Episode #660: Emotional intelligence, psychological safety and becoming a better leader - with Claire Boulby
In this episode of ScaleUp Radio, Kevin Brent is joined by Claire Boulby, founder of Intelligence Works, to explore something that can easily be dismissed as a "soft skill", but which has very real consequences for leadership, teams and business performance: emotional intelligence. Claire's route into this work is personal. After experiencing severe burnout during her career in the oil and gas sector, she began to recognise the cost of ignoring emotional signals and the importance of developing the skills to understand and manage our responses. One of the most encouraging messages from our conversation is that emotional intelligence, or EQ, is not something you either have or you don't. It can be developed. For business owners and leaders, that matters. As businesses grow, leadership increasingly becomes less about having the answers yourself and more about creating an environment in which other people can contribute, challenge, make decisions and perform at their best. And that starts with self-awareness. The standout message One point from Claire particularly stood out: If the most important conversation happens between people after the meeting rather than during it, you may have a psychological safety problem. It is a simple but powerful test. A team that feels psychologically safe does not necessarily agree with one another. In fact, Claire makes an important distinction between a meeting being "nice" and it being "safe". A safe team can disagree. People can question an idea, challenge the leader, admit that they do not understand something or raise a concern without worrying about embarrassment or repercussions. That constructive disagreement can be vital to innovation and better decision making. If people nod through the meeting and only say what they really think afterwards, the business is potentially losing some of its most valuable information. What is emotional intelligence? Claire describes EQ as our ability to understand and manage our own emotions while also recognising and responding effectively to the emotions of other people. The foundations include: • Self-awareness, recognising what is happening within ourselves • Self-regulation, managing our response rather than simply reacting • Communication, expressing ourselves effectively • Empathy, understanding what may be happening for somebody else Crucially, these are skills that can be practised and improved. That makes EQ particularly relevant for founders and SME leaders. As the business becomes more complex, technical expertise alone is rarely enough. How we react under pressure, listen to challenge, communicate difficult decisions and create trust increasingly affects the performance of the wider organisation. High IQ does not automatically make a great leader Claire talks about leaders who may be extremely capable technically but have never developed the corresponding emotional intelligence. One consequence can be a gap between what leaders say they want and how they actually behave. A leader might tell the team that they welcome challenge and want people to contribute ideas. But if their response when somebody challenges them is defensive, dismissive or angry, the team quickly learns a different lesson. People pay attention to behaviour, not just words. Over time, that disconnect can damage trust and discourage people from speaking openly. Psychological safety does not mean everybody being nice This is an important distinction from the conversation. Psychological safety is not about avoiding difficult conversations. It is about making those conversations possible. When people feel safe enough to disagree constructively, ask questions, admit mistakes and put forward ideas, businesses have access to far more of the knowledge and experience already sitting within their teams. That becomes increasingly important as a company scales and leadership needs to become more distributed. The founder cannot be involved in every decision forever. A practical tool: Stop, Breathe, Notice, Reflect, Respond Claire shares a useful framework for those moments when something triggers an immediate emotional reaction. SBNRR: Stop, Breathe, Notice, Reflect, Respond. Stop: interrupt the automatic reaction. Breathe: deliberately slow things down. Claire discusses how techniques such as extending the exhale can help calm the body. Notice: pay attention to what is happening physically. Perhaps your heart is racing, your chest feels tight or your body has become tense. Reflect: ask yourself what is causing the response. What exactly has triggered you, and why? Respond: choose what you actually want to do next rather than allowing the initial reaction to make the decision for you. It sounds simple, but the important point is practice. Claire suggests that even one or two minutes of regular practice can help build the capability so that it is available when we really need it. EQ in an AI-driven workplace We also explore why emotional intelligence could become more important rather than less important as technology and AI develop. As AI increasingly handles technical and repeatable tasks, human capabilities such as empathy, judgement, communication and critical thinking become increasingly valuable. At the same time, leaders are managing increasingly diverse and multi-generational workforces. Claire has seen younger generations respond positively to practical tools that help them manage attention and emotions in a technology-saturated environment, while some older audiences can initially be more sceptical about "soft skills". For those audiences, the science and practical evidence behind EQ can be particularly useful. From burnout to Intelligence Works Claire's own experience of burnout helped shape the work she does today through Intelligence Works. Her ambition is to continue working with technical audiences, where her own background gives her particular insight, while also taking these skills to younger people through schools. There is an interesting idea behind that ambition: what difference could it make if people learnt these skills before reaching a leadership role, rather than discovering them only after something has gone wrong? The one key thing The one key thing to take away from this conversation is that better leadership starts with managing yourself. You cannot create genuine psychological safety simply by telling people to speak up. Your team watches what happens when somebody actually does. Developing the ability to pause, understand your own reaction and respond deliberately can change the quality of the conversation and, ultimately, the quality of the decisions your business makes. Before you go Most founders I speak to feel busy but frustrated. There is plenty happening, but they are frustrated that they are not moving forward at the rate they want to. Often, success has created more options, pulling the founder and their team in different directions. Here is what more than 500 interviews on ScaleUp Radio have taught me: the founders who scale choose less, and deliver all of it. That is what the G90 Summit is for. It is a structured half-day where we cut through everything competing for your attention, agree the three to five things that must happen in the next 90 days, and build the rhythm to make sure they do. From the frustration and chaos of more, through the discipline of less, to the rhythm of done. Quarterly. Virtual. £97 a seat. Find out more at Smart90.co.uk/summit. Make sure you do not miss future episodes by subscribing to ScaleUp Radio wherever you listen to your podcasts. And if you know a business owner with an interesting ScaleUp story, you can nominate them as a future guest on ScaleUp Radio. Claire can be found here: https://www.linkedin.com/in/claire-boulby-ei/ [email protected] Resources: Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman - https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/emotional-intelligence-25th-anniversary-edition-daniel-goleman/856a054183641985?ean=9781526633620 10% Happier by Dan Harris - https://uk.bookshop.org/p/books/10-happier-10th-anniversary-how-i-tamed-the-voice-in-my-head-reduced-stress-without-losing-my-edge-and-found-self-help-that-actually-works-a-true/3b6658f76255898f?ean=9781444799057