Episode 193: Being Ourselves in the World with Julie and Willow

Show Notes Julie and Willow discuss the challenges of planning and traveling, the importance of trust and presence, and their love for animals and nature. In this conversation, Julie and Willow discuss the joy of observing sea creatures and the importance of deep connections. They share personal stories of friendship and the freedom of being authentic. They also emphasize the significance of embracing one's unique identity, especially during Pride Month. The conversation concludes with an invitation for listeners to join the Sensitive Empowerment Community and to ask personal questions for future episodes. Julie’s Resources & Links Mentioned in Episode Feel safe to be yourself in the world. LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC safe. Join Julie’s private, nurturing community: Sensitive Empowerment Community New Children’s Book for the Sensitive and Neurodivergent: The Adventures of Niko the Highly Sensitive Dog. Visit SensitiveNiko.com My favorite fidget tool is listed on my product page here: https://www.juliebjelland.com/sensory-friendly Autism Assessments for Women in California with Julie One-on-one Coaching and Consultations with Julie Explore Julie’s Courses for the Sensitive and Neurodivergent: HSPcourses.com Explore all our episodes at HSPpodcast.com Find everything at SensitiveConnection.com Willow’s Resources & Links Mentioned in Episode Learn more about Willow's Identity Program: https://inluminance.com/the-identity-journey/ Check out Willow’s free community and join an open facilitation session: https://www.high-sensory-coaching-community.com/ Interested in training to become an HSP coach? Visit: https://inluminance.com/the-coaching-program/ Find out more at https://inluminance.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/support

The conversation between Julie Bjelland and Willow McIntosh covers self-acceptance, neurodiversity, sensory experiences, and the impact of personal discovery on mental and physical health. The discussion also delves into the importance of connection, shared experiences, and the significance of rest and self-care for highly sensitive individuals. The conversation covers sleep, neurodiversity in the workplace, children's books, identity, and the importance of creating a safe space for the sensitive and neurodivergent to explore their gifts and abilities. It also delves into the challenges neurodivergent individuals face and the need for acceptance and understanding in society. The conversation emphasizes embracing neurodiversity and creating a supportive environment for sensitive and neurodivergent individuals. Show Notes The conversation between Julie Bjelland and Willow McIntosh covers self-acceptance, neurodiversity, sensory experiences, and the impact of personal discovery on mental and physical health. The discussion also delves into the importance of connection, shared experiences, and the significance of rest and self-care for highly sensitive individuals. The conversation covers sleep, neurodiversity in the workplace, children's books, identity, and the importance of creating a safe space for the sensitive and neurodivergent to explore their gifts and abilities. It also delves into the challenges neurodivergent individuals face and the need for acceptance and understanding in society. The conversation emphasizes embracing neurodiversity and creating a supportive environment for sensitive and neurodivergent individuals. Julie’s Resources & Links Mentioned in Episode Join Julie’s private, nurturing community: Sensitive Empowerment Community Guide: Embracing Neurodiversity in the Workplace: https://www.juliebjelland.com/embracing-neurodiversity-in-the-workplace-a-guide-for-companies-and-individuals New Children’s Book for the Sensitive and Neurodivergent: Adventures of Niko the Highly Sensitive Dog SensitiveNiko.com Autism Assessments for Women in California with Julie One-on-one Coaching and Consultations with Julie Explore Julie’s Courses for the Sensitive and Neurodivergent Explore all our episodes at HSPpodcast.com Find everything at SensitiveConnection.com Willow’s Resources & Links Mentioned in Episode Learn more about Willow's Identity Program: https://inluminance.com/the-identity-journey/ Check out Willow’s free community and join an open facilitation session: https://www.high-sensory-coaching-community.com/ Interested in training to become an HSP coach? Visit: https://inluminance.com/the-coaching-program/ Find out more at https://inluminance.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/support

In this episode, Krista discusses the topic of grieving the loss of a parent. She covers the messiness of grief, the factors that influence grief experiences, and the four tasks of mourning: accepting the loss, processing grief, adjusting to a new reality, and finding a lasting connection. She also shares the six needs of a grieving person, including having pain witnessed, expressing feelings, releasing guilt, addressing old wounds, integrating pain and love, and finding meaning in time. Krista emphasizes the importance of healthy boundaries and self-care during the grieving process. In this conversation, Krista discusses the different stages of grief and provides guidance on navigating the grieving process after the death of a parent. She emphasizes the importance of self-care, asking for help, and simplifying one's life during this time. Krista also highlights the challenges of acute grief, including practical tasks and the need for internal and external resources. She addresses the concept of secondary losses and the emotional intensity of grief. Additionally, she explores themes such as conflict, delayed grief, and the fluctuating nature of grief over time. Krista concludes by discussing the significance of creating safe containers for grief and finding meaning in the grieving process. Guest: Krista O'Reilly-Davi-Digui is a highly sensitive human, life partner of 30 years, and proud and affirming mom of 3, including her highly sensitive son, who died by suicide in 2019. She’s also a writer and Joyful Living Educator and lives on Treaty 6 Territory in central Alberta, Canada.  Through story, grief and trauma-informed education, and brave community, Krista’s words and work empower midlife women to befriend their True Selves and (re)claim freedom, health, and joy. https://www.alifeinprogress.ca/ Host I’m Julie Bjelland, LMFT, a Licensed Psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment, specializing in high sensitivity and adult-diagnosed autism in women. I love developing tools that balance our sensitive nervous system, reduce challenges, and help us reach our fullest potential so we may excel in our unique talents. I’ve created a global hub of extensive support, including online courses, the Sensitive Empowerment Community—a nurturing sanctuary—a globally top-ranked podcast, articles, free webinars, and more. My passion is helping create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com Leave comments and explore more episodes at www.HSPpodcast.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/support

Episode Summary: In this episode of the HSP and Neurodivergent podcast, psychotherapist Julie Bjelland delves deep into the hidden world of autistic women, aiming to illuminate the unique challenges and strengths that have not been well understood until now. A significant focus is placed on the reality that many autistic women remain undiagnosed, often due to the subtle and internalized nature of their experiences. Julie shares profound insights from her personal journey and professional assessments, emphasizing how these experiences can profoundly impact personal identity and societal interaction. The discussion explores the concept of the "supercomputer brain" that many autistic women possess, which allows them to rapidly process enormous amounts of information and maintain an intense focus on subjects of interest. This capability, however, is often accompanied by a challenging mismatch between their intellectual ambitions and physical energy levels, a disparity that can lead to significant frustration and burnout. The discussion also addresses the necessity for adaptive environments that cater to the unique needs of autistic women—spaces where they can control sensory inputs and manage their energy more effectively. Julie discusses the societal pressures that lead to masking, where autistic women feel compelled to hide their true selves to fit into societal norms, which can diminish their sense of self-worth and lead to isolation. Throughout the episode, Julie advocates for a greater understanding and acceptance of the differences that autistic women face. She invites listeners to join her Autistic Women's Group, providing a platform for connection and mutual support, and shares resources and courses designed to help manage energy and prevent burnout. This enlightening discussion seeks to educate and empower listeners by validating the experiences of autistic women, encouraging them to embrace their unique attributes without shame. By exploring the hidden world of autistic women, Julie Bjelland helps to foster a community where autistic women can thrive by being their authentic selves. Key Points Discussed: Supercomputer Brain: Autistic women often possess a high intelligence that allows them to process vast amounts of information quickly and have an intense focus on a wide range of topics. Energy and Ambition Misalignment: A recurring theme among autistic women is the mismatch between physical energy levels and mental ambitions, leading to frustration and burnout. Feeling Flawed and Different: Many autistic women feel flawed from childhood due to societal expectations, leading to feelings of isolation and the need to mask their true selves. Emotional and Sensory Regulation Challenges: Autistic women often face significant challenges with emotional expression and sensory overload, which can result in misunderstandings in personal relationships. Communication and Social Preferences: Clear, direct, and honest communication is preferred, and many autistic women value deep connections with a few people over larger social groups. Importance of Alone Time: Alone time is crucial for autistic women to recharge and manage their sensitivities, emphasizing the need for self-care without guilt. Invitation to Join the Autistic Women's Group: Julie invites listeners to join her Autistic Women's Group for support and to share experiences, with links provided in the show notes. Resources Mentioned: Autistic Women's Group (Free group inside the private Sensitive Empowerment Community). Join Here The HSP & Neurodivergent Toolbox Course Sensitive Empowerment Community Website Links: Autistic Resources: Quiz, Research, Assessment, Consultations Julie’s Website Podcast Episode Feedback --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/support

In this episode, I discuss the differences that set autism apart from high sensitivity, particularly in women. I highlight the outdated diagnostic criteria for autism and the misdiagnosis or lack of diagnosis in many women. We'll explore the unique characteristics of autistic women, such as the challenges of masking, the need for solitude, and the intense sensitivity across multiple senses. I also emphasize the importance of self-compassion and acceptance for autistic individuals and the need for a neurodiverse society. Resources Mentioned Assessments and Consultations with me: https://www.juliebjelland.com/consultations-with-julie Stay updated! Join my free newsletter https://www.juliebjelland.com/newsletter Product Recommendations: https://www.juliebjelland.com/sensory-friendly Sensitive Empowerment Community SensitiveCommunity.com (Join my Autistic Women's Group within the community too!) Autism Resources (including free Autism Quiz, Assessment and Consultation Info, Research, Surveys, and Education) AutisticHSP.com Recommended Resources: HSPcourses.com Brain Training Course to reduce anxiety, overwhelming emotions, and the fight/flight/freeze over-activation HSP & Neurodiverse Toolbox Course, I share how I balance my nervous system. Blooming Brilliantly Course: Learn self-love and self-compassion. Your Self-Discovery Journey: Spend time with me and others learning who we are and what we need at this stage of life Grow a Heart-Centered Business as an HSP or Autistic Individual. We do things differently! Key Points: Many individuals who identify as highly sensitive may actually be autistic, prompting updates to sensitivity quizzes. Autistic women face hidden challenges. Many of us have feelings of being different and flawed. Autistic women require solitude to reduce overstimulation and restore energy. We tend to experience heightened sensitivity across multiple senses, which can be intense. We prefer communicating honestly and directly, valuing clarity. Accepting an autism diagnosis can lead to reframing experiences and self-compassion. Social gatherings, sudden changes, and small talk can be challenging. Repetitive movements serve as a way to soothe and focus, with fidget tools aiding in this. Written communication may be preferred and eye contact can feel intense and overwhelming. Managing emotions, especially when fatigued, is challenging. We experience high empathy. Building a neurodiverse society that celebrates differences is vital for our well-being. Themes: Unveiling the Hidden Challenges Faced by Autistic Women Navigating Intense Sensory Sensitivity in Autism Understanding Autism in Highly Sensitive Women Unique Special Interests Among Autistic Individuals Overcoming Challenges Stemming From a World Not Setup for Us. Sound Bites Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Change in Podcast Title 01:21 Understanding Autism in Highly Sensitive Women 08:06 The Importance of Solitude and Alone Time 15:00 Navigating the Intense Sensory Sensitivity of Autism 25:27 Reframing Experiences and Finding Self-Compassion 28:23 Challenges in Social Gatherings and Small Talk 33:22 Creating a Neurodiverse Society that Celebrates Differences --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/support

Eli is known for her vibrant use of colour with multiple mediums including acrylic, gouache, ink, pastel, colour pencil, and collage, and as a highly sensitive artist with autism, Eli's work often reflects in-depth emotional themes.  Her work has been featured in public exhibitions and private collections all around the world and she has also mastered the art of showcasing her studio, drawing, painting and creating on video. Eli is on a mission to help artists make money from their art or craft, grow a collector base, grow a business without sacrificing studio time and feel really good about selling their work. The interview features How Eli came to start a business for her art? How being neurodivergent influences her business and creativity? Ways to look after your nervous system when creating and running the business. Tips and hints for sounding more 'natural' and confident when making video. Creating a studio and work environment that is efficient and an inspiration to work in. Exploring the integral nature of business and marketing. Learn more about Eli Trier (website) Take a tour of Eli's studio (You Tube video) Keep In Touch — ELINOR TRIER (elinortrierstudio.com) Elinor Trier Studio | Helping artists & creatives to think like entrepreneurs | Patreon Andrea Weber is the Business Group and Events Co-ordinator for the Sensitive Empowerment Community and founder of Expansive Happiness®. Andrea provides encouragement and practical strategies for environmental sensitivity management through her self-paced program, articles and posts, helping people navigate the day to day challenges of emf, chemical and mold sensitivity.  A love of writing and editing has led to the provision of these additional services for highly sensitive people. Learn more and join our Heart-Centered Business Group --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/support

In this episode, I take you on a deeply personal journey through some of the most challenging phases of my life. I open up about the experience of facing an empty nest, the physical and emotional upheaval brought on by menopause, and the profound insights I gained from understanding how autism impacts me and others who are sensitive. These challenges led me through some dark times, prompting a pivotal moment of self-reflection and a strong commitment to prioritizing my health. This wasn't just about my physical well-being but about embarking on a path of self-discovery and acceptance. By embracing changes and committing to learning more about my internal world, I discovered the nuances of autism and how it resonates with the experiences of sensitive individuals like myself. This episode is more than a story of personal struggle; it's a testament to the power of resilience, the importance of health, and the journey toward understanding myself on a deeper level. Resources Mentioned in Episode The HSP Podcast: HSPpodcast.com Updated Sensitivity Quiz: SensitivityQuiz.com Autism Quiz, Education, Assessments & Consultations: AutisticHSP.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/support

In this insightful presentation, Val discusses how highly sensitive people are making self-employment a viable option. Val addresses the 3 main concerns for people considering self-employment: Money  Marketing Energy Practical strategies are given to break things down into manageable steps, including letting go of all the ‘outside noise’, tuning in to what feels good, and creating that heart-to-heart connection. How we use energy as highly sensitive people is paramount to our well-being and sense of purpose and alignment. Val discusses her own experiences and the importance of visibility, collaboration, and referral. A lot can be learned from the Q&A included in the presentation.Val Nelson is a career and business coach for introverts and highly sensitive people (HSPs) who want meaningful work without the overwhelm. She enjoys helping people clarify their career or self-employment decisions. As an introvert and HSP herself, she used to think self-employment was not for her, yet now enjoys a thriving business and has learned to navigate the myths around what is possible. She believes strongly that living your true purpose is a practical possibility. She helps people through coaching, her small groups, her courses, and her blog. Learn more at ValNelson.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/support

Being an HSP is a blessing, but it can also be exhausting, so a decluttering approach centered around energy management, self-compassion, and gratitude is exactly what we need, and we can create space and opportunities for growth by clearing physical and emotional clutter.   Learn how decluttering as a family can cultivate mindfulness and confidence in kids and be a tool to deepen relationships and create more harmony at home. Meet our Guest Speaker Rebecca Jo Rushdy guides fellow HSPs & Empaths to declutter their hearts, minds, and homes into sanctuaries that spark joy and flow. She was the first platinum KonMari Consultant in Malaysia and in Edinburgh, where she is currently based with her husband and two daughters. You can learn more about Rebecca and her work by visiting www.sparkjoyandflow.com ----- Let Rebecca know how you liked this episode! Visit HSPpodcast.com Join our next live event in the Sensitive Empowerment Community and find an extensive collection of supportive resources for the sensitive and neurodiverse at www.JulieBjelland.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/support

An important area for the well-being of HSPs is self-acceptance. Yet what does this really mean and how do we know when we have a good bearing on it? Self acceptance is one of the greatest foundations of feeling joyful. Conversely, self rejection can be sneaky in how it operates, and a very painful place to operate from, especially as a deep feeling HSP. Join us as we look at what self-acceptance means and how the ‘loving witness’ can become our greatest ally. Join the next live podcast at SensitiveCommunity.com Julie Bjelland, LMFT, is an HSP psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, the author of The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person, and founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community. Her HSP Podcast ranks among the top 5% of the most shared and followed podcasts worldwide. Julie’s webinars. resources, online courses, and blog have helped millions of HSPs reduce the challenges of living with sensitivity in an overstimulating world. Her greatest joy is helping sensitive people discover their significant value and seeing them share their much-needed gifts with the world. Julie loves connecting in her community and warmly invites you to join this positive, inclusive, sensitive family. Explore her resources and learn how her brain training program reduces anxiety within the first two weeks at JulieBjelland.com❤️🌈❤️ (she/her) Willow McIntosh is the founder of Inluminance and creator of the High Sensory Coaching Program. Unique circumstances during Willow’s childhood led to the burying of his authentic self and complete misalignment to the work he was destined for. He began to carve his own path into understanding how people with sensory processing sensitivity can learn to use their genetic traits to their advantage. As an adult this led to a lifelong enquiry and practise into learning powerful energetic alignment techniques to re-engage with the authentic self. Willow believes that all people with the trait have the ability to tap into a unique skill that draws on a deeper sensory perception. Having successfully facilitated the development of seven figure businesses Willow’s practise has taken him all over the world. Speaking internationally, training in a broad range of fields and facilitating others for more than twenty years. http://highsensoryintelligence.com/ The HSP Podcast is rated in the top 5% most followed and shared globally! Thank you for sharing to help other HSPs! Check out more episodes at HSPpodcast.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/message Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/julie-bjelland/support