In Confidence with Rosie Dalling

Have you ever worked incredibly hard for something, only to wonder: Is this it?For high achievers, confidence is often built by setting a goal and working hard to make it happen. But what happens when you arrive and discover that success does not feel quite how you expected?My guest this week is Eloise Skinner, a former corporate lawyer who changed her life after feeling ‘something was missing’. She is now an existential therapist, teacher, model and author of But Are You Alive? She is also the founder of The Purpose Workshop and One Typical Day.Eloise says:“It’s exciting to look at your life and wonder, like, what does this mean and who am I really?”We talk about:Why getting everything you wanted can be more unsettling than failure. The “creator mindset”: how to feel powerful when life is outside your control. Why losing your identity can also be an invitation to rebuild it. Why striving can feel better than succeeding. The surprising link between confidence and feeling at home in your body. And so much more…To hear more from Eloise, you can find her on Instagram, TikTok and through her website.This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee here:https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedallingAnd if you’d like to learn more about my confidence programme for senior leaders, The Boost, you can find us here.Enjoy the episode, and tell me in the comments what you think.Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe

One minute you're hosting the breakfast show in Weston-super-Mare with 9,000 listeners. The next, you're on a plane to the Oscars, rubbing shoulders with Robin Williams, sitting next to Shirley Bassey. What does that do to your confidence?Broadcaster Zoe Hanson, burst onto National radio in the early 2000s, hosting the Capital Radio breakfast show with Johnny Vaughan. She’s enjoyed a 20 year career in commercial radio. When Heart radio went national, Zoe had to pivot, so she started the SoSo show - a Southampton based podcast, celebrating her local area. She’s now making a name for herself as ‘The Podcast Lady’, hosting podcasts for businesses, and supporting them to make their own. Zoe says: It's almost like I dare myself to be more confident — and then I'm more confident, and I ask for what I want. And I think, well, that worked out, so I might as well just try.We talk about: * Daring yourself as a confidence strategy. When Zoe wants to challenge herself to do more and more audacious challenges, she simply says to herself: ‘I dare you’. * “Look like you’re supposed to be there” Zoe’s strategy for holding her own in intimidating rooms (Oscars, Capital Radio, Shirley Bassey at the next table).* Why preparation is what makes spontaneity possible “Planned Spontaneity”: know your audience, your goal, and your style before you improvise on air - or anywhere else.* Why asking for help — specifically — is a confidence flex. Zoe’s rule: don’t wait for someone to say “just shout if you need something,” because they won’t. Say exactly what you need, and let people help.* How she rebuilt her identity after losing her 20-year breakfast show. When Heart nationalised, she compared it to “a footballer retiring” — and talks candidly about the confidence crash that followed, and how she worked through it.And so much more… To hear more from Zoe, you can find her on instagram and her website.This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedallingIf you’d like to learn more about my confidence program for senior leaders, The Boost, you can find us here.Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think.Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe

Who gets to define what a “good” life looks like? For Tamu Thomas, the answer arrived mid-panic-attack, on her way to court.Tamu is the author of Women Who Work Too Much, and a woman who knows exactly what it costs to keep proving yourself. We talk about burnout, boundaries, and what confidence actually looks and feels like in the body.After 16 years as a social worker, deciding the fate of vulnerable families, it was Tamu’s own burnout that brought her to her knees. She’s since retrained as a somatic coach, helping high-performing women and organisations thrive without burning out. Her book, Women Who Work Too Much, was published by Hay House in 2024.Tamu talks to me about why burnt-out leaders can’t actually lead.“You cannot be grinding in the weeds and lead simultaneously... you need to be like a lighthouse guiding people back to shore and inspiring people.”In this episode, we explore:* Why so many high-achieving women are burning out and the “good girl” conditioning behind it* Tamu’s own turning point: a panic attack on the way to give evidence in court, after 16 years as a social worker* Why confidence isn’t about certainty and how saying “I don’t know” can be one of the most confident things you say* How to stop absorbing other people’s disappointment as your own failure* Why prioritising yourself isn’t selfish, including a practical first step for anyone who feels like they’re doing too muchAnd my favourite new concept: “Chore play”, the surprisingly practical link between shared domestic labour and intimacy.And so much more…If you want to help me get the word out, liking, following, restacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference. We’re on apple, spotify and youtube. You can also share this episode easily using the button below.To hear more from Tamu, you can find her on instagram and Linked In. This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedallingIf you’d like to learn more about my confidence program for senior leaders, The Boost, you can find us here.Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think.Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe

Jane Green is an 18-time New York Times bestselling author with more than 10 million books in print. She also writes the hugely popular “Dear Jane” column as the Daily Mail’s agony aunt.In this podcast, Jane talks to me about confidence, identity, and what happens when you become successful before you believe you deserve it.She speaks about the runaway success of her novel Jemima J, the ‘persona’ she adopted as her career took off, and how pretending to be someone she wasn’t nearly cost her everything.She speaks openly about people-pleasing, shame and status. And the moment the life she’d built came crashing down.This experience forced her to ask herself:Who would you be if you stopped caring what anyone else thought of you?This episode explores how confidence, clarity and self-trust grow when you lean in to your true self.In this episode, we explore:* How loss and change can strip you back to what matters* What it really means to know your value* Why confidence is built through action: certainty is not a pre-requisiteAnd so much more…If you want to help me get the word out, liking, following, restacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference. We’re on apple, spotify and youtube. You can also share this episode easily using the button below.To hear more from Jane, you can read her substack here and get her books here.This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedallingIf you’d like to learn more about my confidence program for senior leaders, The Boost, you can find us here.Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think.Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe

She had the CEO title, the Harvard education, the house in the city of her dreams, the husband, even the French Bulldog with the face for Instagram. So why was she asking: Is that all there is? Alisha Fernandez Miranda is the award-winning author of the USA Today bestselling novel Someone’s Gotta Give and the memoir My What If Year.At the age of 40, she made a list of everything she'd always wanted to try, and set out to become… A-40-Year-Old-intern. Believe it or not, this was not easy. Throw in a global pandemic, some well-meaning but tricky-to-impress parents, and logistics of a working mum and you’ve got a near-impossible feat to achieve. Alisha says The scariest bit was starting down this path and not knowing where it was going to end up, and not knowing how I was going to be at the end... I still had to get up every day and go. I was looking for my next internship, emailing people without any clue whatsoever of what the final outcome was going to be, and that was terrifying to me.We also discuss: * How to deal with the guilt of wanting more * The non-refundable ticket approach to confidence * The importance of knowing who to call to boost your confidence For any musical theatre fans, we also bond over Stephen Sondheim. If you’re a fan of the movie Sliding Doors, this one is for you. Listen on the video above or come and find us on apple, spotify and youtubeLiking, following, re-stacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference to this podcast. We’re on apple, spotify and youtube. You can also share this episode easily using the button below.To hear more from Alisha, you can visit her website, here. Or find her on instagram here. This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedallingBy the way, I help C-suite leaders and founders build confident, robust teams. If you want help with that, drop me a line here.Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think.Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe

How do you know when you’ve collected enough evidence to truly feel confident enough? Rachel Kelly is a bestselling writer, public speaker and mental health advocate. She is an ambassador for several mental health charities, including SANE and Rethink Mental Illness.In her book The Gift of Teenagers, Rachel shares how bringing up her five children in an anxious age, and her work for five years with young people in schools and universities has led to her own psychological growth.In this conversation, we explore how the need for approval that starts in our teenage years can follow us all the way to the top, and why (despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary) even the most successful people often still don't feel like enough.. She says: “You need praise, you need job success, you need a string of A stars, you need an outward series of people to say you're okay — and the work is finding ways to be good enough that don't need outward stuff.”In our conversation, we explore: * Why high expectations (not protection) are the biggest predictor of how confident the people around you become.* How to recognise your confidence ‘shark music’. * Why compassion for the sixteen year old you were, and the adult you’ve become might be the key to confidence. You don’t need to be a parent of teenagers to love this! It’s about nurturing your inner teenager to find your true, inner confidence. Listen on the video above or come and find us on apple, spotify and youtubeLiking, following, re-stacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference to this podcast. We’re on apple, spotify and youtube. You can also share this episode easily using the button below.To hear more from Rachel, you can visit her website, here. Or find her on instagram here. This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedallingBy the way, I help C-suite leaders and founders build confident, robust teams. If you want help with that, drop me a line here.Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think.Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe

What if the secret to confidence was as simple as believing that most people really really like you? David Robson is an award-winning science writer specialising in the extremes of the human brain, body and behaviour - and he thinks it is. In his book The Laws of Connection, he explains how social connection is as essential for our health and happiness as a balanced diet and regular exercise. And how by learning thirteen social strategies that help us fulfil our social potential, we can improve our creativity, increase our life span and crucially - boost our confidence. One of those laws is ‘the liking gap’, which shows we massively underestimate how much people like us, and that false belief is eroding our confidence every day “We can all afford to be a little bit more confident, and we would benefit from that, because it would help us to foster connection if we just had more faith in the fact that we were liked.”In our conversation, we explore: * Why fake it till you make it is wrong: real confidence comes from showing your full self, including the bits you’re ashamed of, not projecting someone you’re not* Asking for help: most people avoid it because they think it makes them look weak; actually it makes people like you more* Sharing your success is a confidence builder, thanks to a fabulous word ‘confelicity’: means the people who love you want to celebrate with you* Honesty is better than niceness: being honest, even when it’s awkward, builds deeper connection than being endlessly kind, and that depth is what really grows confidence You’re going to love this one!Listen on the video above or come and find us on apple, spotify and youtubeLiking, following, re-stacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference to this podcast. We’re on apple, spotify and youtube. You can also share this episode easily using the button below.To hear more from David, you can visit his website, here. This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedallingBy the way, I help C-suite leaders and founders build confident, robust teams. If you want help with that, drop me a line here.Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think.Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe

So you've been invited to something that matters — an interview, a party, you're giving a talk. I'm going to bet one of your first thoughts is: what the hell do I wear?Alexandra Fullerton is a stylist and writer. Formerly Fashion Director-at-large of Glamour UK for five years, she was previously Fashion Director at Stylist magazine. She’s worked with everyone who’s anyone in fashion - from David Bailey to Kylie Minogue and is the author of seven books including the best selling How To Dress. Alexandra's work centres on the idea that how you dress directly shapes how you feel — and that with the right tools, anyone can use clothes as a confidence strategy. Her signature method is the three word styling technique: choose three words that define your style, and let them guide every wardrobe decision.She says:“You can totally be your inner self on the outside — or you can let your outer self and the clothes you choose lead how you feel.”In our conversation, we explore:* How to dress for the job, the room, or the life you want — even when you’re not feeling it on the inside.* The three word styling method that will save you time, money, and the 8am wardrobe spiral.* The small tweaks you can make right now — before you walk into the room — that will make you look and feel like you’ve got it together.Liking, following, re-stacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference to this podcast. We’re on apple, spotify and youtube. You can also share this episode easily using the button below.To hear more from Alex, you can find her on instagram hereThis episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedallingBy the way, I help C-suite leaders and founders build confident, robust teams. If you want help with that, drop me a line here.Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think.Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe

Write to me with your confidence problem or dilemma at [email protected] or send me a voicenote: 07377 231 025 Please read my Terms and ConditionsThis week’s letter is from a woman in her 40s in the entertainment business. Dear Rosie,I have a problem, which is that I’m not really sure who I am.I’ve started to notice that I adapt myself to whoever I’m with. I pick up the tone of the room, become interested in whatever the other person is interested in, and generally make people feel comfortable. People seem to like me, but I’m not sure they really know me.The strange thing is that I’m no longer sure I know myself either. When someone asks me what I think about something, or what I care about, I often go blank.Life has been busy and complicated for a long time, and I think I got used to just getting on with things rather than stopping to work out what I actually think or feel. Now that I’m noticing it, I realise I’ve spent years adapting to situations and people without ever really asking who I am underneath it all.So my question is this: how do you build confidence in yourself if you’re not even sure who that “self” is?I give my advice in the podcast episode above. Been through similar? Give this person your tips in the comments? The confidence boosting course I mention is linked here. And guess what, it’s currently 50% until our next episode comes out. If this episode has inspired you to develop your confidence and communication techniques, join us for our Confidence Through Storytelling workshop on Wednesday 15 April in Soho.I’ll be joined by:• West End director Abbey Wright (National Theatre, Donmar, protégé of Alan Rickman and Danny Boyle)• Award-winning playwright Nina Segal (Royal Court Associate, writer on The Crown and Hanna)Together we’ll show you how actors and performers:• hold a room• tell powerful stories• stay calm and compelling under pressureAnd I’ll help you translate these techniques into your world — so you can win pitches, bring your team on side, and be seen as a confident leader.Tickets available here: https://theboostglobal.com/workshops-and-downloads/p/the-boost-confidence-through-storytelling-workshop Corporate: £550Individual: £300 with the code IND at check outI’ve saved a couple of spots for anyone who can’t make the fee - get in touch - no questions asked. (See podcast ep RE learning)Liking, following, re-stacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference to this podcast. We’re on apple, spotify and youtube. You can also share this episode easily using the button below.This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedallingBy the way, I help C-suite leaders and founders build confident, robust teams. If you want help with that, drop me a line here.Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think.Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe

Most people think confidence is about how you come across.What if it’s actually about what you’re willing to tell the truth about?Bonnie Oddie is a writer, choreographer, and founder of Your Story Works, a programme that helps individuals and teams unlock confidence through true storytelling. The daughter of Bill Oddie, she grew up around performance and has built a career blending creativity with communication.Her work centres on using personal stories as a tool for connection, confidence and creative thinking, both on stage and within organisations.Bonnie is also the creator of an award-winning one-woman show about accompanying her mother to a Dignitas clinic, a story that revealed her distinctive ability to find humour, humanity and insight in complex, emotional experiences.In this episode, Bonnie explains why true stories are such a powerful tool for developing confidence:She says:“Confidence grows alongside the exploration of something you know is true.”‘Authenticity’ has become the word of the era. Those who struggle to access it assume it’s a skill to master. Bonnie explains something simpler. You become authentic by exploring something that’s true and expressing it.She says:“Once you’ve felt what it’s like to speak with integrity and sincerity, you can’t unfeel it.”In our conversation, we explore:• Why telling a true story gives you access to a kind of confidence that can’t be faked• How your own story becomes a powerful tool for communication, influence and leadership• What it really takes to give yourself permission to tell your version of a storyBonnie also talks about what it’s like to grow up with a famous father, and the effect it has on her confidence and identity. If this episode has inspired you to develop your confidence and communication techniques, join us for our Confidence Through Storytelling workshop on Wednesday 15 April in Soho.I’ll be joined by:• West End director Abbey Wright (National Theatre, Donmar, protégé of Alan Rickman and Danny Boyle)• Award-winning playwright Nina Segal (Royal Court Associate, writer on The Crown and Hanna)Together we’ll help you build the confidence to: • represent yourself or your business with confidence• tell powerful stories• own the room, using your voice, body and space And I’ll help you translate these techniques into your world — so you can win pitches, bring your team on side, and be seen as a confident leader.Tickets are available here.Corporates: £550Individuals: £300Liking, following, re-stacking, sharing, rating, reviewing etc makes a huge difference to this podcast. We’re on apple, spotify and youtube. You can also share this episode easily using the button below.To hear more from Bonnie, you can find her on instagram here and find her on Linked In here.This episode was produced by my amazing husband. It’s a job he never knew he wanted! If you’d like to support the making of future episodes, you can buy him a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/rosiedallingBy the way, I help C-suite leaders and founders build confident, robust teams. If you want help with that, drop me a line here.Enjoy the episode - and tell me in the comments what you think.Rosie Get full access to In Confidence at inconfidencepod.substack.com/subscribe