The Divorce Podcast is a podcast dedicated to looking at divorce from new perspectives and driving reform. Hosted by Kate Daly, each episode invites experts from a variety of backgrounds and disciplines to discuss their own views on divorce, and debate them with the other guests.
Episode #79: Victoria Benson, CEO of Gingerbread
34:57In this episode, Kate was joined by Victoria Benson, CEO of the Single Parents Charity, Gingerbread. With a background in law as a solicitor, Victoria joined Gingerbread in February 2019, having served previously on their Board. Before joining Gingerbread, Victoria was Director of Legal & Governance at Cancer Support charity MacMillan. Gingerbread has supported and championed single parents since 1918. Originally called the National Council for the Unmarried Mother and her Child, they’ve worked for over 100 years to make sure that single parents are not forgotten. They’ve changed laws, influenced government and challenged stigma and stereotypes. Their expert advice and information help tens of thousands of single parents every year. Through their policy work, they ensure that their members’ concerns and experiences are taken to the heart of Westminster and that their in-person and online communities can be found across England and Wales, providing support to thousands of single parents and their children.Kate and Victoria began this episode by looking at what constitutes a single parent and how Gingerbread take the view it is a ‘self-defined term’. Victoria told Kate about the work Gingerbread does to promote the interests of all single parents by lobbying government for social reforms around support and equal opportunities for single parents. They went on to talk about how they support single parents with free advice, from their helpline and how Gingerbread campaigns tirelessly to redress the stigma that exists within society. Their expert advice and information help tens of thousands of single parents every year, particularly around child maintenance, childcare and benefits. Victoria also talks about her own personal experience of being a single parent and how this has fed into her passion for promoting the political and social interests of single parents. How to contact Gingerbread: Gingerbread's helpline - 0808 802 0925Gingerbread websiteAdvice and support services
Episode #78: The legal rights of unmarried couples living together and the financial implications of ending a cohabitating relationship
32:48In this episode, Kate was joined by Angela Lally who is a qualified solicitor specialising in Family Law to discuss cohabitation when a relationship ends.With over 20 years’ of experience, Angela has focused her practice on the financial aspects arising out of relationship breakdown, for both married and cohabiting couples. Kate and Angela begin the episode by discussing the rights cohabitating couples have compared with those who are married or in civil partnerships. Many will be surprised to learn there is no such thing as a common-law husband or wife, and this myth can have some dangerous financial consequences. They look at ways to protect yourself from future conflict if your relationship breaks down after cohabiting and complications around property whether or you’re not named on the deeds. Perhaps the biggest contrast between how finances are dealt with for married and cohabiting relationships is to do with pensions and the inequality this can create for anyone sacrificing a career to care for children. They finish with their thoughts on cohabitation law reforms and in their absence, the advice to make sure you engage your partner in a conversation about your finances if you are cohabiting in England or Wales.
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Episode #77: How to adopt a growth mindset to navigate divorce
33:40In this episode, Kate was joined by Ed Bassett, well-being entrepreneur, Dad, and rugby fan to discuss his divorce and journey of self-growth. Having spent 20 years in the corporate energy sector, Ed returned to the UK from South East Asia and found himself separating from his wife, coping with a family bereavement, a failed start-up and navigating a new parenting relationship post-separation. In this episode, they explore the catalyst for Ed’s divorce and how a shift in his mindset helped him to heal and support others through their divorces. Ed describes sleepwalking through his life and the impact his self-destructive behaviour had on his family. Accepting responsibility for his actions and their consequences, as well as making peace with his upbringing, helped Ed rebuild post-separation. They also look at the importance wellbeing has played in Ed’s healing journey, and how this sparked his latest venture, Blue Mind a platform for men that encourages them to talk about their mental health. Trigger Warning: This episode covers content that some listeners might find distressing including poor mental health and suicide. Organisations who can help: Your local GP Mind - mental health charitySamaritans - dial 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258YoungMinds Crisis Messenger – for people under 19Is your life in danger? - dial 999Outside of the UK? Search for help here
Episode #76: Divorce financial planning during a cost of living crisis
36:10In this episode, Kate was joined by Louise Oliver, a Certified Financial Planner and Chartered Wealth Manager to discuss financial planning and divorce during a cost-of-living crisis. Louise has worked in the financial services sector for over 30 years. Throughout her career, she has regularly featured as a financial expert in the media, including across the BBC, Moneybox and local radio. They began this episode by discussing the value a financial planner can bring to discussions during divorce and separation. Louise explained the importance of being pragmatic, and willing to tweak your agreements as you move through the process. They looked at the impact of fluctuating asset valuations, especially during a cost-of-living crisis, and the importance of making sensible investments that reflect your attitude to risk. Louise made the point that different types of assets react differently to the varying market conditions and the importance of having a mix of different assets when you separate finances after divorce. They also explored options around the family home, maintenance payments and pensions.
Episode #75: Navigating ending relationships and blended families with comedian Julian Deane
24:05In this episode, Kate was joined by Julian Deane, a comedian and writer, to talk about navigating ending relationships and blended families. Julian is an award-winning British stand-up comedian and writer. Within a few years of starting stand-up, he was named Best New Comedian by the Comedy Café in London, and won the ITV Stand Up Hero and the Laughing Horse New Act of the Year competitions. Julian has appeared on The Russell Howard Hour and supported, Joe Lycett, John Bishop, Paul Chowdhry and Jason Manford on a world tour. He is also a writer, with his credits including TV shows Never Mind the Buzzcocks and Mock the Week. Julian also hosts the Two Vegan Idiots also known as TVI podcast, with fellow comedian Carl Donnelly, who has also featured on The Divorce Podcast.They began this episode by talking about Julian’s experience of parenting after separation when his two long-term relationships ended. Kate explores the difference each separation had on his life, as well as the impact of his career on those relationships. Julian gives his top tips on maintaining good working relationships with his exes, with his five children front and centre of decision-making. They also touch on the impact of his own parent's separation and the importance of being happy which puts you in a better position to parent your children.
Episode #74: Funding a life after divorce with LiveMore
32:39In this episode, Kate was joined by Tash Bloom from LiveMore and Audrey a LiveMore customer to talk about funding life after separation. LiveMore is a mortgage provider for people aged 50 and over. Audrey begins this episode by talking about her own divorce and how it left her in a difficult financial situation, something many will relate to. Kate explores common financial problems that arise after a separation and Tash talks about the ways that LiveMore has helped Audrey to fund her life after divorce. Audrey touches on inheritance planning and the role of pensions in her own divorce settlement. Tash explains the different types of mortgages on offer once you hit later life and alternative ways of securing funding to purchase properties. As Tash points out, there are lots of different specialists you can consult if you are looking for advice post-divorce and you are over 50. Audrey has been on a journey of self-re-discovery, after divorcing her husband due to an affair 10 years ago. She left her job in the City and became super-mum and super-grandma, helping her daughter during an incredibly challenging health crisis. Now settled in her new and (almost completely) renovated bungalow, she is focusing on the next stage of her life and is very much looking forward to the future and the adventures it will bring. Tash is EA to the CEO of LiveMore. She is also the company’s customer ambassador, building and maintaining relationships with customers. She regularly represents the CEO at meetings and events and is an extension of the brand wherever she goes. Committed to the company values, Tash is a dedicated LiveMore team member and gets no greater pleasure than witnessing the happiness of the customers they have been able to help.You can find more about LiveMore here, or book a call to speak to one of their mortgage advisors here.
Episode #73: How to manage strong emotions and inflammatory language as a co-parent
35:19In this episode, Kate was joined by Marcie Shaoul, Director of The Co-Parent Way, to discuss managing strong emotions and inflammatory language as well as her new co-parenting course. Marcie is the Director of The Co-Parent Way, the UK’s only Co-Parent Coaching Practice. She is a thought leader in co-parenting and is responsible for developing a unique coaching methodology that enables parents to get to a place where they can co-parent together effectively after separation. It provides coaching specifically for couples or individuals who are separating and who have kids. Marcie is also a member of Resolution and sits on their Parenting After Parting Committee.In this episode, Kate and Marcie explore Marice’s new course and how it can benefit co-parents. They then look at tools for helping to manage strong emotions if you're a separated parent. Marcie explains that fear is often the overriding emotion couples experience when facing the prospect of no longer living with their children full-time. They also discuss ways to tackle fear and other emotions like anger and the importance of self-care and putting on your own oxygen mask first to regulate your own emotions. Marcie explains how using inflammatory language is a conscious choice, and they talk about why a parent might make that choice when it inevitably leads to escalations and that whilst you can’t prevent your partner from using inflammatory language, you can change from reacting to responding by hitting the pause button before replying. If you’re interested in Marcie’s co-parenting course you can learn more and sign up here.
Episode #72: Budgeting tips and advice during a divorce or separation
44:02In this episode, Kate was joined by Mat Megens, founder and CEO of HyperJar, to discuss budgeting during divorce and separation. Mat started his career in Canada and the USA as an electrical engineer designing circuit boards for telecom companies big and small. He then made a career switch into finance which is what brought him to London. He worked in fixed income for both Lehman Brothers and Morgan Stanley, where the idea for HyperJar was inspired. He then worked for IFC, part of The World Bank, helping to setup up financing products in developing nations around the world before finally making the leap to entrepreneurship. Mat combined his engineering and finance careers along with his frustrations as a saving-oriented consumer to launch HyperJar. HyperJar is a free-to-the-consumer app that helps people plan and navigate their journey from depositing money to spending it. In this episode, Kate and Mat talk about the idea of budgeting during divorce and separation. They explore the freedom that’s gained from having a better grasp on your money and being able to save. Divorce is often seen as such a negative event in financial terms, but Mat’s tips turn that idea on its head and show how cathartic and life-changing taking control of your finances can be. Mat describes the idea of underspending, giving you a buffer for life’s unexpected hurdles, this is particularly useful in the wake of the cost of living crisis. He believes budgeting and saving is a mindset which can be learned and taught – an invaluable skill you can pass down to your children. Mat is divorced himself and describes his divorce as an opportunity to improve his and his ex-partner’s spending habits and lifestyle. Viewing budgeting through this lens is an empowering step you can take to give you more financial freedom and control if you are separating in these financially trying times. Mat ends the episode by sharing his top budgeting tips.
Episode #71: Divorce and separation with MP Siobhan Baillie
34:01In this episode, Kate was joined by Siobhan Baillie, Conservative MP for Stroud, to discuss family policy reform and its impact on people separating and divorcing. Siobhan Baillie is the MP for Stroud, having won the key swing seat from Labour in 2019. Born in West Sussex and educated in Yorkshire, Siobhan left school at 17 to work as a legal secretary, studying law in her spare time to qualify as a solicitor. Following on from a career in law, Siobhan stood as a local councillor in Camden and worked as Head of Policy and Communications for OnePlusOne before standing down in 2018 to dedicate her career to parliamentary politics. Since her election in 2019, Siobhan has been appointed to the Work and Pensions Select Committee and has served as Co-Chair of the All-party parliamentary group for Relationships. Siobhan has done key work in campaigning for greater environmental protection, and she remains a key campaigner for further education.They begin this episode by looking at Siobhan’s lived experience of divorce, that of her own parent's separation and how this has sparked her passion for policy reform, particularly around children proceedings and her work with the Positive Parenting Alliance. They explore the changes that the introduction of no-fault divorce has meant for separating couples and what needs to change in the future so that children are less impacted by their parent's separation.
Episode #70: How to keep the cost of divorce low
45:17In this episode, Kate was joined by Divorce Specialist, Anthony Syder to talk about keeping the cost of divorce low. Anthony is a divorce specialist at amicable and has worked in the area of divorce, mediation and family dispute resolution for the past 8 years. His areas of interest include the voice of the child and diverse and inclusive families. They begin this episode by looking at Anthony’s tips around keeping the legal costs down whilst you divorce including how much of the legal process you can do yourself and the options available to you when it comes to choosing professional help. Kate and Anthony look at some factors that impact the fairness of a financial settlement, particularly given the current cost of living crisis, and what fluctuating asset valuations, such as pensions, mean in terms of your financial agreements. Lastly, they look at practical things to consider as you make arrangements for your children, such as the rising cost of childcare and how child maintenance works. This is a great episode if you are looking for ways to keep the cost of divorce low during the current cost of living crisis.