Lessons in Resilience

Three years ago, I went on a trip to the Gladstone Library with my friend Nadia. She was working on her latest book, and I was planning to work on a new resilience course.But by the time I got there, a different plan was forming in my head.Nearly 10 years after I’d started working on resilience in my school, I wondered if there might be a book in me too.By the end of our stay, I had 10,000 words in a Word document – pulled together from nearly a decade of assemblies, workshops, webinars, Facebook Lives and podcasts.And there those words stayed for the next two years.Because I didn’t know what to do next.Fast forward through a 30-day writing challenge, a first draft, a manuscript I finally dared to share, a publishing contract and months of writing and editing – and this week, Resilient(ish) is published.In this special final episode of Series 4, I’m sharing the story behind the book and an extract from the Introduction  that summarises my approach to resilience, and how it can help you. Resilient(ish): a realistic guide to building self-belief,confidence and clarity in busy lives is out now in paperback and ebook. Buy your copy here: https://amzn.eu/d/03uQR2VQAnd if you want to find out more about Areta Press, head this way: https://www.aretapress.co.uk/books/resilient-ish/I’ll be over here grinning and celebrating the fact that those 10,000 words finally made it out of that Word document.  *******Want more tips for building resilience?  Sign up for my weekly newsletter Notes for the Resilient(ish): https://pamcottman.substack.com  Join my FREE Facebook Group – Resilient(ish) Women: https://m.facebook.com/groups/ResilientWomenUK Connect with me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pamcottman/ and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamcottman/  Head to my website: https://pamcottman.com  Or drop me an email: [email protected]

Monday morning is reset time at Cottman HQ. A cuppa, a look at the week ahead and a to-do list to get everything in some semblance of a row.But a while ago, I noticed something about my list that made me stop and think.So, in this deliberately short episode, I’m asking you to think about one thing:Where are you on your own to-do list?And, perhaps more importantly…What are you going to put on it for you this week?Want more tips for building resilience?  Sign up for my weekly newsletter Notes for the Resilient(ish): https://pamcottman.substack.com Join my FREE Facebook Group – Resilient(ish) Women: https://m.facebook.com/groups/ResilientWomenUK Connect with me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pamcottman/ Or LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamcottman/  Head to my website: https://pamcottman.com  Or drop me an email: [email protected]

What if belonging doesn’t require you to become someone else?“Any belonging that asks us to betray ourselves is not true belonging.”I first read those words from Brené Brown a few years ago, and the concept of belonging has stuck with me ever since.So many of us have experienced that yearning to be part of a group, to feel accepted, cool, not ‘other’ – and so many of us have squished some part of who we really are in order to fit in.But betraying ourselves takes its toll.In this episode, I’m sharing 5 messages about belonging that I took away from a Barefoot Coaching Conference a couple of years ago – messages that are still with me today.Because whether it’s in our families, friendships, teams, workplaces or communities, feeling that you belong here can make all the difference.And perhaps, more importantly, belonging starts with knowing that you are enough, just as you are.Want more tips for building resilience? Sign up for my weekly newsletter Notes for the Resilient(ish): https://pamcottman.substack.com Join my FREE Facebook Group – Resilient(ish) Women: https://m.facebook.com/groups/ResilientWomenUK Connect with me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pamcottman/ Or LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamcottman/  Head to my website: https://pamcottman.com  Or drop me an email: [email protected]

What do you do when you’re feeling a bit impostery?September can feel wobbly. There’s a lot going on, and it’s easy for all that external stuff to turn inwards – to feel like you don’t know what you’re doing, and how very dare you even try.In this episode, I’m sharing 5 things I'll be doing whenever I notice I'm getting in my own way – from noticing and challenging the negative chat in our heads, to reframing it, talking to someone and, yes, trying coaching.Because thoughts aren’t facts. And sometimes the things we’re telling ourselves aren’t true, aren’t useful, or are simply getting in the way of what we actually want.So if you’re feeling a bit impostery, this episode is your reminder that you can challenge the imposteryness – not a real word, but I want it to be one – and choose something more useful to focus on.Want more tips for building resilience?  Sign up for my weekly newsletter Notes for the Resilient(ish): https://pamcottman.substack.com Join my FREE Facebook Group – Resilient(ish) Women: https://m.facebook.com/groups/ResilientWomenUK Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/pamcottman/ Or LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamcottman/  Head to my website: https://pamcottman.com  Or drop me an email: [email protected]

What if some of the things you think you should  be doing are actually getting in the way of what you want to be doing?In this episode, I’m talking about the shoulds that can affect the way we feel about ourselves – from how we’re “supposed” to feel, to the stories we tell ourselves about what gives us worth and value.I share a story about going live in my Facebook group in my pyjama bottoms, and the irony that nearly stopped me showing up to share a message about self-worth.Tune in to find out why it’s time to give yourself permission to say sod off to some shoulds.Want more tips for building resilience?  Sign up for my weekly newsletter Notes for the Resilient(ish): ⁠https://pamcottman.substack.com⁠ Join my FREE Facebook Group – Resilient(ish) Women: ⁠https://m.facebook.com/groups/ResilientWomenUK⁠ Connect with me on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/pamcottman/⁠ Or LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamcottman/⁠  Head to my website: ⁠https://pamcottman.com⁠  Or drop me an email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

What if resilience isn't about bouncing back?In this first episode of Series 4, I’m challenging the idea that being resilient means a speedy recovery or carrying on as though nothing happened.Because sometimes - most of the time - resilience isn't bouncy at all.Instead, it can look like rest, patience and taking the time you need to gather yourself and top yourself up before you go again.I share what one story of recovery from injury reminded me about resilience, and how the resilience we see and admire on sports pitches and courts is built through the preparation and practice behind the scenes that we don't see.If September has you navigating change, uncertainty or a new beginning, this episode is a reminder that you don't have to bounce back to be resilient.Want more tips for building resilience?  Sign up for my weekly newsletter Notes for the Resilient(ish): ⁠https://pamcottman.substack.com⁠ Join my FREE Facebook Group – Resilient(ish) Women: ⁠https://m.facebook.com/groups/ResilientWomenUK⁠ Connect with me on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/pamcottman/⁠ Or LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamcottman/⁠  Head to my website: ⁠https://pamcottman.com⁠  Or drop me an email: ⁠[email protected]⁠

After a 2 year break I’m bringing back the podcast series where we talk about what resilience really looks like.The intro music may have changed but I’m still your host, resilience coach, Pam Cottman, and in each episode I’ll be sharing stories, reflections, ideas and practical tools to help you build self-belief, confidence and clarity, even when life gets busy. So you’ll have a kinder, more realistic toolkit for navigating all the inevitable ups and downs of life. The first episode of series 4 comes out this week so head to Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts and follow Lessons in Resilience to make sure you don’t miss an episode.

Feeling the overwhelm as the end of term approaches? You're not alone.   It’s the same feeling I get at the end of the working day, in the run-up to the weekend and especially as we near the end of term.   Juggling work, family, and everything else doesn’t just feel like a lot. It IS a lot.   But fear not: in this last episode of series 3 you’ll find 5 tips to help tackle that overwhelm.   Hope you find them useful.   And, as it’s the last episode of this series, I wanted to say thank you – for listening, and for all of your lovely feedback and messages. I really love reading them, and hearing what’s helped you most.   See you in June for Series 4 of Lessons in Resilience! Want more tips for building resilience?   Sign up for my weekly newsletter The Resilience Toolkit: http://eepurl.com/gmPlQz   Join my FREE Facebook Group – Resilient(ish) Women: https://m.facebook.com/groups/ResilientWomenUK   Connect with me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pamcottman/ and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamcottman/   Head to my website: https://pamcottman.com   Or drop me an email: [email protected]

Inspired by a weekend with my uni mates, this episode is all about friendship.   What we spend our time doing and talking about may have changed (a bit), but after 28 years of knowing each other, what I love most about our time together is how it makes me feel (well, that…and the inevitable retelling of our funniest stories).   It’s no wonder that connection is a key component of resilience.   So get listening to find out more about the power of friendship and connection, and how to get more of it.   Want more tips for building resilience?   Sign up for my weekly newsletter The Resilience Toolkit: http://eepurl.com/gmPlQz   Join my FREE Facebook Group – Resilient(ish) Women: https://m.facebook.com/groups/ResilientWomenUK   Connect with me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pamcottman/ and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamcottman/   Head to my website: https://pamcottman.com   Or drop me an email: [email protected]

In this episode, I'm talking about a topic that often arises in client sessions (and my own life) - control. From feeling powerless, and overwhelmed by others' opinions, to trying (and failing) to keep on top of EVERYTHING, it's often a struggle to find the middle ground. But there is one. And in this episode I'll help you find it, by inviting you to think about what's within your control, and how to let go of the rest. Want more tips for building resilience?   Sign up for my weekly newsletter The Resilience Toolkit: http://eepurl.com/gmPlQz   Join my FREE Facebook Group – Resilient(ish) Women: https://m.facebook.com/groups/ResilientWomenUK   Connect with me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/pamcottman/ and LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/pamcottman/   Head to my website: https://pamcottman.com   Or drop me an email: [email protected]