The Right to a Speedy Denial

Are you a knuckle cracker? Or do you hate the sound? What other bodily functions make "fun" noises? The J Squad discusses this and much more in the last Members Only Mailbag of 2025! Available now in the members-only bonus feed!Not a member yet? You can become a member TODAY at maximumfun.org/join. Just $5 a month gets you immediate access to our full library of bonus content. Gift-giving season has come to a close but why not give yourself a lil treat?Thank you to all of our members for keeping this show going! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!

It's time to clear the docket and offer some SNACK JUDGMENTS! Who better to offer expertise than the best snackologists in the biz, Michael Ian Black and Tom Cavanagh of MIKE AND TOM EAT SNACKS! Should you pack road trip snacks or go wild at Buc-ee's? What is the right way to eat a Fruit Roll Up? What kind of potato chip was Jesse eating before the recording?Did you know that MIKE AND TOM EAT SNACKS is back with brand new episodes? Find it at matescast.com!San Francisco area litigants, join us LIVE at San Francisco Sketchfest on Sunday, January 18th. Don’t wait - get your tickets now here!That time of the year between the holidays and New Year’s is the perfect time to bust out your coziest goth gear - and subtly signal to your family, via hat, whether they are RIGHT or WRONG. Get all our merch, plus the smell of Pure Justice, at our store here: maxfunstore.com/collections/judge-john-hodgmanBecome a member to unlock special bonus episodes, exclusive merch, and more by joining us at maximumfun.org/join. Have a dispute that you can’t settle? No case is too small for the honorable Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn! Submit your cases directly to the court at maximumfun.org/jjho. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!

Kate wants to adopt another elderly snake to replace their deceased pet Ember, but Wes is hesitant to open his heart again to another senior snake adoption. What is the optimal leg to pet ratio? Is it easier to give birth to something with no bones? Who is the placenta lady - should we be scared of her? More importantly, who's right? Who's wrong?It’s the holidays! Get your JJHo merch at MaxFunStore.com! Right and wrong caps, Pure Justice Smell candle, and cozy gothcozyclothes! And a ticket to see us in January at SF Sketchfest makes a LOVELY gift! Sunday, January 18 at Marines’ Memorial Theatre, on sale now!We are on TikTok and YouTube! Follow us on both @judgejohnhodgmanpod! Follow us on Instagram @judgejohnhodgman!Thanks to reddit user u/haylstorm090 for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!

Holly brings the case against her mother, Joelle. Joelle can’t tell a story about her day to day without cracking herself up. When she’s giggling, no one can understand what she’s saying. Joelle says talking to her daughters makes her so happy. She feels relaxed enough to let it all hang out, giggles and all. But Holly says STOP LAUGHING. She just wants to know what Joelle is talking about. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? It’s the holidays! Get your JJHo merch at MaxFunStore.com! Right and wrong caps, Pure Justice Smell candle, and cozy gothcozyclothes! And a ticket to see us in January at SF Sketchfest makes a LOVELY gift! Sunday, January 18 at Marines’ Memorial Theatre, on sale now!We are on TikTok and YouTube! Follow us on both @judgejohnhodgmanpod! Follow us on Instagram @judgejohnhodgman!Thanks to reddit user u/HarryElephante for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun!Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething. Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!

Experience the magic that is Judge John Hodgman and Bailiff Jesse Thorn LIVE in Brookline! In this episode of Road Court, the Judge decides how much of those tasty leftovers are worth saving, marvels at the wonders of a Bronze Hotdog (still not a sandwich!), and litigates whether an uncle who hates A Christmas Carol is, in fact, a Scrooge. Does an apple pie that is extremely close to a cheesecake deserve an award for pie, or is it stolen culinary valor?Huge thanks to Samantha Couture from the Massachusetts Historical Society! If you want to know more about that bronze hot dog, listen to this episode of the MHS' podcast The Object of History. Follow the MHS on Instagram at @mhs1791.It’s the holidays! Get your JJHo merch at MaxFunStore.com! Right and wrong caps, Pure Justice Smell candle, and cozy gothcozyclothes! And a ticket to see us in January at SF Sketchfest makes a LOVELY gift! Sunday, January 18 at Marines’ Memorial Theatre, on sale now!We are on TikTok and YouTube! Follow us on both @judgejohnhodgmanpod! Follow us on Instagram @judgejohnhodgman!Thanks to reddit user u/Hyphum for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!

Do you play Mancala? How satisfying are those little stones! The J Squad talks about Mancala, amongst MANY other topics, this month in the Members Only Mailbag. If you want to hear the full episode, it's available now in the bonus content feed for MaxFun members. Not a member? NO PROBLEM. You can become a member today at maximumfun.org/join. Just $5 a month gets you immediate access to our full library of bonus content.Thank you to all of our members for keeping this show going! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!

The holiday season has officially begun. Let's celebrate with some rollicking fun with the J Squad! That's right. We are opening the Members Only Mailbag and spreading some cheer. We talk about a romantasy series that has made one of our members "feral and unwell." Plus, eating salad greens by the handful, Jesse's clothing system, changing the toilet paper roll, and much more!If you want to hear more of the J Squad yapping, we have great news! We do this once a month and it's available for all MaxFun members. Missing out on the fun? We have an easy fix. Just join us at maximumfun.org/join for $5 a month, and you'll have tons of bonus content to catch up on.Looking for gift ideas? Get some JJHo merch at MaxFunStore.com! Or, a ticket to see us in January at SF Sketchfest makes a LOVELY gift! Sunday, January 18 at Marines’ Memorial Theatre, on sale now! Or, give the gift of MaxFun membership at maximumfun.org/join!Follow us on:YouTubeTikTokInstagramBlueSky Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!

We are back at San Francisco Sketchfest! A case about a chest freezer, a classic Groundhog Day time loop with James and Rob from Kasper Hauser, and a dispute about Jimmy Buffett Trivia! With special Jimmy Buffett expertise from the recorded voice of a Friend of the Court who knew Jimmy Buffett! (whispers: it's Justin McElroy. Of course, it's Justin McElroy)SPOILER ALERT: If you'd like to donate to Conner and Yael's skin cancer awareness fundraiser in honor of Jimmy Buffet, you may do so here! END SPOILER!It's the holidays! Get your JJHo merch at MaxFunStore.com! Right and wrong caps, Pure Justice Smell candle, and cozy goth cozy clothes! And a ticket to see us in January at SF Sketchfest makes a LOVELY gift! Sunday, January 18 at Marines' Memorial Theatre, on sale now!We are on TikTok and YouTube! Follow us on both @judgejohnhodgmanpod! Follow us on Instagram @judgejohnhodgman!Thanks to reddit user u/poop-parade for naming this week’s case! To suggest a title for a future episode, keep an eye on the Maximum Fun subreddit at reddit.com/r/maximumfun! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!

It's time to clear the docket and Friend of the Court Nick Offerman(Parks and Recreation, Death By Lightning) is here to help! Should one bring a whole, uncut watermelon to a party? Is polyurethane better than a wood oil finish? Is walnut an overused wood? Nick helps settle these cases and much more, including the question that rocks this Court: IS KETCHUP GOOD ON FRENCH TOAST?Nick's newest book Little Woodchucks: Offerman Woodshop's Guide to Tools and Tomfoolery is out NOW wherever you get books! And you can see him on DEATH BY LIGHTNING now on Netflix.New JJHo merch for the holidays and Cozy Season is available at MaxFunStore.com! Don't miss out on a chance to get your RIGHT or WRONG caps, the PURE JUSTICE SMELL candle, and your COZY GOTH comfy clothes!Please consider donating to Al Otro Lado. Al Otro Lado provides legal assistance and humanitarian aid to refugees, deportees, and other migrants trapped at the US-MX border. Donate at alotrolado.org/letsdosomething.We are on TikTok and YouTube! Follow us on both @judgejohnhodgmanpod! Follow us on Instagram @judgejohnhodgman! Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!

We are a little late getting October's Members Only Mailbag episode up, but it's here! Check your bonus feeds if you are a member. You won't want to miss this one. Did you know there is a subreddit for people who like to pee in their sinks? Why is this even a topic in the Member Mailbag? What disgusting thing was Judge Hodgman and his friend, Charles, doing in Charles' room?? The only way to find out is by listening to the full episode, for members only! Become a member TODAY at maximumfun.org/join at just $5 a month for access to our full library of bonus content.  Judge John Hodgman is member-supported! Join at $5 a month at maximumfun.org/join!