How to have Extraordinary Relationships

Send us Fan MailHave you ever felt life really cannot get much worse?Has it left you wondering that you will never ever be able to claw your back in to a life that resembles something that is working? That is good? That is happy?Sarah Hiscox has been on that place. Through eating disorders, addiction, drying out clinics, loss... she has experienced it all. She describes a childhood full of desperation to love and be loved, to fit in, to be admired. She once started at a new school and said her father was the tennis player Bjorn Borg...Her life spiralled out of control. She lost her marriage, her children, her friends... heroin became her friend. All of this she describes in her book The Beginning and End of Everything.  It is a deeply personal memoir chronicling her journey through childhood insecurity, eating disorders, heroin addiction and ultimately recovery. With honesty, courage and humour, she explores the impact of addiction on her marriage, children and relationships, and how she rebuilt her life through self-awareness, acceptance and personal growth. Her story is one of resilience, reconciliation and hope, demonstrating that recovery and transformation are possible even after life's darkest chapters.And she talks about this with amazing openess and honestyKey Points from the InterviewChildhood and self-worth: Growing up with alcoholic and emotionally unavailable parents left Sarah feeling that she was never good enough.Escaping into fantasy: As a child, she invented stories about her family, including claiming tennis star Björn Borg was her father, to feel accepted.Family relationships: Her complicated relationships with her parents and sister shaped her emotional development and later relationships.Searching for love: Childhood insecurity contributed to patterns of choosing emotionally unavailable partners.Bulimia and shame: Sarah discusses her struggles with bulimia and the secrecy and shame surrounding eating disorders.Heroin addiction: What initially seemed to offer relief from emotional pain and bulimia developed into a devastating addiction.Impact on her family: Addiction damaged her marriage and relationships with her children, despite her efforts to maintain an outwardly normal life.The road to recovery: Sarah describes repeated attempts to get clean and the determination required to achieve lasting sobriety.The gift of desperation: Reaching a point where change becomes essential can provide powerful motivation for recovery.Overcoming shame: Sarah explains how she has learned to stop defining herself by her past and practise self-compassion.Recovery and personal growth: Support groups, honesty, self-awareness and challenging negative self-talk have helped her build a healthier life.Writing her memoir: Sharing her story became an important part of understanding her experiences and helping others.Hope and redemption: Sarah's journey demonstrates the possibility of rebuilding relationships, finding peace and creating a fulfilling life after addiction. Support the showHas this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan MailHave you ever wondered why your intimate love life is struggling?Have you ever wondered how to improve your relationship, come back in to connection, get closer?Do you have a 'difficult' relationship with your body? With other people's bodies?In this episode of How To Have Extraordinary Relationships, I talk to Jan Day, a leading UK Tantra teacher, relationship expert, intimacy coach and personal development facilitator, who specialises in conscious relationships, emotional intimacy, authentic connection and sexual wellbeing.With over 25 years of experience, Jan has helped individuals and couples explore Tantra, love, sexuality, self-awareness, emotional healing and deeper relationships through her transformational workshops, retreats and coaching.Jan is the author of Living Tantra: A Journey into Sex, Spirit and Relationship, exploring how Tantra and conscious intimacy can help people overcome emotional barriers, build trust, deepen connection and enjoy more fulfilling, loving relationships.In this podcast, Jan shares insights into Tantric practices, intimacy, vulnerability, relationship challenges, personal growth and the connection between sexuality and spirituality.Discover more at www.janday.com.Key points of the episode:Neo Tantra, what is it?How we can use everything to grow and come back to our selves.How we can include (happily!) sex, but not just sex, everything.The lack of sexuality education, or even body awareness most of us got when we were growing up.Her various journeys on healing her relationship to self and her sexuality.The mentors and teachers on her journey and how they all formed part of her path.The importance of the word "No" and how we need to feel empowered and safe to use it as early as possible.Her early studies that did not include sex at all.Her "message from the Universe" about sex.Her work with adult attachment patternsHow singles are welcome in her workshops and sometimes get better results than couples (and why)How trauma can come up as well.Holding strong professional standards so people can feel safe.How we need to talk about sex moreThe importance of loving our bodies AND sexuality.Unlearning the negative messages about spirituality. Support the showHas this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan MailHeather Garbutt is an experienced psychotherapist, relationship coach and specialist in love, intimacy and conscious relationships. With more than four decades working in emotional and mental health, she began her career in art psychotherapy before developing her work as a counsellor, couples therapist and relationship coach. She empowers her clients to find love, to break old patterns and to move in to their 'miravle future.'She runs online courses and workshops.She is also now helping people date...Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and Conscious Uncoupling coach, trained and mentored by relationship expert Katherine Woodward Thomas. Her work helps individuals and couples understand relationship patterns, recover from heartbreak and unhealthy relationships, strengthen self-worth and create deeper, more fulfilling connections. She combines the depth of psychotherapy with practical transformational coaching, working with clients on areas including attachment, emotional intimacy, communication, separation and finding or sustaining loving relationships. Heather is also an accredited member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and is registered with the Health and Care Professions Council. Key points of the episode:Calling in true love, dating profiles and more.How to know whether to go on date or not.Why "true love" is hard for a lot of us.Her personal patterns.The patterns that we all inherit.The revolutionary effect this can have in a persons life.How new knowledge is now available and is so helpful in dating.The "women love bad guys" idea."Chemistry". What it really is...The problems women have today.Why it is ok to "test drive more than one car at the same time"A good dating profile, from an expert.How to "train the algorithm"Why "upheaving" is not necessaryTne uncanny way these things happen.A message of hope.Find Heather - email [email protected] - if you are interested in Calling in the One, use that as the subject line. Support the showHas this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan MailIn this deeply moving episode, Lucy Cavendish speaks with ceramic sculptor Fiamma Montagu about the death of her daughter Ischia, who died by suicide at the age of 17, and the long, complex journey of living with grief that followed.Fiamma shares the shock and disbelief surrounding Ischia’s death, as well as her family’s experience of the mental health system and their concerns about the support Ischia received from CAMHS and other healthcare services despite previous suicide attempts.She talks candidly about the surreal practicalities that accompany devastating loss, from arranging a funeral while barely able to function to pursuing an inquest and trying to understand the circumstances surrounding her daughter’s death.The conversation also explores what healing can mean when there is no simple way to “move on.” Fiamma describes the practices that have helped her continue living, including exercise, breathwork, yoga, group therapy with other parents bereaved by suicide, Buddhist retreats and pilgrimages.At the heart of her journey has been a growing connection with spirituality, self-love and acceptance. Rather than claiming to have overcome her grief, Fiamma speaks about learning to live alongside it and, in her words, to live “gracefully.”Lucy and Fiamma also discuss creativity and the role of art in her life. Fiamma is an accomplished ceramic sculptor whose work has included involvement with the celebrated Tower of London poppy installation, alongside new public art commissions.A powerful conversation about motherhood, profound loss, the shortcomings families can encounter within mental health care, and the possibility of finding meaning, connection and moments of beauty after unimaginable tragedy.In this episodeThe sudden reality of losing a child to suicideFiamma’s experience of CAMHS and mental health servicesThe forthcoming inquestNavigating funeral arrangements and an inquest while grievingWhy physical movement and breathwork became importantFinding support among other suicide-bereaved parentsBuddhism, retreats, pilgrimage and spiritualitySelf-love and learning to live alongside griefThe healing role of creativity and sculptureFiamma’s work on the Tower of London poppy installationLearning to live “gracefully” without pretending grief disappearsContent note: This episode contains discussion of suicide, suicide attempts, bereavement and mental health difficulties. Please listen with care.www.fiammamontagu.co.uk Support the showHas this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan MailBel Mooney is an acclaimed British journalist, broadcaster, author and long-running newspaper columnist whose career has spanned more than five decades. Best known for her thoughtful and compassionate advice column, Bel has become one of the UK's most trusted voices on relationships, family life and the everyday challenges of being human.A familiar face and voice across television and radio, she has presented and contributed to programmes for the BBC, ITV and Channel 4, while also writing bestselling novels, memoirs and non-fiction. Her work is known for combining warmth, honesty and sharp insight, encouraging people to navigate life's complexities with empathy and resilience.In this episode, Bel joins Lucy to explore love, friendship, family dynamics and what truly makes relationships flourish. Drawing on a lifetime of listening to people's stories, she shares practical wisdom, heartfelt reflections and timeless advice on building deeper, more meaningful connections.Key Points of the episode:Her variety of accents!Her pride in her backgroundHer impressive CV and working lifeHow she never used to read the very thing she ended up writing!How she marries after 3 months and divorced ater 35 years.Why she does not like the term "agony aunt"Her love of print mediaHow one powerful article left a lasting legacy in the world.Some top tips for living well.Read her column in the Daily Mail or check her out here:www.belmooney.co.uk, or email [email protected] Support the showHas this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan MailSinger, songwriter, musician and renowned ukulele teacher Sam Brown on what happened when she lost her voice - an dhow she survived it. Her loss, as she explains, was triggered by trauma; the death of her wonderful mother at a relatively young age from cancer and her own marriage breakdown.What do you do when your world is music? Best known for her iconic hit Stop! and a remarkable career performing with artists including Pink Floyd, David Gilmour, Jools Holland, George Harrison and Elton John, Sam has sold more than three million records worldwide. Then her voice just went.She talks of how she tried everything to get is back but to no avail.After losing her singing voice in 2007, Sam reinvented her musical life, building a thriving community through her Fabulous Ukulele Clubs, where she now teaches hundreds of students both in person and online. Her story is one of courage, humour and finding new purpose when life takes an unexpected turn. In this episode, we explore the healing power of music, the importance of human connection, and how extraordinary relationships can help us navigate life's biggest challenges with hope, authenticity and joy. It's an inspiring conversation about creativity, resilience and the relationships that shape our lives and, of course, the International Ukelele Club of Sonning Common.. Key Points of the Episode:Her relationship with her singer Dad Joe BrownHer beginnings in the music businessThe shocking twist of fate that changed her life radically.The mind/body reason for the loss of her voiceThe eventual incredible (partial) solutionThe club she started that grew exponentiallyHer new music releases.Her musings on past choicesThe legacy she is leaving and her message.www.misssambrown.com Support the showHas this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan MailMaggie O'Kane is a highly-acclaimed, well respected journalists and documentary filmmaker with a career spanning more than four decades. Renowned for fearless investigative reporting, she first established her reputation covering conflicts across Eastern Europe and the Balkans before becoming one of The Guardian's most acclaimed foreign correspondents. Her reporting from the Siege of Sarajevo during the Bosnian War earned widespread praise for its vivid, compassionate storytelling and won her numerous journalism awards, including UK Journalist of the Year and the Amnesty International Media Award. After moving into documentary filmmaking, O'Kane became Editorial Director of Guardian Films, producing award-winning investigations into war crimes, human rights abuses, violence against women and global injustice. Her films have appeared on British and international broadcasters and have been recognised for combining rigorous journalism with powerful human stories. In recent years, Maggie O'Kane has devoted much of her work to ending Female Genital Mutilation (FGM). She helped lead The Guardian's groundbreaking global campaign against FGM, using journalism not simply to report the issue but to amplify the voices of survivors and frontline campaigners. The initiative highlighted the experiences of women and girls across Africa, the Middle East and migrant communities worldwide, bringing international attention to the issue through documentaries, investigations and public campaigns. Today she serves as Executive Director and co-founder of the Global Media Campaign to End FGM and is also Executive Director of Frontline Ending FGM. Working alongside grassroots organisations across multiple African countries, she champions locally led solutions, supports survivor networks, develops media campaigns and helps strengthen systems that protect girls at risk. Her approach has been widely recognised for placing affected communities, rather than outside organisations, at the centre of efforts to eradicate FGM. Throughout her career, Maggie O'Kane has demonstrated how journalism can do more than inform. By exposing injustice, giving a platform to survivors and helping drive international action, she has shown the powerful role investigative reporting can play in advancing human rights. Her work on FGM stands as one of the most significant examples of journalism being used as a catalyst for lasting social change.Her list of professional accolades, and what she pioneers now.Her backstory and how it all began.Her story of being a "refugee from Belfast"A meaningful coincidence.The most dramatic situations she has been in.How she felt invincible.Why she was familiar with ethnic cleansing from her childhood, so could see through the lies in Yugoslavia.The most terrifying experience of her life.Why she should not have gone back to Belfast, but did 5 years later with her family.The miscarriages she had (5).Her dinner with Peter Mandelson.Her experience with Nelson Mandela.Her experience at a Buddhist retreat.An exclusive and deeply honest reveal.Her incredible work in the FGM world....and what needs to change...But how they are passionately campaigning with a beautiful, celebratory campaign.New laws being passed (albeit slowly)www.globalmediacampaign.org Support the showHas this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan MailDr Susannah Self is a British composer, conductor and former mezzo soprano whose work spans opera, orchestral music and choral composition. She is a highly successful woman in what is predominantly a man's world. Her compositions garner international acclaim.After an international singing career of more than 25 years, she turned her focus to composition, earning both an MPhil from the University of Cambridge and a PhD in Composition from Birmingham Conservatoire. She originally trained at the Royal College of Music, where she studied singing, composition and conducting, and also received scholarships from the Royal Society of Arts and the Banff Centre in Canada, where she worked with the pioneering composer John Cage. Self has composed four operas, including The Butt, based on Will Self's novel and premiered at the Musiktheatertage Festival in Vienna, and Quilt Song, first performed in Birmingham in 2018. Her orchestral catalogue includes four symphonies, two of which have been recorded by the Moravian Philharmonic Orchestra. Her music has been commissioned by organisations including the Arts Council England, Birmingham Opera Company, Birmingham Contemporary Music Group and the Spitalfields Festival, and is published by Composers Edition. Alongside her composing, Dr Self teaches at Junior Guildhall and has conducted numerous operatic productions. As a performer, she appeared with leading opera companies across Europe, including the Royal Opera House, Glyndebourne, Opera North and the Vlaamse Opera, singing a wide repertoire from Mozart and Britten to Philip Glass and contemporary works. Today, she continues to combine composition, conducting and education while championing new music and opera.Key points of the episode:Her life, composing and life in a man's world.Is her world as glamourous as it looks?How she was originally advised to be an opera singer and why.How employment differs in the UK and Europe and the best way to succeed.What she was like as a little 3 year old girlHow women composers were discouraged.The flow state of composing.The therapy she went through - Jungian style.The delicious response her therapist had to her doubts.Her amazing relationship with her "perfect match" partnerHow composers earn money (at the top)....and not.Conducter - or poet?How she makes a living- the same as the greats..Her sense of and interest in spirituality, but not religion as such.How brave you have to be- self daringWhat she would say to her 3 year old self.See her on her publishers websitesComposers Edition << UKUniversal Edition << ViennaSubstackNext Performances - (Facebook)You TubeSoundcloud (ad free) Support the showHas this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan MailKathryn Flett is one of Britain's best known journalists, critics and memoirists. In this powerful and deeply personal conversation, Kathryn discusses the unimaginable loss of her son Jackson and the long, complex journey through grief that followed. With extraordinary openness, she explores the many different shades of grief experienced by everyone involved, why she initially believed the police officer at her door was "talking nonsense", and why real life bore little resemblance to television, right down to there being just one police officer delivering the devastating news.She speaks candidly about the level of demonstrative love she found herself needing, the well-meaning but often "wrong" ways people responded, and the painful "reconfiguration of the address book" as friendships and relationships changed forever.She also recounts the emotional impact of the inquest, the unexpected shock that followed, and the slow, tentative process of re-entering the world through what she describes as "baby steps". It is an honest, compassionate and ultimately hopeful conversation about surviving the unsurvivable, finding a way forward, and learning to live alongside grief rather than trying to outrun it.Kathryn reflects on the role of EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) therapy in helping her process trauma, why she came to see blame as an unhelpful emotion, and the complicated aftermath that follows a sudden loss. A former editor of Arena magazine and a long-time columnist for The Observer, The Guardian and other national publications, she has built a reputation for combining razor-sharp wit with remarkable emotional honesty. She is currently a Daily Mail's TV critic.Key points of the episode:The tragic story of how she lost her son.The different shades of grief experienced by all concerned.Why, when the police came, she did not immediately realise the seriousness of the situation.How she felt the policeman was "talking nonsense"Her treatment of EMDR- "Eye Movement Desensitiving (and) Reprocessing. Why there was only one police officer at the door (unlike on TV)Why blame she felt was an unhelpful emotion.The complicated aftermath.The level of demonstrative love that she needed.The "Wrong" ways people responded.The "reconfiguration of the address book."The inquest. And then the next shock.The re-entering the world. Baby Steps Check out her TV in the Daily Mail or ...kathrynflett.substack.com Support the showHas this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/

Send us Fan MailDr Stella Duffy OBE is an existential psychotherapist, award-winning writer, speaker and theatremaker with a career spanning therapy, literature and the arts. Alongside her private practice, she has worked in NHS cancer support, hospice bereavement services and community mental health, helping people navigate life's biggest challenges with warmth, honesty and compassion. Awarded an OBE for Services to the Arts, Stella is also the author of 17 novels, more than 70 short stories and numerous plays. Her doctorate in Existential Psychotherapy focused on the embodied experience of post-menopause, reflecting her passion for exploring what it means to live a rich, authentic and meaningful life. Expect an engaging, thought-provoking evening as Stella shares insights into the human condition, resilience, creativity, and how we can all make better sense of ourselves and the lives we lead.Key Points of the Episode:How she was the first person in her family to finish secondary school!Existential therapy- she practises it- what is it?How she has been in therapy herself 3 times in her life.Her experience with cancer.Her first experience of existential therapy and how she encountered it.Her experience of the self help movement.Her current practise (hint - slowwwwww down!)Why she is such a "doer"Her thoughts on education and its privilege.Her thoughts and statistics on menopause and the importance of supporting women. (an old school view but still very relevant) The problem with current cultural attitudesWhat was really happening during the hunter/gathering period.Her new book.Sexuality and the freedom after menopause.The benefits of an existential outlook on life.A motivational message. Support the showHas this podcast inspired you and would you like to learn more?You can reach out to Lucy, love coach, relationship counsellor, couples counsellor extraordinaire and author of "How to have extraordinary relationships with absolutely everybody".....On:http://www.lucycavendishlovecoach.com/