TesseTalks

Compassion means we walk side by side as we find our way home. It's often better and more compassionate to know when to build a bridge rather than a wall.  We are all walking somewhere.  In this episode, Tesse Akpeki and Paula Okonneh talk about embracing all parts of ourselves -  warts and all, including the beautiful attractive parts.   We don't deny and get defended about our shadow parts.   All of us have a shadow.   Integration makes us real, empathetic, loving and trusting.

Each individual has a purpose in life.   I ask what legacy I want to leave behind?    How can I empower others?  Joel White asks.   An answer to this is debunking the myths surrounding men's mental health.   Men are fix, fix, fix.  Women tend to be better at listening, being intuitive, connecting, transforming situations says Joel.   Women in crisis usually find themselves in an ambulance.  Men tend to find themselves at the back of a police car with handcuffs on. In reality we need to sort ourselves out first before we sort it out for others.  "We are not in control of anything.  We have the ability to be discerning, take control of our own behaviours, embrace responsibility and accountability for our choices, actions and reactions.  It is a daily practice and it is down to each of us as to how we navigate these", Joel advises.

"Men experience a lot of things women do. We just hide it better because of the influence of conditioning when we're younger.  That's a gift and a curse.   To shape a better world, the quest is  about men and women respecting each of our differences and working together.  When you've got two people who respect each other, you bring the best out of each other- men and women together.  Rewired for Men  helps men rewire limited beliefs and unlock their true potential. With deep expertise and a touch of humour, Joel White creates spaces where men can reclaim control.   They can rediscover purpose and best of all they can thrive.  "If anything, it's a very clear passion of mine to make a difference to people's lives - empowering men  to do that so they can then do the same for others. That's very much at the forefront of rewire for men and why I do what I do" says Joel White.  

Known as the workplace culture whisperer, Dr Jolene Church, a leadership expert and sought after keynote speaker, helps teams and organizations build cultures where people feel seen, heard, and valued.  With over two decades of experience transforming teams across government or Fortune 500 companies and global nonprofit, she excels at bringing a human centred approach to leadership, fuelling engagement, belonging, and real-world results.  Dr Jolene changed schools 33 times, Kindergarten through 12.   She had   to build a relationship and then move on. No surprise then that, some of her oldest relationships are from childhood days. "I looked at it in a different way.   I needed to make that connection because my survival, my ability to thrive in that moment was based on me connecting.  I'm so grateful that I did. This does not mean that I don't overthink things.  It means that self-awareness is so important in realising how many times I am stopping myself from stepping into my best self. "  "I don't want to be muted. There's much power in the pause, in our present moment.   Between every problem and solution is a space. Change will happen in the future.   If I choose now to change something, I can't change the past, but I can change the present moment."  

In conversation with Laura Gates   In building resilience leaders and organizations, recognise the parts of the business that are not doing well.   Some parts of the system are operating ways simply out of habit or normalised patterns that aren't helpful to the business anymore. To sharpen the strategic perspective, effective leaders need to make sure they can carve out space and time to think and reflect. It's amazing the ideas, innovative, creative thoughts that come through when leaders are able to step back and get an expanded perspective. Resilience grows through connection and trust, strengthening as we collectively support each other in eco-systems that are psychologically safe. "It's not that people don't know in many cases what they want to do. It's that they're afraid of admitting it. They're afraid it's not possible. They're afraid, they're not qualified.  Worse still, they don't feel safe being vulnerable or authentic.   My encouragement is to follow that path. Follow what gives you energy that will take you where you need to go more than anything else." shares Laura Gates

"I'm not going to say it was any prettier than it was, but it was an honour to take care of him. He was a great husband".  In "My life Caring for Frank", Carol Weisman shares as she talks about her life caring for her beloved husband Frank.    She put a pause on her consultancy and speaking. She's now returning to international work, grateful for the time she spent with Frank and looking forward to connecting with the world once again.  

Carol Weisman founded Board Builders, an international consultant firm focused on fundraising, philanthropy, and governance in 1994. She is the author of 11 books and is writing her 12th.  In 2020, her husband Frank Robbins was diagnosed with Lewy body dementia, Parkinson's disease, and spinal stenosis. Carol had to take a pause on her consultancy and speaking business to care for him.   Frank, sadly passed away in January of 2025. Carol is now returning to international work, grateful for the time she spent with Frank.  In Life After Loss, she speaks candidly about connecting with the world once again and how life is looking since losing Frank. "I started grieving the day that he was diagnosed. Because there was no medication. I knew there was no hope.  This was such a downward spiral, Frank died a little bit every day."  Carol's endearing recollection brings her realistic vibe to a very painful experience.   As a listener, you are guaranteed a smile as well as a tear. "Following a loss, the biggest problem is loneliness especially if you were connected to a lot of people because of your spouse or your work."  says Carol.  Carol has started internet dating, describing dating at 76 as really "bizarre".  She ends encouragingly. "You recover at that point, it's a process. It's not an event. You don't all of a sudden wake up, go to a, some kind of meeting and you're okay.  Every death is different, every journey of healing, recovery, and repair is different.   You have got to find the pathway that works for you."

Stephen Light shines light on Team Resiliency. "What makes a high-performing, resilient team is when people know that they feel safe on that team." He says "The teams who stick together, the teams who understand that we have each other's backs. They feel safe around each other. They trust each other. They are aligned on a common vision, a common effort that they are working towards. They talk with each other, recognising where each other are, they are human to human with each other. And what that does is help people's resiliency come out, because, when you are alone in the job that you do and you are operating in a silo in the team that you operate in, you don't have meaning, you don't have fulfilment, and life is hard. When a team isn't skilled on how to navigate differences they have between each other, what tends to happen is polarisation".

The Intersection, Faith, Work, and Life is an introduction to God's Design for Integrated Living. The Cities Project Global. awakens equip and unleash leaders into the city. Through Leadership Circles, the reach becomes impactful.  The Leadership Circle is a nine-topic worldview journey into faith, vocation, and culture. And it's, a guided journey that facilitates the growth of leaders through these nine topics.  Along the way these leaders get a clearer picture of where to focus their attention. Dr Robert C Varney and Hugh W Brandt introduce the design for integrated living in a very accessible and practical way.  For instance, Bob and Hugh find that the word' integration' is much more helpful than 'balance'.

Storytelling: Leadership that build healthy communities is such a timely theme to talk about.    "If we want the best out of our people, we have to treat our people well. You can't rely on them being resilient if you're trying your best to kill them with structure.  We are maturing to be more focused on the contributor, not the contribution. The biggest piece of resilience is believing that you can rebound, you can overcome, you can come back, you can heal. To believe that you can't, proves you can't, and makes it so you won't. You've got to believe that you can overcome.  Being broken will be the anomaly rather than the norm.  You've got to be well before you can help others be well." says David Taylor Klaus.