47. Self-Sabotage as a Misguided Desire for Safety

When it comes to feedback, most managers focus so much on how to give it to their team, that they completely forget to consider: How can I get quality feedback?And the truth is, the higher you go in your career the harder it is to get good feedback! Your boss will be busier than ever. You will be expected to take responsibility for your own professional development, and have the self-awareness needed to know what to work on.And the more power you have, the more people will want to keep you happy -- and will be less candid with you about your blind spots.In this episode I'll walk you through a few simple steps to make it easier for you to get quality feedback.** After the Episode**Enroll in Communication Strategies for Managers:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesGet private coaching, or support for your team development:https://kimnicol.com/Connect with me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/

Being a manager requires relational skills, because you're not just managing work you are managing people and relationships. That's why communication is so important.**After the Episode**Join the next cohort of Communication Strategies for Managers:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesReach out for private coaching to deepen your personal growth and accelerate your professional development (mindfully!):https://kimnicol.com/Connect on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/

Hey, you are a human first. (Sometimes that seems to get lost in all of the conversations about leadership and how to be a good manager.) So in today's episode, I'm sharing three prompts to shift the conversation -- to center you as a human person, first.Who you are as a person, and how you're doing in your life, will absolutely influence how you lead.**After the Episode**For private coaching, go to kimnicol.com Deepen your personal growth and boost your professional development with Communication Strategieshttps://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesFollow me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol

Why would a kind person start micromanaging people, even when they care deeply and want to do a good job? It happens more often than you might think! And it's often by accident.Managing people is a different job than being an Individual Contributor (IC). It requires a different mindset and skills -- "what got you here won't get you there," as the saying goes. Anyone can drift towards micromanaging. In today's episode, find out why this happens, and what you can do about it.**After the Episode**Enrollment in Communication Strategies for Managers:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesFor private coaching focused on your personal goals and professional development:https://kimnicol.com/Connect with me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/Become a more calm and confident leader:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/mindfulness-for-managers-at-work⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Today I'm sharing some audio from my new course on Insight Timer: Mindfulness for Managers at Work.Having the right mindset and clear intentions can steady you through change and uncertainty. It will help you feel grounded, calm, and authentically confident.Save this for anytime you need a reminder!See the full course here:⁠⁠⁠⁠https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/mindfulness-for-managers-at-work⁠Check out my other content on Insight Timer:https://insighttimer.com/kimnicol**After the Episode**Enroll in Communication Skills for Managers:⁠⁠⁠⁠https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategies⁠⁠⁠⁠Get private coaching for your personal goals and professional development:⁠⁠⁠⁠https://kimnicol.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow me on LinkedIn:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/⁠⁠⁠

Disengaged. Doing the bare minimum. Quietly looking to make a move. These are all signs of being disengaged. It happens, and if you notice it in your team (or in yourself!) this episode will give you some clarity, perspective, and ideas.A recent Gallup survey identified four areas that contribute to low employee engagement numbers. They also listened to what employees say they want most from leadership.I recommend saving this one, and listening to it again towards the end of the year.Read the article on low employee engagement here:https://www.gallup.com/workplace/692954/anemic-employee-engagement-points-leadership-challenges.aspx**After the Episode**Enrollment in Communication Strategies for Managers:https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategiesRegister now and use promo code EARLYBIRD to save $75.For private coaching focused on your personal goals and leadership growth:https://kimnicol.com/Follow me on LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/Become a more calm and confident leader:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/mindfulness-for-managers-at-work⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Did you know that your values inform your strategy and the way you make decisions? If you value harmony in relationships, you might decide to delay a tough conversation. If you value pitching in and helping, you might choose to be over-available and over work instead of establishing a boundary. Today we revisit Episode 57, taking a fresh look at how the way you do feedback is guided by your strategy and underlying values.**After the Episode**For private coaching on your situation and goals:⁠https://kimnicol.com/⁠Enroll in Communication Skills for Managers:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategies⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow me on LinkedIn:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Become a more calm and confident leader:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/mindfulness-for-managers-at-work⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

When you're an IC, you're making decisions about your work. When you're a manager, you're making decisions about other people: communicating priorities, allocating work, and maybe even conveying how work needs to get done, and by when. This requires looking at problems strategically, so you can make decisions with a bigger picture in mind. Let's discuss!**After the Episode**For private coaching on your situation and goals:⁠https://kimnicol.com/⁠Enroll in Communication Skills for Managers:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategies⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow me on LinkedIn:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Become a more calm and confident leader:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/mindfulness-for-managers-at-work⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

Today we revisit Ep. 89: People Pleasing. As a new manager, you might feel a tendency to people-please flare up.  It can get in the way by causing you to overwork (by having no boundaries), communicate poorly (by avoiding conversations or not being direct), or creating more pressure and anxiety (by ruminating).  In this episode, you'll see what creates the impulse to people-please, and what to do instead.  So you can be intentional in making decisions, and use your people-pleasing awareness for the best. **After the Episode**For private coaching on your situation and goals:⁠https://kimnicol.com/⁠Enroll in Communication Skills for Managers:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategies⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow me on LinkedIn:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Become a more calm and confident leader:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/mindfulness-for-managers-at-work⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

People are human. They have emotions. If you care how people feel, you might over-identify with their feelings (or how you think they will feel) -- and then try to manage their emotions with people-pleasing or avoidance. So today, we're going to clarify what empathy is, and where to start so you can work with emotions better at work.**After the Episode**For private coaching on your situation and goals:https://kimnicol.com/Enroll in Communication Skills for Managers:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://maven.com/kimnicol/communication-strategies⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow me on LinkedIn:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/kimnicol/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Become a more calm and confident leader:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://insighttimer.com/meditation-courses/mindfulness-for-managers-at-work⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠