The Big Self Show

Many of us dread having to convey our ideas to others, often feeling ill-equipped, anxious, and awkward.Public speaking experts help by focusing on planned communication experiences such as slide presentations, pitches, or formal talks. Yet, most of our professional and personal communication occurs in spontaneous situations that creep up on us and all too often leave us flustered and stumbling for words. How can we rise to the occasion when we’re put on the spot?In THINK FASTER, TALK SMARTER communication expert, Stanford lecturer, and host of the popular podcast, Think Fast, Talk Smart: The Podcast, Matt Abrahams provides tangible, actionable skills to help even the most anxious of speakers succeed when communicating and speaking spontaneously. Thinking faster and talking smarter Abrahams argues is not an innate skill that requires natural talent, and can actually be learned through preparation and practice. He provides science-based strategies for managing anxiety, responding to the mood of the room, and communicating in concise, relevant, compelling, and memorable ways regardless of the audience.Especially important in today’s frantic, multi-tasking world, Abrahams draws on research from a variety of fields including psychology, biology, anthropology, communication, and improvisation along with stories from his clients and students, to offer best practices for: navigating difficult conversations, responding to impromptu questioning, shining in job interviews, providing effective feedback, making small talk, apologizing, persuading others, and responding to spontaneous digital communication like text and email.Whether it’s speaking in front of others in meetings or conversations with family, friends, colleagues or a manager, learning to speak spontaneously can help us get out of our own way, and show up for some of the most meaningful moments in life—moments that often catch us by surprise, short circuiting our intelligence and leaving us to project just a fraction of our true personalities. Abrahams argues that by training ourselves to think and speak on our feet, and reacting in ways that come across as coherent, compelling, and unmistakably genuine, we can learn to be more of who we really are in the moment, and convey more of what we really think.THINK FASTER, TALK SMARTER is an accessible guide to communication that helps readers master new techniques to better communicate in our fast-paced times.Time Stamps:Communication, presence, and spontaneous speaking. 0:00The inner work and outer impact, myth-busting speaking skills.Spontaneous speaking and managing anxiety in public situations. 4:52Effective listening and spontaneous speaking techniques. 10:09A technique called pace, space, grace, which involves physically moving and giving oneself permission to listen to both what's being said and what's being felt within oneself.Improving spontaneous speaking skills. 15:40Communication structure and anxiety management. 19:28Embracing spontaneity in communication. <a href="https://otter.ai/u/yRe71dkVRXq_4LE-wuIIpytdvQE?tab=summary&amp;t=1491s" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

“He who conquers others is strong, but he who conquers himself is mighty.” –Lao SzuSo often impulsive behaviors keep us stuck or keep us feeling helpless. From little things to small, it can be hard to stop, especially when we start thinking about the thing. In fact, it’s almost like we spend our day waiting for the moment when we will just give in to the behavior.From overeating to drinking to email checking to phone checks to gambling to eating ice cream at night to flipping someone off on the highway to getting triggered on Facebook when someone has an experience that makes us jealous, we often feel like must get our fix before we can be “free.”&nbsp;The truth about freedom is not doing whatever you want in the exterior world, that leads to paradoxically the opposite. Actually, you’ll find that restraint from your developed inner world, leads you to the very freedom you desire.&nbsp;Remember:&nbsp;Start small.&nbsp;It’s not going to work every time.Consider it practice. How does practice work? It’s usually not great the first time. It takes consistency and it takes will, and over time it does get easier to do and it does become more effective as you practice it.Time Stamps:Impulsive behaviors and how to take back control. 0:03Chad and Shelley discuss impulsive behaviors as patterns of habitual control, leading to enslavement.Chad suggests paying attention to automatic habits and patterns without judgment before attempting the 1-2-3 practice.Self-mastery and addiction recovery. 8:44The importance of self-mastery in the second half of life, with a focus on identifying and overcoming limiting beliefs and behaviors.Chad and Shelley discuss the quote from Lao Tzu, "He who conquers others is strong. But he who conquers himself is mighty." (0:11:01)Practicing self-awareness and filling inner emptiness. 13:32Practice paying attention to inner experience to avoid compulsive behaviors and feel more whole.Chad guides listeners to imagine their resistances and reorient themselves to fill emotional voids.Chad guides listeners to visualize a blue flame for life energy and connection.Self-control and personal growth through practical exercises. 20:34Practice inquiring into resistances to heal yourself, rather than blaming external factors.Freedom, confidence, and leadership gained through self-restraint practice.Show Notes:Find out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Book a discovery call hereJoin us at the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/212692861697330" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

Reut Schwartz-Hebron was born in Jerusalem. She is a Certifying Partner at KCI (KeyChange Institute). She is a leading expert at the intersection of neuroscience and challenging change. Reut trains and certifies change leaders to use Neuroscience-based models to support people through transitions. Today we discuss her opinions about everything related to the personality and whether or not we really can change. Spoiler alert: We can change--and maybe for a lot longer than you ever imagined.But why? and how?Time Stamps: How we interact with discomfort associated with change. 9:49Most people aren't going to be moved to want to dig deep until something is failing or not working with their pre-frontal projected rehearsed self.Think of discomfort as a nourishment. 15:34The first mountain of life, the first mountain, the second mountain, and how to move forward on it.Why awareness is not a requirement for transformation. 20:22Awareness has a wonderful role in our lives and is supportive of transformative processes, but it is not a requirement from a neuroscience perspective.Being more aware is an explicit function. 27:00Awareness is an explicit system function, and without awareness, certain exercises will transform.Addiction is not black and white. There is a chemical aspect to addiction, which means that certain people after they have been addicted long enough or have used substances.How do you avoid discomfort? 34:44The idea of neuroplasticity.Personality is a construct of current preferences.How long does it take to change an organizational pattern? 44:22Kindness is not a naivete. It's a powerhouse.You can change simple as you can change. 48:39Kindness has nothing to do with being nice. Kindness is not just about being nice, but also about respect.You can change, even if you don't want to.Show Notes: Outswim the Sharks: How to Quadruple Your Team’s Productivity with KindnessThe Art and Science of Changing People Who Don’t Want to ChangeFind out more about Big Self SchoolWe offer our flagship burnout coaching package, as well as packages for leaders. We also offer opportunities for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram...

Today we speak with Dr. James Hollis, a speaker, professor, Jungian analyst, and bestselling author of 19 books examining life and how to cherish every moment. His world-renowned books, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life, The Eden Project, What Matters Most, and Living an Examined Life, have been translated into over twenty languages.&nbsp;We discuss his latest book, A Life of Meaning, which examines the qualities that bring meaning to our human journey. Our culture tells us to seek wealth, power, prestige, or even enrollment in someone else’s idea of a worthy cause—yet where do we turn when these paths fail to fulfill our need for purpose? “When the old stories and beliefs that once defined us have played out and grown exhausted,” teaches Dr. James Hollis, “our task is to access our inner compass, the promptings of the psyche that help us find our way through the complex thickets of choice.” Hollis offers an examination of myth, literature, historical figures, and the wisdom of depth psychology that provides penetrating insight into the search for purpose. In A Life of Meaning, Hollis offers no easy answers or feel-good certainties—instead, he shares his most valuable questions and reflections to help you find the courage, persistence, and inspiration to navigate your own odyssey. Time Stamps:Defining the concept of big self. 6:38It is important to define how the word self is used in any given paragraph or conversation.All of us are either serving or running from the instructions of our culture in the first half, with some exceptions, but mostly in the second half of life, about surrendering to something larger than our instructions or our complexes or personal history.The middle passage, the adolescent passage and the final passage, mortality.The middle passage trough of despair. 13:40What to do when your boss is a jerk? 17:28The importance of reflecting on the nature of his work and asking himself what is his task now. Finding your own personal guidance system. 23:25The process of discernment.One of the dilemmas is, if I choose this path, it could risk my relationship.Fear and lethargy are the enemies of life. Fear is the seduction of that part of me that wants an easy path. Jung says the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of the parent.Talk is cheap, change is difficult, and it always costs something.The collective unconscious and the wounded healer. 29:53Empathic caregivers bear the weight of a collective system of unreality, not tuning into human needs, and not tuning in to human needs.What is the wounded healer complex? 34:03Some people need to leave the profession to save their lives. Others need to take more breaks and recognize the symptoms of burnout.The wounded healer complex is a neutral word like an airport complex or...

Brian Bogert is a passionate performance coach, motivational speaker, business strategist, top sales professional and philanthropic leader who believes in helping growth-minded individuals achieve the best version of themselves: their most authentic selves.Brian teaches how to leverage radical authenticity and awareness to create the intentional life you’ve been dreaming of, but have struggled to create on your own. His revolutionary strategy—embrace pain to avoid suffering—has helped individuals, groups and entire companies break beyond their normal to achieve the success in life and business that they’ve always wanted.&nbsp;Time Stamps:What does being in your big self mean to you? 2:08The power of a singular choice and the ripple effect. 5:40This is a new time and we are living in different times. 11:16How I became aware of how disconnected I was. 15:24Realizing how disconnected he was at 20.Human connection without emotion is not human connection.Suffering is a will and a skill. 20:12Self-awareness is a will and a skill.Viktor frankl and the unique opportunity.Why vulnerability and authenticity are so important in healing? 23:13The importance of vulnerability and authenticity.Intellectual vs. emotional connection. 26:21There are 40,000 brain-like cells in the heart.Integrating the body and emotions with thoughts.The two ways to become the protector and connector.The soft front and strong spine.The importance of starting with yourself. 32:38Starting with yourself, regardless of the dynamics.Podcast Flipping the LidFind out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Book a discovery call hereJoin us at the Burnout to Big Self Facebook GroupOrder a copy of Chad’s <a...

Joe Sanok is a productivity researcher, business consultant, and creator of the popular The Practice of the Practice podcast. Let’s just say Joe gets a lot done, but he does manage to do this with his ideas of hard and soft boundaries and clearly delineating the lines between what is work and what is play. There is a lot to learn from Joe, his approach, and the initiatives he’s started through his book and from his programs.Joe shares with us that if we say we want to figure out how to focus more on what’s important when it’s time to focus, we need to prioritize when we’re working and when we’re going to boundary time for play. We learn how to apply these principles to customize them for your own situation to be more productive at work while enjoying more leisure time.Time Stamps:The story of the tortoise and the hare. 6:25Tortoise and hare story.Hare did it right, but they didn't have the right tools.Adopt a learner’s mindset. 9:47Experimentations on the book.How to avoid burnout by going rock climbing. 15:23Why is it important to take action? 18:02The three p’s of podcast launch. 22:24The full humanity of our life experience. 31:00Joe’s curiosity test. 38:32Show Notes:http://joesanok.com/manifestohttps://joesanok.com/experiments/https://joesanok.com/testAnd use the code TITNY for a free testCheck out his book: Thursday is the New FridayFind out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Book a discovery call hereJoin us at the Burnout to Big Self Facebook GroupOrder a copy of Chad’s <a...

Chad and Shelley explore the reasons behind why we overwork. They examine the beliefs behind overworking, and consider how and when we can begin to dismantle those beliefs and pursue second mountain work.Time Stamps:Why do I overwork? 0:02We all have a big self and pursuing it is fully, but most of us let fear persuade us not to pay attention to the episodes.We live in a meritocracy and competition. 2:00Workaholism overwork is a term that was coined in 1971 by a psychologist.Being led by our egos. 3:47A lot of us get to a point where we have been led by our egos, which is a necessary part of self-development.A client recently asked why she was a workaholic.Why we are workaholics. 5:02The ego believes that the ego needs to be workaholics in order to survive, and that overworking is 100% all the time.James hollis, accumulation and attachment are unconscious.The ego and the conflation of identity. 7:18The stakes were really high. 9:10The first mountain experience.Why do I want to keep doing this? 10:55If there is no friction or no breaking down, why would you want to keep doing this?The five regrets of the dying. 12:49The tipping point is wanting it, because if you don't, it's all moot.Work from the soul is more fulfilling than work from ego. 14:38Surrendering work from the soul is hard work, but it is more fulfilling than work that comes from the ego.Show Notes:Find out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Book a discovery call hereJoin us at the Burnout to Big Self Facebook GroupOrder a copy of Chad’s <a...

You may be familiar with him from his Super Soul Sunday radio series and his popular interview with Oprah from over ten years ago. Whether or not you've heard him--or of him--Reverend Ed Bacon has a second mountain message we could all use in our lives.The Reverend was ordained an Episcopal priest after serving as Mercer University’s Minister to Students and Dean of Students as a Southern Baptist minister. He was dean of the cathedral in Jackson, Ms. and rector of churches in Dalton, Georgia and Pasadena, California from which he “retired” in 2016. He says he flunked retirement in 2018 when he became interim rector at St. Luke’s, Atlanta where he had been ordained in 1983. He and his wife, Hope, moved to Hoover, Alabama in 2016 to be near their grandchildren. Now he travels, teaching how our Oneness in Love overcomes our fear-based separateness. He expresses this spiritual way of life in his book, 8 Habits of Love. His missions also include creation care including helping to save the Pando forest in southern Utah, interspirituality, healing grief and trauma, and dismantling systems of all forms of bigotry and oppression.Today, he shares with us is the inspiring and challenging depths we can get to on a regular basis if we’re able to get still with ourselves. The wisdom, the ability to let go of our egoic fears, and hold on to the things that we say we value, are all a part of the message and ideas he shares with us today.Time Stamps:What does living in your big self mean to you? 3:28The ego and its purpose.Making decisions based on ego strength. 9:09Stillness is a superpower. 14:52The ocean metaphor.Advice for the average person who hears this message. 19:50How to become more aware of distractions.How to make yourself still and quiet.How stillness opens up the learner's mindset. 22:50The difference between fear and love.The difference between the learner’s mind and the learners mind. 28:18Community and practicing the habit of community.Thomas Merton and community. 33:11One of history's greatest spiritual revelations, the "Louisville Epiphany."Community is the root of unity.The sweetness of the second mountain. 38:20Habits of love are interconnected.The sweetness of the second mountain.Stillness and the gift of stillness. 44:35Show Notes:His 2012 interview with OprahTwitter: @RevEdBaconFacebook:...

“Toxic” cultures aren’t all the same. They’re caused by different poinsons. So start there. Bad boss? Unrealistic expectations? Systemic overload?How you answer this will determine how you respond.&nbsp;How do we define “toxic”? An environment that’s incompatible with YOUR wellbeing.&nbsp;Wellbeing consists of physical, emotional, intellectual, relational and spiritual wellbeing.&nbsp;But if you aren’t at an institution with well-documented and widespread dysfunction, if you are at a relatively normal place with its typical interpersonal human drama, then ask the questions we offer up in this episode.Time Stamps:The definition of toxic culture. 1:19Shifting your beliefs and expectations. 4:29Awareness that a job is not what is good for you is an indication of movement in your life.A startup environment and leadership roles. 9:41What conversation am I avoiding that will go well? 10:52What is a projection? 12:03Start with yourself. 15:28The one takeaway is to start with yourself when it comes to dealing with your Show Notes:Find out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Book a discovery call hereJoin us at the Burnout to Big Self Facebook GroupOrder a copy of Chad’s book Shock Point or order an ebook here.Leave us a review and <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-big-self-podcast/id1485907203" rel="noopener noreferrer"...

Judy K. Herman inspires executive women to unlock the power of their authentic selves in order to live peaceful, purposeful, and positive lives without regret. She provides keynotes, seminars, and workshops for companies who support women in leadership while honoring authentic work relationships and cultures. Her clinical and personal experiences enhance her work as an executive coach providing skills and resources that change organizations and family trees.Time Stamps:How Judy became a psychotherapist. 6:08Being a psychotherapist, raising four children and having five grandchildren.Marrying a second time.How to begin to work on yourself. 12:23Relationships shift when one person grows.Relationships are mirrors to us and our souls.Growing in self-awareness and relationship awareness.The dynamics of family relationships. 16:54How to become more aware of your patterns? 21:40Becoming more aware of family patterns.The beginner's mind and the growth mindset.How to make sense when conversations go sideways.Self awareness takes the will and the skill. 26:48The experience of building a business. 31:42The enneagram and how it affects relationships. 36:08Show Notes:Author of Beyond Messy Relationships: Divine Invitations To Your Authentic SelfAnd Relationships with PurposeBetter Relationships, Better Life PodcastFind out more about Big Self SchoolWe still offer our flagship burnout coaching package. We also offer packages for those seeking clarity and reconnecting to their life purpose–and we do this work with individuals and couples. Reach out to us if you’d like to book a discovery call and learn more about our coaching packages.Want to learn more about the role stress plays in your life, and discover your blueprint for how to handle it based on your Enneagram type and subtype?&nbsp;Book a discovery call hereJoin us at the Burnout to Big Self Facebook GroupOrder a copy of Chad’s <a...