Jeffrey van Leeuwen Podcast

Drowsy driving is deadlier than drunk driving. In this episode, Dr. Leah Kaylor explains why your sleep is a safety issue, not just a lifestyle choice. She is a licensed clinical and prescribing psychologist, the FBI’s in-house sleep expert with a specialty in sleep and trauma, and a relentless educator on evidence-based fixes.  1. Reset your clock: keep a consistent wake time and get outside within an hour of waking. Morning light signals the suprachiasmatic nucleus, shuts off lingering melatonin, and jump-starts alertness.  2. Master evenings: dim overheads, use lamps or warm smart bulbs, and let your space darken with sunset. Keep bedrooms cool in the low 60s.  3. If you work nights: use a sunrise alarm and timed bright-light therapy to shift rhythm; front-load a healthy meal; sip caffeine little and often with a hard cutoff 6–8 hours before bed; no sunglasses while commuting home if you are driving; sleep in a dark, quiet, truly blackout room.  4. Safety first: learn the “nappuccino” (espresso, then a 20-minute nap). It outperforms either alone when fatigue hits mid-commute. Microsleeps make you stop steering and braking entirely. Pull over.  5. Insomnia or apnea: insomnia shows up as trouble falling, staying asleep, or waking unrefreshed; obstructive sleep apnea often hides behind loud snoring, morning headaches, and crushing daytime fatigue. Get a sleep study.  6. Habits that help: avoid long or late naps; reserve the bed for the three S’s only—sleep, sex, sickness; set boundaries with screens and games; watch caffeine’s 4–6 hour half-life; skip alcohol as a “sleep aid” since it fragments sleep and suppresses REM.   Thank you for listening.   SHOW LINKS: Support the Show on: Patreon Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn   OUTLINE: 00:00 What a Sleep Psychologist Does 01:53 Why the FBI Needs Sleep Science 04:51 Three High-Impact Sleep Habits 10:18 Consistent Schedule, Sunrise Alarms, and Light 15:40 What Is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) 17:18 Shift-Work Survival: Strategies and Support 23:10 Drowsy Driving and the Nappuccino 30:41 Night Shifts and Cancer Risk 39:33 Are You Actually Sleep Deprived 44:32 Wired but Tired; Does Creatine Help 48:35 Screens, Gaming, and Bedtime Procrastination 57:05 Train Your Brain: The Three S’s 1:06:26 Insomnia vs Sleep Apnea 1:21:26 Naps, Sleep Inertia, and Timing 1:28:25 The Effect of Alcohol on Sleep 1:30:26 The Myth of 4-Hour Sleep 1:38:54 Final Thoughts & Outro   LEAH KAYLOR LINKS: Leah Kaylor's Website & Book Leah Kaylor on YouTube Leah Kaylor on Instagram Leah Kaylor on LinkedIn   CONTACT LINKS: Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.

At nine, Michael Ostrolenk refused a psychiatrist’s quick-fix, walked out, and followed a different map: guided imagery, biofeedback, meditation, and martial arts. That choice shaped everything. Years later, a brutal one-two of loss during an MBA program forced a pivot into transpersonal and somatic psychology, coaching, and a decade building programs with SEALFIT. In this conversation, Michael traces the line from a mislabeled “learning disabled” kid to a clinician and coach who helps people regulate their nervous systems, deepen relationships, and live with agency. We talk about: Why the industrial school model rewards compliance, and how unschooling or democratic free schools can cultivate curiosity. When to consider sleep, nutrition, movement, family dynamics, and environment before reaching for Ritalin or Concerta, plus the limited, tactical role stimulants might play for adults. AM and PM rituals that work: sleep hygiene, 5-7 breathing to calm, box breathing to focus, light movement, gratitude. How somatic work unfreezes anger or sadness, and how to measure change using first, second, and third person feedback. What mindfulness actually is: the trained witness that turns reactivity into choice. Thank you for listening.   SHOW LINKS: Support the Show on: Patreon Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn   OUTLINE: 00:00 Introduction 01:43 Who Is Michael Ostrolenk? 04:45 Questioning Education and Early Struggles 08:47 Alternative Healing and Martial Arts at Age Nine 11:12 Rethinking Education for Children 17:07 Holistic Approaches for Parents 20:51 Parenting, Pressure, and the 80/20 Rule 23:34 Perspectives on Ritalin and Concerta 29:26 Creativity, School, and Medication 33:36 Origins of the Industrial Education System 42:02 Turning Point: From MBA to Psychology 47:06 Exploring Transpersonal Psychology 52:46 Psychedelics, Therapy, and Consciousness 54:07 Understanding Mind–Body Connection 01:00:06 Working With Couples and Emotions 01:11:59 Practical Habits for Sleep, Diet, and Movement 01:17:45 Breathing and Guided Meditation for Sleep 01:23:56 Morning Rituals and Preparation Practices 01:28:50 Tracking Progress and Measuring Change 01:33:59 Mindfulness vs. Consciousness 01:39:01 What Lack of Mindfulness Looks Like 01:45:40 Does Mindfulness Make Life More Frustrating? 01:48:09 Agreements, Relationships, and Appreciation 01:58:40 Final Thoughts   MICHAEL OSTROLENK LINKS: Michael's Youtube Channel Michael's LinkedIn Michael's Instagram Michael's X   CONTACT LINKS: Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.   This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

Is family court protecting you or enabling abuse? In this episode, high-conflict divorce coach Lisa Johnson of Been There Got Out breaks down how “legal abuse” and coercive control play out in real cases, and why smart strategy (and not just righteousness) wins in court. Drawing from her own litigation (including arguing an appeal herself that resulted in a published decision in the Connecticut Law Journal), Lisa shows how to navigate a system that often rewards gamesmanship over truth. We talk about: What legal abuse and “legal gaslighting” look like day-to-day—and how to keep your footing when the other side twists facts. The discipline of “writing for the invisible audience”: turning every message into admissible evidence, building a clean paper trail, and avoiding reactive traps. Going pro se: when it’s viable, preparation pitfalls, and how courts actually perceive self-represented litigants. Enforcement that works: why “orders with teeth” (deadlines and consequences) matter more than ideal rulings—and how to push for them. Jennifer’s Law and the shift toward recognizing coercive control, expanding the legal lens beyond physical violence. A hard-earned case study: college-education obligations, repeated contempt findings, and the grind of appeals—plus the practical mindset that gets results without losing yourself. If you’re facing a high-conflict ex, custody battles, or a court process that feels endless, Lisa’s playbook offers clarity, language, and leverage you can use immediately. Thank you for listening.   SHOW LINKS: Support the Show on: Patreon Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn   OUTLINE: 00:00 Introduction 01:33 Lisa's Background 04:14 Early Red Flags 06:42 The Discovery and Denial 11:03 Telling the Kids 12:31 Betrayal Trauma & Identity Shock 20:15 Couples Counseling Gone Wrong 25:39 Why He Fought to Keep Control 33:14 Filing for Divorce & His Exit 41:23 Fighting for College Support & Enforcement 50:38 Going Pro Se & Facing Retaliation 57:32 How to Persuade a Court: Logos, Pathos, Ethos 1:10:05 Legal Gaslighting & Getting Help 1:16:21 Strategic Communication: Build Your Paper Trail 1:20:02 Proving You’re a Good Parent 1:24:44 Shielding Kids From Court Conflict 1:27:18 Jennifer’s Law, Coercive Control & Orders With Teeth 1:35:43 From Survivor to Coach 1:45:02 Key Advice for Listeners 1:47:00 Final Thoughts & Outro   LISA JOHNSON LINKS: Been There Got Out Website Been There Got Out on Instagram Been There Got Out on X   CONTACT LINKS: Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.   This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

Joshua Spatha majored in anthropology with a minor in Old Testament studies and has served in full-time missions since 2006, primarily across the Middle East and Asia. An ordained minister and disciple‑maker with Youth With A Mission (YWAM), Joshua blends frontline ministry with academic insight, as he prepares for long-term ministry in Central Asia. In our conversation, you'll hear how Western culture’s reliance on materialism and humanism has fueled a deep meaning crisis, and why happiness alone no longer sustains us. Joshua shares compelling analogies to illustrate how adopting a self‑centered framework inevitably leads to emptiness and incoherence. He challenges the question, “What’s in it for me?” as the wrong foundation. This episode is not just about morality: it’s about how reason and spiritual depth intertwine, why faith isn’t a blind leap, and how a rational embrace of the supernatural reclaims meaning. Thank you for listening.   SHOW LINKS: Support the Show on: Patreon Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn   OUTLINE: 00:00 Introduction 01:44 The Modern Meaning Crisis 07:48 Enlightenment’s Impact on Faith 11:23 From Religion to Self-Focus 14:55 Science, Truth & Worldviews 20:02 Personal Meaning vs Objective Reality 31:45 Christianity’s Case for Human Flourishing 36:49 Secular Morality Under the Microscope 44:42 Chaos, Materialism & Ethics 01:07:16 Implicit Spirituality & Cognitive Dissonance 01:16:29 The Universal Conscience 01:19:29 Free Will and Belief Change 01:53:39 Miracles: Chance or Design? 02:22:05 Practicing and Testing Faith 02:32:47 Final Thoughts & Outro   JOSHUA SPATHA LINKS: Joshua's Website & Book   CONTACT LINKS: Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.   This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

Andrew-Ryan Profaci thought he found spiritual truth, but instead became entangled in the bizarre world of a modern cult known as “Love Has Won.” Driven by curiosity and a deep desire for meaning, Andrew-Ryan quickly rose from outsider to insider, witnessing firsthand the manipulation tactics of cult leader Amy Carlson, referred to by members as “Mother God,” whom he once cared for deeply.   In this raw and honest conversation, we talk about:  - What initially drew Andrew to the cult known as "Love Has Won." - A vivid portrayal of daily life within the cult. - The leadership’s layered control tactics and massive financial exploitation. - An individual who secretly orchestrated and controlled the cult behind the scenes. - What really happened before and directly after Amy Carlson’s death, and why Andrew now speaks out.   SHOW LINKS: Support the Show on: Patreon Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn   OUTLINE: 00:00 Introduction 02:26 What Is “Love Has Won”? 04:09 From Community to Cult 06:11 The Origins: Amy Carlson’s Intentions 09:47 Andrew’s Journey Begins 11:08 Searching for Meaning: Why People Join 15:41 Missing Self-Love and Authenticity 17:42 Manipulation & Control Tactics 18:57 Patterns in Cult Dynamics 23:51 Daily Life Inside the Cult 27:46 Recruitment and Indoctrination Process 30:26 Cult Hierarchy 33:10 Andrew’s Inner Conflict: Amy vs. “Mother God” 40:51 How Media Portrayed Amy Carlson 43:16 Behind the Persona: Why Amy Became “Mother God” 48:19 Miguel Lamboy: The "Hidden Hand" 56:03 Andrew vs. Miguel: The Proxy War 58:06 Challenging Amy’s Delusions 01:05:37 Descent into Darkness: Cult’s Final Days 01:13:23 Did Resistance Make Things Worse? 01:16:29 The Consequences of Leaving “Love Has Won” 01:23:34 Redefining Love and Trust 01:28:18 Amy’s Death: Tragedy & Questions Unanswered 01:42:48 Amy: Victim or Perpetrator? 01:47:36 Final Words to Amy 01:49:00 Why Andrew Speaks Out 01:55:59 Final Thoughts   ANDREW-RYAN PROFACI LINKS: Andrew's Website & Books Andrew's Instagram Andrew's LinkedIn   CONTACT LINKS: Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.   This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.  

After decades of guiding couples through their most challenging moments, Dr. Bruce Chalmer understands what truly brings relationships to life. With a deeply personal journey from statistics to psychology, Bruce discovered that helping couples navigate intimacy, stability, and the complexities of forgiveness wasn’t just a profession. It was a calling. In our conversation, Bruce explores profound insights on what makes relationships thrive or fail. He thoughtfully challenges common assumptions, offering the provocative question: “Do you feel alive in your relationship?” Bruce delves into why many couples drift apart, becoming roommates instead of romantic partners, and how they can rekindle lost connections. We also explore how infidelity, while deeply traumatic, can paradoxically create opportunities for renewed intimacy and trust. This episode is a meditation on the meaning of commitment, why marriage matters very deeply, and how embracing the discomfort of honesty can lead couples toward genuine fulfillment and emotional closeness. Thank you for listening.   SHOW LINKS: Support the Show on: Patreon Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn   OUTLINE: 00:00 Introduction 01:55 Discovering a Calling in Relationship Therapy 04:13 Career Transitions and Finding Purpose 06:04 Couples Therapy vs. Relationship Therapy: Clarifying Terms 07:55 Coaching vs. Therapy: The Real Differences 09:46 How Couples Therapy Actually Works 12:34 Marriage as a Path to Growth 17:28 Why Marriage Rates Are Declining 21:53 Cultural and Economic Reasons Behind Fewer Marriages 29:22 Why We Still Romanticize Marriage 31:52 Stability vs. Intimacy in Relationships 39:02 Emotional Bank Accounts in Marriage 41:20 Why Being Annoyed is Actually Good 45:10 Understanding the True Value of Marriage 51:16 The Difference Between a Contract and a Covenant 56:33 The Psychological Damage of Infidelity 01:00:06 Forgiveness, Trust, and Moving Forward 01:09:35 Why Faith is Essential in Relationships 01:12:03 Are Humans Biologically Monogamous? 01:20:41 How Do I Know if I’m a Good Partner? 01:32:45 How Can You Tell if a Marriage is Fundamentally Healthy? 01:34:43 When Relationships Feel Like Roommates 01:40:36 Reaching Heaven by Passing Through Hell 01:51:31 When to Seek Couples Therapy 01:58:09 What Relationships Truly Represent 02:05:44 Final Thoughts   BRUCE CHALMER LINKS: Bruce's Website & Books Couples Therapy in Seven Words Podcast (Apple) Couples Therapy in Seven Words Podcast (Spotify)   CONTACT LINKS: Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.   This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

What does true evil look like? And how do you confront it face-to-face? In this raw conversation with Brad Beeler, who served as a Special Agent for the United States Secret Service for 25 years, we explore his extraordinary career confronting humanity’s darkest crimes, especially those involving children. Brad reveals a rarely-seen side of the United States Secret Service, reflecting deeply on his experiences as a polygraph examiner, where he faced some of the most malicious individuals imaginable. In our conversation, we also discuss: Why empathy can become a crucial weapon in interrogations, even with society’s worst criminals. How international cooperation enabled Brad and his team to crack complex child exploitation cases. The subtle psychological strategies used to identify deception, gain trust, and ultimately reveal truth. The chilling realities of interacting with truly evil individuals, and what Brad learned about the darkest corners of human behavior. Brad’s story is profoundly human, exploring the complex layers of morality, ethical boundaries, and personal resilience required to confront humanity’s most troubling personalities. Thank you for listening.   EPISODE LINKS: Buy Tell Me Everything (Book)   By using this link, we earn commission from qualifying purchases.   SHOW LINKS: Support the Show on: Patreon Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn   OUTLINE: 00:00 Introduction 02:19 Brad’s Most Proud Career Achievement 03:09 Secret Service Beyond Presidential Protection 05:31 Future of Secret Service Investigations 06:55 Inside the Trump Assassination Attempts 10:22 Debunking Trump Assassination Conspiracies 14:21 Conspiracy Theories and Media Polarization 16:53 Strategies for Distinguishing Truth from Falsehood 20:03 Building Trust and Rapport 23:38 The Role of Empathy in Criminal Investigations 41:58 The Psychological Cost of Interviewing Criminals 46:13 Combating Child Exploitation: Global Collaboration 49:00 Navigating Legal Complexities in International Law Enforcement 50:32 Four Key Behavioral Analysis Questions 01:00:12 Detecting Deception in Interviews 01:15:34 Negotiation Techniques: Tactical Empathy & Body Language 01:28:38 Recognizing Manipulation and Assessing Intentions 01:33:00 Does True Evil Exist? 01:40:57 Brad’s Perspective on Humanity 01:44:14 Overcoming Personal and Professional Setbacks 01:46:32 “Tell Me Everything”: Brad’s Upcoming Book 01:47:36 Final Thoughts   BRAD BEELER LINKS: Brad's LinkedIn Brad's Instagram    CONTACT LINKS: Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.   This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

In a vulnerable and deeply reflective conversation, personal growth coach Kristan Swan and Jeffrey delve into a quiet fear that most of us carry: the anxiety about being misunderstood or misrepresented by others. Through candid storytelling and authentic introspection, Kristan shares how the shadows of past experiences and the fear of judgment often hinder our ability to form meaningful connections and trust in relationships. The episode moves organically through themes of nostalgia, self-awareness, curiosity, and spirituality, exploring how each plays a role in our perceptions of self and our courage to authentically engage with others. This is a conversation without a clear angle, yet circles around how to navigate conversations and relationships with honesty and genuine empathy. Thank you for listening.   SHOW LINKS: Support the Show on: Patreon Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn   OUTLINE: 00:00 Introduction 05:31 The Problem With Asking “What Do You Do?” 07:37 Societal Undervaluation of Motherhood 13:49 The Human Need for Connection 15:26 Embracing Spontaneous Conversations 24:20 Polarization and the Desire for Belonging 26:57 Why We Struggle to Change Our Minds 34:42 Navigating Opposing Truths 36:11 The Danger of Nostalgia 54:56 Defining Nostalgia 01:01:19 The Nature of Spirituality 01:08:36 Secular Spirituality and Trusting Yourself 01:17:38 Allowing Yourself to Feel Fully 01:25:37 Loneliness and the Need to Be Heard 01:33:47 What Do You Love About Life? 01:34:51 Final Thoughts   KRISTAN SWAN LINKS: Kristan's Website   CONTACT LINKS: Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.   This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

Joel Bouchard, philosophy podcaster and author of From Nowhere to Nothing, joins me for an intellectually intense exploration into some of life’s deepest philosophical dilemmas. In this episode, Joel skillfully unpacks intricate issues like the nature of good and evil, whether humans are inherently moral beings, and if true free will even exists. In our conversation, we talk about: Why free will might be more limited than you think. The hidden paradox within the concept of an all-knowing, all-good deity and the existence of evil. How humans naturally strive to make order from chaos, both externally in the world and internally in their minds. The surprising psychology behind why people struggle with discipline and sticking to personal decisions. Whether morality is inherently programmed or learned from our environment, relationships, and experiences. Thank you for listening.   SHOW LINKS: Support the Show on: Patreon Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn   OUTLINE: 00:00 Introduction 02:12 Who Is Joel Bouchard? 03:53 What Philosophy Actually Is 07:09 Implicit vs Explicit Philosophy 10:09 Is Life Worth Living? 13:40 Religion, Atheism, and Nihilism 17:21 Hedonism and Absurdism 21:17 The Psychology of Belief 28:08 A Personal Story of Loss 31:50 Symbolism and Rituals in Human Life 39:45 The Ethical Debate Around Pets 45:52 Defining Good and Evil 51:06 Why Does Evil Exist? 01:13:15 Free Will vs Limited Will 01:25:14 Where Does Consciousness Come From? 01:29:37 The Nature of Conscience 01:47:00 Is Life Deterministic or Not? 02:00:12 The Magpie and Meaningful Coincidences 02:11:57 Final Thoughts & Outro   JOEL BOUCHARD LINKS: From Nowhere to Nothing Podcast (Spotify) From Nowhere to Nothing Podcast (Apple)   CONTACT LINKS: Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.   This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.

Is everyone suddenly a narcissist, or are we misusing the term? Dr. Sterlin Mosley, Professor of Human Relations and author of The Narcissist in You and Everyone Else, dives deep into the misunderstood realms of narcissism and empathy. Through an eye-opening conversation, Sterlin reveals why our culture casually labels selfish behaviors as narcissistic, and why real narcissism goes much deeper, intertwining with empathy. Or rather, the lack of it. In our conversation, you’ll discover: Why modern society sees NARCISSISM as a PERSONALITY TYPE instead of a nuanced SPECTRUM of behaviors. How narcissistic traits form EMOTIONAL ARMOR protecting a hidden, VULNERABLE core. The critical difference between EMPATHY and SYMPATHY, including four surprising types of empathy you never knew existed. Proven STRATEGIES for spotting and dealing with narcissists both at home and at work. How EMPATHY can be developed, and why COGNITIVE EMPATHY may be the key to healthier relationships. Thank you for listening.   EPISODE LINKS: Buy Center of the Universe (Book) Buy The Narcissist in You and Everyone Else (Book)   By using these links, we earn commission from qualifying purchases.   SHOW LINKS: Support the Show on: Patreon Listen to the Podcast on: YouTube | Apple | Spotify Follow us on: X | Reddit | Instagram | LinkedIn   OUTLINE: 00:00 Introduction 01:10 Who is Sterlin Mosley? 04:41 The Narcissist Label in Modern Society 08:37 Breaking Down the 27 Types of Narcissists 12:24 How to Identify a Narcissist: Common Misunderstandings 20:11 Strategies for Dealing with Different Narcissists 27:57 Do Narcissists Know They’re Narcissists? 35:49 Healthy Narcissism Explained 39:54 Is Narcissism a Choice? 47:47 Can Narcissism Be Cured or Managed? 52:53 Empathy vs. Sympathy: Clarifying the Differences 58:24 Narcissism, Envy, and Power Dynamics 01:04:11 Understanding Empathy: Definitions and Nuances 01:10:20 Cognitive Empathy and Human Connection 01:19:39 Practical Steps to Develop Your Empathy 01:24:24 Final Thoughts & Outro   STERLIN MOSLEY LINKS: Sterlin's LinkedIn Sterlin's Instagram   CONTACT LINKS: Click here to come on the podcast, share feedback, ask a question, or reach out for any other reason.   This episode has been co-produced by Kate van Leeuwen.