47. Self-Sabotage as a Misguided Desire for Safety

Take a mindful lens to the question of work-life balance. Let's start with the idea that you are a human (first), and that work is one venue (place) where you do life. Then, consider three frames:Balance as an active relationship between dynamic forces (like breathing)Balance like cross-training for function (not every day is leg day)Ask: What part of this is personal vs cultural?Consider your current life stage, season, and circumstances. Just because it doesn't look the same, doesn't mean it's there.**After the Episode**For private coaching focused on you, your goals, and your situation:https://kimnicol.com/Join the next Communication Strategies for Managers:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesFollow me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/For the lawyers: The Role of Attorney Wellbeing in Your Legal Practicehttps://www.lawline.com/course/the-role-of-attorney-wellbeing-in-your-legal-practice

Emotions are part of being human. So naturally, they are a big part of the workplace! Learn the difference between feeling an emotion and reacting to one. You'll become more effective at work -- more grounded and less reactive to the emotions of others. And, you'll get better at motivating and inspiring your team and colleagues.Deepen your learning in Communication Strategies for Managers:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesGet private coaching:https://kimnicol.com/Follow me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/

This week I unbox and review "Where Should We Begin? At Work", a card deck with conversation prompts for relationships and culture at work. This deck is a collaboration between relationship expert Esther Perel and Culture Amp, an employee experience platform. I've been a fan of Esther's work for years, so I was super curious to see what she'd created for workplace relationships and I bought this deck as soon as it was released.Watch the video:https://youtu.be/l3NqtnB28wEBuy the deck:https://game.estherperel.com/products/where-should-we-begin-at-workSign up for Leadership Orientation:https://maven.com/kimnicol/leadership-orientationEnroll in Communication Strategies:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesFor private coaching or to learn how I can help your organization:https://kimnicol.com/Follow me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/

Someone asked me how listeners find this show. I told them the truth: "I don't really know." My best guess is that you went looking for a podcast for new managers, because you had some questions about something happening at work. Or, maybe someone shared it with you after *they* stumbled upon it.In any case, you are here, listening, because you care about doing a good job. And so you've found a resource to help you do that.That is a big deal! So in this week's episode, let's focus on appreciation and giving yourself credit. I'll also share my thoughts on why it's so common for organizations to fall short of supporting their managers.Leadership Orientation is on June 18, sign up here:https://maven.com/kimnicol/leadership-orientationCommunication Strategies for Managers starts July 2, enroll here:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesSave 20% when you sign up with a colleague.For private coaching, contact me:https://kimnicol.com/Follow me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/

Leadership Orientation is on June 18. If you feel anxious wondering "Am I doing a good job?", register for Leadership Orientation and let's clear that up.You will:Identify your strengths -- so you can work with them.Uncover your values -- so you can lead with them.Define success -- so you can feel more self-assured.Through this process you'll discover more of your personal leadership style. Managers deserve more support than they get. Sometimes you just need to take matters into your own hands. Sign up here:https://maven.com/kimnicol/leadership-orientationFollow me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/For private coaching, visit:https://kimnicol.com/

Being an effective manager takes a lot of invisible work -- the emotional labor you do to help your team work well and get the work done. Mindfulness can help. Let's discuss!**After the Episode**Read the original LinkedIn post mentioned in the episode.Connect with Kim on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/Reach out for private coaching focused on your goals, situation, and who you are as a person: https://kimnicol.com/Sign up to hear about the next cohort dates:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategies

Emotions are part of the human experience, including the workplace. New managers are often surprised by the amount of emotional labor required for the job -- managing different personalities, communication styles, and expectations. If you identify as a hero or a helper, then you may put a lot of pressure on yourself, and you might measure your success based on the emotional signals of those around you.I think it's important for managers to care about their own mental health and emotional wellbeing, too. A good place to start is by checking out a Feelings Wheel. Let's discuss!**After the Episode**For private coaching focused on your goals and situation, contact me through my website:https://kimnicol.com/or DM me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/Follow The New Manager Podcast on LinkedIn:https://linkedin.com/company/the-new-manager-podcastSign up to learn about upcoming cohorts:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesFeelings Wheel:https://feelingswheel.com/

You're going to face many unexpected challenges as a leader. One of the tricky things about that is the balance between having a good foundation (skills, plan), while *also* being adaptive and making new decisions as things change.I recently completed the Neighborhood Emergency Response Team training offered by the San Francisco Fire Department, and I learned some things that are helpful for managers leading at work. Let's discuss!**After the Episode**For private coaching focused on your goals and situation, reach out: https://kimnicol.com/Find out future cohort dates:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesFollow me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/Follow The New Manager Podcast on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-new-manager-podcast

Every manager is expected to give feedback and performance reviews, so it helps to have a clear idea of what they are and how they are different. Most managers won't get any training or guidance on how to do this well -- so don't feel bad if it seems like you're expected to know how to do this. You're in the right place! This episode is a great place to start.**After the Episode**Join the next cohort for Communication Strategies for Managers: https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesFollow me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/For private coaching focused on your goals, situation, and professional development, message me on LinkedIn or through my website: https://kimnicol.com/I offer private team trainings on manager development, effective communication and feedback skills. To learn more, contact me on LinkedIn or through my website!

If you're not sure where to start when it comes to AI, this episode is for you. For starters, when you think about using a generative AI tool like Claude or ChatGPT, follow this rule:"Treat it like a person, but tell it what kind of person it is."Co-Intelligence: Living and Working with AI, by Ethan MollickRACE Prompt Framework:https://www.acronymat.com/2024/12/22/race-prompt-framework/After the EpisodeGet future cohort dates for Communication Strategies for Managers:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesFor private coaching focused on your goals and situation, go to:https://kimnicol.com/Follow me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/PS - If you like this podcast or if it's helped you in some way, please leave a rating or review! Thanks so much.