The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast podcast

Connective Parenting with Michelle Kenney

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“Parenting is hard, divorce or not. Parenting is a big ask.” When you mix parenting, divorce, changes in family structure, and a complete upheaval of everyday life - parenting becomes even harder. Michelle Kenney, a connective parenting coach, joins me to talk about how to parent your children before, during, and after divorce, with connection, peace, and empathy. 

Michelle is a divorced mom of two daughters, who are 12 and 15. She is a recovering yeller, control freak, and perfectionist turned connective parenting coach. She was so poignant and soothing during our time together. I can’t wait for you to listen. 

“I gave up the relationship I share with my ex-husband to focus on the relationship I share with my girls. The relationship I share with my girls is better because I got divorced.”  Michelle Kenney.

Show Highlights

  • Was parenting always a big ask or did parenting change over time (compared to past generations)? (5:33)
  • How to use connective parenting as opposed to punitive parenting, when your own life is destabilized by the divorce process. (7:39)
  • “It’s okay to make mistakes, it’s not perfect, and we can strive to do better.” And...as parents, we have an obligation to our children to apologize when we do get things wrong. (7:52)
  • Connective parenting: what it means and what it looks like. (10:20)
  • When your co-parent continues to punitively parent your child and you don’t. “You need one, good connected caretaker to be a functioning human being, to do well, and to be well-adjusted.” (12:15)
  • How to talk to your children about your different parenting styles without badmouthing your co-parent. (14:30)
  • The importance of empathizing with your child. Plus, why is it so hard to do? “We don’t understand what empathy is because no one did it for us.” (22:06)
  • Adjusting to co-parenting and being without your child while they are with their co-parent. (23:36)
  • Why punitive parenting is bad for children. (28:13)
  • Michelle shares her experience as a former yeller and insight about what parents can do when they do yell or lose their shit. (32:30)

Learn More About Michelle:

Michelle lives in Los Angeles with her two girls 12 and 15. Before becoming a Hand in Hand certified instructor in 2015, she worked for 12 years in public schools as a teacher and counselor. None of which prepared her to be a mom. After years of consequences, bribes, and star charts she found Hand in Hand parenting, created by Patty Wipfler. It reshaped the relationship she shares with her daughters, and she credits it with changing her life.

She is passionate about helping others find their way through the murky business of being a connected parent. She loves leading groups and finds the dynamic transformative. 

Michelle also strongly believes that listening partnerships are the cornerstone to moving through difficulties.

Michelle has helped herself and others make meaningful connections, work on sibling rivalry, and alleviate school problems.  Aggression, fears, withdrawal, and sleep issues are just some of the struggles she has shared and helped others rectify.

She holds a Master’s Degree in Education speaks fluent Spanish, has been trained as a Council in Schools Facilitator and is an ADL Trainer fighting against the bias of all types on school campuses.

Resources & Links:
For show notes and resources, also visit: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/connective-parenting-with-michelle-kenney/

The Divorce Survival Program is here.  Learn more or purchase, here!

Michelle's website

Michelle on Instagram

Michelle on Facebook

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    No More Trauma Bonding with Nadine Macaluso

    47:15

    This week’s podcast topic is trauma bonding and shame. My guest, Dr. Nadine Macaluso, has an incredible story to share. Nadine Macaluso is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. Her personal and clinical expertise is in attachment trauma, shame, and relationships. Dr. Nae is also the ex-wife to the infamous Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort, with whom she shares two children. So yeah, she knows a thing or two about love-bombing and trauma bonds. While openly sharing her story, she also gets underneath how trauma bonding happens to the best of us. Show Highlights The relationship between attachment trauma and shame. (4:11) We're not responsible for what was done to us as vulnerable children, yet as adults, it is our responsibility to do what we can to begin to heal. (7:23) A clear and concise definition of a trauma bond. (8:25) Nadine shares her experience with love-bombing and trauma bonds with her famed ex-husband “Wolf of Wall Street,” Jordan Belfort (9:44) The design of love bombing is to keep you completely off balance - it is a destabilization technique. (12:04) “My ex-husband took all of my beautiful qualities of loyalty, compassion, trustworthiness, belief in relationships, empathy, and used them against me.” (18:13) Trust your inner voice. Don't drive past the red flags. (27:14) Healing from attachment trauma, and practicing self-compassion. (29:45) “For some reason, I had children with this man.  I have to honor that. And take care of their souls first.” (34:24) Honoring your truth and also acknowledging that your ex can still be a good co-parent. (37:23)   Learn More About Dr. Nae: Nadine Macaluso is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. She received her master’s in Counseling Psychology and doctorate in Depth Psychology with an emphasis on Somatic Psychotherapy from Pacifica Graduate Institute in California. Her personal and clinical expertise is in attachment trauma, shame, and relationships. Dr. Nae is also the ex-wife to the infamous Wolf of Wall Street, Jordan Belfort, with whom she shares two beautiful children, Carter and Chandler. Nadine has been happily remarried for 20 years; she and her husband John share a blended family of five children and two dogs, splitting their time between New York and Florida. When she’s not working with patients or writing about trauma, Nadine spends her time reading, researching, listening to podcasts, going for walks and connecting with her loved ones. Resources & Links:Show notes and links can also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/no-more-trauma-bonding-with-nadine-macaluso No More Trauma Bonding: A Therapist's Guide to Healing from Traumatic Love Dr. Nae on Facebook Dr. Nae on Instagram Dr. Nae on Twitter Dr. Nae on YouTube Women Who Love Psychopaths: Inside the Relationships of inevitable Harm With Psychopaths, Sociopaths & Narcissists, Sandra L. Brown Donate to the Thrive Fund Should I Stay or Should I Go (Kate’s Program) TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY: SOBERLINK Proof. Protection. Peace of Mind. The Soberlink remote alcohol monitoring system consists of a portable breathalyzer with wireless technology for real-time results. With proven use as the leading choice in child custody cases since 2011, we are the only system that combines: Court-admissibility in all 50 states Facial recognition Tamper detection Easy-to-read Advanced Reporting™ Trust the Experts in Remote Alcohol Monitoring Technology™ to support the best interests of the child in your Family Law cases.

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