Real Questions with Clare

Pain that arrives overnight. Hospital staff who doubt you. Church spaces that sometimes turn prayer into pressure. If you have sickle cell disease, love someone who does, or want to understand why this matters for the Black British community, this conversation is one for you.This week, I'm joined by my brother, Jonathan Williams, who has lived with sickle cell anaemia his whole life. He describes sickle cell as “uncompromising” and explains what a crisis feels like in plain, human terms: pain in joints, back, and everywhere blood flows. We also talk about the mental impact that gets ignored once you leave hospital, and how stereotypes can shape the way patients are treated, including the painful assumption that someone asking for relief must be drug seeking.From there we go deeper into faith and suffering. We unpack what Christians often get wrong about chronic illness: the expectation of instant healing, the subtle blame placed on the person still suffering, and the way some churches can make illness into a spectacle. We come back to Jesus’ question to Bartimaeus, “What do you want me to do for you?”, as a model for whole-person care, better prayer, and real community. Jonathan also shares practical wisdom on resilience, advocating for yourself in medical settings, and what dating and marriage can look like when sickle cell is part of the story.If you found this meaningful, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find it. What would you want your church, your GP, or your hospital team to understand about sickle cell pain?Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk Follow for more Black faith-based content:Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsukMusic: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

If you’ve ever felt like church wanted your emotions but not your mind, this conversation puts words to that tension without turning it into church-bashing. This week, I sat down with Leondre Douglas, a church minister, educator, diocesan secondary faith adviser, and young adults leader, to talk about education versus anti-intellectualism and what it means to build a genuinely thinking faith.We unpack why some Christian cultures can unintentionally elevate “what feels spiritual” over careful reasoning, biblical interpretation, and historical grounding. Leondre shares his experience of studying philosophy and religious studies, the fear that university will “kill your faith”, and why tested faith can become trusted faith. We also tackle a hot topic with nuance: speaking in tongues, church history, and how making one gift the sign of being “filled” can create hierarchy, pressure, and confusion.From there, we get practical. We talk church culture, Bible study habits, valuing teachers, and how preaching style shapes discipleship. You’ll hear why expository preaching can help congregations read scripture in context, why thematic preaching can become limiting when it dominates, and why a healthy church makes space for hard questions and the whole counsel of God’s word. We end with a vision for a church that loves God with heart, soul, mind, and strength, keeping God as the main character rather than turning faith into self-centred motivation.If you want more conversations like this, subscribe, share the episode with a friend, and leave a review. What’s one question you wish your church had made room for?Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk Follow for more Black faith-based content:Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsukMusic: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

A lot of people assume leaving church means leaving religion completely. But this might not be the full story, especially in Black British communities. People can often step back from church life, keep hold of scripture, and go looking for a spiritual home that takes history, identity, and power seriously.This week, I sat down with Dr Eleasah Phoenix Louis, an independent academic consultant and confessional Christian, to unpack her book *Black British And Dechurched: A Church Message To The Mainstream*. Eleasah explains what “dechurched” looks like on the ground, why some people remain on the fringes, and why others move towards scripture-centred alternatives such as Rastafari, the Nation of Islam, Black Hebrew Israelites, and the Holy Coptic Church. We also explore the roots of these movements, including Ethiopianism, and why familiarity with the Bible can make the transition feel less like a jump and more like a transfer.We do not dodge the hard stuff: the cultural weight of white Jesus imagery, the legacy of slavery and colonialism, and the real damage done when churches refuse frank conversations about race, history, and belonging. We talk discipleship, the overlooked role of teachers in the local church, and how the internet has become a substitute teacher for anyone with questions.If you care about Black British Christianity, racial justice theology in the UK, dechurching, apologetics, and what faithful belonging could look like now, press play. Subscribe, share this with a friend who has big questions, and leave us a review telling us what your church needs to talk about next.Follow Dr Eleasah's work here: https://lostintheologies.com/ Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk Follow for more Black faith-based content:Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsukMusic: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

Dating disappointment can make you cynical fast. One minute you are hopeful, the next you are recovering from another let-down and wondering whether it is even worth trying again. This week I get honest about that cycle and talk about how to stay optimistic in dating without pretending, settling, or letting anyone mishandle your heart.I consider into adult attachment styles and why understanding anxious, avoidant, secure, and disorganised patterns can change your whole approach to Christian dating. I share how anxious attachment can show up as bracing for abandonment, replaying conversations, and assuming the worst, plus what it looks like to grow when someone communicates clearly. The goal is not a label. The goal is self-awareness that reduces repeated disappointment and helps you build healthier connection.I also name spiritual bypassing, those faith-sounding phrases that can hide pain or dodge responsibility. If you have ever said “I’m content, I’m not looking” when you are actually scared to hope again, this will land. We talk about believing the best about yourself, refusing to write everyone off, and learning to trust God’s character without turning faith into a rigid timeline.We close with practical ways to regroup: taking a real break (without disappearing), challenging your “type” if it is actually a pattern, and choosing a “summer of saying yes” to life, community, and new spaces like Christian festivals and events. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs hope, and leave a review wherever you listen. What part of dating has tested your optimism most?Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk Follow for more Black faith-based content:Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsukMusic: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

Church hurt can make faith feel dangerous, not because God has changed, but because trust was broken where it should have been protected. We sit with that reality and ask the blunt question many people are already living: hurt and harm, why go to church in 2026?I’m joined by pastor, theologian, and Bible teacher Jeronne Rudder from Uhambo The Journey, and we start by naming what church hurt actually is: betrayal on a spiritual journey that is deeply precious. From there we dig into deconstruction, not as a buzzword or a brand, but as a real wrestling with core beliefs that can lead to a richer, more biblically grounded Christian faith. We also challenge the way deconstruction can get commercialised online, and why replacing one unaccountable leader with another never brings healing.Then we get practical. We talk about whether church attendance is necessary, why embodied community matters, and when stepping back is wise after tragedy, grief, or betrayal. Jeronne shares guidance on leaving toxic environments quickly, using online church as a short-term support, and finding a healthier local church without slipping into a consumer mindset. One idea that really lands is “pastoring by consent” a trust-building approach to leadership and safeguarding that helps people recover after spiritual harm.We close with hard truths and hope: churches can “catfish” with a polished image, conflict is part of real covenant community, and repair requires emotional intelligence, clear apologies, and owning impact not just intention. If you’re navigating church trauma, faith doubts, or a new start, this one is for you. Subscribe, share with someone who’s been hurt, and leave a review so more people can find these conversations.Check out Jeronne's work at https://www.uhambo.co/  Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk Follow for more Black faith-based content:Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsukMusic: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

This week, Stephen is my very special guest, and we share our experience of online dating. A dating app match can turn into months of messaging, and you still might not know the person at all. We get honest about what actually helped us move from Hinge chat to a relationship that felt calm, intentional, and safe, especially after years of being single in Christian spaces and carrying the weight of other people’s opinions about timelines, age, and “settling down”. Stephen shares what online dating felt like over time, including the burnout of stop-start connections and the risk of building a phone-based bond that falls apart the moment you meet face to face. We talk about why we chose to meet quickly, what made our first date unusually easy, and the intentional questions that helped us learn who the other person really is. We also unpack a key lesson for Christian dating: transparency is not the same as full vulnerability, and oversharing too early can blur wisdom and boundaries. We don’t dodge the tricky bits either. Faith mattered, church attendance mattered, and we explain why we nearly didn’t have a second date, how we reconnected, and what “respect for values” looks like in practice without pressure or performance. We finish with simple, practical advice for Christian men and women: be intentional, be consistent, don’t waste someone’s time, and pay attention to whether you feel safe with the person in front of you. If this helps, subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the podcast.Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk Follow for more Black faith-based content:Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsukMusic: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

In this episode, I get honest about the weight of singleness, especially in church spaces where people mean well but still leave you unseen. I talk about grief, the silence many Christians carry, and why hope isn’t pretending it doesn’t hurt. Then I shift into what has genuinely helped me: friendship that becomes chosen family, the kind of open‑door welcome where you don’t need an appointment and you know you belong.I share a story about “fridge‑rights” hospitality and why it matters for the Black British church—and for any church that wants to feel like a family, not a club. I also name the harder stuff: being treated like a threat as a single woman, the quiet suspicion, and the questions leaders and married couples rarely ask. What would change if we prayed for single people who want to be married, noticed those who aren’t on stage, and built trust instead of distance?From there, I get practical. I talk about agency in modern dating—ghosting, zombieing, situationships, online dating, and the way colourism shapes some dating experiences. I share three questions that helped me move from powerless to purposeful, along with resources on dating wisdom and communication that protect your dignity. If you want Christian singleness support that’s honest, thoughtful, and actionable, press play—then subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find the conversation.Resources MentionedHow to Get a Date Worth Keeping — Dr Henry CloudTorahCents Podcast — dating, relationships, and communicationDo the Work Podcast — Sabrina Zohar on attachment, clarity, and healthy datingBlack Women and White Men: Interracial Relationships by Cheryl Y. Judice — research and cultural analysisSupport my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk Follow for more Black faith-based content:Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsukMusic: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

Singleness can be a blessing, but when you want marriage and it keeps not happening, it can start to feel like your faith is doing extra emotional labour just to stay steady. On this episode, I name that reality without judging anyone who feels content single, and speak directly to those who love God, serve faithfully, and still go home carrying a quiet ache that church language often fails to recognise.I examine familiar bits of Christian dating advice that are usually meant kindly, yet can land painfully over time: “maybe you’re not ready yet”, “God will bring someone when you stop looking”, and “enjoy this season and serve God”. I ask what these phrases imply about spiritual maturity, why they can create a transactional view of God, and how they can subtly shame a legitimate desire for marriage. What should we do about all of this? Rather than rushing to solutions, we practise lament. Job 2 shows what it looks like to sit in the dust with someone before offering words, and Psalm 13 gives language for the honest prayer of “How long, O Lord?” I bring that into the chaos of modern dating as a Christian, from breadcrumbing and love bombing to ghosting, zombieing and situationships, and we end where Psalm 13 ends: looking up, choosing trust, and remembering God’s steadfast love even when the timeline hurts.If you know someone navigating Christian singleness, share this with them, and if it helped you, please subscribe, leave a review, and tell me what you wish church understood about singleness.Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk Follow for more Black faith-based content:Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsukMusic: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

 I’m back after a long pause, sharing what’s changed—including getting married—and how shifting seasons shape faith. This leads into a bigger point: people’s hardest questions about Christianity aren’t always intellectual but deeply existential. We explore both kinds, from science and Scripture to meaning, identity, and suffering, with examples like AI and The Truman Show. I also unpack how protracted singleness, especially for Black Christian women, can quietly erode faith within couple‑centred church cultures. Support my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk Follow for more Black faith-based content:Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsukMusic: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness  

Can survival-driven evolution truly lead us to understand objective moral truths, or do our deepest convictions about right and wrong point to something greater? This episode of Real Questions with Clare promises to stretch your thinking as we explore the profound implications of the moral argument for God's existence.If you'd like to support Clare's work, you're welcome to buy her a coffee! https://buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk Resources:Robust Ethics: The Metaphysics and Epistemology of Godless Normative Realism by Erik WielenbergIs God a Moral Monster? by Paul CopanMere Christianity by CS LewisSupport my work here: buymeacoffee.com/realquestionsuk Follow for more Black faith-based content:Website: https://realquestions.co.uk/IG: https://www.instagram.com/realquestionsukMusic: https://linktr.ee/kronikfitness