03] Feeling vs. just saying[8:14] How do I want my relationship to feel?[9:11] Here’s a situation with my childrenFind and follow me at: https://www.instagram.com/nytherapist/Please help a new podcaster out by leaving a review and sharing this podcast with anyone you think can benefit from listening to The Imperfect Person podcast. Also, please subscribe so you’ll be notified when I drop a new episode.